1 Chapter 1: 'New World' [Revised]
A boy who looks like a 15-year-old-boy is lying on a bed in a hospital room. It wouldn't be accurate to say the boy is sleeping; his eyes are closed as he contemplates something..
Unknown boy : 'Hi everyone I am Edmund Hart. Wait, should I say I am Severus Snape? Because now I am Severus Snape after I transmigrated into Harry Potter World. Now I am 100% sure you all are confused what is happening here. Let's start the story from beginning.
In previous world my name was Edmund Hart and I was an orphaned and I grew up in an orphanage. But my life was not that difficult because my orphanage's owner Lutfana loved all the children in my orphanage as her own. I had Super-high level talent in video gaming and I used that talent in a proper way, By 'proper way,' I mean that I became a video game blogger at the age of 14. In 5 years I became world's top 1 no. video game blogger. I had a huge fan base.
Let's go to the main story plotline. One day, my number one fan named 'CreatorOfAllUnivers,' who had been following my video game blogs since day one, sent me a video game link to play and gave me challenge that I could not achieve highest achievement of this game. Like other gamers, I couldn't turn down this challenge; I enjoy challenges.
But I had say I never faced that level of difficult challenge. You want to know why I said that? Because I have to complete the game without any bloodshed to achieve the highest level of achievement in this game. Yes like you after seeing this condition first question comes to my mind that 'how is that possible' and 'how can I complete a war game without any bloodshed' and 'why is this war game so much different than other war games'.
Nevertheless, I didn't lose hope and after numerous attempts, I finally achieved the highest level in the game. I was elated to accomplish this feat because at first I felt like I had done some kind of miracle because I completed a war game without any bloodshed which is impossible and I was proud of myself for making the impossible possible.
When my excitement subsides a little, I message my fan and tell this news. His reply was immediate as if he had been waiting for me…'
[Flashback start]
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "I never thought you could make the impossible possible. I'm sorry you didn't believe then so I want to give you a gift. I want to give you two wishes. If you have any request, I will fulfil it as you wish and there is no limit to what you want. For example, if you want to transmigrated into your favourite world as your favourite character for a vacation, immortality or become richest person of world anything you want I will fulfil But remember I will fulfil only two of your wishes so think before asking for anything."
[Flashback end]
Edmund : 'This message made me laugh because I never realized my top fan is a crazy person who has read so many stories and started thinking he is a god. I thought I might as well have some fun with this crazy guy but I didn't know then that I was about to make the biggest mistake of my life.'
[Flashback start]
Edmund : "Are you serious? Are you a real God?"
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "Yes, I am serious. No I am not God. I am the creator, God is created from me, everything you see is created from me."
Edmund : 'Oh my God, this fan of mine is so crazy and funny, hahaha. I can't stop myself from laughing. I will show these messages to Edina when she comes from college, I am sure she will not stop laughing after reading these messages.'
Edmund : "But how can I believe you are the creator?"
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "You can ask for anything, and if I can fulfill that wish, then it will prove that I am true."
Edmund : "Okay, self-proclaimed Creator. Can you tell me a little more about 'transmigrating into your favorite world as your favorite character for a vacation'?"
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "You have read many transmigration stories, like the hero of that story, you can also transmigrate to your favourite world, but it is as a vacation, as many people go to their favourite places on vacation. That is, when you die in that world, you will return to your current world, like those who go on vacation return home after vacation. Don't worry the time you will leave this world for vacation and the time you come back after vacation will be same. I don't want to disturb your current daily life."
[Flashback end]
Edmund : 'Like you, the only thing that came to my mind when I read that message was that this fan of mine wrote this message after being heavily drugged. I also decided to have a little more fun with this crazy.'
[Flashback start]
Edmund : 'So this fan is not only crazy but also drug addicted. I am laughing reading these messages after a long time I got such entertainment. Let's have more fun.'
Edmund : 'But what should I wish? There are many things I want like 'become world's richest person', then I don't have to work and I can spend more time with Edina. But if that fan is a bank robber, and they give me the stolen money, but then the police show up at my house the next day to arrest me for bank robbery. So I can't wish for money.
Then what should I wish? Immortality? But what do I do with immortality? If that fan is a psycho-killer and kills me so I become a disembodied immortal soul. Then immortality is out of options.
So superpowers? But what to do with superpowers? I want to be a superhero or a supervillain. Why am I wasting time considering these options? That fan isn't actually a creator; he won't fulfill my wishes. But now I know what I truly want. I'm certain that those wishes can't be fulfilled because they're completely impossible in reality.'
Edmund : "I have decided what I want. As my first wish I want to be transmigrated into Harry Potter World as Severus Snape. As my second wish I want Million Times Crit System with Safety Mode Function."
Edmund : 'Hahahaha let's see how you self-proclaimed creator fulfil my these wishes.'
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "Are you sure you want these wishes?"
Edmund : "Yes I am 100% sure. Can you fulfill these wishes?"
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "Yes I can fulfil these wishes of yours. But I am warning you this Harry Potter World is not like your world's Harry Potter movie and this world is more dangerous than Harry Potter movie. So I ask again, do you want to transmigrate to that world?"
Edmund : "Yes I want to transmigrated into Harry Potter World as Severus Snape."
CreatorOfAllUnivers : "Okay but that world is very dangerous and I want to give you a good vacation. So I am giving you an assistant who will help you in many situation, in doubt clearing and in decision making. I hope you have a happy journey and happy vacation."
[Flashback end]
Edmund: 'After reading this message I blacked out and when I regained consciousness I found myself lying on the bed covered in blood and my whole body feels great pain as if my body has hit by truck. Next to me, people were running around worriedly, making arrangements to treat me. I could hear a familiar cry. Then I blacked out again.
It's been two weeks since this happened and I'm still lying in a hospital bed, but first I had full bandages, now all the bandages have been removed. This is my memory of the first two weeks after coming to Harry Potter World.
Besides, there have been a few other incidents this fortnight, but I don't know which one to mention first and yes I have transmigrated into Harry Potter World as Severus Snape. That confirms the fan was telling the truth about being the creator. It hurts my heart to think that I missed such a golden opportunity and I could have asked for better.'
Unknown voice : 'SEVERUS Who the hell are you talking to? There is no one here. Has my Lord sent me to a madman?'
Severus : 'I am not talking to the wind like crazy. I was talking to the readers of my story so that they don't have any difficulty in understanding the story.'
Unknown voice : 'Reader of your story?'
Severus : 'Yes, my story 'The Tale of A Foolish Transmigrator Who Transmigrated Into Cheap Fanfiction World of Harry Potter Written By A Cheap Author' and I was just trying to give brief background of my story to my readers so that they don't have any difficulty in understanding the story but you interrupted me.'
Unknown voice : 'Now I am 100% confirm that my lord sent me to a madman. Severus don't panic I know you're stressed out that's why you're talking like crazy.'
Severus : 'I'm not panicking and I'm not stressed either. You've helped me a lot in this past two weeks and cleared a lot of doubts in my mind.
Look, I forgot to introduce you to the readers, so I'm saying don't disturb me, so much has happened in the last two weeks, so I think I have to tell the readers otherwise, how will they understand.
The person who was just called me crazy is my assistant, 'Nari'. If anyone wants to know what she looks like then there is bad news and the bad news is that I don't even know what she looks like but her voice is sweet.
She is connected to my mind so we are talking in my mind. For some reasons she can't appear in physical form in this world. When I first found out she was connected to my mind I was very afraid that she would try to mind control me or read my mind.
But she swore to her Lord that she wouldn't do these things to me. Then my fear subsided a little because what I've learned in these last two weeks is that she loves and respects her lord very much. So I think she will not swear by her Lord and tell a lie. Yes, I am not a gullible person, I would believe in her because of just this reason but I believe in her because I feel she is not lying and she truly wants my best.'
Nari : 'So, you won't cease talking like a madman? I'm fortunate you've retained this level of intelligence. You're chattering in your mind. If you were speaking aloud like a madman, the girl sleeping beside you would undoubtedly realize your eccentricity.'
Severus : 'How did I forget her? She is one of the most interesting discoveries I made after coming to this new world.'
Severus turned his gaze toward the girl, lost in this thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~∆~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note :
Following KaratePepe's suggestion, I've broken up the lengthy paragraphs in Chapter 1. Additionally, I've made some edits to enhance readability. How does this revised version of Chapter 1 resonate with you? Do you spot any errors that need attention?
❗❗IMPORTANT QUESTION: Should I break up long paragraphs in the second chapter as well? I value your opinion, as I want to create an exceptional fanfiction.❗❗
English is my third language and I am a new writer. So I am sure there are many errors in my story and I will be very happy if you help me to fix those errors.
If you like my story don't forget to give POWERSTONE. This POWERSTONE will motivate me more to write this story. The next chapter will be published on Monday.
If you have any suggestion you can share it here.
If I like that suggestion then I will add that suggestion to my story and mention his/her name in the story who will give that suggestion.
Last question, which girl do you think Severus and Nari are talking about?
