I Died... Right?

"It's no use" Dark eyes stared at me in frustration. He grits his teeth as he desperately thinks of ways to seal off Madara and the Juubi.

Unconsciously, my fingers brushed along my pouch containing a very dangerous seal note. The action didn't escape his attention.

He knew what was in that pouch. It was always there.

And he was present when I asked Tsunade-shishou for permission to borrow the Forbidden Scroll.

I was creating my own version of the dreaded Dead Demon Consuming Seal without needing the hand signs and hopefully without being consumed by the Shinigami. It's nowhere near finished and it honestly isn't going very well - but I'm desperate. The war needs to come to an end.

"No" He grasped my hand with an equal amount of desperation that I have. "You'll die"

It was the truth.

"Everyone here is prepared to die, Shikamaru" I whispered. "Even you"

"I'll think of a way," He says. Stress lines are prominent on his forehead.

I reached out a hand, two fingers outstretched and placed it atop his forehead in a light poke; easing his frown. He glances at me in wonder and I could only give him a crooked grin.

"Stop making that face," I said, "It makes me want to kiss you"

He was visibly startled and I could only chuckle at myself. "Momentarily distracting Shika from morbid thoughts, success!"

I stood up and was about to walk away when he said the words that made my heart skip and flutter despite the situation.

"Why don't you do it then?"

Huh? I blinked back at him. "What?"

"Kiss me" The tips of his ears are visibly reddening.

I couldn't help but chuckle at his embarrassment despite my own. How cute.

I stepped closer to him and I notice him paying close attention to my movements. I sent him a teasing smile. "Are you sure about this?"

His eyes met mine and there was something in there that I can't describe as he breathed one word in response. "Yeah"

My smile faltered. My heart ached even though it should be leaping in joy. This guy who I had been in love with for years was now giving me a chance but I couldn't find myself feeling happy at all.

Swallowing uncomfortably, I sighed before giving my best smile. "Well then, please excuse me"

I placed the palm of my right hand just below his left ear before slowly pulling him towards myself. He wrapped his strong yet gentle arms around my frame. I kissed him softly, just briefly. I thought that my heart would burst when I felt him respond. It was as soft and hesitant as mine is.

Soon, we parted and I took a hesitant step back.

"I'll go check on my team" I whispered before walking away, trying to pretend as if nothing had happened.

.

.

.

I woke up with a gasp. A guttural scream raked at my throat as pain seem to explode in every cell in my body. I could feel people bustling around me, moving frantically. A few hands restrained me, pinning me on my back and preventing me to move.

IT HURTS!

Another scream escaped my lips before unconsciousness claimed me.

.

.

.

The last thing I remember before anything else had been me attempting to seal Madara using the ace up my sleeve. I don't know if I actually succeeded because the seal I used had rapidly drained me of chakra and everything else had been in a blurry mush.

When I woke up disoriented and hurting, I found myself in an unfamiliar place. Granted that being in a war, one will be sent to different battlefields and so as an unknown location, but the place that I woke up to wasn't a medical tent. It was a house, of all places.

.

.

.

My name is Zen. But that is only a name I gave myself. Obviously, no family name. A Chunin specializing in Fuinjutsu and Iryu ninjutsu.

I was apprenticed to Senju Tsunade along with Haruno Sakura.

I was born to a single parent without a name. Raised and abandoned with no name to call my self.

But it's okay. That was fine with me. I was luckier than most kids my age that never had anything to begin with or had it worse than I did.

Life hated me from the start, and death hated me just as much.

Well, you see... This isn't my first run in life. I previously lived in another world before, where this world is nothing but a serialized fiction book. I died for the first time, and then I was reincarnated here in this world. Then I died for the second time and now I'm here; alive once more.

I died at the young age of 15 during the 4th Shinobi War attempting to seal off Madara. Based on my track record of failures, I probably utterly failed. As usual.

I was prepared to die either way, but then again, I woke up back where I suppose I started from.

And since Life likes to fuck me over, being reincarnated seems to be just the intro to their sick joke. Because standing in front of me is the woman of my nightmares... my mother. The one who had abandoned me all of those years ago.