I got kidnapped by a bunch of cosplayers thanks to my spam

Everything started thanks to something stupid, like most of my mistakes do… like that one time when I was a kid and I cracked my little neighbor head open because I was playing with a chain, like a literal metal chain, I guess I think I was playing being a helicopter? Well doesn't matter now, the point is I did something stupid…

I entered into my spam mail… basically I got tired of having more than 3 thousand mails in my cellphone notification but when I was about to delete all non-read mails. A friend of mine challenged me to his game "Spamming Shots" basically it was a stupid game were basically having a pro subscription to an antivirus you try to get your old laptop so full of virus it get a blue screen of death the longer it takes you the more shots you have to take (one shot every 10 mins) basically it was an excuse to get drunk af. But my mate was filthy rich with an old laptop he wants to get rid of and I have a bunch of spam so I said fuck it, I guess it would be fun getting drunk while laughing at ridiculous spam.

The first hours everything was normal stuff like mail chain, dick enlargement pills, porn pages. etc.. while we were getting the computer slow it was basically doing nothing, because most of the virus I clicked were almost immediately caught by the antivirus, (I guess what he actually wanted actually was checking how good this antivirus is)

Then after 3 hours we decided to down the alarm from 10 minutes to 5 we weren't really getting drunk, between hour 5 and 7 he apparently passed out because when I found a survey that actually looked interesting and turned to ask his opinion he was already sleep

So I started the survey myself, basically it was a plot for a character either for a videogame or a shitty fanfic were the author wanted to make his mc op but not so immediate op because he wouldn't be the original protagonist, he would be a transmigration onto the teacher of the original fandom protagonist and his golden finger would actually be techniques, no system no bullshit luck plot, no nothing the protagonist apparently at the beginning of the of the story the protagonist would meet a goddess that would give him a chance to choose the 5 techniques from whatever he wanted, and then it gave an example "While you for example can't get the Gamer system you can totally wish for 5 techniques that combined would be pretty similar to it like 1 technique that after being trained to certain point would give you Gamer`s Body or Mind, Another technique that creates Dungeons with loot, Something so you can have Stats etc…

Then it explained that I had to fill what would be what I would choose…

Tbh I was pretty drunk but it was still something that made me think and in my drunkenness I suddenly wanted to answer it seriously so I started to research some of my favorite techniques that I liked either from canon or fanfiction

The First one was the easiest, because I recently ended this fanfic so I choose this one

1 Naruto`s version of Eight Inner Gates from "A Change From Memories By: Redsnowball"

I mean it basically made Naruto the dumb kid into a mini Minato with only the First Gate opened

The second One made me Think about what other technique were cool from fanfic because They have the greatest ideas, till I remember one that was op but not in the sense of op because of power but on the sense of "Holy shit this is actually way more useful that I thought"

2 Chakra Gates from "NinjaWizard: Adventures of Harry Potter, Dimensional Traveler"

This one is basically a Senjutsu version of Avatar but even better because it actually makes you a sage, the technique not only solves all your traumas and makes you a better person but after being through it you can basically improve at everything else you focus on, because you will never have self-doubts or problems to concentrate, the only side effect is that you temporally don't have earthly attachments on the last exercise, and thus giving you a huge respect for all lives, making it harder to kill your enemies, you can still do it but you will basically have to convince yourself, that its actually better for them to be killed than alive

The other three were blanks, I have the general idea but it actually made them google them to be 100 percent sure of my choices

3 Compilation ability from "The Library of Heaven's Path"

I mean a technique that let you manually how to compare, analyze and compile like the Library from Heavens Path is op, no more points needed

4 Kryptonian Torquasm from Dc Comics

Torquasm is the Best Meditation Technique Ever, no doubts about it. If you don't believe me just search Torquasm vs Ultra Instinct

5 A Technique whose peak is similar to Ultimate Skill God of Void Azathoth from I reincarnated as a slime with all of its abilities both in the present and discarded in the past to create the skill that it is

(Basically this is a cheat to give me techniques to train both Predator and Great sage in the long term gaining Azatoth)

Next thing I know when I blinked suddenly I wasn't in our room anymore, I realized fast because it was like 4 am, but now, I'm in the sun in the middle of the day, I'm in a Roof, with arches and trees, and I had a hand on my hair, I also feel shorter I went from 6′ 5″ to 5′ 11″, but kind also feel way better than before, I mean no neck pains, my back feels great, and I don't have uncontrollable itches either, I stopped touching my hair and take a look to my hand… is this chalk?

And what's up with my vision it's like I have just one eye, I also feel weird like slowly getting more tired the more time passes…

Suddenly the noise of a door alerts me, I turned to look to these three weird cosplayers and then I feel like reflexes started taking over, because I feel like I started watching a cinematic instead of me controlling my body

"Well, let's begin with introducing yourselves" I said

"What do you want to know?" said the girl cosplaying as Sakura (really? Sakura? of all the Characters you can cosplay, you choose Sakura?)

I started talking again, without realizing "How about your likes, dislikes, your dreams for the future and things like that?"

I then finally realize than I'm just an spectator, I'm probably just high af in a dream were I'm Kakashi Hatake and I have to go through the presentation scene of the manga

After a scarily accurate presentation compared with the manga, it I appears I had more to do because I guess I body flickered to my Apartment?

And now I'm starting to doubt....

(AHHHHHH) I Suddenly got blasted with a bunch of information at the same time, and well i basically passed out in my bed with a porn book in my hand