Chapter 14 Painful memories

On the bed there are two little girls sleeping, one has long black hair and on the other is white lower twin-tails. The black-haired girl's eyes tumbled a little and slowly opened her eyes. She rubbed her eyes with her tiny hands and looked around.

"mmm…" she heard the sound near her, so she looked at the place where the sound came from and saw a little person sleeping peacefully.

"Lu…na…" the girl murmured in a low tone and she didn't think about where this place was anymore. The girl is staring at her sister Luna for a while. Moments later, the girl's small hand goes near the sleeping girl's chin. Unknowingly, there was a small smile on her face.

"We will survive in this world," she said in a low tone. The girl's name is Lucia. On the side of the bed there was a girl with white hair looking at the two little girls. Yes, the girl is Lucia, our MC.

"Isn't this… memories of Lucia?" when she looked at her hands, they were seen through as the same as her whole body. "Rin?" System didn't answer her back. "Is this just a dream?"

"I guess this dream is like watching a movie…" She looked back at the little girls. 'I feel… happy… huh? It's strange… I feel happy, but this doesn't seem to come from my own? Forget it.' Lucia continued to watch again as she couldn't touch them and the little girls didn't seem to hear her voice either.

Little Lucia got down from bed. After she looked back at Luna, she took a knife that she had and walked out of the room.

The shelter was in the underground and when she walked out she saw other rooms and kids too. Most of them are sleeping, only very few of them walk out of the room to find food.

'We got a warm bed and food. However, there is not much food for us and we still have to rely on ourselves like always.' She held the knife tightly and started to walk out of the church. As soon as she walks out of the church, the things greeting her are a light-grey colored sky and endless snow that falls down from the sky.

There is a lot of snow on the surface too, and even lakes are frozen. Frozen trees, building pieces, and cold winds are brewing everywhere. The sun can hardly see, there is almost no sunray. Coldness is everywhere and dying people are everywhere. It was as if the world was abandoned from blessings.

Lucia walked slowly, watching for danger. Even though she is small, she has become accustomed to this lifestyle and can fight infections, finding foods that remains in some buildings. Of course, most of the day she finds food.

Unlike in the movies, infection from this world is machines, or we could say living machines. Once infected, their flesh and blood will become iron like unknown materials slowly and surely. There is no way to prevent it.

Once a person becomes fully infected, they will no longer have human emotions and they will only desire to ruin every living thing. That's why once they become like that way, there is no other way than destroying it.

'Winter is coming again. I need to find more for our survival. I hope to get some food today.' Lucia walked into the ruined building from a broken window. She found some pictures, broken chairs and broken plates.

'This must be the kitchen' The room is so messy that, she can hardly recognize it as could be a kitchen. She searched for a while and found some cookie bags. Most of them are already out of shape but she could still eat them.

She smiled happily and took it in her pocket. Then she searched for more as she thought she might get some edible things. She was already so lucky that she had found three cookie bags in this ruined place, but she was hoping to get more, as the more she could find, the more food they could eat in winter. In winter she won't be able to find any food as the winter is so cold that a child like her would die in just 30 minutes outside.

She returned to church with a smile on her face. It's already dark. Today is a lucky day that she didn't find infects and get food. The last thing they ate was a canned meat but we could say only her sister ate it, as Lucia said to Luna that she ate some outside. Lucia ate some outdated foods before she was given canned meat that could barely count non-outdated food.

When she returned to the church, she went down to an underground shelter and opened the door of her and her sister's room. In the room, Luna is chatting with some children. She turned back and greeted Lucia.

"Nee-san! You are back." Lucia smiled and greeted her back.

"I'm back"

She closed the door and took the food that she could collect from the surface and stored it in the box near their bed. The children leave after a while and leave only Lucia and Luna. They chat for a while and go to bed. Just like that, 10 days have passed. Those days were the happiest days for Lucia as she found a lot of food. It seems no one found those foods here as there are some infects walking around the area. She is in bliss as they are going to survive this long winter.

In the ruined building,

'I guess this is all I could find. Well, I have taken many already, so they might not be left in here anymore.' She looked around and sighed. She was about to leave but she found a frog doll with a red color on its lips. It still looks good as it's still in good shape and if Luna hugs it she might get warm. She smiled and took it with her to church. Today, she met with some infections but she could escape as she is used to it now.

When she got back to her room, she saw Luna sitting on the bed while swinging her legs.

"Nee-san!! You are back!" She seemed to be bored and ran to Lucia as soon as Lucia got in.

"Luna, Un… today I found a doll when I was outside." Lucia gave Luna the frog doll as she said that.

"I thought you might like it so I brought it back."

"Pfff… So ugly!!" Luna said.

"It is… Ugly?" Lucia was depressed as Luna seemed not to like it.

"…But I will take it!" Luna took the doll from Lucia and carefully inspected it while saying she liked it because Lucia gave her first doll a gift.

"Really?" Lucia asked, as she was in relief.

"But I like Nee-san more!" Lucia smiled as Luna looked happy. After that, Luna plays with dolls in bed as Lucia goes to the box that stores supplies. She opens and stores the food that she has found today. She looked at the food that was stored in a box and murmured.

"Why is there so little food left?"

"Luna, did you secretly eat more?" Even though Lucia doesn't mind about it, their situation is not allowed to eat like that.

"I… don't eat… it… I lent it to someone…" Luna answered, looking down as if she was being scolded.

"That much food? … You lent it all?" Lucia said as she became so afraid they might not get back.

"Yea… what is wrong?" Luna said, as Lucia was shocked. 'We will not last this winter, we are going to die from starving'.

"It's my fault that I haven't checked the storage box these past few days."

Lucia explained to Luna as she looked at her why she was storing food.

"Luna, we won't survive with this much food."

"But… they said they would return them later…" Luna said, as she still believed in returning the foods she lent to other children.

"Luna!!" Lucia shouted in anger.

"What's wrong with nee-san?" Luna got close and was about to hold Lucia's hand, but Lucia grabbed Luna's hand and rushed out of the room.

"Sister… it's painful…" Luna said, as she was pained by the strength of Lucia. Lucia took Luna to the main hall. There are many people in the main hall.

"Who borrowed food from Luna?! Speak up!!" All the people were looking at Luna and Lucia but no one spoke a word.

"It's you! Isn't it?" Lucia said to the little boy that had come to their room recently to play.

"I ate it all already… what's left is only enough for myself to survive. What do you want me to do? It's not like I can give it back!!" The boy shouted back at Lucia.

"You!!" A moment later,

"Please… help us…"

"Help us… I beg of you…" Lucia begged as she kneed and bowed her head touching the floor. Luna is looking at her sister, feeling guilt. If she didn't lend them food, they would be chatting happily now. But, her sister is begging while kneeling to the person that she lent. She always wanted to help her sister, but now, she even makes her sister beg for food, even though that food is brought by her sister. She was sad now, but she couldn't do anything either. The boy ignored Lucia and left.

Lucia asked for help from the crowd but no one responded. The sister (nun) came out and said "Blame yourself for being naïve."

On the side, Lucia (MC) is watching all of this. She couldn't touch nor speak. It is no difference from dreaming, but there are strange things that are happening to her. That's whenever little Lucia was happy, she felt happy or whenever little Lucia felt sad, she also felt sad, it was as if she herself was experiencing those feelings.

Little Lucia stared at the boy with hatred and left with Luna, who followed her behind. Lucia is coming out of the underground shelter again. But this time, Luna is also with her.

"Nee-san…" Luna calls Lucia with guilt

"We have no choice but to do this." Lucia took Luna as they needed to find more food and take as much as they could. She doesn't want to bring Luna as she loves her sister so much, but she has to bring her now. They walk to the place where foods might still be there and they are found by infects. Lucia fights back and some infects die.

However, they are endless as they are coming one after another.

"haa….haa…. stay behind me Luna", other infects are coming again.

"But nee-san you have been fighting for a long time now."

When they were about to be overwhelmed by infects

*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* After the soldiers killed the infects, they found two little girls.

"!! Sir! We found two little girls!" "huff….hufff…" Lucia is breathing heavily while holding a knife tightly and Luna is hugging the arm of Lucia.

"Two little girls in a place like this?" a grey-haired man with a black suit said. They chat for a while and bring Luna and Lucia back to their base. After that, they check two little girls' bodies and find out that they could become reconstructed soldiers. So, they give the two girls good room and food, just so they can encourage them to become soldiers. Little Lucia knew something was strange about this so she asked what they wanted and answered, the grey old man named Nicola, what was Reconstructed soldiers. They chat for a while. After that, little Lucia and Luna leave their base with a lot of food supplies.

Back at the base,

"Sir…" the soldier was about to continue but

"I know… We have no choice but to do this." Nicola saw in Lucia's eyes that there was unwavering determination about survival, unlike a normal child, but that was not only for her, that was also for her sister and he knew she could be a person that could save humans from infects. That's why he decided to lie about a peaceful place where they could live.

Back at the church, after they brought supplies, they are safe from winter now and could live another season. Luckily, when her sister (nun) saw them with a lot of food, she didn't steal it and just asked them where they had gone to. At night time, Luna and Lucia are lying on the bed.

'If I become a constructed soldier, Luna can eat full and stay in a safe place.'

"Nee-san…" Luna called Lucia while facing Lucia with her back.

"What is it?"

"Are you going to become a soldier like the old man said?"

"Yes, that way we can live comfortably."

"Yes… we can… but why not me?"

"Because it still seems too dangerous. I said that before, didn't I? I will do dangerous things... Luna?"

"…zzz…" Lucia grabbed the bed sheet and covered Luna.

Lucia (MC) is watching them from a side with a sad face, as she knows about the back story of Lucia and Luna. However, she doesn't feel too sad as that's how the two little girls become stronger and the game starts. It was not her anyway.

Morning had come, and she noticed that there was no Lunar there. She ran out of the room and ran to the main hall.

"Did anyone see Luna?!" she shouted and little is reply that Luna is gone out with a black man-suited. Lucia ran out of the church as soon as she knew about it and headed to the place that they had gone yesterday.

But she is found by a lot of infects and fights her way out from there. However, there is no end to it. Luckily, the soldiers found her and rescued her and brought her back to the base.

"You would be dead if we could not find the way out of your path." The soldier scolded her.

"Where is my sister?" she asked the soldier, but he could not talk about her as he felt guilt about what happened to her.

"Your sister's operation has failed", Nicolas came and told her. Lucia started to get a bad feeling now but with some hope, she asked again.

"She is still alive now, right? I can still see her… right?!" but Nicolas said mercilessly.

"She is disposed of" and he explained how Luna would become infect and that is why she was disposed of.

"Sorry, you will never see her again."

"YOU!!" Lucia shouted. She couldn't believe it as she punched Nicolas and started to cry. Tears dropped from her eyes endlessly. Her heart was broken to the core that can't be repaired anymore. Moments later, little Lucia drops on her knees as she becomes tired from a mental breakdown. The only ray of life that kept her struggling is gone and she doesn't want to live anymore.

On the side of little Lucia, who is crying non-stop from heart-breaking news, adult Lucia with white hair is also crying non-stop too. She is feeling the same feeling as little Lucia in her own dream or more like memories. She is feeling thousands of needles are being priced through her heart. As if that's not enough, she could feel her heart was being thrown into the lava. The feeling was so dreadful that she couldn't stand it even more. She is still rational, but her feelings are, no doubt, true. If she is feeling this much while rational, how bad could a little girl like her (little Lucia) endure this feeling?

Little Lucia's eyes became dead as she tried to stand up weakly and walk out of the base. For a little kid like her who is even trying harder than normal adults while keeping her sister, losing her ray of hope is worse than dead. Nicolas and the soldiers don't do anything and just watch her silently.

Even if they feel guilt for their lost, they can't bring back the dead person or save the infected people. Their world is already hell and almost all places have similar situations like this. Even most of them have lost their most loved ones.

As soon as the little Lucia walked out of the base, the vision of Lucia (MC) became slowly darker.

"..cia…"

"L..c…a"

"Lucia!!"

Lucia opened her eyes and looked at the person that was waking her. Saeko sighs in relief as, finally, Lucia is awake, but she still feels worried as Lucia keeps saying 'Luna' endlessly while crying. Even Saeko doesn't become like this from her trauma.

"I… where… Ah… Sae…ko" Lucia came to her right mind again after she saw Saeko, her now lover. She sat up from her bed and hugged Saeko and her feeling became calmer slowly again. This feeling was the worst in her entire life, as she didn't feel anything like that even in her male past.

'What happened? Why am I dreaming about this? Doesn't god make a body and not the original body of Lucia? How strange… I should ask Rin.'

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