Last Will

They've arrived in Japan and his family were there to fetch them at the airport.

" My son, how are you doing there? You didn't hold your phone for a month, that is crazy? "

"... I'm fine... I wanna visit the residence" he excused, straight to the point.

" Well why don't you rest and come back after the day tomorrow I heard they're busy with their works and- "

" Mom, we received a letter from Ivan in France and visited us there because he had a business trip.

" Oh my, is that it? Then where is Ivan? "

" He didn't join us because his flight is next week, " they nodded.

Naoko goes straight to the residence and the servants including Kaiyo's personal maid Livia,

" Welcome back home Young Master! " She greeted me.

At the time when he saw Livia he waves at her and gives a sollen smile, he knew what she felt when Kaiyo died. She's even at her funeral that day. Naoko steps inside the door and looks everywhere: the ceilings, curtains, dining area, and in the garden where Naoko first met Kaiyo's mother. He touched the chair where Kaiyo's seating before when they had tea together. It reminds him of her Russian nickname 'Malishka' and finally he heard it once again, Anastasia came to see him by secretly walking forward to him and she knew he'd remembered those wonderful memories.

Naoko had this condition called Amusia, or some form of it, as it is a brain condition that causes the afflicted person to be unable to hear a music's pitch. His negative feelings from his past resurface, and his mind blocks him from hearing sounds that have a negative association in his mind,

and hearing voices may be a symptom of a mental illness.

He also keeps hearing the past when he touches things he's getting deja vu every time there's no time and place where he was peaceful and forget what he saw that day at the hospital when the doctor and nurses came through and slam the door when Naoko keeps entering it.

" Naoko-kun~ konichiwa~ you still look so young.. " she giggled.

" Well you too Mom, you should also reduce stress at work don't over do it"

" Ah~ like my three children but four... add you~ " Anastasia's heart is already healed from pain but see if they talked about her death it will be miserable again so he doesn't want to bring it up.

" Wanna have some tea? " same question when Kaiyo's still alive and Anastasia is very well aware of the words she's saying right now.

" Oh~ I remember that you have competition for the next one and in-a-half months? "

" Yes.... I've been practicing this piece when I'm in France.. "

" If so... we're talking about competition and practicing come with me"

" Where is Mom? "

" You'll see.. " She smiled at him brightly even though she knew Naoko was gloomy.

She let him go to the room where Kaiyo is speaking and when he once saw it with his eyes, Naoko brightened up his eyes and burst into tears. [ sniff ] He saw his favorite room that he'd always wanted and base on the letter she said it was for him and her whenever they've got bored they will use that room one day to ease their mind, the room consist of full of music every wall she never missed one space and a huge picture frame of a painting of them playing; Kaiyo in Violin and Naoko playing Piano.

He steps forward to the huge frame and touches gently, he reminisces when the time Kaiyo asked him if he wants to make a painting what it will be and he said a painting of the two of them but didn't say a painting of performing and playing together.

It eases his mind for some reason. He wants to sit-back and relax and enjoy the scenery of the room she customized for him.

" ...It's a graduation gift Naoko-kun "

She said it when Naoko was sniffing in tears. Kaiyo knew that even though she is gone he will continue to do his dream so she wanted to do something while she was alive back then she was arranging every single thing when they're together.

She managed to finish it the whole four years. It was a special gift from her since Naoko proposed to her, she wanted to be a useful wife. So then, instead of dying without a souvenir she made it for him.

" Heh~ you looked like a red tomato " she teased him.

" Thank you everyone...for letting me stay here with your family I... I didn't- " Naoko's words kept stopping and began to hiccup.

"Shh... Naoko-kun Malishka prepared this for four years..she wanted to show you this when you guys graduate but due to her death at least she left a memorable gift just for you..." patted.

Noah is stepping inside and screams.

" This is such a memorable gift from her! " [ steps ]

" Noah! " He's amazed by his look. Noah is a matured person inside and outside unlike their meeting in the past, he became a successful neurologist doctor like Anastasia. He also became a soloist in violin. Kaiyo and Noah have been playing Violin since little while Ivan played the piano too, like Naoko.

" We are here for your competition Naoko-kun, we'll be watching over you too.. " they both smiled at him but still Naoko felt emotional.. and he hears Kaito's voice once again.

< A whisper from the wind >

( " Naoko... do you like it?~ " )

He keeps hearing illusions of her in his ears and tries to cover up. But, he's thinking of what if her voice is true and only he can hear her.

****

At his home...

He walks back to his room and is full of a gloomy atmosphere until it goes till morning. He hasn't slept at all. He went all night thinking of her and all the pictures are spread on his bed and flooring.

[ Talking ] To himself,

Everyday All I think about is dying...why is this only happening to me?...

I'm exhausted...

Should I.. die instead so I can be with her in heaven?.... no I mustn't because I'll just end up in hell not the same place as her..

[ knicks ] Kazue, his mom knocks in. She almost opened the door but she understands his situation.

" Good morning Naoko rise and shine breakfast is ready "

" ...mm.. just a little bit more.. "

" hm.. what do I do with you? I know it's hur- " she stopped and walked out.

" Okay son... I'll come back later.. " with a big deep sighed.

[ shuts door ]

****

It's okay to cry, it's just the beginning..

( " Nao? Darling, why are you crying? I know it's common to ask, but I wanted to do this too like others do " )

hearing once again without wind this time.

" It's pretty hard isn't it? " They both said at the same time.

( " Why? me? " )

" Because you couldn't touch me anymore and you're just a ghost "

A glowing flower came to the window and began to form a body.

( " Oh yeah? I can look " )

" Just cry, It's okay Naoko " he said to himself.

( " Look at me right now Nao " )

He looked at her and his tears were gone.

" But you know what..life is already difficult.. It's boring if it's too easy, perhaps that's why it's interesting ".

He said to follow up his sentence.

" Kaiyo why did you leave so suddenly "

( " Take it easy, okay?... because time goes by... your scars will soon be healed... just a bit more...hang in there.." )

" No, don't leave! stay with me for a little longer! "

She was vanishing like petals of cherry blossoms flowing away and dust. She was no longer in this world it's painful, tedious, exhausting... he wants to cry until he's no longer have tears to shed but he knows that even he shouts louder and cry louder she will never come back, she's part of the afterlife now and nothing can't bring back the dead. While he was crying, his parents and even his mom kept crying. She heard Naoko talking alone. Thus,for him he is hearing an illusion.

" Kaiyo....Ughhhhh! "

" What do I do with my son Tomio? "

" Let him be after all it's been years since she passed away he had trauma Kazue... "

" Mom.. dad let him be...soon I'll talk to him when he calms down now rest assured "

Yuki took them to their room and rested and waited for Naoko to finish crying and checked his phone...

He is hearing many calls from her ear to ear and reminding him of the scenery when he proposed to her the day after Kaito's birthday and arranged everything at the hotel in Hiroshima.

[ A sudden memory call

came to his my mind ]

"Miyazono Kaiyou I'm looking forward to our marriage"

" Then.. I'll ask you.. " he didn't get to ask earlier.

" Will you live with me and be together? Will you marry me? "

< A BLURRY STATE OF MEMORY >

" I WILL MARRY YOU MIYA... Z... O.. NO.... NAO-... Ko.. "

[ - End of his memory - ]

The scene where all it happened were gone, he didn't know that he'd fallen asleep because of crying and tiredness he'd realizes that he hasn't gone out since he came home from France and he didn't have breakfast it was already pass noon three-thirty pm and he washes up goes to the shower to clean himself and goes out for a walk.

[ Flashes ], It reminds him about the competition next month and he's thinking of practicing since he will start working when he's comfortable. He'd wanted to practice at the Shinomiya residence but for the meantime he will stay at home and practice the whole day until he's satisfied.

[ plays ] He is practicing Tchaikovsky's Souvenir d'un lieu cher it is a memory of a dear place is a set of three pieces for violin and piano, he wanted to perform this because this is the most requested piece by Kaiyo in the past she will always say

" Practice this! and someday I will ask you to perform this in one set! "

Or sometimes she cannot bear it any longer and keeps asking suddenly; " Naoko-kun~ can you play it for me~ or like a... duet! ".

Thereupon, this is the time to show it to her even if it's too late. It's her all time favorite piece by Tchaikovsky so he will put his whole heart in it.

[ Knocked ] Yuki knocks at his door but Naoko might not hear it because he was practicing and the whole room is filling his ears with music . It went smoothly, hence, Yuki just opened the door and scared him.

" Boo! " [ jumps in ]

" What in the-... Yuki?! " complete confusion.

" I'm not here to make some fun "

Although he also included it in his plan to make fun of him for a while..

[ Groans ] "...ahem.. ah... let's talk about something I kinda feel that you've come to your senses huh? "

" Okay it's fine with me I can talk properly "

nodded, he smiled at him nicely and showed affection to his brother.

At The Moment in Sendai Competition...

Naoko is finally competing at Sendai International Music Competition that he was also preparing for months when he's in France even he is depressed, in sometime in stage he played Tchaikovsky's Mélodie, Op. 42 No.3

carrying the romantic melody it is also Kai's favorite piece.

A memory while playing

Nobuyuki was scolding him on the outside but worried on the inside.

" You can only change yourself, you can't change other people. If you expect them to change, it won't happen and you'll get disappointed for no reason "

" But.. but.. what if I.. "

" Instead, why don't you spend the same amount of time working on yourself? " [bonk]

" But brother are you.. no.. you're also having depress- "

" Aiyo! this is about you stop bringing my business here! you're the next President of Dad's company so be it! " he wobbled his body up and came to senses once more again and tried to be the best person he could be.

Not everything will be alright.. but it will be what it'll be, no matter what happens you'll be alright with it eventually without her...I can do this for once again!.

[ playing ] He plays to his heart's content.

" Too bad... if any to the two of us Kaiyo... is a piano accompaniment it'll be much more beautiful right? but it doesn't matter the show, the focus of people is on me nothing more.. so look at me Malishka! "

[ plays ]

A beautiful play, numerous people were in love and so moved with his play and a round of applause loudly and his tears came out; it was the tears of joy he hadn't felt over those years of leaving without her.

[ panting fast ] " ha... ha... ha... ho... "

He spread his arms and shoulders and said,

" That's... perfect! " he's satisfied.

"...but does Kaiyo like it? Of course she would, I am her fiancé after all and the only man who can satisfy her! "

He complimented himself with a big smile on his face and his parents were so happy even Anastasia and Noah were proud and moved by the new him. He realized that everyone was looking at him and watched him from the very beginning. Now he felt free to move little by little and celebrated his victory.

He was first place and champion on Sendai International Music Competition, the numerous people shouts and the others are whistling to him and full his ears of congratulations but still it's a little bit heavy to his heart after he'd perform because only their parents and his friends came to his performance but it doesn't matter the important is he finished it exquisitely good job back there and he's fine with that.

[ waves ] Naoko's friends from student council came as well and because they missed him so much and wanted to make a schedule for their reunion they had a short conversation because they had work to do. And as the day came to an end he wondered again and again.

" What if these physical feelings affect my brain and die like her?

It is common to feel physically ill after someone dies.. even if she's my beloved woman...the pain of grief can be felt as a real pain... then every part of my health can be affected.. should I change? "

It reminds him when the night at the hospital when Kaiyo asked him if he wants to commit suicide with her but he decline that time so slaps his face with his pillow and bump his head too.

" Ugh... Kaiyo help me this time~ "

[ sighed ] " What can I do without you? "

Since he was so bored and don't wanna think of something bothersome he went to his practice room because he wants to read the music score and practice sight reading it's one am in the morning and he found another piece of music score that it also reminds him about sadness it was Liebesleid Love's Sorrow,

" Hm... so it says here...In 1925 and again in 1931 Rachmaninov transcribed two works by Kreisler, Liebesfreud....Love's Joy then... ah...? Liebesleid...Love's Sorrow "

So he wanted to practice it on piano. These were the classical favorites for relaxing and dreaming the Liebesleid, it expresses so many things at once, often deliberately irreconcilable.

" hmm.. Love's Sorrow affected my heart... haha... this is realistically Fritz Kreisler....? "

[ laughed ]

" Well then... I have no choice I'm interested to play this... "

Then he suddenly remembered that it was his mother's favorite piece since she was in high school and until now she listens to it.

" Ha.. what a pain in the ass.."

[ knocked ] "Son? Are you in there look the time honey~"

His Mom was inspecting at night when she heard someone or something come up.

" Ah! Mom I was practicing" [ surprised ]

" Ara! you should go to sleep now "

" Eh- I wanna spend the night here.. I wanna practice and it's a full moon. It was clear to see from here so I didn't turn on the lights. "

" Then I'll stay here too! ``.

" Mom.. you have work tomorrow- "

"Aahh Shazz shazz I'm on a break you know" [ waves ]

"..." He didn't expect that it was a coincidence that she's off to work.

" Ara? you're not happy for your mother to be here? "

" No I mean.... I'll play this for you"

Therefore he started playing his mother's favorite piece and just seeing the first note she noticed quickly that it was Love's Sorrow so she sat back and watched him play.

His mother Kazue is actually an Instructor in Piano but Naoko studied both instruments Piano and Violin, he wanted to be a soloist along with Kaiyo that time too.

The place where they're staying was full of his music. He feels like it's his own music playing and he emphasizes being really good at playing piano.

His mother reminds him of his father working and now asks him when he will start working as the new president of his father's company.

End of the piece..

" That's a lovely performance Nao~ thank you I love it, it always remind me of when I was still a high school girl along with your father~ "

" Uh....."

" Eh- Ara? you're not interested to hear my story? "

" Uh... no better hear it next time ha~ha~ha~... " He was in an awkward position.

" aha! By the way, when will you start working soon? "

" Ah.... since after the performance I will tell Dad that I will start by the third week.. "

" Oh~ good luck with that I will make you breakfast with you boys then~ "

" Mom it's late.. not late but it's almost six am.... "

" Ah!!! about time he's going to wake up aha! Aha! gonna go before your father wakes up" [whispers] "hihihihi... bye~ " [waves]

"Is she gonna be fine? She's tired the whole day... and... I steal her time.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After the Ten days, Nobuyuki and Naoko went to an Art Museum because it's been a long time since they went there together.

-This will be his start of his life speaking-

Grieving Of Heart...? hmm... so this is what the painting is called?

" So then,what does grief feel like? you Naoko? " [pointed[

"..Grieving is natural and normal. It won't last forever, although there may be times when it seems like the pain will never end..there's no 'right' way to grieve and we each react in our own way. "

" Like you and the Young Lady of Shinomiya? "

"... Um.. well it is a common feeling after someone dies..the shock and numbness ha.. ha..."

At first you might feel like you're in shock...You might feel numb or carry on as if nothing has changed.[doomed]

" I may also feel disorientated? "

" Well y-yes? maybe but I didn't go that far right? back then? "

Probably...?

" What about you, what do you feel about this painting? it's proportionate " [amazed]

" Pain...I can say it's pain, death of someone you love, close to us like family members but it doesn't show family but lovers...? It can be very painful. My teacher back in high school said that it is described as being cut in two or losing a part of themselves.. " [pointed]

-They moved on to the next painting and Nobuyuki being surprised again.-

" Oh this is Anger but when like in the movie remember? "

" Ah.... he took revenge for her death" [blinks]

" Yeah he did but it cannot bring the dead back alive ha.. ha... "

...It's normal to feel angry when someone dies....death is really cruel and unfair...

" Especially when you feel someone has died too young or if you had plans for the future together... "

"You also might feel angry at the person who died, angry at others, or even angry at yourself for things that you did or didn't do while they were alive..."

" Hmm.. hmm.. that point yeah" [nods]

-The Docent and the tour guide in the museum is explaining the statue-

[speaking]

" As you can see this is depression

You may feel depressed after the death of someone close. It can feel like nothing matters. You might even feel like you don't want to go on living. If you start to feel you might act on suicidal feelings please talk to someone..." [speaking]

Then seeing and hearing the person you love..

People sometimes think they can hear or see the person who has died. You may also find that you can't stop thinking about the events leading up to the death. "Seeing" the person who has died and hearing their voice can happen because our brain is trying to process the death and accept that it's final... but that didn't happen to me. I'm still alive though I can hear her voice like she's talking to me personally..?

-The two of them went outside because the exhibit is already done and they were already exhausted and Yuki wants to go to the restaurant near the Museum as they went there, Naoko waits for Yuki to order then he puts his head on the window and ponders-

When will I feel better.. hmm.

I've already recovered, still nothing can replace the person I love that has died... argh.. tsk.. just continue the life, and start to feel happy at times, while remembering those who have died..

" Naoko~ here it is.. hoo.. hoo.. it's hot argh! "

" Oh~ ho~ ne careful.. THAT IS YOUR FAULT.. the soup almost drop Yuki---- "

[giggles] "ppfftt... Aha!aha!ha! our Naoko surely gets angry in a small scene~ "

Tsk... I'm so tired yet you tried to be clumsy- [thinking suddenly]

" Ah...I remember how's it going with Haru-san? "

I bet he fought again with his wife..

" ha.... let her be... "

" Don't you wanna talk about it with your brother? "

" No it's fine she needs some space so I'm not seeing her these days.. "

Mou.... What a husband?! tsk... it's his life by the way.. [confused]

-After eating Yuki decided to visit to her house and split up with Naoko, he went back to their house carrying a two boxes of food, Yuki was wooing him to bring it to their house, quite it's heavy so Yuki handed him the car then drove home while Yuki was walking down the streets since it's only five streets away from the restaurant-

" Ara? You're home now! "

" Haiz... yeah.. Yuki left this to me he went to see Haru-san... "

Ha... I'm so tired~~~~

" Aha... you're tired now go on, go to your room I'll call you when dinner is ready.. you have an afternoon snack with your brother right? "

" Yes... mom.. "

-Then soon as he goes up to his room he throws his bag and jacket

to the floor then throws himself to his bed and gives a big sigh-

[blinks]_[Yawn]

Ha...It's a small step.. but that step can change everything that makes me feel like it... or comfortable..

So I'm not afraid... [Tremble]

I'm not afraid...

[inhale]_[exhale]

I can live without you right....?

You'll watch me over there in heaven [raise]

I will live longer like she said I'll cry and cry but in the near future these tears won't come off me anymore and I'm sure of it because my beloved Shinomiya Kaiyou said that so I'll believe and let nature do it. [grip]

please tell me how I'm supposed to

shut this feeling off with words.. strong words to be permanent.. you know Kaiyo...If I can turn back to time.. I can save you like in the novels you read..or maybe reincarnated once again right?

ha.. ha... [giggles] Just like how can I giggle..when I'm feeling down like this? Are you sure? I am not sure? I know you'll say that...

Should I live for the rest of my life? I believed in you so I'll get my hopes up again and thanks to your mom, brother Ivan and Noah who's there for me until now and to the very end..I missed you and your father. I know you guys are together..and I feel safe since God is with you and Dad...

So I'll go now... little by little at my own pace I want to go forward.. it's okay to be slow right? No rush Miyazono Naoko [slaps himself]

Because I don't want to give up!!!

"That is right Naoko my darling~ "

So this is the real you? Am I seeing things again? I don't wanna expect something from you..

" Naoko-kun!~ I'm watching over you. I don't have bad intentions but my precious... Naoko choose the right path okay.. "

We have our own pace, it's fine to move slower and move forward..

I'll be working soon Kaiyo thank you for having time with me.. you can go back now

" Yes my Darling~"

- As she vanished like in the past days like a when he was in despair

Instead of fading dust she vanished like flowers. Kaiyo loves the flowers which Naoko always brings her. The fragrant smell of the Sterling silver rose is the true and original lavender rose, being nearly thornless and having a sweet and citrusy fragrance. Hence covering and leaving Naoko full of her scent as the reminisce of their memorable fond memories, and longing reminiscence. -

- End of The Backstory History of Volume One Grieving For you : Desperation Miyazono Naoko and Shinomiya Kaiyo-

- To be Continued, the episode of Miyazono Naoko to the future awaits. -