Memory That Cannot be Erased

"It's normal," Diaz replied curtly. All his friends in the class now turned their eyes towards Diaz. It was as if they were waiting for the latest gossip in his school today.

Diaz picked up his textbooks. Then, he quickly left the classroom for the laboratory. Helmi followed behind him. He clung to Diaz even more. Because he wanted to know more about the girl who had recently developed a huge crush on his classmate, who was as stiff as an iceberg.

Diaz didn't pay much attention to him. He still looked indifferent and cold, his hallmark in class. In fact, the more he played, the more his friend became. Leave it alone! He wouldn't bother about Afika accidentally cheering him on in the field.

What's in the mouth is in the heart. A small smile briefly appeared on her thin lips. This was the first time Diaz smiled remembering the incident this afternoon. Not about the field, but the unexpected incident at the back of the arts building. Even now, the sweet scent emanating from Afika's lips still lingered in his memory.

'She's wearing strawberry flavoured lipglos, I think,' Diaz thought to himself. Aish! Why was he still thinking about Afika? It's just distracting. Hurriedly, Diaz pushed Afika's image out of his mind.

Meanwhile, Afika, who was already embarrassed, didn't have the face to meet other people outside her class. She also did not go to the canteen and chose to stay in the classroom, waiting until the break bell was over. Not long after, the bell for the next lesson rang. All students entered their respective classrooms.

During the lesson, Afika's focus was always distracted. She would often daydream and think of unimportant things. For example, imagining the story of the princess and prince in the royal fairy tale. When the princess and the prince kissed. Ah, no!

Afika shook her head quickly. She wanted that memory to disappear from her brain immediately. She didn't want to imagine anything more about Diaz. That was the expectation. The reality was very different. The more she remembered, the harder it was to forget. Because after all, her first kiss had been tainted by a man who was not her first love.

'Why him, why not Alan?’ Afika complained. Her mind was rebelling and she really wanted to file a lawsuit or protest against Diaz's mistreatment.

But, on second thought, Diaz wasn't at fault either. Afika herself had kissed him first. God, she wanted to bang her forehead on the wall or on her study table. She realised that it was purely her fault. Should she apologise to Diaz? Ah, that's not the concept. It was obviously an accident. There was no apology in advance. She also claimed her innocence.

Or put it this way, let's forget about that incident, which Afika doesn't think is important. It wasn't her first kiss. Not at all, yes. Okay, now she can relax after indoctrinating herself. If not herself, who else could calm her restless heart and soul right now?

"Why didn't you go to the canteen earlier? What's wrong with you? You look like you're in a daze." Febby immediately approached Afika at her desk. Likewise with Gina.

"Ah, I didn't rush there. Sorry," Afika regretted. "Did you guys eat the meatballs earlier?" she also changed the subject.

"I did! My stomach is already full," said Gina as she rubbed her slightly distended stomach.

Afika smiled rather forcefully. Actually, she was holding back her hunger because she didn't have time to go to the canteen. If only there weren't so many strange things happening to her today. She would have finished her bowl of Bakso noodles without leftovers, along with her friends.

"Oh, yes. We met Alan earlier," Febby told her.

Afika's face immediately turned enthusiastic. "Wow, really? What's going on? Did he ask about me?"

Febby and Gina shrugged their shoulders with devilish smiles. "No!" said Gina.

Afika felt disappointed. She thought Alan would ask her how she was doing or something. But he didn't. Maybe it was time she realised that Alan, the popular guy, couldn't possibly be interested in an ordinary girl like Afika. Her dreams shouldn't be so high. If they don't come true, the fall will hurt even more.

"It's Alan! He passed by our class!" Gina directed.

Afika, who was already a bit lazy, changed direction. Her gaze followed the direction of Gina's pointer which pointed directly to the face of the handsome senior.

"Alan is really sweet when he smiles," Febby added. She was amazed to see it.

"Sweet. Especially if he kisses me on the lips," Afika fantasised. Her two friends, Gina and Febby looked at each other and wondered.

"Kissed how do you mean, Fik?" Gina frowned.

Oh my! Afika had blurted out. She shouldn't say such vulgar things in front of her friends who knew nothing about her first kiss incident. She had to trick her friends. By acting like an idiot and correcting her words earlier. Hopefully Gina and Febby wouldn't be so 'aware' of what she just said.

"Ah, it's nothing. Just forget it," said Afika with a pleading face.

Gina and Febby frowned. There seemed to be something wrong with their best friend's brain. A short circuit for sure.

"You watch too many dramas, that's why you're like that." Gina could understand that. Afika really liked watching romantic dramas so she got carried away with her fantasy.

"That's why you should have a boyfriend so you don't keep watching," advised Febby.

"Who are you dating? No one wants to date me," complained Afika. Poor thing, her life is really miserable.

Gina and Febby had a crazy idea for Afika. They said that if Afika likes Alan, just approach him. Keep sticking to him until you get him, don't let go. Their suggestion does make sense and can be accepted by Afika's mind.

However, she had to look in the mirror again. How could Afika's love be reciprocated by Alan? Even a beautiful girl like Carla was rejected by Alan. Let alone Afika. That's all right. There's no hope for Afika.

"Suck it, so you're just going to give up before you fight?" Gina teased. Afika nodded weakly.

"Giving up first is better than ending up hurt. Isn't that right, Feb?" Afika turned to Febby, asking her opinion.

"Not really, in my opinion. You don't know what's in that guy's heart. Why don't you try revealing your heart to Alan first? Whether he accepts or rejects is a later matter, Fik," Febby advised, encouraging her. She fully supported Afika's efforts to win the heart of Alan, her first love.

After listening to the advice of her two friends, Afika's feelings began to waver. Should she follow the advice of her two best friends? Or stick to her own stance. Loving Alan in silence.

To be continue …