The Funny Crusaders

"You can't leave me too…" A girl's sniffling voice roused Lauri from his slumber. "There's so much happening… I don't know what I'm supposed to do without you…"

Blinking open his eyes, Lauri looked up at a ceiling he didn't recognise

The light was shining into the room from an open window, the faint sound of birds and cards carried through with the breeze

The girl began to sob, "Lauri… Why would you lie to me… And leave me, too." 

Looking down, Lauri saw a young girl, his little sister Elza. Picking his hand up, Lauri felt his body strain from the effort. Resting his hand on Elza's head, Lauri spoke. "Hey, hey, you know I always keep my promises."

Lifting her head, Elza blinked. "Lauri!" Jumping on him, Elza caused Lauri to wince as she pressed on his stomach. "I knew you'd never leave me, never ever, eveeerrrrrr, you did make a promise after all, I knew you'd never break your promiseeee."

Lauri squinted at his little sister. Smiling, he softly shook his head, "Hmm, but you were just telling me about how I lied to youuuu."

"Uh uhhh." Burying her head into Lauri's chest, Elza rubbed it from side to side.

"Hey hey hey!" Lauri exclaimed, grabbing Elza, Lauri tried to pick her up. "Careful, I'm recovering here. You don't want my wound to open up again, do you."

"Wound?" Looking up, Elza cocked her head to the side. "What wound?"

"My, my chest wound? I was stabbed in the chest, it's why I'm in hospital?" Pulling up his shirt, Lauri stared at his chest. No wound, no bandages, not even a scar.

"Lauri, are you okay? You're in for mana exhaustion, you know, the thing that happens when your body runs out of mana and begins to drain your life force. You're the Hunter, bro, you should know thisssss."

Touching his chest, Lauri traced his skin with his fingers where Zoleil had stabbed him.

"Mana exhaustion you say…" Lauri absent-mindedly spoke, "How, my skills are nowhere near strong enough to cause that."

"I see I've found you at a good time."

Lauri and Elza looked to the open. A man wearing a black suit stood smiling, one hand on the door, the other holding a folder.

Walking into the room, the man smiled at the two siblings. "Might I have a word in private with you, Lauri? There are somethings that need to be discussed."

Sitting up, Lauri eyed the man who had suddenly appeared in his hospital room. "In private? Who are you?"

"Oh haha, right, right. Sorry," Reaching into his pocket, the man produced a card. "My name is Lance, hey both our names start with l what a coincidence." He held the card out to Lauri. "I'm from the Awakened Association, I had come to check in on you regarding the…" Lance frowned, looking at Elza, he looked back to Lauri, his tone dropping. "Incident."

"What incident," Elza looked to Lauri worried. "Is this to do with the dungeon accident?"

Lauri felt a sense of despair run down his spine. Patting Elza's head, Lauri tried to smile. "Ssh, shh, it's nothing to worry about I'm just it's just formalities. But can you stand outside for a minute Elza, we need to use adult worlds, and I'd hate to fry your baby brain." Lauri teased as he ruffled his little sister's hair.

Elza grabbed Lauri's hand, trying to stop him, "I'm not a babyyy." Finally getting free from Lauri's hand, Elza hopped off of the bed. "I'll wait outside…" Running to the door, Elza stopped, sticking her tongue out at Lauri. "But not because you told me too!" 

Lance chuckled watching Elza leave the room, "Your sister seems like quite a spirited one."

Lauri looked down at his hands as he slightly smiled. "She has her moments." Sighing, Lauri covered his eyes with his hands. "What is it you came to talk to me about, Mr Lance?"

Lance's face took on a solemn expression, pulling up a chair. Lance rested the folder on his legs. "I have been sent to deal with the manner of the Excursion. To get a first-hand statement," He held up a voice recorder. "Of what happened inside the Dungeon and to deal with the last will of the Guild master of the Funny Crusaders, Marcus Veng. Is that okay?"

Hearing Marcus' name, Lauri's fingers tightened around his face as he held back the urge to cry. "That- that is okay."

Lance nodded, starting the voice recorder, Lance held it between Lauri and himself. "First, the matter of the Excursion. Do you know what an Excursion is?"

Gritting his teeth, Lauri let go of his face, wiping his wet eyes on his hospital gown. "An excursion is when a creature that does not belong to a dungeon crosses into it somehow. Something about how its mere presence raises the rank of the dungeon."

"That is correct, this monster wiped out your party, is this true?"

Lauri nodded.

Lance picked up one of the pieces of paper, he read it aloud. "An alarm was raised when your party never reported the Gate's closure. A B-Rank hunting party was dispatched from the Awakened Association as the Gate was nearing its estimated breaking point. Upon arriving at the site of the gate they immediately reported it as a glowing gold, signifying an Excursion had occurred within the gate, an A-Rank hunting party was immediately dispatched with a request sent to one of the major guilds for S-Rank support."

Lauri squinted, 'The Association reached out to the big guilds? Those guys aren't well known for working with the Association.'

Lauri spoke the next words in disdain. "Not that any of the major guilds even bothered responding, they were probably waiting for a dungeon break to occur so they could swoop in and make a payday."

Lauri nodded along, 'That sounds more like them.'

Shaking his head, Lance continued. "Entering the Gate with ten minutes remaining, the A-Rank hunting party had no trouble clearing out the C-Rank dungeon. As it turns out, they could not find a trace of what had caused the excursion… But the remains of your team were located, and your unconscious body was located a small distance away from them."

Exhaling, Lance put the piece of paper away. "So, Lauri. Can you please explain to me what happened after you entered the dungeon?"

Fiddling with his fingers, Lauri spoke. "We had just gone in. We were probably inside for, five, ten minutes. We were just walking through the darkness when it attacked. It threw a spear from the darkness and… and killed Chester, our mage. After that, we were immediately on the defensive, which is when we saw those, crystal bugs."

Lance raised an eyebrow, "Crystal bugs?"

Lauri nodded, "Yes, Carolynn mentioned something about dual-Dungeons. Isn't that when two dungeons form on top of each other? I guess I kind of assumed that was what happened."

Lance shook his head. "The hunting party reported back that the Dungeon that your party entered was a standard goblin Dungeon with a Shaman playing the role of the Dungeon boss. After the Shaman was killed, the Dungeon began collapsing."

"Well, they didn't really do much. We tried to push them back, but they just kept coming… Which is when Elbert ran. I think he got scared, they just kept coming and he tried to run. That's when the skeleton got him."

Lance, "It was a skeleton?"

Lauri thought for a second, "Yes? It had a skull as a head, but it wore knight armour and a robe. It was like some kind of, undead magic knight. In its left hand, it held this, book and it kept casting spells… It used those spells to kill my party, my new friends."

"Lauri." Lance moved off of his chair slightly so he could get closer to Lauri. "Are you okay?"

Lauri looked at Lance, confused. "Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

Lance frowned, "You haven't noticed? You're crying so much."

Lauri blinked, raising a hand he pressed it against his cheek, met with wetness Lauri tried to wipe it away. Using both of his hands, Lauri tried to wipe his tears away, but they just kept coming, and coming and coming.

Lance pulled a handkerchief out of one of his suit pockets. "Take this," He offered it to Lauri.

Lauri took Lance's offer, wiping his eyes, Lauri dryly laughed. "I- I'm sorry, I don't know what's going on, I don't usually cry like this."

Lance shook his head, "It's understandable. Losing your entire party, almost dying yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, I can give you the number for-"

"No." Lauri clenched his fists. "I'm fine."

Seeing Lauri's expression, Lance nodded. "I understand. The appearance of a magic-wielding skeleton, that is a new one, and that explains the… Passing of the members of the Funny Crusaders. I have one more question regarding the excursion for you, Lauri. You were found passed out due to extreme mana-exhaustion. How did this occur?"

Lauri blinked, "Mana-exhaustion." He muttered.

"I'm sorry?" Lance leant forward, "I didn't quite catch that."

"I was stabbed," Resting his fingers where Zoleil had stabbed him. Lauri shuddered as the memory flashed through his mind. "The skeleton stabbed me, and I was bleeding out…"

Lance looked at the notes in his folder. "Stabbed, stabbed, stabbed. Are you certain? Your hospital records say nothing about a stab wound, only mana-exhaustion. Is there anything else that happened, did you use a healing potion?"

Lauri tried to think over what happened. "I- I saw a cat."

Lance stared at Lauri, "A- a cat?"

Lauri nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, a cat. It said something about changing my fate? And it also said some weird percentages. I'm not quite sure why." He shrugged. Lauri looked back at Lance, who was giving him a strange expression.

"I, I see. You seem to still be recovering from your mana-exhaustion, it's understandable, hallucinations are a common facet of their illnesses. I will finish this up." Lauri was about to argue that he was sane until Lance pulled out a new piece of paper. "To do with what will be done with the Funny Crusaders Guild."

Lauri froze, other than Elza, he had no family. Lauri's parents died during the first mass Dungeon break, Lauri was taken in by his uncle and auntie, a few years later Lauri's auntie gave birth to Elza. Elza's birth her parents were killed in a hit-and-run five years after that.

Lauri never had any time to make friends, having taken part-time jobs after school to pay for his sister, dropping out of school the moment he could take on more shifts at his jobs to support his sister through school and on his nineteenth birthday, Lauri had his first awakening.

As an F-Rank Hunter.

The Funny Crusaders Guild had become Lauri's new family, if only for a week.

Lance cleared his throat. "Allow me to read out what Marcus has written, 'in the event of my death, the title of Guild master for the Funny Crusaders will be passed onto the next most senior guild member. I have no family myself, so I also give my flat to the next most senior guild member, I am sure they will put it to good use.' There is more here, but that is the important part for today."

Lauri blinked, "Does that, does that mean what I think it means?" He questioned.

"Congratulations, Guild master of the Funny Crusaders. What a name, I wonder what the story behind it is." Lance slightly chuckled.

Lauri's fingers curled around his hospital gown as he tried to not cry. Seeing this, Lance leant forward, resting a hand on Lauri's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll do them proud, Lauri-" Lance's phone started buzzing in his pocket. Pulling it out, he checked the caller ID. "Oh, one second, sorry. I should take this, it might be important." Standing up, he stepped away.

'Is this okay, I was only a member for a week… And now the Guild is mine… I want to do you all proud, but, what can I do? I'm just a shitty F-Ranker. I have nothing to my name, my skills aren't worth shit!' Lauri grit his teeth. 'Open skills.' A system Screen opened in front of Lauri's eyes, displaying the skills he owned. 'How am I supposed to do anything with their legacy with these shitty ski-' Lauri's tirade against himself abruptly stopped as he saw his skills.'

[Skill list:

S-Tier: Sub-space Inventory

B-Tier: Forced Inventory

B-Tier: Expel From Inventory]

Lauri was barely able to move, "S-S-S-S-Tier-" Lauri couldn't help but stutter. "Wh-wh-wh-when, when did this happen-" He squeaked, interrupted by overhearing Lance's conversation.

"You realise I only answered this call because I thought it would be important, if I knew you were going to tell me to turn on the news I would have thrown my phone out the window. Why would I turn the news on, what do you mean, of course, I'm not watching the news, I'm working. You should get off the news and get back to your work- Ugh, fine, fine, I'm doing it if it'll shut you up." Moving his phone away from his ear, Lance looked at Lauri. "Hey Lauri, is it okay if I turn the news on for a minute."

Still barely able to speak, Lauri just nodded.

"Thanks," Putting his phone back to his ear, Lance picked up a remote, pointing it to the TV he clicked it on. "Yeah, yeah, I'm doing it."

The TV screen crackled to life, and with it, the female voice of the news presenter began to speak.

"Breaking news, a large structure has appeared within the city park." Live video footage from a news helicopter appeared on-screen. A large tower-like structure stuck out of the ground, rising so high into the sky it passed through the clouds. "This tower appeared, reports say an excursion had occurred at the site of the tower's appearance within the last twenty-four hours, but it is unknown if this is related. The Awakened Association has been contacted, but we have yet to recieve-"

Lance muted the TV, "Yes, yes, I'm watching it. What is this thing, do we know?"

The words escaped Lauri's mouth before he could stop himself. "The Tower of Tribulations."

Lance turned back to Lauri, "What did you just say?"

Lauri's knuckled went white as he grabbed a fist full of his bedding.

"That monster that killed my friends and almost killed me, it said it was doing me a mercy. As the Tower of Tribulations was soon to appear."