Chapter 42 - The first Failure

You might be wondering what happened to the resolution to escape? Where did all that ambition go?

Well…

To explain fully would mean having to explain the last decade of my many failed attempts…

It's not that I didn't have plan. It's that they weren't the most thorough and every time I got close, a variable, usually ignorance, would be my downfall.

My first time was nine years ago. I was seven and had simply decided to pack my things and leave. It wasn't that simple, but my only obstacle, Ruby, was easily disposed of using alcoholic chocolates. He was a light weight. Probably because he was underage… ha ha ha.

Anyway- after I had got him drunk and inefficient to stalk me. I took care of Victor, by telling Martha he had a fever, who in turn told mother, who in turn, freaked the hell out and hurried the perfectly healthy child to the royal physician. Edmund wasn't even an obstacle. He had left earlier that day to spend it with Duke Camellia.

So I just walked out with a rucksack of coins and food. Nobody noticed me. Nobody stopped me. That is until I got to the gates and realised I would have to go through a heavy security process…

I thought it wouldn't be a problem since I was dressed as a maid and nobody really knew my face. Yeah… It just so happened the man in charge of guarding that day had been the scar faced soldier who had been with Duke Camellia that day I first met Edmund.

He took one glance at me and almost fell over in shock.

"What- What are you?- " he stuttered pointing to my outfit, "why- Why are you?!"-

"Wait!- I - I can explain!" I still remember the dread of my family maybe finding out. And by family I meant the male leads, my father and the Brennus.

"Your highness" he finally calmed and whispered to me to avoid being heard by the soldiers that eye us curiously, "if you want to go out, allow me to escort you. Please do not do anything so dangerous. You are the precious jewel of the Empire" he smiled.

"I- I just wanted to go out for a bit, without getting noticed" I lied, legs ready to give out.

He looked me over for a moment and nodded.

"I don't think anyone would give you a second glance when your dressed like that" he bluntly said.

Thanks?…

"Then can I?" My toes curled in excitement.

"It's quite risky… if something were to happen then?"- I moved slightly to the left as he spoke, leaving his field of vision as he began to look around in fear. No way? Did he lose sight of me??? I moved back and he finally noticed me and gasped, "you- You are no ordinary person princess. When did you learn to sneak at such a skill level?" He asked in earnest.

I blinked at him.

What the hell is wrong with these adults?

"I can do it naturally. So can I go?"

"I suppose with a skill like that you should be fine. How about this? If you don't return in two hours I'll fetch you myself" he suddenly grabbed one of my sleeves and apologetically ripped a bit off. "I'll be able to locate you with this".

I stared at him and the cloth with an incredulous expression.

"How?"

"Oh?" His face flushed, "I come from a hunting family so my sense of smell is quite sharp. I should be able to locate you without the cloth, but just in case you're too far" he explained.

What the fuck?

How could anyone sniff someone out?

"How far can you smell to?" I asked in carefully disguised dread.

"About five miles".

I left the palace floors like the failure I was. What kind of human can smell people out that far? I glanced at my child legs. Could I out run a specialised group of adults with a two hour head start? I came to the realisation there was no point in running away right now, even though I went through such careful planning.

I should have asked when he wasn't on duty instead!

As a way to pass the hour I went around the capital and tasted the street food. Bought a bunch of souvenirs to take home. I even bought a decoration chain for a sword. It was so eye catching with its amethyst jewel I decided to get it for Edmund.

I had returned just before the sun was to set and was actually giddy with excitement. I had managed to leave the palace grounds as a nobody. Didn't that mean I should be able to do this more often?

Amid my happiness I forgot one very important thing. I did not realise that Ruby wasn't the only person set to watch me. I skipped back to the mansion where the most terrifying blonde giant awaited me with both my suddenly intimidating uncle and brother.

"Oh shit"..

Memorable last words.

I didn't know princess' could get grounded. I was confined to my room in the main palace for three straight months. I could only get visitors and couldn't leave and I had to right a report everyday about how I was reflecting on my rebellious behaviour.

It was terrible.

"Why would you leave without attendants? Are you unsatisfied with something?" The Emperor looked at me with a worried expression, "if someone were to notice who you were then what do you think might have happened!? I thought you were smarter than this?"

I had never felt like such a child since I was well… actually a child. It was degrading, but ultimately, the most horrible experience ever.

"Why would you put yourself in danger like that, sister? What if you hadn't come back alive?" Jirael added, there were unshed tears in his eyes that made me feel even worse.

"There are terrible people outside Mallory. Many people would want to shed our blood simply because we are royalty. They don't care for gender or age" Duke Camellia also scolded me.

"I'm sorry" was all I could really say, "I just wanted to go outside".

My words did soften them, but they didn't break so easily. Otherwise they wouldn't make such fine rulers.

"Freedom is something that works both ways my child. Freedom to and Freedom from. We offer you both in such ways to keep you safe. Do you understand?" I nodded sublimely at the Emperors words and he let out a deep breath, "I can't believe you got passed the guards dressed in such a lousy disguise. I should have them memorise your face in the training program".

I faltered.

"But father!"-

He glared at me and I shut up.

"You had me worried. If you hadn't returned when you did I would have mobilised the entire Knight squad" his face the epitome of tired father of rebellious daughter, "if you want to go out next time, you may. But take your Brennus friend at least".

Eh? I looked up at him in shock.

He gave me a smile.

"I don't want you to feel miserable and constricted. Feel free to leave, but not alone like that".

Wait… this whole time.. I COULD LEAVE?!?!