Chapter 3: Reason is not always logic

----Ragens POV----

How could my aunt even accuse me of being shy? Of course, I felt sorry for the girl but there's no way that I could have saved her for it is highly inappropriate that I make contact with her without her approval. If only she asked for my help then surely I would have gotten my permission to touch even a single strand of her hair. People always believe that our expressions reflect what's on our mind but I doubt that is the case. Well, at least not for all of us but we don't know for sure the conditions for each individual. Anyways, that scenario turned into a big dinner gathering in the Doctors home after he and another classmate of mine arrived which led to them wondering about it as well. We sat on a circular table like the legend of King Arthur and his knights discussing the event while savouring a hearty meal. It turns out that two of my classmates (Nabyuk and Delu) have been on my trail while another two schoolmates were my neighbour (Karne and Vylemor). The Doctor took the opportunity to invite us to dinner because of what happened yesterday and for the two stalkers who turns out to be helping his son Vylemor. It is strange though, I can't see the one who slept under the rain.

"Doctor, I can't see the young lady from yesterday. Perhaps she caught a cold?" Nice one aunt Arte. I'm a little curious myself. I've never seen anybody does what she did or what she does except a drunken one or a hopeless grunt.

"Her name is Yvelmor or put simply, Yve. My daughter is traveling as of now and I don't know when she might return but she is hard to locate." Now that's something to look forward to but she is still my age.

"Yve must be a bright child but what about her studies?" I just thought that Arte might be mind reading me because if not, just how does she know what I want to ask the most?

"Lady Officer, my twin sister is of course interested in her studies however she feels restricted at school. She believes that she must pursue knowledge in a way that she is free to act on it. Education can be accessed in any way possible and it doesn't have to be at school. She had been on it for 3 years by now which earned her accomplishments higher than most professionals in the world could have done."

Wow aunt Arte, you're feeling young today. So someone does use lady to label women in this age and time. And the reason why I thought that Vylemor looked familiar is because he is Yvelmor's twin brother. Although, there is a possibility that Dr.Dechat is not their biological father because no matter how I look at it they don't match anywhere.

"I didn't know Vylemor had a twin sister. You've always been secretive but I always will find out secrets eventually." Nabyuk, the president of the newspaper club and major writer, always goes anonymous plus major talkative radio broadcaster. She is the friend of Delu or is she? Who knows what goes inside the head of this human. No matter, she will not find any secrets of mine.

"Oh, much like my nephew here. He began authoring books at a tender age of 10. He can already fend for himself but I brought him here as my company."

Shoot! I have to escape. Talking about someone else might be fun but when the discussion turns to your direction, I find it very uncomfortable. I don't even know a single thing about the books or of myself.

"For real? Well then, tell us about it for we might be interested in buying some for ourselves." That was a fast move and the look in her eye did not escape my vision. She was the one throwing daggers at me during my introduction. I wonder why that is. And something stranger than the strangest is the feeling that I've been with her before. It felt like I'd known her for a long time like how I felt with Yvelmor. I can't shake the feeling that she somehow looked so familiar especially when she glares at me like that. But of course, I knew it is futile for I cannot remember all things I'd somehow forgotten the day before.

"That's a nice scoop. I will make sure to write about it for tomorrow's paper." My books aren't something worth flaunting about! They'll get themselves killed if they so much as make them public but thank goodness for me, my books don't carry my name around. That is one of my top ten reminders I never get tired hearing of every waking hour since I could not recall listening to it before.

"But Nabyuk, You need the permission of the great author for that." She's not hiding her intentions from anybody. Delu Decade obviously despises me and I don't even know the reason why. I was always careful about my actions and I never have spoken any unnecessary information nor did I falsify information. Humans really are hard to deal with. If it weren't for my aunt who begged for me to come join her and attend school, I would not have taken the trouble of delaying my works to this extent. That is the sense of the situation I am in.

"Young ladies, I believe that you don't need any permission to right about my nephew and his books. If he won't talk, you can come to me instead. I know a lot of things about him."

That hot seat is finally over. The only reason I agreed was so I could check for myself the one who slept under the rain before I forget her like all others but she wasn't even there. But darn, I couldn't even remember her name. I know the letters are just the same with her twin brother but I couldn't remember his name as well. I couldn't ask anybody about this because they might suspect something out of it. Argh! Just why do I keep on forgetting everything. It was always this way for me and I know aunt Arte can provide the answers I need if I just ask but I have this lingering feeling that I better not. According to my book, it was two years ago when I stopped going to school and started writing books instead. It was hard to keep a single memory but easy to write ideas as though they were just coming out naturally like the flowers when the warmth of the sun meets them. But still, I wondered if flowers can also bloom under the moonlight. I will only know if I have the resilience to watch and wait for a result that may or may not come. Thus, my world only revolves in the present time without a past or a future.

My memories are by no means exceptional but only for a period of time and after that, I forget everything. I am much smarter than any human I've ever encountered but I am equally just as dumb when my head's an empty shell. Perhaps, this is the restriction I am given.

Again, I see a figure in the rain. I couldn't possibly know. I looked closer and there she goes again. If it was a tear or was just rain, nobody knows. Every day when the rain visits, I see her in her usual place. When the sun reigns and the butterflies were flying around, she was there. Sometimes, I can sense her grief tormenting her soul and sometimes I can sense unparalleled happiness emanating from within. It was a beautiful sight.

The rhythm of the visit was recorded not in my memories but somewhere else inside of me. The anticipation creates a deep revolting anxiety, begging myself to hold on but everything slips away under the pretense of nothingness. It was an inevitable rhyme of the score played by time as I strain myself for this bedraggled, faceless shadow.

One step, two, three and as predicted, the gate indicates a human attempting to make contact. I was wrong, it isn't even human. Just a package waiting on its own but what a day, I must be confused. This is more than a tease or a joke, much less a prank. "Do investigate the matter."

Huh, the vicinity is quite empty like it always was. "Are you not curious about it?" There it goes again.

Perhaps it would be for the best if I left it here and retire for I must be imagining things. 'No, don't leave it there. It's dangerous. Deliver it to where it belongs.'

The voice wasn't from anywhere outside but was from inside my brain. It was my voice speaking to me and I do not understand if I in all these madness went crazy and am going to be put in an asylum for the rest of my life.

Did Arte foresee this happening and that's why she is keeping a close eye on me by inviting me to her dwelling?

'Look around,' the voice told me. I did and caught a glimpse of several shadowy humans in the area. 'This can't be good. My hallucinations have gotten worse and I am surprisingly easily tricked by my own mind. Something I cannot easily convince once it decided on a path to take.'

'And where might this nephew of mine plan to go?' Arte!

'Did you see someone suspiciously loitering around here lately? They're not in the open area for they have completely concealed their presence but I have this itchy feeling that I am being monitored by several people at once.'

Arte didn't move her head around in an obvious manner but she scanned the area to confirm my suspicions. 'I see them alright but to what purpose?'

'Is it dangerous?' For some reason, I was bothered by the fact that someone is watching the every move of the people in the estate especially when there's one who carelessly sleeps under poor weather conditions.

'I don't know. They could be thieves or the media. Apparently, our neighbours next door have some big secrets up and about but you should take considerable precautions too just in case.'

I rang the doorbell and left the package by the doorway as I heard footsteps from the inside. The doctor came out and searched for the ringer but found none except the package.

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I feel like crap all of a sudden. My head is spinning like crazy as though about to recall something very important but then it would completely go away. It was akin to the feeling of wanting to throw up but it just hangs in the thread like bait without a catch.

'Try to remember. Will the memories out and they will obey.' The pang of pain would not leave my head and it felt like my skull's going to split in two. I stayed in bed fighting all the pain and wished it would go away. I wouldn't mind if I continue to forget as long as this endless string of pain would cease to exist.

'Don't tell me that you've grown weak after all your arrogant talks.' The voice in my head laughed at me in mockery.

'I'm disappointed that I am you. I refuse to acknowledge someone who doesn't have a will or two.'

I fell off the bed and got myself another blue spot on my knee. I forced myself to stand up and braced myself on the wall. 'Come on, o great mortal author. You have a duty to attend and catch up to. You can't sit around forever in this boring life of yours.'

My visions are getting blurry and I began to sweat profusely but I am persistent that it was all but a trick of the mind. The wall was perfect antidote for me as I did a head-butt with it, 'Get out of my head.' I repeated the action until I passed out cold.

'Hypocrite, now you are one of the humans you labelled as stupid and foolish.'

The next day, the head phone did not play a reminder. I did not think that I forgot because I can't remember anything, even the reminder. I just laid there like someone with amnesia. I suddenly got the urge to walk around when I spotted a female human sleeping near the fountain.

Trying to find the exit was futile no matter how much I looked and looked until I hit a certain idea. I went back to my room and opened the windows. It was a dangerous way but I just had to go where I was led. My grip is as white as stone but I searched for footing to the way down with careful tests.

'And now, this is the stupidest of ideas you have ever made in your multiple lives.' The voice came back to taunt me even more and lead me out of focus.

'Just let it rest, okay.' I unconsciously replied to the voice from the irritation and frustration. I was stuck midway but found none to proceed and yet I could not bear the idea of going back. My muscles are already protesting from the pressure that I knew I'd just fail miserably. I looked down and contemplated whether to jump or find a better way but I got taken off guard by an unforeseen comment, 'what on Earth are you doing up there? Don't you have a door?'

In that instant, I lost my footing and ungraciously fell, successfully throwing myself into the bush for cushion. In my most unfortunate fall, the bush where I have thrown myself is covered in thorns. I knew it when I felt it. I got cuts from all places the thorn and the stem could penetrate. It was a struggle to free myself from that hell of a cushion that it made matters worse when I forced myself off of it.

'I bet that hurts a ton. It's a good thing your gadget isn't broken,' the female human said as she held a headphone to me.

'You speak like we have met before. Is that thing mine?' I get the feeling we did but I still want confirmation.

'Please tell me you're joking.' She placed the headphone to her ears and listened to it. 'I thought this was just you making fun of me but it seems I was wrong.'

'I am in no place to joke in this condition,' I walked past her and settled on the fountain to clean my cuts. 'And what do you mean by 'this' exactly?'

To hell with all these itchiness and painfulness. I want to badly scratch them but I knew they'd only bleed and scar in the process. That would be so horrible for me to wear the scars of my own stupidity over a child's curiosity.

There was no reply for a moment but she did give her answer by putting the headphone on my head and leaving without a single word. 'Is she some kind of wild human being who behaves irrationally?'

'What did you do now? Why are you looking like a ragdoll pierced with needles by some witch R-gens?'

Figures, it was Arte who appeared the moment the female human decided to leave me again. It was a familiar scenario but how will I explain things I kept as secret for almost my entire life? The headphone explained it all to me but the reminders were from previous days which were only replayed.

'I played catch me with some bush. I didn't know it had thorns hidden by all those eye-catching flowers and deceiving leaves covering them all.'

'Hold on R-gens. I have to record that beautifully crafted art.'

'Arte, do you really think that I in my sliced and diced state can be considered art.?' 'Awe, reason is not always logic you poor confused self of mine.'

'Now that you mention it, you do make a fine piece of art. Now, don't you move from that fountain. I have to commemorate the birth of yet another art.' And click, she's done it. haha..