Prologue

Life isn't always fair, is it? Nothing comes out as planned unless it's something you can totally control. But life in general isn't easy to control. The people that enter our lives and the people that leave us whenever they want, they aren't easy to control. It's almost impossible to do it. It doesn't matter how powerful you are, how rich you are, how pretty or kind hearted you are, you can't naturally control the people in your life. I mean, you can, you can force them, but that's not what we're talking about right now. We're talking about how hard it is to see someone leave you. Like they're walking through an invisible door out your life. They're never coming back. You are probably never going to see them again in person. If you're lucky (or unlucky) enough, they appear in your dreams, in your fake scenarios that you create in your head before finally being able to sleep.

Life, with its unique experiences, amazing memories, unforgettable people, is weird. I think we can all agree to this.

Why I'm saying all this shit? I'm hurt. I can't keep caring and falling for people that don't give a fuck about me. I can't keep pretending they're different every day and they actually care for me too. Because I'm wrong.

I keep falling for people that don't even notice me. But the thing is, how can they notice me when all I do is try to make eye contact, because I'm way too shy to talk to them? I hate my shyness, man. I hate the fact that I'm just a silly introvert and I can't just talk to anybody I want. What is wrong with me? This question keeps haunting me. Will there be a day when I'm going to shoot my shot without being so afraid? Afraid of what, you're going to ask. Of nothing, I guess. There's nothing to be scared of. Just rejection maybe. Maybe I'm scared to be hurt again. Maybe I'm scared to suffer like I did back when I was in love.

When all my problems didn't matter or when I had no problems. When life didn't seem that hard and it was all fun and games. No stress, no mental issues, no demons to fight. I'd love to be able to go back in time, when I was a little innocent girl.