14 Chapter 14: To be a Man

Beta read by Shigiya, Paragon of Awesomeness and Darklord331

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-Sainan High-

To say that his day had proceeded smoothly after this morning's fiasco… actually wouldn't be far from the truth, surprisingly enough. 

Emiya honestly expected there to be another alien fight involving the kidnapping of the girls and him fighting a weird kind of species from a different planet. That was the image of the future that Zastin alluded to when telling him of how these other fiancé candidates would eventually appear on Earth. 

Yet here he was in the middle of class, pretending to take notes about subject material he'd already learned from his math teacher while Lala peacefully slept on her desk next to him. Why was she allowed to sleep during class? 

Mostly due to the teacher having given up on teaching her anything new, from what he could tell. Whereas he was a warrior with eons of experience to provide him knowledge, the princess was a genius who solved complex equations with just a single glance and gave an answer before the teacher even finished his sentence. Their math teacher had even started to intentionally ask Lala higher level questions, all of which she answered correctly without missing a beat, and also correcting mistakes in the teacher's own calculations a couple of times. 

In the end, she was left alone and never bothered, as she was clearly beyond the teachers' ability to teach. 

"Can anyone solve this equation?" The teacher looked around, many of the students were conveniently in the middle of taking down the notes and were too busy to answer. It wasn't until the man's gaze landed on Emiya and Lala's side that he already chose his next victim. "Ah, how about you, Emi—"

"The answer is x = √6 + 1!!!" Ren instantly answered, turning around and giving Emiya a smug look as if he had beaten the redhead in both speed and problem-solving. Though his smirk froze in place as he found the boy gently pushing back the pink locks over Lala's face — making sure the girl slept comfortably without any strands irritating her nose. 

"Hehehe… thank you… Shirou." Lala whispered with half-closed eyes, her smile lighting up the room and making every boy and girl blush from the cute action. 

"Hn, you really do have a terrible sleeping posture, you idiot. Did you stay up all night again to work on your… inventions again?" 

"Yup! I know you told me to stop, but I wanted to see what went wrong with them initially. And I promise that I won't use them inside the house, intentionally." 

"It worries me why you decided to add that last part," Emiya said, quickly grabbing her left wrist as she tried to touch his hair. Their interaction was seen by everyone in the classroom, and it made many cry in jealousy with a few of the girls squealing at how cute they were, while some others were feeling jealous at Lala getting his attention. 

The math teacher on the other hand couldn't help but sigh, lamenting about how carefree young kids were these days before resuming his lesson. The students followed suit with the boys cursing the redhead's name a couple hundred times under their breath while for Ren…

"…"

He just stood there with his jaw hanging open, both ignored and forgotten with the winds blowing across his face. Lala kept trying to break that damnable Emiya's defense with her attempts at flustering him or touching his face — at some point even using her tail as a weapon which no one in class seemed to take notice of. That human dared to show an annoyed face at this, using his left arm alone to deflect and block the countless moves from his neighbor and Lala just giggled the entire time!?

"Come on~! I just want to see what Shirou looks like with your hair down. You let your sister touch your hair, so why not me?" 

"Go back to sleep, you brat." 

Did… did Lala forget that he was even there? She didn't even look towards him once since class started and the same applied to Emiya! 

'THIS ISN'T OVER!' Ren screamed in his mind. 

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"All of you boys get in line!" 

Finally, it was PE class!

Ren had thoroughly done his research about Earth's schooling system and the different classes a regular student in Sainan High would attend, and PE was one of them. From the many articles and research done by various aliens who visited the planet, apparently, female teenagers — and women in general — preferred a physically fit partner, the stronger the better. 

This paralleled the Devilukean culture quite a bit, though not nearly as intense given the human species had no inner elemental energy manipulation like many races. Coupled with their below-average physiology and lack of advancement in technology amongst other things, many species viewed them to be primitive weaklings. 

"Hehehe, with this, I'll win Lala's heart and show her once and for all that I'm the real man she's always dreamed of!"

What better way was there to prove his superiority than a race? Better yet, an endurance race where he could not only prove his greater speed but also his superior stamina. He could just see the horrified face of Emiya as he found himself struggling to keep up and ultimately failed in front of Lala's eyes with the entire school acting as witnesses! Then Lala would realize the error of her ways, the folly of being engaged to such an unmanly human and finally break up with him in favor of Ren! It was a foolproof plan, one that he was certain would succeed with ease. 

He got into place, purposefully standing right next to Emiya who was stretching his limbs. 

The redhead glanced at him for less than a second before focusing on other things. "Tch!" This pissed off Ren even further; this human's insistance at keeping up the tough, nonchalant act so as to not look intimidated by him. 

"Just you wait, I'll show you just how much faster I am." 

Emiya rolled his eyes, "And what is that supposed to achieve? As long as you're not kidnapping students or impersonating the staff, then do whatever you like, I don't care." He left the stunned boy with these words before going forward onto the tracks along with everyone else, waiting for the signal to start the run. There was neither a trace of anger nor worry in his voice, speaking to Ren as though he was just another student instead of a rival. 

"Looking sexy, Emiya! Flex those muscles!" A neck-length light brown-haired girl waved at them from the other side of the girls' group while shamelessly ogling Emiya. Her action was followed by the others sending waves of cheers to Emiya as if they were his little group of personal cheerleaders. If Ren remembered correctly, the girl was from another class; Momioka Risa. From his Intel, she and Emiya were close enough to be seen regularly together during lunch, and she had also briefly been a hostage of one of Lala's fiancé candidates who attempted to kidnap her. "If you do well then I'll give you a kiss on the cheek!" 

That elicited an outraged cry from the head of Sainan High School's Public Morals Committee. "Such shameless acts are forbidden, Momioka-san!" 

"Aw… you're no fun, Yui." 

"I want to do it as well!" A certain pink-haired Princess joined in the fun, her words being no different from a sword piercing Ren's heart, and the same went for countless boys on the field who now all glared at Emiya. 

"Hell yeah!" Risa slithered over to Lala and grasped her breasts while consciously keeping an eye on the tail. Her body instinctively moved away whenever the heart-shaped tip came closer. "I get his left cheek and you can take his right. But I know he'll be too much of a tsundere to accept it." 

"What's a tsundere?" 

"…Oh you sweet summer child, looks like Risa-sensei has a lot to teach you." 

They had gotten close, something everyone in school noticed with both Risa and Lala. Ren made sure to keep a mental note to look out for this earthling aside from Yuuki Emiya Shirou. If he played his card right, then using his superior looks and charms could lead to him roping that girl in as one of his allies to assist in conquering the Devilukean princess' heart. 

"Ready!"

Feeling confident, Ren prepared himself for the signal, his muscles tensing up as much as possible and ready to release all of that power in one fell swoop for an explosive start. 

"Get set!"

Humph, no matter how strong Emiya was, he wouldn't, couldn't, beat Ren, because he had been training for years to be the strongest and manliest possible husband for Lala!

"Go!" 

Woosh!

A dust cloud formed from Ren's explosive start. The boys in the background coughed while he laughed loudly at the increasing distance between them. "Hahahaha! Eat my dust, I'm faster than you all!" 

One lap, two laps, three and then four laps. The boy ran circles around the main group, grinning ear to ear at his dominance in the race. His legs started to burn from the strain but he persevered by finishing his fifth lap soon after. But regardless, he had taken the lead by a large margin and no one would be able to overtake him. 

'Hehehe, see that, human weakling? Now the girls will only see me as the most manl—'

"Hey Emiya, try taking your shirt off!" Risa screamed again, nearly making the alien boy fall to the ground in shock. He looked around and found the girls' attention completely glued to the redhead who continued to run at a steady pace with the rest of the boys behind him trying to keep up. "Come on. Lala! Don't you want to see his bare chest too?" 

"Eh? But I've already seen everything." Lala said quietly, having only the girls around them hear her words. 

"…"

Risa was speechless. 

Was this girl truly as innocent as she looked, or was it all an act!?

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"Um… who's that person, Nii-san?" Said Rito, one of the few students who could keep up with Emiya's pace given his regular practice in football. The younger brother noticed the arrival of a new student, one that actually caught the interest of the female population upon his arrival. Though there seemed to be a strange one-sided rivalry going on between Ren and his brother. 

So it made him wonder if they knew each other beforehand. 

"He's a nuisance," Emiya answered without missing a beat, causing Rito to laugh awkwardly at his brother's cutting remark. "He tries to compete with me in literally everything, from who can participate the most in class to an eating contest, and he even tried to follow me inside the bathroom — thankfully, Yui noticed and intercepted him just in time to drag him somewhere else." 

"Anything else you know about him?" 

"One of Lala's childhood friends. And from what she told me, the boy used to be on the receiving end of her experiments for quite a while. Now he came back to 'claim' her back or something. Wanting to become her fiancé, that kind of thing. Pretty sure all of those experiments messed up his brain" 

"Eeh!?" The younger brother gasped with surprise. "W-What are we going to do now?" To think his brother would get entangled in a love drama so early on in his life, Rito honestly never imagined that Shirou of all people would end up dealing with such scenarios. And given that he found him sleeping with Lala last morning… there was no way Ren could be allowed to succeed! He couldn't let his big brother lose the only girl that managed to keep up with him!

"What do you mean by 'we?'" Emiya asked, giving him a curious side-eye glance. "There is nothing to worry about, and even if there was, this is my problem to deal with. You and Mikan focus on your studies and nothing else." 

"B-But what if he takes Lala away from you?" Rito didn't back down and continued to ask. 

"Take her away from me… humph, you sure are a great comedian, Rito. I don't know if you've been watching too many dramas lately or because of the misunderstanding yesterday, but Lala and I aren't in any sort of romantic relationship. I'm more than happy to see her leave our home and be with someone she's fallen in love with and I would even throw a feast in their honor." Unfortunately, it looked like Lala barely even cared or acknowledged Ren's existence. A plainly obvious one-sided affection that would never get any better if Ren kept on acting like a complete jackass on top of being a whore for attention. 

Emiya only met Lala recently, but he already had what he felt was a grasp of her character. The princess didn't care whether one was strong, fast, or even intelligent — already making it pointless to impress her in such a way. If Ren wanted to win her affection, then he would need to rethink his entire plan. 

"He sure does look eager to prove himself…" Rito noted, watching the boy finish his fifth lap with vigor, though he was now covered in sweat while the rest of the group looked a bit winded at best. 

"A childish method, this is an endurance run rather than a race. He's wasting precious energy by using it all at once over nothing but to momentarily capture the attention of everyone and end up having them witness him becoming tired out and falling flat on the ground, destroying the image that he was trying to create. On top of that, the girls have started their run as well, so no one is paying him any attention. Ren's an imbecile." 

Everyone who heard him winced at Emiya's tone, but they couldn't claim that he wasn't wrong. 

"Don't you think you're being too harsh on him?" 

"Am I? Then so be it." Emiya responded with barely any care in his voice. "If common sense cannot go through his head then what avenue do I have available other than harsh reality?" 

As they resumed their focus on their run, Risa's voice came from the other side as she tried teasing Emiya and asking him to take off his shirt and give them a show. Rito and several of the girls blushed, their faces turning crimson red from the shameless words that came out of Risa's mouth soon after. Rito especially noticed that his brother didn't seem to mind or even care, keeping his cool and looked forward the entire time. 

"I'm wondering how you've not grown used to her teasing. Getting that flustered each time will make you an easy target." Emiya said with a light smirk, amused by Rito's reaction. "Even Mikan is going to take advantage of that." 

"Oi, you're no better! Both of you tease me constantly, and the reason Mikan became like that is because she takes after you the most!" 

Emiya didn't deny Rito's claim, for they were the truth. The only thing Emiya feared at this moment was for Mikan to increasingly get into a habit of mimicking his attitude that in the future she would become just like him… that would be a nightmare. 

"Hah… Hah… Hah… I…. Hah… I can do this!" Soon, he caught up to the exhausted Ren. His clothes damp from the sweat, he could barely even take another  step forward, let alone continue to run after using up all of his stamina. 

"Do you feel manly now?" Emiya asked, slowing down his pace to keep pace with Ren. He gestured to Rito to continue on forward without him. "You've garnered the attention of some of the girls. Keep this up, and you'll be popular soon." 

"You're… hah… you're mocking me!" Ren shouted, "I'm… I'm better than you! Just you wait, I'll show Lala that I'm the most suited to become her fiancé!" Too focused on uttering those words, the alien didn't pay enough attention on his run and ended up tripping. "Ah!" And he met the ground face-first.

"…"

Emiya sighed, rubbing his eyes while contemplating what to do next. 

"Listen, you're here to win Lala's heart, right?" He asked, crouching beside him and making sure that the boy hadn't accidentally broken his nose. 

"I will… and you'll not stop me!"

"Nor do I intend to." 

"Huh?" That response ended up catching Ren off guard, he expected taunts and ridicule to be spewing out of his mouth about how Lala was his and no one else's. Yet this…

"Surprised? Don't be. I never intended to become her fiancé and I'm not competing for her affection in any way. I just ended up in this situation due to some unfortunate events involving a deranged father and a clumsy sword-wielding bodyguard." He said while extending his hand. "I don't know what your plan is, but if you want to 'win' per say, then begin by vying for Lala's heart first through getting to know her better. You're supposed to be that airhead's childhood friend, so you should know what she desires first and foremost — yet your actions speak otherwise."

"Stop lecturing me! As if you know any better!" Ren wasn't going to fall for his tricks, there existed no one in this universe who would let go of the chance to marry Lala or to not hold the desire to pursue her. 

'But he is right,' a voice spoke inside his mind.

'Shut up!' 

Pa!

He slapped Emiya's hands away, getting up without his aid and dusting off the dirt clinging to his shirt. "I won't be fooled so easily. Lala is mine and I will stop at nothing to make her become my bride!" With that said, he rushed back forward, using his last bit of energy to get started on his seventh lap. 

"That idiot," Emiya started to question himself; did the aliens in this world have a hearing issue? 

In the end, Ren could barely continue competing in other sports games and activities due to his exhausted state. All of this making Emiya return to being the center of attention, much to the alien's frustration. 

***

After PE classes, Emiya and the rest returned to their respective classes. Sitting on his desk, he finished up the last of his homework for the day so as to have some free time tonight. For a Counter Guardian like him to be in a situation where one of his top priorities ends up being some easy-to-solve equations and essays was unthinkable. 

Lala was helping out Risa and Mio with some project of theirs. He didn't hear much aside from Lala talking about a leopard costume or something.

The feeling of what he was doing right now was both foreign yet hauntingly familiar. For the briefest of moments, he saw himself back in an old environment wearing a light brown uniform. The static voice of a certain monk in training ringing in the background trying to tell him something, all the while his eyes trace the end of two bits of black twin tails passing by the door. His hands stopped writing when the image of another girl flashed before his eyes, patiently waiting for him at the door like always with a perfectly innocent and gentle smile as her vibrant purple hair swayed with the wind. 

Fake memories his brain must have created to fill in the gaps, probably. Almost everything from his past had rotted away with time, so it was impossible for this to be a real memory. Or maybe it was and he just couldn't differentiate it anymore. 

'Sometimes I feel like all of this is just a dream. And at any moment I might wake up back into a barren wasteland surrounded by nothing but swords and regrets.'

Times like these made him wonder what happened in the last Holy Grail War he was a part of. Without him, how did Rin manage to survive? 

That entity far surpassed the danger most of the available Servants posed, and he highly doubted that naive boy was going to be of any help. Hopefully, that small gift he left him with would give him enough assistance to protect everyone. 

"Who am I trying to fool? He and everyone else have most likely perished by now." A morbid way of thinking, but it was a reality Emiya had seen countless times, and so grew to accept it instead of ignoring it. Though a part of him remained optimistic that Emiya Shirou somehow created a miracle leading to both Rin and Sakura surviving the war. After all, no one else would ever understand just how stubborn and dense a being like Shirou could be other than the Counter Guardian himself. 

As he fell further down the well of memories and errant thoughts, the doors to the classroom were opened with a loud bang. Snapping back to reality, Emiya groaned in exasperation to see none other than Ren on the other side, holding a tower of books and papers.

"Humph, I'll show you who can finish his homework the fastest!" 

For the love of… just when was this guy going to stop this charade!? It was getting more than annoying, an issue that started to make him consider using violence to try and fix that boy's head. If nothing else, it would at least allow him to vent a bit.

"Hehehe, intimidated, aren't you? I see you're still on page 6—" 

"—Excuse me, can you move away, please?" A woman's voice came from behind Ren. With long blonde locks of hair reaching her waist along with that oh-so-familiar Ojou-sama pose was none other than Saki accompanied by her usual gang. "You're blocking the way to the class." 

'Hurgh, it never stops, doesn't it? One problem after another.' Emiya silently complained. 

Seeing the beautiful girl standing behind him, Ren instantly went on his best behavior and politely bowed to the girls. "Ah, sorry, my attention was elsewhere and I failed to notice your arrival. Please, go on ahead." As he tried to move out of the way, one of the books at the top of the pile tilted downwards and fell. 

Pa!

"Ah!" It hit Ren's head, causing the boy to jump with pain, causing him to lose his balance. His body going forward towards Saki, having no control of his movement and catching everyone's attention. As his face got closer to the shocked heiress, a black blur reached his side before a loud bang came from a wooden katana striking his face with enough force to see Ren and the tower of books he was carrying flying in another direction. 

A crash echoed inside the hall as standing in front of Saki was none other than a pissed-off Rin. "Don't you think for a second you can pull a move from Yuuki Rito's book and lay your hand on Saki-sama's chest!" She failed once in the past to protect her lady from Emiya's brother's evil clutches, but promised herself to never commit such a crime ever again! 

Ren lost consciousness. 

"A rather violent entrance, don't you think, Rin? You must have broken his jaws with that strike." 

"Then I went easy on him… a shame." 

Emiya worried that she was actually being serious, Rin wasn't one to joke around. 

"I would ask how you're still allowed to carry that sword around while actively using it to assault your fellow students, but then again I am just as guilty." He said, with little worry about Ren given he wanted to do the same thing to the boy a few seconds ago. That alien was getting on his nerves with his constant nagging. "Besides the constant harm on fellow students, how have you been, Tenjōin-san?" 

Waving his hand at the blonde, Emiya was glad that their previous misunderstanding about him being Lala's fiancé was resolved. He managed to make her think that they were merely acquaintances whose families were quite close and he was just helping her out for the moment. She wasn't pleased by it, but at least it was better than allowing her to think that they were involved romantically. Of course, Saki wasn't going to calm down so easily, so he promised her a favor she could cash in anytime she pleased. 

"Go-Good afternoon, Emiya, I see you have a pest problem." She alluded to the downed Ren. The girl still stuttered a bit, but far less than in the past. 

"It's nothing," he didn't want to get into the details for now. Though he was certain that the heiress must have gotten a short resumé from her two lackeys who managed the web of information passing through them. "Anyways, need something?" 

"I-I just came here to hand you this…" with a slight blush on her face, Saki handed him a flier with 'Sainan Festival Day' written in bold characters. There was a second page with the details of a bug themed cafe with Saki's face plastered at the top. 

"A festival huh, I almost forgot about this. I didn't have anything to do that day as I decided to be left out from any activities. I take it this 'bug' themed cafe will be your class' project?" 

Saki eagerly nodded, puffing up her chest to emphasize her rather large assets. "I have received word that a certain… a distasteful individual, will open a wild animal themed cafe. So in order to remind everyone who is the true Queen of Sainan, I decided to participate as well."

"Still, why bugs?" Not that he had anything against bugs, but if she wanted to compete then this was bound to fail. Unless they had something special going on for them. 

"Bugs are cute." Saki stated without hesitation as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

And from the look on her face, she was being serious. 

"I will not argue with that." Better not get into a debate with her. Still, if a student were to have the choice of picking between a cafe with girls dressed in cute animal costumes or eating at a bug themed cafe… then the choice was frankly obvious. Emiya himself would rather not see a cockroach anywhere near his food and drink… even if they were fake props. "So which bugs will you be dressing up as?" 

"Hohoho~! I'm so glad you asked, Emiya! I would obviously choose a Queen insect of course, a true Queen bee!" 

He should have known.

"This is a very… original concept, I'll be sure to pay you a visit." It wouldn't hurt to quickly stop by during the school festival and see how they were doing.

"Well… T-That's the reason w-why I came here." her voice started wavering, a far cry from her confident demeanor a few seconds ago. "Can… a-and…I-I…" at the end she trailed off, unable to continue while further stuttering. Her face turned red while both Rin and Aya encouraged the girl to not give up. 

Gathering her courage, she mustered up enough willpower to finish her phrase. 

"…And I want you to h-help out as well!" She exclaimed loudly, forcing another paper into his hands before rushing away from the class. Leaving him alone facing Rin while Aya ran after the blonde. 

"…"

"You know this cafe will fail, right?" He said bluntly, "The other class is having a cute animal themed cafe which will attract far more people." And given Lala and Risa were part of the girls who'd be serving and dressing up, this was going to be a no brainer. The boys in this school were already obsessed with the princess. 

"We already have a plan B ready just in case." 

"I'm afraid to ask, but what is your plan B?" Hopefully she wasn't planning something too crazy, at least Saki wasn't that eccentric.

"You'll have to come over to find out." Before Rin left, she stopped, remembering an important detail. "Ah, before I leave. Just to clarify what Saki-sama said previously. We request you to join our cafe and become part of the team. Whether you want to be serving or working at the bar will be up to you. You will be compensated for your time of course."

They sure did come prepared.

"That's nice and all, but unfortunately I don't have an insect themed costu—"

With a snap of Rin's fingers, an entire mobile wardrobe of both costumes and suits was pushed inside the classroom by a team of men in black suits. Emiya didn't know what to say. Were they waiting just outside for her signal this entire time? 

"There are nearly fifty different costumes of various bugs. I think you'll find them to be quite fashionable and comfortable." 

There was nothing fashionable about any of those!

"I'm not sure about this, Rin, they may not exactly fit me." 

"Don't worry, each of these costumes have been tailor made to match your size."

Now this was getting weird, "And how exactly did you know my measurement?" 

"I have my ways." Her eyes moved slightly, avoiding eye contact with him. Emiya refused to believe that Rin somehow had the perverted talent of his mother to calculate the measurements of anyone by sight and touch alone. 

Or was she? 

"You're not a pervert by any chance, are you, Rin?" 

He was met with a quick wooden sword slash, which he easily dodged by leaning backwards. 

"It was a simple question." 

"And that was a simple attack." She said with a straight face. This assured him that at least she wasn't a pervert, having most likely gotten his measurements by reading through his files, though that was its own form of violating one's privacy. It didn't take much to bribe that principal and given who Saki's family was, it became even more easier. "Anyways, be sure to be there. Saki-sama has been looking forward to this day and I won't forgive you if you disappoint her." 

"Let me guess, you already made sure to avoid any potential problems of me being busy already helping out in another class." He sighed, "Hah, are you doing all of this as revenge for the time I made you trip while you were attacking me?" 

Rin smirked ever so slightly, almost invisible to everyone. But to him who was rather familiar with the kendo girl by now, the change in expression was rather blatant. 

"Obviously." 

{Break}

(Late Evening)

After school, nothing too crazy occured much to Emiya's relief. Ren was being held up in the nurse's office for some last-minute check ups, which meant he wasn't stalking him, Rito and Lala as they made their way back home. 

Mikan had already returned from her classes, and was in the kitchen cutting vegetables for dinner. And as was all too often the case, their father had another deadline approaching so he was absent once again. Saiba wasn't a bad father by any means. Emiya knew the man loved his children and would go above and beyond for any one of them. But he wished the manga artist would have a bit more time to spend with his daughter and son. 

'Maybe I can have Zastin help him? He's been bugging me a lot lately for food and money.' Giving him a job would be a step in the right direction. 

"Shirou, we're out of eggs for tomorrow." Mikan said, taking a look inside the fridge in preparation for tomorrow's breakfast. "Can you make a quick trip to the convenience store and buy a few?" 

"Sure, I'll be back in a bit." 

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And with that, he left the house in the middle of the night. It did take him a lot longer to reach a store given the closest one was closed for reparations. Walking through the streets with nothing but his thoughts for company was weird for Emiya. Such moments made everything he had experienced so far feel almost like a dream. 

"Enough of these pointless thoughts, I'd better hurry up." Given it was the middle of the night with no one in sight, Emiya contemplated using his Reinforcement to get back home faster. "No, the chances of someone spotting me by accident is too high and this isn't some kind of emergency. I shouldn't risk so much just to get back home a few minutes earlier." 

In the end, he took the path through the park, the same one where he took Lala and fought her bodyguards. From what he could see, either Zastin or the locals already repaired the damages and everything was as good as new. 

"Ah~!" 

"Shh! Someone might hear you!" 

"…" 

Emiya's face cringed instantly as his ears picked up various voices coming from the trees of different couples having fun. Some passed by him, holding hands and flirting without a care in the world. Now that he paid more attention, this spot had become filled with couples everywhere! 

"Is it Valentine's day today? This place is usually quiet." He was starting to regret taking this shortcut. Better to just take the longer route, at least then he wouldn't have some of the moans coming from the dark areas. 

"Arf!" 

A dog?

Chomp!

A sharp pain came from his foot, and to his surprise he found a familiar small Boston Terrier with a really weird-looking face biting his ankle. The little dog was growling while looking at him with squinted eyes, as if facing his worst enemy.

Grabbing the dog by the back of his neck, Emiya lifted the animal from the ground and glared back at it. "I'm going to throw you into a river one of these days, mutt." 

"Ah, Maron!" From the other side of the road, a worried Haruna came running. Her eyes widened when she witnessed her dog being held by the scruff of his neck. "Emiya-kun? Don't tell me he attacked you again…" 

"Fancy seeing you here at this hour, Haruna." He said while giving the dark blue haired girl a calm smile.

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"That should do it." Making sure to properly hold the leash this time, Haruna scolded the dog for biting him again. "I-I'm sorry, Emiya-kun. I'm not sure why he acts like this, normally Maron is a very gentle and loving dog. He doesn't bite people, I swear. Ah, you're not bleeding are you!?" 

He waved her worries away by showing his undamaged ankles. "I have thick skin. A small mutt like that won't be able to hurt me much even if he tried." 

Maron growled at him again, though this time Haruna pulled his leash just in time to calm her pet. Blushing from embarrassment, she once again profusely apologized to the redhead. Bowing her head multiple times on the verge of crying. 

"Hey, don't start crying. I told you that I don't mind, right? Animals, dogs in particular, never seem to like me that much — so don't blame yourself for this." Digging into his grocery bag, he took out a cold can of soda and pressed it against Haruna's neck while she was still bowing.

"Kya!" The girl jumped in the air like a rabbit. He chuckled at her reaction, at least now she wasn't going to start crying on him. "That was mean, Emiya-kun!" She snatched the can from his hand and started drinking it with a pout on her face. "Even your brother is nicer to me." 

"Heh, I would've been mad if that wasn't the case. Though I was worried you'd have a differing opinion given he tends to… fall on you, quite frequently." 

"I-I-It's not his fault, he's not i-intentionally trying to make me uncomfortable. Your brother is just very clumsy and unlucky." She whispered quietly while taking a sip. "By the way, I heard your class will be doing a haunted classroom for the festival." She said, wanting to change the subject. 

"Yeah, but I won't be participating in that. I promised Rin that I'll help her class out with some bug themed cafe." 

"Eh, a bug themed cafe? What a coincidence, our class will have an animal themed one and Lala also agreed to help us out!" Her mood visibly fell a bit. "It's a shame you won't be there…" 

"Hn, I don't think whoever organized the project would allow anyone other than girls to dress up in those costumes."

"Saruyama-san and his friends came up with the idea." 

Ah, if that was the case then he would definitely not be welcomed there. Knowing about the Anti-Emiya Alliance banding up together with many male students, they would even chase him away with pitchforks if he were to show his face. Or at least they'd attempt it, but it was still more trouble than it was worth.

"What animal will you be dressing up as?" He asked, "Given your love for Maron, it can be a dog costume."

"Hehehe, that does sound nice, but unfortunately, someone already got their hands on the dog costume and there wasn't another one for me. So I was left with a cat costume." She said, scratching her cheek while looking elsewhere. "I honestly don't like those kinds of costumes, they are a bit too bold for my liking. But if everyone is doing it then I'll just have to push through. But I'm sure you'll be paying more attention to Lala the entire time." She said the last part quietly.

Emiya acted as if he hadn't heard it.

"A cat huh? To be honest, it somehow suits you." He added, looking downwards at the dog trying to chew his way out of the leash. "You do look more like a cat person." 

"What's that supposed to mean!?" She exclaimed, lightly hitting his shoulders. "I feel like you're making fun of me." 

"Careful there, you might break my arm. After all, I'm nowhere near as strong as a girl who can push a boy straight through a wall so easily." His grin couldn't be any more pronounced, trying to hold back the laughter threatening to come out any moment. He had seen what happened whenever she panicked, and it turned out to be one of the most bizarre and hilarious sights Emiya ever experienced since arriving in this world.

A vein throbbed on Haruna's forehead and started fuming. "You're talking as if I was some sort of brute you jer — ah, Maron!?" 

For the second time, the dog managed to escape his owner's leash and run off into the distance at great speed. Emiya had been ready for the mutt to attack him again out of nowhere, but was startled by the outcome. 

"AAARRRGH!!!!" A guttural scream came from the other side, both Haruna and he looked at each other, before the former ran towards the source of the voice where her dog ran toward, with Emiya following shortly behind her. His senses sharpened with Kanshou and Bakuya ready to be called in a split second. With Magical Energy coursing through his body, he was prepared for any eventuality up ahead. Given the recent appearance of Ghi Bree, it was very possible for there to be other dangerous aliens roaming around the city. 

"Oh no!" The girl in front of him covered her mouth in shock, Emiya feared that she must have seen an alien monster. 

"Be careful!" He got in front of her defensively, about to Trace his weapons if needed, but instantly froze by the sight before him. "What?"

It was an alien alright, the same alien who wished to prove himself as the man to Lala. Who was now clinging to a light pole with his arms and legs several feet off the ground, shaking with fear, and trying to maintain his safe refuge above the furiously barking dog beneath him. 

"H-Help! This thing tried to eat me alive!" 

He doubted Maron had any interest in alien flesh. Though the dog did bite him a few minutes ago and numerous times before that, so maybe it got a taste for human blood recently. No matter in which world, there always was a dog who tried to hurt him… or stab his heart with a spear. 

"R-Ren-kun!?" Haruna called out to him loudly. "Get down from there, you'll get hurt!" 

"Not as long as that ugly beast is still there!" Ren shouted back, pointing hatefully at Maron who continued to bark at him from beneath the pole. 

"He's not going to hurt you, Maron is a gentle dog!" 

"…"

Emiya wanted to have a word with her about that claim. "Oi, Haruna, better just grab your pet before he runs off again." 

"You're right," she quickly rushed over and grabbed the dog before it could cause more problems. Seeing that the threat was removed, Ren sighed in relief and was about to slide back down. 

"Wah!" 

"Ren-kun!" 

But his foot slipped, his body now falling downwards towards the hardened stone path. The boy's eyes were wide with fear as his senses screamed at him to hold onto something but it was too late with nothing in reach. His heart stopped beating for a second, with no control whatsoever, he could do nothing more than brace for the fall. 

Woosh!

Before his body hit the ground, a shadow blurred forward and caught him just in time. Ren watched with wide eyes as Emiya, who had been standing so far away before, was now so close to him, holding his body carefully. The same frowning expression on his face that now held a hint of concern. 

"You're okay?" He spoke confidently, as if unaffected by his own action and he saved him despite being a rival for Lala's love.

For a single moment, a single thought surfaces inside Ren's mind. 

'Can I be like him?' 

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.

.

"I'm very sorry again, I don't know what's gotten into Maron today!" For the hundredth time, Haruna asked for forgiveness to Ren, holding the now calm Maron. "I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry!" 

"I-It's okay, it's not your fault." Being weak to a woman's tears, Ren hastily accepted her apology while awkwardly looking over at Emiya. Unlike this morning, he struggled to find words to speak to him, he didn't know how to even face his 'rival'. 

"Here, have this." Before he could even say anything, the redhead walked over and handed him a piece of yakisoba bread he took out from his bag. "I was saving this for myself, but it's better for you to have it instead. I don't know what you're doing out this late in the park and in your school uniform no less — but I assume your day didn't go as smoothly as you hoped for."

No, it didn't. Ren was hoping for Lala to come back to him the same day he introduced himself and for both of them to leave Earth that very night. Yet much to his dismay, Lala didn't even recognize him at first, and even after she did, she'd barely talked to the boy the entire time they were at school together. Every day she was running behind this person before him, acting all intimate and needy around him. 

It pissed him off to no end, making his desire to show off his manliness burn even hotter. 

Yet now… he didn't know what to think anymore. 

"Why did you save me?" He asked, "It was the perfect opportunity to take out your biggest rival for Lala's hand in marriage." 

Ren watched as Emiya facepalmed himself and groaned irritatingly. "Hurgh, just how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not trying to become Lala's fiancé?" The former Counter Guardian decided to try another approach. "Listen, Ren, you want to prove yourself to Lala by showing off how manly you are, right?" 

"…Yes."

"Then I'm all for it. You see, being manly does not mean always trying to measure up against me or anyone else — it honestly just shows how insecure you actually are. If you want to become a true man, then focus on something else. Become a better man; help others and improve upon yourself. By doing so, you'll achieve your goal without even realizing it and you'll become manlier than me in no time. I believe in you, Ren." 

At this point, Emiya was frankly just spewing whatever random 'inspirational' gibberish that came to mind in the hopes that it would finally get Ren to stop pestering him throughout every day at school, and instead make the boy focus on something else. He tried his best to channel the essence of a certain fake priest, but immediately abandoned that tactic after growing disgusted by his own thought process.

"Well, it's getting late. I should be returning soon, or else Mikan might get worried." He offered to drop Haruna off at her house, which she happily accepted. "You too Ren, go back home or wherever you're staying right now. I'm not going to save you twice in a single day, even if you get into trouble with a kidnapper or a mugger." 

As they left the area, Ren continued to stare at the bread Emiya left for him. His rival was kind to him despite everything he had done to him, saved him from the fall for no reason and even said that he supported his goal, offered good advice, and believed in him. Words the alien rarely had many people mention to him.

'He's quite manly, isn't he?' That same voice from this morning spoke again, though this time Ren didn't push it away like last time.

'Yeah… I think he is.'

With renewed vigor, Ren got back up with his fist raised to the sky. 

"I swear that one day I'll become a real man just like you and win Lala's heart! Just you wait, aniki!" 

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Now resting on the couch, Emiya suddenly felt a horrifying chill creep up his spine.

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.