22 It’s payday fellas!

"Wow, even when touching you like this it's hard to tell that you're a puppet."

While waiting for Barbatos to get his lyre back, Lumine, bored out of her mind, decided to take it upon herself to determine the veracity of the archon's word regarding me being a puppet. She decided that, in her boundless intellect, the greatest and fastest way would be to cut me open with her sword just a bit to take a peek inside.

I would be inclined to agree if not for the fact that I can feel pain.

"Yeah! Even your hair feels like… uhh, hair! Paimon can't tell the difference at all!"

Paimon, not wanting to be left out, took my hat off and started rubbing her little hands all over my head. And it seems that, after much consideration, she concluded that my hair is, in fact, made out of hair. Truly, she is the Albert Einstein of our time.

"Are the two of you done yet?"

Lumine, who was currently busy running her hands through my finger, shakes her head. "Nope. Come on, Yuu, this is my first time seeing a puppet that resembles so much like a human. Humor me, please?"

Releasing herself from me, she leans her body forward slightly, making herself seem shorter. With both hands on her back, her golden eyes looked up towards me. Having to look down on her, I can't help but notice the subtle way she's emphasizing her breast.

'This has to be intentional, right?'

"Don't give me those eyes, princess."

"Please?"

She moves a bit closer towards me, our bodies practically touching at this point. She's good. Really good.

"Alright, alright, geez."

"Haha, yes!" Letting out a cheer, she continued running her hands through mine. "Works one-hundred percent of the time, every single time."

"I have to wonder how many men you've swindled like this."

"What? Swindled? How could you say that? I've done no such thing! All I did was come up to them, do a bit of sweet talking, and at the right moment, all I had to do was ask politely. How could that be called swindling?"

"Somehow you made it sound even worse."

"Relax, Yuu." She said, as she leaned back towards the railing, my hand still in her grasp. "It's not like I do it every time. There are times where we need that extra bit to help our journey, you know?"

Towards the end of her sentence, her tone suddenly turns melancholic. Not surprising, really. I imagine she always had her brother by her side, a constant within her otherwise ever changing life. The person she could always rely on. Her eternal companion. Her anchor.

Even if she manages to connect with other people, given her presumably long natural lifespan and her constant traveling, they wouldn't last. Whether that's because their life was cut short somewhere along the way, or because she'll always end up leaving them behind, never staying in one world for too long.

'In that regard, Teyvat must be something of a prison to her.'

Squeezing her left hand with my right, I tried to reassure her as best I could. "You'll find him, don't worry."

"Will I?" Giving my hand a squeeze in return, she couldn't help but doubt herself. "The power I always rely on, taken away from me by some god for reasons I don't even know. I haven't seen my brother in, what, hundreds of years at this point?"

Unconsciously, she began to clench my hand harder. "I don't know anything about this world. I don't know where I should even start. How long do I have to search before I can find him? Is he… is he even still alive?" Looking at her expression filled with sadness, I can see a hint of tear in her eyes. "I miss him, Yuu. I really miss him."

'Well shit. How am I supposed to deal with this?'

The only time some girl came to me crying was back in elementary school. Even then, I don't think I handled it all that well either.

'For starters, patting her head should be fine right? Isn't that like the first response for things like this? At least that's what my extensive research on anime and manga says.'

Moving away from the railings, I stood in front of her and placed my left hand on her head, gently running it through her blond hair. "Lumine, listen to me." When I saw that she's paying attention, I continued. "Don't cry, okay? I'm sure that one day you'll be able to find him." Moving my left hand towards her face, I gently wiped the tears in her eyes. "Besides, you'll always have Paimon on your side. Right, Paimon?"

The little fairy, unsure what to do about the situation, perked up when she heard my call. "Of course! Don't worry Lumine, Paimon will never leave you behind. Paimon is your guide, after all!"

Hearing the energetic reply of her floating companion seems to cheer her up somewhat. "Thanks Paimon." Raising her right hand, she gently patted her head, causing the little fairy to let out a giggle before quietly enjoying it.

'Well, well. Anime logic prevails once more.'

Before I could separate myself from Lumine, she suddenly grabbed my left hand and held it in place. "Where do you think you're going?" Gone were the sadness on her face, and replacing it is that same annoying smirk I've seen before. "Don't you know? You're supposed to give a girl a hug when she's sad to cheer her up."

"And you're telling me that you look like the picture of sadness right now?"

"But of course! Red puffy eyes, signs of tears running down my cheek, and more importantly–" erasing the smirk off her face, her mouth started to quiver, as if holding back tears, and with it, came a voice that matched her current expression. "Please, Yuu… just a hug? Please?"

Wonderful performance from our resident protagonist! That expression, the voice acting, truly, an excellent actress in the making! Famous directors would no doubt flood her with role offers, actors all around the world had nothing but praises for her performance, even DiCaprio shall gladly surrender her his own Oscars!

"You are so unbelievable."

Instead of answering, she just spreads her arms wider, signaling her need for a hug.

"Ugh, whatever."

With one hand already clasped in hers, I put the other one around her neck and placed my head on her right shoulder. "There. Happy?"

Nuzzling her head closer towards my neck, she let out a contented sigh. "Very."

"Hey, no fair! Paimon wants some too!"

"Alright, alright, come here you little fairy."

Spreading her arms wide, she hugged both of our heads from the side while letting out happy giggles throughout.

When the hug started going into the one minute mark, I had to break it off, before Paimon suffocated me to death.

Though I wouldn't say it out loud, having moments like these makes me very happy. Reminds me of the good old times when life was so much easier.

Something that I'll never get back.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

While Paimon was busy explaining her knowledge of Teyvat to Lumine, I saw a familiar green bard approaching us. Judging by the disappointment plastered all over his face, it's safe to say that the sisters of the church don't believe his claim at all.

'Shame. Would've been nice to get it the easy way, but oh well.'

"Let me guess, Venti, they don't believe you at all, do they?"

Lumine and Paimon, realizing that Venti has returned, stopped their discussion and looked towards the green bard. Letting out a snort, Venti crossed his arms on his chest, his frustration clear for us to see. "Hmph! How dare they not recognize me, I even showed them my power and everything. I don't get it!"

"Oh wow, very surprising. Totally did not see this coming at all, no."

"Shut up."

Venti started rapidly tapping his foot on the ground. Not being recognized probably hurt him a lot more than he lets on but can he really blame them? When was the last time he even showed himself to the public? Hundreds of years at the very least? I'd be surprised if anyone, with a few exceptions, even recognized him.

"What are you going to do, then?" Lumine asked, as she walked to my side and clasped my right hand in her left. "Since you can't ask for it from the church, are you going to try asking the Acting Grand Master instead?"

Tapping his chin, Venti let out a hum. "I could, but I have a faster way." Pointing towards Lumine, the bard proudly declared. "You, my dear traveler, are going to help me steal it."

"Sure, why not."

"Huh?"

'This girl is turning out to be one giant mystery bag, isn't she?'

Though surprised, Venti quickly recovered. "Wow, zero hesitation huh? Great! This means I don't have to guilt trip you into doing it because you scared Dvalin away back in the forest. Nice!"

The audacity of this archon.

"Wow, this bard really has some screws loose, don't you think white mask?"

"I expect nothing less from such a frivolous personage."

Though I'm more curious about the fact that Lumine is clearly very eager to do this. Maybe calling her a swindler is not too far off the mark.

"Well then, since all of you are in agreement, meet me in the plaza in front of the church tonight. Don't keep me waiting too long!"

"I haven't even–" Before I could even say anything, Lumine grabbed my chin and pressed down my mouth area with her hand and answered in my stead. "Don't worry Venti, we'll be there."

Waving his hand goodbye, the archon began to walk away, before suddenly turning towards us. "Oh congratulations by the way. Something good must've happened while I was away." He said, as he was looking at us holding each other's hand. "Be sure to invite me to your wedding~"

"Mmmh!"

"Don't worry, we will. Right, Yuu?"

Despite her relatively small build, she is deceptively strong. Truly, you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

"Great! Oh, don't forget to serve lots of wine! I'll be looking forward to it!"

With the anemo archon finally gone, I gave a questioning glance towards Lumine and removed her hand from my mouth. Damn that hurts. "Care to explain, princess?"

"What is there to explain? I'm stopping you from making a big mistake." She put both of her hands on my shoulder, and started shaking me back and forth. "Do you know what this means? We get to steal a national treasure, commissioned by a god, no less! Do you have any idea how much fun this is?!"

"Shout that out for the whole world to hear, why don't you."

As if realizing her mistake, she started to look around, wary of any nearby eavesdropper. "Right, right. Sorry. I got a bit too excited."

"I don't think this is something to get excited about, but you do you I guess."

"You don't get it because you haven't experienced it. Think about it: the thrill of knowing that a single mistake could cost you everything, and the feeling you get after a job well done is just–" she shudders, clearly not from the wind, "exhilarating."

"You know what I think?" I moved both of my hands to her cheeks and started stretching it as far as I could. "I think you have a problem."

"Come on, don't be like that!" It's amazing how well she could speak, even in this state. "What do you think, Paimon?"

Turning towards Paimon, even I could see the skepticism written all over the little fairy about this whole thing. "I don't know, Lumine, white mask has a point."

"If you agree, I'll make Yuu treat you to a feast afterwards."

"Deal!"

"I am going to strangle you, you emergency sustenance!"

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I can't believe I let you convince me to do this."

After some more pointless argument, I eventually relented. Not that I wouldn't do it if I have to, but really, I much prefer just warning her about potential Fatui intervention and be done with it. She's more than capable of doing it herself. Though I have to admit, seeing her running around the city, frantically trying to escape the guards would've been peak entertainment had she failed.

'There's no reason to stick to the script at this point.'

Considering the changes I've experienced so far, I shouldn't be surprised if Scaramouche ended up sitting next to me in Cat's Tail.

'That would be hilarious and equally terrifying.'

Currently, the three of us are standing in front of Barbatos' statue. Looking at my surroundings, there are no signs of Venti anywhere.

"Do you think he chickened out?" Paimon asked, as she squinted her eyes, trying to spot our resident archon.

"I think it's much more likely that he drank himself to death."

It's a great thing that he's an archon. With how much he tends to drink, I'm sure his liver would've been destroyed long ago.

"Now that's just rude. I'm not an alcoholic."

Looking towards the source of the voice, we look up to see Venti sitting down on his statue's hand.

Jumping off the statue, he gently lowered himself close to us. "Besides, I don't drink that much."

"I've heard a rumor regarding a certain green bard nearly drinking the entire stock of Angel's Share. Care to explain?"

Shrugging his shoulder, the archon continued nonchalantly. "What can I say? I'm a connoisseur. It's only natural for an expert such as I to be up to date with Mondstadt's latest drinks right? Like I said–" he looked me dead in the eye, his tone as carefree as ever, "I'm not an alcoholic."

"Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that."

The four of us started walking up the stairs towards the Favonius Cathedral.

The cathedral is made out of stone with three spires: one in the back and two at the front, with the one in the back having a bell tower on top. There are three small gardens in front of the cathedral, and the building itself has three double doors, with the one in the center sandwiched between two Favonius banners.

"So, do we like, just walk in or something?"

"Yeah. The cathedral is open at night so it shouldn't be a problem. The basement on the other hand might be an issue."

Pushing open the door, we were greeted by quite the majestic interior. Marble floors, rows of pews lined up towards the podium all the way at the front, with multiple pillars propping up the cathedral. Multiple chandeliers are hanging on the roof alongside several Favonius banners. On both sides of the wall are multiple stained glasses separated with smaller pillars alongside a decorative blue banner.

Built within the wall of the stairs leading towards the organ, is the entrance towards the basement.

Which is currently opened and unguarded. No guards, no sisters, nothing.

"Or not."

"How convenient, right Yuu?" Lumine asked, with an unnatural spring in her steps.

"Yeah. A bit too convenient. There's no way the knights are this incompetent, right?"

"For once, we should be glad." Stopping in front of the basement entrance, Venti motioned for us to go. "Well, good luck travelers. I'm not really an expert at this sort of thing, so I shall be waiting for your triumphant return outside."

"So you're just going to dump us with your work, huh?"

"Dump? How crude! I merely delegated my share of work to ones a lot more experienced. Just look at her! She's certainly raring to go." He said, as he pointed at the very clearly excited blonde.

Looking towards Lumine, I can see that she's practically vibrating at the thought of robbing this place dry. Clearly, an adrenaline junkie such as her would be frothing at the mouth for a chance like this.

"Alright princess, settle down, else you end up shaking the entire cathedral with how excited you are."

"I can't help it. It's not everyday you get to steal a national treasure."

Sigh. Left unchecked, and she might just end up robbing the entire Golden House if given the chance.

'Now that is a heist I can get behind.'

"Be careful you three. Remember, I'll be waiting outside."

With Venti out of the cathedral, the three of us quietly make our way down to the basement. Admittedly, I'm having an easier time staying quiet given how I don't have to be careful with how I walk.

"It's unfair that you could just fly like Paimon."

"What can I say, the world is unfair sometimes." Shrugging my shoulder, I continued carefully manipulating the anemo energy on me. Though it's practically second nature to me, it never hurts to be extra careful. "Can you manipulate anemo energy?"

"Yes." Lifting her right hand, she made a small gust of wind as a demonstration. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, why don't you try lifting yourself up? From your legs or your entire body or whatever works for you. Theoretically anyone should be able to do it. Probably."

"I've tried before, and it's difficult to pull off." She said, as she let out a dissatisfied grunt.

"Hmph, sounds like a skill issue to me."

"Shut up."

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, we were greeted by a large well-lit chamber with guards all over the place.

"Well, at least we know where the guard probably went."

"Now this is the fun part. Come on, let's go. With this many guards, we should be careful with how we navigate these parts."

"Or I could just, you know, fly ourselves over them?"

She looked at me incredulously, before coming to a realization. "Uhm… can we not?"

"Why? What's wrong with that?" I couldn't really think of a reason not to. Was she afraid that we'll be making too much noise while flying?

"Because… where's the fun in that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Think about it. If we sneak around normally, there's the possibility of us making a mistake, thus the guard will swarm towards our position and arrest us. There's a definite risk." With that manic look on her face, she looked like a desperate saleswoman trying her absolute hardest to convince her client. "On the other hand, if you just fly over them, there's no risk, no sense of thrill, and above all else, no fun. Thus, it's better for us if you don't fly."

Wow. Just wow.

"White mask, please just carry this idiot over."

Even Paimon had enough of her stupidity, and that's saying something.

"You read my mind."

Before she could protest, I carried her in a princess carry and carefully flew myself over, making sure to stay out of the chandelier and stick to the dark areas. Meanwhile, Paimon was flying close, making sure to put both of her hands on Lumine's mouth just in case she decided to be stupid and started screaming.

Eventually, we made it to the other side, the lyre just in front of us. With Paimon moving out of the way, I gently lowered our idiot protagonist.

"Why do you both have to be such a killjoy?!" She said in a harsh whisper. At least she's aware enough of her surroundings to not scream at the top of her lungs.

"Please princess, if you want your fill of adrenaline so bad, go hunt a hilichurl camp or something. Right now, we're on the clock, so if I can do it the efficient way, why bother going the roundabout way?"

All I got in response was her pouting like a child. Sometimes I wonder how old she really is. I can't imagine the kind of shit Aether had to go through given how ridiculous this girl can be sometimes.

"Maybe next time, when the literal fate of the city doesn't hang in the balance?"

"Hmph. Fine."

Letting out a sigh, I moved to grab the lyre.

'Let's just get this over with.'

Before I could grab it though, someone else took it before me.

"What?!"

In front of us is a female mage dressed in purple, with a Fatui mask covering her eyes and two ears on her hood.

'A cicin mage, no doubt. Thankfully, I prepared for this.'

Before she could teleport, I condensed the anemo energy I've been secretly gathering on my right hand into a ball. I try to not make it too strong to kill her. After all, I don't want to be responsible for an international incident. Especially not with Snezhnaya.

Launching the ball in my hand, I aimed it towards her face.

With a bang, she was launched towards the wall, dropping the lyre in the process.

Making a run for it, I quickly grabbed the lyre, handed it over to the confused Lumine, grabbed her by her waist, and flew with Paimon in tow.

"What's that noise?!"

"It's coming from the lyre! Quick!"

Sticking to the shadows once more, I couldn't help but glance at Lumine. "There. There's your thrill, princess. Happy?!" Thankfully, I managed to tone it down. I swear this girl will one day anger me to death with sheer idiocy alone.

"Uh…."

"Exactly. Now shut up before you give us away."

When the coast was clear, we moved towards the entrance and flew up the stairs. At the cathedral, after making sure that there's no one around, we booked it to the entrance and made our way out.

"Ah, travelers. How goes the–"

Without waiting for him to finish, I grabbed him with my left hand and carried him together with Lumine. Taking off to the skies once more, I moved away from the cathedral, before making my way towards the closest windmill.

After landing properly, I put both of them down carefully and leaned myself towards the wooden railing.

"What happened? Were you caught?"

"Thankfully no."

Letting out a sigh of relief, I told Venti about the Fatui we encountered in the cathedral.

"That really was a close call." Venti crossed his arm, processing the information I've given him. "But the Fatui, huh. I wonder what they're scheming this time."

"That's for the knights to worry about. For now…" I turned towards Lumine, who was clutching at the lyre for dear life. "Lumine, please tell me you didn't accidentally crush the lyre."

"Huh?" Looking down towards the lyre in her grasp, she frantically let go of it, nearly dropping the lyre to the ground before catching it. After checking it over, she sighed in relief. "All good. Don't worry."

"Phew. Venti, please tell us this is the lyre you're looking for." Paimon, exhausted out of her mind, practically begged for an answer from the bard.

Grabbing the lyre out of Lumine's hand, he inspected it before letting out a brilliant smile.

'Stop smiling like that, for god's sake!'

"Yes it is, little one. This is definitely the lyre." At his answer Paimon visibly sagged in relief. Venti, meanwhile, turned towards me and Lumine. "Thank you dear travelers, I couldn't have done this without your help."

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome."

"That's all for today, travelers. I'll be restoring the anemo energy for this little thing, and it'll probably take a while. In the meantime, do take some time to rest. You definitely deserve it." After checking it over once more, Venti bade us farewell before jumping down the windmill and gently lowering himself down.

The three of us remained quiet, content with simply basking under the moonlight alongside the cold breeze of the night.

"Killjoys, the both of you."

Until this girl decided to open her mouth.

Trying my best not to shout at her face, I laced my mouth with as much sarcasm I could muster. "You're welcome, Lumine. I do appreciate you expressing your gratitude for me saving us from having to deal with some Fatui nonsense."

"...sorry."

At least she's aware that she's being stupid about it. Maybe. I can only hope.

"Sigh. Just… don't do it again, yeah?"

After that, the two of us went quiet. Sitting myself next to her, I held both of my knees together with my hands and leaned my back on the windmill, passing the time by watching the stars in the night sky.

"I still think you're no fun though."

Clearly, my expectation of her is too high.

Laying my head on my legs, I couldn't help but sigh. "Fuck me."

"Maybe later."

"Shut your mouth."