1 An unusual sight into love

It's an typical day in the UK, I was recently made homeless, but that's not my biggest concern. I'm midway through exams and I want to express my English skills in a way that isn't boring. I'm not an average 16 year old, I have a life of mystery that not many people are aware of. In fact, I am special.

What makes you wonder why I am special? I know you want to know, so I will tell you but you will have to keep reading...

I was born in a city called Leeds, which is situated in West Yorkshire, England. Life here isn't the best, it's always raining. It's raining as I write this, but not like you care on with the story.

Since I was little, I have always looked at girls differently to boys. I have never felt that connection with a boy nor with a girl, but I have hope at least. I dream of finding the one that makes my heart whole and I won't give anyone my heart unless I can trust them with it. I am not expecting perfection, because nobody is perfect, nobody has a* qualities. I can't expect the perfect person just to walk along and bump into me, because in reality that's not how life works. I'm hard to deal with, sleep a little too much, and a little too casual, but I have a good heart. As a school student the school setting is hardly 'romantic', it's draining for most students. Nobody wants to learn about rates of reaction (unless you are a Chemistry student). I have something I can say though, and that is Biology and Chemistry are well linked to love. Biology being the brain and all them chemicals that make you feel a certain way, and Chemistry are the chemicals themselves. Don't you find it weird how life is so complex with trillions of different functions happening within our bodies, and we have zero control. I suppose that's why love is so rare, you cannot predict when or how or why you feel like this. You cannot predict who you will fall in love with because the human mind is so complicated.

I barely have friends, I tend to be very critical in my thoughts. I tend to overthink, such as what would happen if i did this, or this, or this? I recently discovered that you can actually manipulate your feelings, and other peoples. It's horrible to say but it's true. Not like I use this as an advantage over anybody, because I don't use it against people. Psychopaths tend to manipulate others feelings, because they feel that they cannot produce their own. They are NOT emotionless, but they have a genuine advantage over the standard population because they aren't afraid, they do not experience emotion like anyone else. I get so sidetracked when i'm writing because so many ideas pop into my head, but my point I was trying to make is love can change, love can be unpredictable, and it is something that is impossible just to create.

Love is light, but can also become darkness. It can make you the happiest you have ever been, but also the saddest. It's amazing how much vulnerability is shared between two people. If you was in a relationship, the other half has the power to destroy you. This vulnerability can be exploited, this is where my critical mind prevents me from falling in love, I am so afraid of being taken advantage of. Women of today's society have been taken advantage of. Men of today's society have been taken advantage of. All because they are in love...

Love is the most powerful emotion, it keeps us entertained and human. Without love we couldn't recreate. There would be no attraction to want us to mate, there would be no fun within relationships, there would be no maternal love between mother and child. Love takes many forms, for example friendships work on love but it's a different concept entirely to a relationship. It's impossible to describe because everyone experiences love in different circumstances and ways.

The best way to describe love, is that two people share a connection, a connection that they do not share with anyone else. This is what makes love so special and unique.

Unfortunately, I learned the negatives of love from an early age. I am a survivor of domestic abuse, it wasn't my relationships that were affected, but my parents. They liked each other but it was unhealthy, they fought and verbally abused each other which led to them separating. This wasn't the end, my mother has remarried twice in her life time. The most significant marriage was to a man that had absolute control over her. This man destroyed a maternal relationship between me and my mother, all because he had the ability to manipulate her feelings. It's a significant to my life because it affects me in so many ways still today. She isn't currently with the same man, but it isn't love. Love isn't beating your wife, love isn't telling her shes worthless, love isn't cheating with not one but two different people within a 4 year marriage. I want to make a remark that this isn't acceptable, and you shouldn't be coping with this, and if you are here is a little message for you. I want you to know that you are worthy of more than this, you have the power to leave! I know it's not simple, I know you are confused, and I also know that you deserve more respect. Give your heart to someone that will cherish you, and don't stand for anything less. There is someone out there that cares, reach out to them please, tell them everything and contact your local services as they will provide more information about domestic abuse. The lack of education is the reason that women, men, children get put into dangerous situations from these troubled individuals that need addressing.

This is education. The purpose of this is to educate the public about the dark side of love. My intention isn't to persuade you to not love. My intention is to warn you that love isn't perfect as it seems, it comes with problems that sometimes can be resolved. Sometimes. You cannot fix all problems, because self reflection is needed mostly. If one cannot self-reflect on a issue, it will just remain a problem. If you don't face your problems, then you will not succeed.