9 Chapter # 9

He moved closer and held my chin. Indulging each moment, he lifted my chin and snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me close. I let out a gasp as I looked at his eyes; clouded by crepuscular feelings.

Time passes slowly as if it has stopped. He moved closer and our lips brushed against each other. My dried lips made contact with his delicate lips as he kissed me. My first kiss to a guy who is almost a decade older than me.

My first kiss to a person who doesn't love me...

The kiss started with delicacy but held no emotions. He moved his experienced lips tenderly and dazzlingly. But when he kissed me and I stood still; frozen as a tear threatened to fall but I didn’t let it.

His hand cupped my cheek to deepen the kiss- or I thought so. He wiped the tear that was present on the corner of my eye and pulled away.

What the- Does it even matter when I have sold myself?

For a second I thought it was love but I know it better than anyone else that love is impossible in this toxic marriage, it is based on fulfilling each other's desires, nothing more, nothing less.

A feeling of heartbreak that my first kiss is without any love took over me.

He slowly pulled away and looked at me with a glint of sympathy.

The sympathy of pushing me in the abyss? Or sympathy for what he'll do to me? I don't know..

He backed away but his hand was fixed on my waist. We turned to the crowd which was filled with cheer and the sound of applause. As for me, I am anything but happy...

We walked down as I wrapped my arm around his arm to show that we are a happy couple. To hide that agony inside me.

We smiled as we walked. As we were walking I whispered, "Isn't there any relative of yours?" He said without looking at me, "No."

I looked at him with pity that he doesn't know how sweet relations are, they made you do something you never thought you would; Just like in my case.

I looked away as he let go of me and I gave my mother a final hug.

I began to cry, who knows when I'll feel that warmth again. I slowly pulled away and wiped my tears. Mother kissed my forehead and said,

"May you have a blessed married life."

I looked down as her words pierced my heart. Why is she saying such heartbreaking things?

I didn't dare to meet her gaze again as I walked towards Christian and stood beside me.

“Please take care of my daughter,” Mama whispered to him.

“Promise me.” She said desperately but he looked away.

“I have stopped making promises.” He mumbled.

“Please.” She whispered.

“I believe we both are aware of the context of our marriage.” He spoke coldly before moving away. I remained silent knowing it’s no use to think or talk anymore.

We walked out and he put his hand on my waist again, burning me in anguish.

“Whenever, however, wherever I want and you signed to not resist.” He reminded me about our contract.

“I know. You don’t have to tell me.” I replied, not meeting his gaze with lamentation building in my heart.

He walked with his head high, His superior glory; pride. We walked toward the limo and my heart skipped a beat by each step I took closer. I was filled with extreme apprehensions of what might happen to me.

My mind lost its senses as I was filled with consternation. My body began to quiver as truly terrific thoughts filled me. Losing myself in those horrific thoughts that made my soul leave my body.

My heart stopped as I felt like I was dead for a moment when we reached his home. We both got out- I lost strength.

I stopped outside the entrance of hell.

What have I done?

The entrance of an eternal reality that has nothing but despair for me, nothing but the feeling of being a toy. Almost losing consciousness, I took a step and I thought that my heart would burst from beating that fast.

My numb form walked behind him as he stopped and looked at me. My heart skipped a beat as I curled my toes to calm myself a little but no matter what I do, I can't calm down in his pernicious presence.

"Gwen will be your personal servant, if you need anything, tell her." He said and motioned towards her.

I exchanged looks from Gwen and then said, 'okay'. He then continued to walk and I followed him. By each step, I feel like the tears I held back so far will fall and I'll lose my senses. My lips were trembling.

We climbed stairs as he led me through a corridor and then turned left. I carefully looked around so that I might not get lost in that castle- I mean mansion.

Finally, after stopping in front of a room he opened it and motioned me to come in first. I shuddered in fear when I walked past him. I lifted my gaze and saw a room even bigger than my house.

The room was beautifully decorated. A lavishing room. A master bed in the middle and a chandelier hung in the middle. Some plants in the corner. A portrait of him on the wall. Furniture worth more than I can imagine.

I squeaked when I heard the sound of the door being closed and locked.

"Welcome to this Toxic Marriage..."

I looked at Christian, who was looking at me with a ravish look. My body lost its strength as I lost myself in those dark eyes filled with thick fog of lust.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and put my hand over my chest and took a step back in terror. Nothing has started yet and I was defeated by his looks. The dread is much more than I have anticipated, I don’t think I can bear it. .

His lips curved upward, amused by my action. He walked closer and stood in front of me, I can bet the loud thumping sound of my heart can be heard by him. A cold sweat rolled down from my forehead to my cheek then to my neck and I dug my nails in my palm to console myself.

This awful feeling of being helpless in his presence filled me. The hopelessness that I can't do anything but to comply with his every desire made me shiver.

He looked at me and under the presence of his menacing gaze, I was crushed like an ant.

He watch me closely and then spoke up,

"Well now you don't have any objections to me touching you, do you? Mrs Elvis?"

His words are filled with mockery. He liked looking at my inferior form. Laced with scorn, He loved breaking my tranquil and startling me in dread.

Just from that, my mind is stirring and my vulnerable form can feel that trepidation which is beyond my capabilities to bear. He put his hands in the pocket of his pants and continued to look at me.

“What happened? Why are you startled? You should have been prepared. This is what you signed for after all.” He smirked, scanning my form.

After a second, His amusement was replaced by his anger and a fierce emotion that can cause irreparable damage to me. His shrewd gaze made my petite form shudder. “Then drop this act of innocence.”

“What do you expect?” I asked back, not lifting my head.

“Ah, first time, hmm?” He smirked, reaching my proximity but I remained silent.

"When I ask you something, You will answer." He ordered in a deadly tone. I gasped and replied quickly in apprehension of might happen if I refuse, "I don't have any objections."

My shaky lips somehow manage to speak without stuttering. I didn't dare to lift my gaze and met his sinister one.

Filled with those intense emotions that cause me extreme agitation; I heed absolute obedience to him when his heartless whisper came,

“Exactly. You cannot push me away now… You will satisfy all my desires without resistance now.”

Gulping hard, all I could give him in response was a nod. Liking my subjugation, His previous amused looks came back.

For a second I thought that I am here for his recreation not for his desires. In a sense, I am.

He then began to walk around me. I felt so scared under his obnoxious gaze. He completed the circle around me and stood in front of me.

"That was your first kiss, wasn't it?"

Feeling a strong aversion for him, I replied, "Yes." I didn't dare to look in those pitch black eyes; they terrorized me.

He again started his round and this time, he stopped behind me and touched my shoulder. I shivered in fear and pulled away.

"Well, that wasn't part of the contract." He sneered as I let out an unstable voice,

"I-I won't do it again."

Feeling odium by his touch, I still let him do what he pleases. I felt his fingers in my hair as he unpinned the clips and let my hairs fall on my back as well as the veil to fall on the ground. “P-Please..”

I shut my eyes and continued to tremble under that sharp gaze. Then he moved my hair to one side and leaned in as he whispered in my ears, "You better never will."

I shuddered in dread when his breath formed goosebumps all over my skin. But being irritated by the sound he moved his hand to my lower abdomen and pulled me close. I shrieked when I made contact with his muscular chest.

“I have the right to touch you.” He smirked. Another feeling of being tainted filled me.

“ 'You' gave me this authority, Dear.” He moved closer as I felt his breath on my neck and he moved his other hand slowly to my shoulder then to my hand and then back again to my shoulder gently.

“And you will satisfy my desires from now on.”

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