Chapter 13

It was week three. Izuku was observing his completely healed hands with an unreadable look in his eyes. He was in his room, sitting on his bed and just observing. It was four in the morning but he could not sleep. He's been having that problem since he landed in the hospital. He was given pills to help, but he never took them. He fell into his bed and stared at his ceiling. He had to return to school. He had to be around everyone again. He had to face them. He had to face Katsuki.

Normally he would be anxious. Afraid. But he wasn't. Ever since that day he hasn't been his old self. He hasn't felt like it. He doesn't lie to himself anymore. He doesn't believe in his dream. He doesn't believe that things will get better. He saw the world for what it truly was and he would not be blinded again. He was naive before. He was being a child. He would tell himself that he believed in his dream but looking back he knew it was lie. If he truly believed he would have done something. He would have trained his body. Get stronger. Stand up for himself. He wouldn't have remained the weak little boy he was. So timid and pathetic.

He sighed and raised a hand in the air. Everything in his room started to float. It was that easy. He learned to get some control over his new found power. It was telekinesis. It wasn't weak like his mother's. It was strong. He could lift things four times his size. The drawback was a pressure in his head. A pain. He would get a headache that was too distracting. He didn't know how he suddenly got a quirk. Was it Kuriko? Was this the power she spoke of? Did she give him what he always wanted?

He didn't believe it was possible but he had a quirk now and Kuriko was the one who gave it to him. Someone can give others quirks. He never heard of such a thing. When he thought about it he felt like he had to give something up. Nothing is ever free. He felt as if he was making a deal with the devil. The air around her was odd he realized that day.

Didn't she want something in return?

Maybe she did and maybe she had already gotten it. He wouldn't know.

He closed his eyes and rolled over to his side. He could not sleep. He already had bags under his eyes. They weren't very noticeable but they were there. He looked to his clock. Just a few more hours to go.

~~~~~~

He heard voices. He heard them. As he walked the halls he heard them talking about him. Looking at him. Judging him. He didn't look at any if them. His eyes on the floor as he made his way to his class. He hadn't gotten any sleep and in all honestly he could care less right now. His hair was a mess. Mesier than usual. His uniform wasn't pulled on as neatly as it used to be.

He just wanted this day to be over with.

There was a hand on his shoulder. Its grip was strong, forcing him to stop and turn around. He came face to face with one of Katsuki's friends, but Katsuki himself was not there. The boy was smiling menacingly as he tightened his grip on the boy's shoulder.

"So you're finally back Deku" the boy grinned and patted his shoulder as if he was greeting his friend. "You must feel pathetic huh? You couldn't even kill yourself. You really are useless"

Huh.

Izuku looked at him. Not amused. His eyes betrayed little emotion, but he smiled. The smile was seemingly innocent. It didn't go with the look in his eyes or the air around him. It was messed up. Broken.

"You're absolutely right" Izuku said in a cheery tone. The smile was gone soon after. "I'm sure you would've done a far better job at it yourself "

The boy was left to stand in shock as Izuku pulled away from him and continued on. Everyone who saw the scene was shocked. Izuku never responded to his bullies. He never spoke up. And what he had said and implyed. It was shocking to say the least. Little Deku didn't seem to be afriad. He was tired. He was sick of it.

He held the straps of his backpack loosely as he stepped into his class just as the bell made itself known. He spotted familiar hair at the door next to his own. Was that Kuriko? She went to his school? How had he not known that?

He'll talk to her later.

~~~~~

During lunch Izuku sat alone. He hadn't seen Kuriko again . She must not make herself known often. He slowly ate the sausages in his bento. He figured if she wanted to talk she'll come find him. Maybe he should leave too. He could feel everyone watching him. It wasn't very nice. The teachers had a few words with him. He wasn't paying attention. He didn't know what they were saying. He just nodded when he needed to. They don't care. They put up an act but he knew better. They were like the rest of the kids in the school.

"Hey"

Izuku looked up at the familiar voice. Katsuki stood at his chosen table, his hand resting on the surface. He didn't wear his usual scowl. He looked angry but that anger was not directed at Izuku. What did he want? Was he there to rub it into his face? To tell him that he was useless? Was he there to belittle him again?

"What is it Katsuki? "

The blonde flinched at the name and tone of voice. Izuku never called him Katsuki. It was always Kacchan. He was always annoyed by it. The name was childish and girly. He didn't want to be associated with it, but now. Having Izuku call him Katsuki with that look in his eyes. The tone in his voice. He was different. He had changed. He wasn't the Izuku he knew and tossed around.

He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Izuku stood and walked away from him. He left his lunch and everything. He just left without a glance at him. Without a word.

Katsuki could only watch him walk away with a dreadful feeling in his gut.

What had he done?

~~~~~~~

Izuku wasn't in the mood to be berated. He wasn't in the mood to be humiliated. Not today. Not tomorrow. He was done with that. He was done being a weak little boy. He was done with his pathetic dream. He was done with his so called idol. He was done with it all.

He stood by the fish pond his notebook had fell into three weeks ago. The fishes were idly swimming around. He stared into the water, meeting his reflexion. Deku. He blinked and looked away. He retrieved his backpack and pulled out the two hero analysis notebooks he currently had on him. Without a second glance he dropped them in the water and walked away. He didn't need them anymore. They were useless. What help would they be?

He didn't want to be like All Might anymore. He didn't event want to see him again. He didn't want to hear of him. He didn't want to see that smile.

Isn't he the one that said anyone can be a hero? So why did he tell him otherwise?

As he walked back into the school he felt as if he was being watched. The feeling of eyes boring into him was itense. He felt a chill. A familair feeling washed over him the longer the he walked along the halls. It was Kuriko, wasn't it? She was watching. Where was she? He couldn't see her in the crowd of students. Maybe she wasn't even there. She could be in the shadows. That seems to be something she does often. He had questions to ask, but she never came to answer them.

After school he was on his own again. He was heading home quietly. He wasn't thinking. He wasn't feeling anything. He had a quirk now, but now what? Things didn't change. They didn't seem to care that he tried to kill himself. No. They laughed in his face. Insulted him.

"Izuku"

~~~~~~~

Katsuki had followed him. He wanted, needed to talk to him. He tried to ignore the guilt he felt. He really tried but it was hard. Every night would remember the words he said to the boy. He would remember how he had beaten him. How he had treated him. He remembered it all. And for the first time in his life he felt sorry. He felt sorry for everything he had done and said. He felt sorry for all the harm he caused him. He felt sorry for being such a fool. For telling him to kill himself . For making him think he hated him. For Making him feel unwanted. He was sorry for everything .

Using his name felt odd. He had gotten used to calling him Deku. He almost did and bit his tongue to prevent the slip up. The boy had stopped at his call, slowly turning to face him. He flinch when he met those green eyes. They weren't filled with the hope of the future. They weren't bright and shining. They weren't filled with his unending kindness. There was no light in them. All light evaded his eyes. It was nothing but an emotionless stare.

"I... " There was a lump in his throat and he looked to the ground, tears building behind his eyes. He wanted to apologize. He needed to apologize for what he had done. He was a terrible person. How could he be a hero when he had driven someone to end their life. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for treating you the way I did. I'm sorry for always hurting you. I'm sorry for telling you to.. To.. "He couldn't bring himself to say the words. He felt pathetic. What would his mother think if she knew? "I'm sorry for everything"

There came no response from the boy. He couldn't bring himself to look into those eyes. He couldn't look at him. He was genuinely sorry. He wanted forgiveness but knew things were not that easy. Nothing ever was. A simple apology could not make up for ten years of torment. Nothing could.

He heard the footfalls of the boy. He was walking away from him. He hadn't said a word. Katsuki looked up, red eyes filled with sorrow as he watched Izuku walk away from him. With each step he took the pain he felt increased.

He deserves nothing less.

~~~~~~~~~

He reached his house after an unknown amount of time. Stepping in he ignored his mother's greeting. He couldn't talk to her. He hadn't spoken to her in three weeks. He hadn't said a word to her since the hospital. She tried talking to him, but nothing worked. He couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't tell his mother of what he had done. She would be heartbroken. She would be angry. She would hate him, wouldn't she. Her own son. The boy she raised as best she could told a boy to kill himself.

He didn't want her to know.

Mitsuki watched her son walk up the stairs. She was worried. She knew what he felt. She knew he was guilty and regretful. She knew he had something to do with Izuku's attempt. She knew he bullied him. She knew all along. She would talk to him. She would tell him to stop . That what he was doing was terrible and not something a hero would do. He never listened.

She was a terrible mother.

She should have stopped this before it even began. When he was younger and activated his quirk. When everyone praised him. When he let it go to his head, she should have stopped it. She should have grounded him. She should've taught him that having a strong quirk does not put him above others. She shouldn't have let him drift away from his friend. She should've talked to him and made sure he tried to at least keep their friendship going . But she let it be. She figured it was just the two growing up. As the years passed Inko and Izuku stopped coming over for dinner. She knew why. She could always see the look of fear in Izuku's eyes whenever he stepped into the house. He was afraid of her son. She knew it.

She felt terrible.

When Inko had called her, crying about Izuku. She felt absolutely terrible. Why would the boy try to kill himelself? Sweet innocent Izuku who always had a bright smile on his face. Her heart dropped at the news and she was quick to grab her son and drive to the hospital.

She knew more than she let om. His reluctance to go see the boy. His refusal to talk to her. She knows that he cries every night. She knows it all. She's his mother. It's her job. She needs to know

She just wanted him to come to her.

She sighed and headed up the stairs. He was obviously not going to do that so she'll go to him herself. She couldn't watch him beat himself up any longer. She needed to talk to him.

"Katsuki" she got to answer from behind the door. "Katsuki"

She pushed his door open. Katsuki was seated at his desk, two notebooks displayed in front of him. He was staring at them, gripping his fist.

He didn't move even as a soothing hand was on his head. He found the notebooks in the fish pond. Izuku had thrown them away. The very notebooks the boy held dear. The ones he worked so hard on. One of them was the one he had burned. Its words were hard to decypher. He had a pen and pencil on his desk along with a brand new notebook with a similar name scribbled on it.

"Katsuki" Mitsuki swivvled the chair around, making him face her. He didn't meet her eyes. He didn't even look at her. "Talk to me"

He glared down at his hands. The very hands that had hurt the boy that used to be his friend. He hurt the boy that never did him any wrong. He closed his eyes when the tears threatened to flow

Mitsuki was silent as he told her everything. Beginning to end, he told her everything. She listened and by the end she felt rage bubble up with Her. She knew he had done something but it was worse than she thought. Why would he tell the boy something like that? In her rage she wanted to hit him, but she didn't. The tears streaming down her son's face calmed her. Her rage faded and all she wanted to do was comfort him. She pulled him into a hug and he collapsed into her arms. He cried. She let him cry. She held him tightly and securely as she let the boy break down. This was wearing heavily on him.

She would be there for him.