Chapter 25

Kuriko was frowning even as she sucked on her spoon of ice cream. She decided to go see how Izuku was doing. It had been around four months since she last saw him. She didn't think she would see him again, at least not anytime soon. For some reason she found herself wondering about him and decided to visit his house. This time she didn't let her presence known. She was hidden completely. No one could see her. No one could hear her. Her scent was none existent. She didn't plan on talking to the boy. She knew he still has questions and she didn't feel like answering them.

When she appeared in the house Inko had just stepped through the front door. She looked utterly devastated and on the verge of tears. It wasn't hard to deduce where Izuku adopted the habit from. She had slumped against the closed door, sliding to the floor. Her emotions made themselves known to Kuriko. She had stopped eating her ice cream upon feeling them. She was sad and afraid. She felt hopeless and useless. She didn't know what to do and she was berating herself. The woman let out a shuddering breath as she rested her head on her puled up knees. She sobbed, the tears finally spilling. Her emotions increased and Kuriko could feel herself being affected by them. She made a distance. Retreated from the feelings.

Curious to know why the woman was so distressed, Kuriko picked at her thoughts.

She lost her job

Kuriko eyed her for some time. She was a nurse and made just enough to support her and her son. Now she lost that job and the money. She didn't know what she would do. She would receive a check the next day and will have to make it do until she found a new job. Izuku was constantly on her mind. She worried about him. She didn't want to tell him about anything. She didn't want to worry him. She didn't want him feeling as if he needed to get a job to help. She knew he would try to get himself employed. She didn't want that. He needed to focus on school and his dream. She wouldn't get in his way. She vowed to support him no matter what. She wouldn't make the mistake she made ten years ago. She would believe in him despite the odds

Kuriko watched the woman pick herself off the floor. She glanced at the clock as she headed towards the kitchen. She seemed determined to keep this from Izuku. Kuriko wondered how that would work out. How long would it take for this woman to get a job? Finding one isn't supper easy.

She came to check up on Izuku and ended up learning of his mother and now she growled in her anger. She was angry at herself for feeling how she did at the moment. She didn't like the sight of the struggling mother. She was a good mother to the boy. She had a good mother and she appreciated it. She wouldn't want to see Nozomi in the same state as Inko. The feelings it would bring were not pleasant

She felt those feelings as she watched the woman prepare food for her son. The only thing that mattered was her son.

Kuriko bit her lip until it bled and was quick to leave. She shouldn't have come yo the Midoriya residents. She regretted it. Now she cared. She wrinkled her nose in disgust at the realization. What is wrong with Her? Why does she find herself caring about people she hardly knows ? What goes on in their life is their business. She didn't need to interfere she didn't need to care. What happened to them was none of her business and affected her in no way.

She shouldn't care.

But she did and despite asking herself why she already knew the answer. She had admitted it even and yet it still gnaws at her. Despite everything she couldn't condemn those who suffer. Something within her wouldn't allow it. Her heart went out to them.

She appeared back in her living room. She discarded her bowl of ice cream with an angered look and stomped up the stairs.

It's all because of her damn quirk. If she wasn't so susceptible to emotions she wouldn't care so much. She wouldn't recognize the emotions and relate. She wouldn't understand and hence she would not care. Everything would be great. all she needed to care about was herself and her family. That's it. Other people have no business in her thoughts. She didn't need to help them. Nothing. She wasn't a hero.

She kicked her books on the ground, watching them scatter on the floor. She glared at them as if they did a great wrong. She hated herself. She hated her emotions . She hated the strangers she started to pity.

There wad no point to it. Caring about them wont do her any good. It's fruitless. Its all fruitless. Her friendship with Himiko. Her constant worry for the girl. Her want to make sure Izuku is doing better. Her wondering if Katsuki was capable of handling his guilt. She hated it all. They meant nothing to her. She was just using them. She just Wanted to learn more about everything. She was just studying them.

She didn't care. She could care less about what happened to them. They could die for all she cared.

She kicked her bedpost knowing it was a lie. It was all a lie.

She just didn't want to accept it all. She couldn't.

~~~~~~

Nozomi stared up the stairs in worry when she heard the noise upstairs. She was sure Kuriko was taking out her current frustration on her room. She didn't know what got her in such a state. She sighed, wandering into the kitchen to fetch Kuriko's discarded bowl of ice cream out the freezer . The girl may have abandoned her favorite treat out of anger,but she'll be craving its cold comfort after she calms down.

As Nozomi made her way up the stairs she was wondering about what had gotten Kuriko so upset. She was worried as well and wanted her to tell her what was bothering her. She sighed as she pushed the thought away. Kuriko tends to keep certain things to herself. She was sure she would not want to tell her where her anger came from. She sometimes did talk about such things, but that didn't happen very often.

She came to a stop at Kuriko's door. She heard a thump as Kuriko most likely added somethibg else to the floor. Nozomi knocked, but did not wait for Kuriko to open the door. She wasn't surprised to find the usually clean room to be a mess at the moment. Everything was everywhere and Kuriko sat under her bed, the one place that wasn't completely covered in the mess she had made.

"Ice cream? " Nozomi asked as she shut the door behind her an approached the panting Kuriko. She was staring at her gloved hands, her expression unreadable. Nozomi moved to sit next to her on the ground and placed her bowl of ice cream in Kuriko's hands. she chuckled when Kuriko immediately stuffed a spoon full into her mouth. She was sure that if the girl could moan her pleasure, she would.

"What's wrong?"

Kuriko bit down on her spoon at the question. Everything was wrong. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She was suddenly caring about everyone.

Nozomi was surprised when Kuriko actually told her what was bothering her. Her shock quickly turned into appreciation. She appreciated that Kuriko felt good enough to tell her about her troubles. And then that appreciation turned to sadness as Kuriko's troubles sunk in. She sighed as she hugged the frustrated teen. She knew that Kuriko didn't want to care about others. It was obvious enough. She may have admitted it sometimes. Nozomi didn't know how to feel about it, but she knew Kuriko was a good person despite everything. Her act of not caring was most likely a way to spare her the pain such an action could bring.

"But you care it's nothing to be ashamed of" Nozomi muttered to which Kuriko replied mentally. Apparently she wasn't ashamed of it, she just didn't like it. She didn't like what it would bring with it. "Even so"

Kuriko sighed in her mother's embrace. She's on repeat again. She let the cold of her ice crean calm her as a slid down her throat. She may as well accept it, right? As troublesome as it may be, she should just deal with it. When it comes to stab her in the back in the future she would have herself to blame.

Life is too hard sometimes.

"Feeling better? "

She shrugged.

"Anybody home!? "

Nozomi groaned when she heard Nemuri's voice. How does she get into the house? She was sure she located and reclaimed her stolen key. What more could Nemuri have up her sleeve?

Soon enough the door to Kuriko's room was thrown open. Standing in the door was Nemuri. She looked around the room and raised an eyebrow.

"What got you so upset, kid? "

Nemuri was quick to join the mother and daughter on the ground. She smiled innocently at the glare she received from Nozomi, while stealing a marshmallow from Kuriko's bowl of ice cream. Kuriko didn't like that and stabbed the woman in her stomach to make her displeasure known.

"Sharing is caring"

And caring is something she has an issue with.

~~~~~~~

Katsuki held a notebook in front of him. That was his last. He rewrote all thirteen of Izuku's hero analysis notebooks. He let his pencil roll off his table as he stared at the rewritten words. What now? He closed the book, placing it amongst the others. What now. He doesn't know. He doesn't feel any better. There was slightly relief and a feeling of redemption but his guilt towered over those emotions.

He sighed and carefully packed the notebooks in the corner of his desk. Now what? He would give these to Izuku if the thought of facing him didn't make him so uneasy. He couldn't be around him without feeling so much. They were never good feelings . Unease. Guilt. Self hatred. Anger. Sorrow.

He had himself to blame, didn't he? He did this. He broke the boy who was once his friend. He almost took a mother's son from her. He messed up badly. And worst of all he was too afraid to to openly admit any of this to anyone. He needed to tell Inko but everytime he made up his mind to do so he would chicken out. He couldn't. She'd hate him. She might hate his mother as well.

Another sigh.

He didn't know what to do.

Slipping out of his seat he fetched his jacket and left his room. Going down the stairs he passed his father, but said nothing. Coming to the door he pulled on his shoes. He didn't know where he was going but he just needed to go. Just when he was about to step out there was a hand on his head. He froze, not daring to look at his worried mother.

"Where are you going? "

"Out"

"Katsuki'

He shook her hand off and left.

"I'll be back whenever "

Mitsuki sighed and watched him walk off. He doesn't want to tell her how he feels anymore. That one day was the only time he spoke of his feelings to her. He's trying to handle it by himself and it's doing him zero good. She was very worried.

What was she supposed to do?

~~~~~~

Katsuki had his hands in his pockets as he wandered the streets. He had no destination. He just wanted out of the house to calm down. It didn't help. It made it worse. On his walk he just starting thinking about everything. That was not what he wanted. It was no help at all.

He kicked a bottle away and scoffed. He was pathetic. He doesn't deserve to be a hero. UA didn't need him. He was not worth it. He should just go to a normal school and live his pathetic life. He would never be like All Might, let alone be better than him. All Might wouldn't have abandoned his friend even if he was quirkless. The symbol of peace would never hurt those who could not defend themselves. The number one hero would never tell anyone they couldn't be a hero.

Anyone can be a hero.

He came to a stop at Dangobah park. He frowned. When was the last time he came here? It's littered with trash. People really don't think about what they're doing to the environment. He continued on. Looking over the beach as he walked pass. Someone should clean the beach.

Again he stopped. He turned to face the beach, looking down to the golden sand. There was a little heap in a corner and a familair boy carrying something towards it. Izuku ? Katsuki took a step forward, but stopped. The boy couldn't see him. He stepped back. He didn't want anything to do with him. It's best he keep away from him. Otherwise he would be on the receiving end of his emotionless gaze. He stayed out of sight and silently watched Izuku struggle with whatever it was he was carrying. He had a better build now. Katsuki noticed the improved biceps. He was training he concluded.

He wanted to go to UA.

He clenched his fist in his pockets. Was Izuku training to attend UA? Did he still want to? Katsuki was sure the boy lost his motivation. He saw him rip that stupid document to pieces. He did not intend to spy on him, he just happened to stumble upon the scene. Izuku was angry. He was muttering to himself. Katsuki didn't catch much, but he did hear him say something about UA being pointless. He didn't want to be a hero anymore.

Did he change his mind?

At least something of him remained.

Katsuki let out a frustrated groan and turned to go back home.

~~~~~~~~

He returned the next day to find Izuku there. He was doing the same as the day before. He hardly took any breaks. Katsuki stayed for hours, just watching. Izuku apparently brought nothing to eat. He didn't even have water. He worked until he was drenched in sweat and too weak to walk properly. It wasn't until dust that Izuku made to leave. Katsuki was quick to hide himself.

He watched Izuku stumble down the road with furrowed brows.

He too headed home.

~~~~~~

The next day he returned just like the last. Izuku was there again, as he expected. He was doing the same. No breaks. No food. No water. Katsuki only watched with his hands in his pocket. He didn't know what else to do. He didn't even know why he kept coming back. He was starting to feel like a stalker.

Seeing Izuku work so hard just made him hope that he wasn't completely gone. Lately he had been a completly different person. Emotionless. Uncaring. He lacked motivation. He didn't smile that kind smile. He didn't fanboy over heroes. He was someone else completely and Katsuki couldn't stand to be around him because of this. It was all his fault, he should be able to face it. But he was not strong enough to do such a thing.

Dusk came around and he left before Izuku could see him. He pulled is hood over his head, conceiling his face. He stared at the ground as he trudged back home.

He felt lost. For the first time in his life he didn't who he was. He met an obstacle on his road and he couldn't continue. At first Izuku was just a pebble in his way, now He's an immovable force that he couldn't get over.

He couldn't get over it. It was heavy on his shoulder. He wanted forgiveness. He wanted the boy to forgive him. He needed it. This guilt would not leave until he did. He will continue to break until he has been forgiven. He wouldn't forgive himself until Izuku forgave him.

Izuku refused to forgive him and it hurt.

But he deserved it, didn't he?