19 Chapter 18

Ruby was impressed. Elizabeth did take her work seriously proving how all those odd shifts at Starbucks had finally paid off, and for someone who’s had her fair share of attention in a strange new town, her benign approach made the townsfolk see through Elizabeth’s woozy mishaps on the night of Founders day. A day after her start at the diner, Nolan had reduced Elizabeth’s motel charges by ten percent to Vivian’s amazement who knew her brother to be the inflexible bookkeeper of the inn. All seemed in favour of Elizabeth, but she could not get through the days without feeling guilty about her lash out at Jasper. She had apologised to everyone except the very man who truly needed to hear it.

Elizabeth’s motive to stay behind instead of going back home after Hailey’s news was to reach Harrison no matter what as she knew she was too unsettled that she could not sleep right anymore if this letter was not given. There was nothing exciting or hopeful to go back to and out of all the chaos she’s performed since the dawn of time, now was the time for her to do something right and she dwelled on the thought until it felt almost possessive.

Hence to do things right and honest, one night during Elizabeth’s second week at Chelseaville , after closing up Bitsy’s as early as seven—which was way too new for Elizabeth who habitually was inclined to indulge in milkshake and fries post-midnight in the city— she decided to visit Jasper and do the deed in person.

Though she was quite clueless about the whereabouts of him, it wasn’t hard when side walkers literally led her to the house. As she walked towards the house did she release that the whole town saw Crawford junior as a Good Samaritan just because Harrison was, and she conjectured curiously if Jasper even wanted to be the town favourite in the first place.

A few paces past the wild creeper path to the Crawford ranch on Barnfield Grove street, Elizabeth saw the limestone country French house with the blue mailbox in front. It must have been the only outstanding house on the street, and it looked nothing like something Harrison would prefer, thought Elizabeth. After gorging herself in the letter it almost felt like she knew everything about Harrison and the thought of him locked up in there made her chest heavy. The driveway was empty, but through the half-parted curtains of the windows she could see the glowing insides.

She gathered herself and walked up to the grey door. Two rings and one knock later Elizabeth hear feet shuffling, a sharp tapping on the floor, and the door unbolting.

However, the tall old man, with the neatly combed silver white hair and jaundice grey eyes, with a cane to support him was not who Elizabeth expected to see.

“Oh, uh hi I’m Elizabeth, is this the Crawford residence?”

“Yes, who’re you lookin’ for?” He asked in a raspy voice laced with annoyance.

“um Jasper. Jasper Crawford.”

“You won’t catch him tonight,” he said deadpan and Elizabeth stared at the man intently and she could not help but wonder-and she wasn’t aware of the chances of stepping back here again, so she took her chances.

“Are you Harrison Crawford?” She asked.

“Yes, how…,” his voice trailed away as he held her gaze in confusion for a while, then he scoffed lightly enough for her to see his eyes crinkle at the corners, transforming his dead pan face to something hidden, only witnessed if you’re lucky, “you’re the city girl causing a grand ruckus, aren’t ya?” He asked his tone changing to one of slight amusement.

“I guess my reputation precedes me,” Elizabeth’s said dazed by the fact that she was finally standing in front of the man from the letter.

“Well, come inside then I knew I had to see you,” he smiled welcomingly much to Elizabeth’s amazement, when she half expected an angry growl shooing her off the doorstep.

She knew she had to wait for Jasper’s sign before encountering Harrison, but this opportunity seemed one that could not be easily lost to ignorance. And who knew, maybe she could change his mind about the letter.

She nodded nervously and followed the trembling man indoors.

****

It was too apparent how irrelevant the modern applique of the house was to Harrison, when he directly led to Elizabeth to his study at the corner of the house. Elizabeth sweated nervously as she vaguely felt like she was being escorted to an interrogation room. Harrison’s study wasn’t really much of a study, it was more of a personal sanctuary dedicated to him and him only, because the moment Elizabeth walked into that spacious room filled with framed newspaper articles, ranching honorary awards by the state of Alabama and two armchairs facing one another awkwardly on the grey white carpet, she felt a wave of loneliness sweep through her.

There was a wide window right by the armchair that was open allowing the lukewarm air of the night rush in.

“You can sit,” he said and shuffled to a beverage cart against the wall.

Elizabeth sat down on the empty armchair nearby, completed with a glass coffee table, which did not include a woolen rug flung over it and old cigarette ash on the arm rest holder, which indicated it was his seat.

Harrison shuffled back to her with the cane balancing on his hand while holding two glasses of whiskey, she instinctively stood up to assist him, but he shook his head lightly which made her sit back. He set the glass in front of her and made it to his seat.

In all her nervousness her throat was parched, so she quickly took a sip of the drink, where a tangy sour sweet taste made her face change.

“Cider is the closest they’ll let me get to a bit of whiskey,” Harrison said frowning as he noticed her expression. Elizabeth almost freaked out at the paranoid thought of the old man breaking into a rage and making her tear over cider. “You okay with that Child?” He asked looking up at her apologetically.

“Yes, I love cider. It’s my thing.” Elizabeth blurted in nervousness and recoiled immediately.

Harrison shook his head looking fatigued.

“Did the town warn you about the terrifying, breaks-easily-with-a-snap Harrison Crawford?” He asked with a pair of sad eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” She said ruefully.

“It’s alright, I deserve it,” he shrugged his shoulders lightly and settled back on the maroon leathered armchair, turning his attention to the window and whatever was outside it. Elizabeth took her time to really see this man in his sweater, clean ironed pants and slip-ons, tucked away in a comfort, that he did not feel, away from the soul of the town and something heavier tugged in her heart. In that moment it was not hard to picture the Harrison Crawford Hope had talked about from years ago.

“Mr. Crawford, I’m just going to put it out there,” she began, “ I know I did something no normal person would do- to fly miles for a letter,” she paused and laughed in shock at her own actions as if she was hearing it clear as daylight for the first time, “but I did it for an unspeakable reason, which I know only you would understand.” Her voice turned off.

Harrison had now broken his gaze from the window and was looking at her with his intent grey eyes in silent, waiting for her to go on.

“I’ve got nothing extravagant for you to hear, except that you should see this letter. I know Hailey said you didn’t want anything to do with it after the way I treated Jasper,”

“Hailey?” He asked narrowing his eyes.

“Yes, and I’m so sorry, for the trouble I’ve caused,” she continued and reached into her bag, “I truly am.”

When she pulled out the envelope she was glad to see it was still the way she had glued it back on and placed it back on the letter.

“Call me crazy, throw it away and laugh it off, but deep down you know Hope would never write a letter just to be stacked away for twenty-four years.” She thought he would stir at the name of Hope, but he remained the same and still.

“I don’t think I should be here when Jasper gets home,” Elizabeth stood up. Harrison stayed back on his seat now staring at the coffee table, deadpan.

“I hope you know that I’m trying to help you and not disturb you in anyway.”

He briefly glanced at her with gentle eyes, but it was a farce as she could easily see the weight and guilt that darkened them so visibly as if he were caged within. When he turned back to the table she knew it was her cue to leave. As she stepped out into the crisp cool air of the night, for the first time her since her first day in Chelseaville, she felt that her body was light enough to be blown away by the mid-September winds.

*****

Elizabeth was over the moon for accomplishing a successful mission and she was aware of the fact that she had breached Jasper’s privacy, but it didn’t matter when she knew he would come around after Harrison had read the letter. She had never been so confident about an imminent positive turn of events. Harrison wasn’t a conversationalist, but she had a promising feeling about tomorrow.

When Elizabeth reached the BnB, Vivian and the girls were not there to be found but the porch lights were lit, which meant they had headed back home. It was just the cusp of the night, but the entire neighbourhood felt as if it was in a deep slumber with the crickets taking over their early night shift. Elizabeth felt too elated that she could not take off the bliss on her face. She walked in using the key Vivian hid in a not-so-secret spot under the carpet and let herself in.

With the musings of Harrison Crawford finally opening that envelope clouding her head she did not see Nolan seated on the couch reading.

“Oh he—

“No!” She screamed and turned to her side swiftly that she dropped her bag and the keys. When she saw Nolan scrunching his face apologetically, she titled her head back and leaned against the door laughing at her own jumpiness.

“Now that’s a first,” he smiled. The laugh slowed down to a smile as she looked up at him,

“What are you doing here all alone?”

“I had to stay back for you,” he said and kept the book away, standing up.

“What?” She asked, rather curious than annoyed.

“I have to keep up with my guests Miss Hartley,” he said as a matter of fact, “so are you going to tell me who’s responsible for that glow on your face?”

“You’re looking at the girl who finally did the deed,” she smirked. Nolan frowned in confusion, before his eyes widened slowly, just when Elizabeth thought he was someone who could never be impressed.

“You finally met old Harrison?” He smiled appreciatively.

She nodded her head beaming, the ecstasy of it all flowing in from places she could not guess and walked up to him where he was standing near the couch.

“I fixed a problem,”

Nolan paused and jerked his head back an inch to take in the wholesome look on Elizabeth’s face. She was truly bubbling with happiness so much so it made him forget things he would usually consider.

“Well if not you who then?” He said to no one in particular and smiled at her.

Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat as she heard the same low tone in his voice and saw the same gaze he held back at the lake. The way someone would look at something to figure out if it were real or not. The living room was silent and the only sounds that surrounded the air were the persistent chirps of the crickets that seeped through the tiny gaps under the windows, and the lampshade beside the couch which lighted the space around them.

While the place slowed down around them, Elizabeth couldn’t help picturing a dance floor where the singing chirps would be the song and now that they had heard it , it seemed a sign inviting them to the carpeted dance floor before them. Though her fantastical thoughts were abuzz, her gaze was hooked onto Nolan’s. she sharpened her eyes and looked at him as the staring contest turned into a comfort rather than a plight— his messy brown hair that was never orderly, and the blue eyes which twirled into a deep shade of green, like emeralds glittering in shallow waters, which was all becoming attractive to her, as if she was seeing Nolan woods for the first when she’d been around him for a week and a half to be precise. A week and a half and he was suddenly different.

“I’m— it’s gettin late, I should be off,” he said hastily and broke her gaze, as he always did. Elizabeth snapped out of her reverie and looked at Nolan in mild surprise.

It dawned upon her that she did not want him to leave. It was so clear, for once something did not make her twirl mechanically, confused like a clockwork toy with rusted cogs. He nodded his head at the ground and hastily walked past Elizabeth, his shoulder lightly touching hers, and before she knew it she pulled the cuff of his sleeve with her fingers and stopped him.

“Nolan,” she said, and he jerked his walk to a halt and followed the direction in which Elizabeth dragged the cuff of his sleeve, obediently until he was facing her. She looked up at him, searching for answers.

“What was that?” She asked slowly, her breath heavy at the shock of having him so close to her.

“What was what?’ He asked looking down at her with a look of curiosity for disguise which was beginning to fall as he focused his gaze on her.

Elizabeth felt her throat begin to feel dry.

“Tha-that – where you’re looking at me like you want to say something, but you won’t. Just like at the lake.”

Nolan looked at her for a while and thought of a bluff to conjure, but he knew only he would be fooled. She was smart and he’d lose miserably, than he already had.

Elizabeth who was now too curious to know what he wanted to say, forgot she was just inches away from Nolan, too close that his breath tickled her collarbone.

“What do you want to say ?” Her voice was now a whisper as he was too close to her. Nolan did not back away.

“What do you want me to say, Elizabeth?” He asked his voice heavy and husky as he struggled to maintain a whisper or even speak with her so close to him.

“That’s not fair,” she said frustrated. He broke into a vain smile, his eyes dull and weary, tired of keeping them awake.

“Just like you are leaving in a few days isn’t it?” He said, his lips almost brushing here. Elizabeth stared at him, her lips parted, like a half-opened bud, she wanted to speak, but she had nothing to say. He looked away, a frown forming on his brows and pulled back. “Goodnight Liz.”

After he moved out of her view, she felt a rush of cold air fill up the place.

“Is that what you do Nolan? You don’t take a chance unless you know it’s for keeps?” She turned around too focused on his presence rather than her words. Nolan stopped by the door and looked back at her, brows drawn together and eyes dark, like he was angry and hurt at the same time. She felt a sharp stab of pain in her chest at the sight.

He smiled pitifully and Elizabeth drew a breath at the look she always dreaded from anyone.

“I wouldn’t take that chance, knowin’ you wouldn’t too.”

She looked at him dubiously, her mouth pursed into a line.

“What are you saying?” Her eyes were frozen at him now. He walked right up to her, once again inches away from her and traced his eyes over her nonchalantly, that she felt her skin tingle.

“Look at you Elizabeth, you travel all over the world and how many men have set their eyes on you, wanting you and yet you flew past all of them deciding to be alone,” his voice was strained, “because you’re picky and stubborn. Now I suck at readin’ people, but every time I look at you, your eyes are telling me you’ve picked a commoner from this musty town, but you wouldn’t make a move, unless you feel safe. Safe enough that you will never get to hurt them. I’d pick you up right now and take you, but I know you’d always hate yourself later, when you’re back home and I don’t want to hear or imagine that you’re hating yourself because of me.” He let out a rattling breath that made his whole-body shiver lightly while Elizabeth stood there paralysed. She wanted to push him away for saying a lot of words, but he was right, and it made her feel cold, bare and exposed.

“You wouldn’t know that.” She said under her breath.

“If I’m wrong I’ll stay,” he said his voice hopeful, but firm, “I’ll stay. I know I want to.”

Before she could even think Elizabeth’s hand went up to his chest involuntarily like a sharp reflex and she instantly felt hairs on the back of her neck prickle as she touched him. She felt no pressure on her palm from his side as if he had premeditated her reaction. A sad smile lined out on his face, he shook his head and turned away slowly as her hand fell limping beside her and stepped outside without a word, closing the door behind him, unaware of his actions except for Elizabeth who stood still numbed by the look of disappointment he had tried to hide.

*****

After Nolan left Elizabeth went back to her room, and it was then only did she realise how quiet the whole inn was and how she had forgotten the chirp of the crickets as she had been holding her breath. When she sat on the edge of her bed she tried to fight the sting in her eyes that she had been feeling for the past few minutes since Nolan had spoken those words that would not stop running in her mind.

She stripped off her clothes and dragged herself to the shower, and as the first sprays of water pricked her back, she gasped in anguish forgetting that the showers here preferred to torture their victims. She leaned against the wall until the warm water pitter pattered sluggishly, and when the steam finally began clouding in swirls she ducked under the shower in relief. The moment the scalding water touched her face, skin and hair tangled by the scorched dusty breeze, she felt the tears pour out uncontrollably, making her face hurt in the process. she cried silent tears ,that were drowned by the shower’s whirr, confused, and amazed at the same time about the stranger from this town who could read her so well it stung her.