Reminiscing the Past

Dr. Jerome, the psychologist was Sam's father's friend. About 18 years ago when Dr. Jerome left for abroad for his doctorate, he and Sam's father disunited. Meanwhile, Sam's father passed away, but there had not been any correspondence with Dr. Jerome. After such a long time, Sam had no idea where Dr. Jerome dwells so he learned about his whereabouts through a friend. As soon as he managed to get Dr. Jerome's contact number, he made a call to him. After giving a brief introduction about him, Sam revealed his desire to meet him. Dr. Jerome invited him to his clinic.

The next day saw Sam waiting for his turn in Dr. Jerome's 'New Age Clinic'. Their reunion was going to take place after 18 years. It took Sam 30 minutes to take his turn to be seated in front of Doctor Jerome.

Dr. Jerome had earned his doctorate in psychology from a local university. Besides rendering his services as a professor at a local university, he was running his clinic. He was far not young; he was in his late 50's. Life had left a deep imprint on his face. His eyes were not as sharp as before. His balding head spoke volumes about his aging. He was dressed plainly, but elegantly. He wore an accurately ironed check shirt, buttoned all the way up. The collar and the sleeves of the shirt were well starched although it was not new.

"Hello Dr. Jerome! … Sam knocked and entered Dr. Jerome's room.

"Hi… Mr. Sam! Glad to see you! Where had you been? Dr. Jerome stood and embraced him.

"Nice seeing you doctor. Yes. It has been a long time!" Sam's reply was brisk. "Actually what brought me here is that I'm working as an investigative reporter with a local magazine. I need your help concerning a lady, whom I am studying lately." Without beating about the bush, Sam came to the point.

"Sure … what is her ailment?" Dr. Jerome replied interestingly.

"Her name is Jennifer and her condition is gravely mysterious. I could not ignore it…. and wanted to unravel it as well as wish her to recover soon... I need your help…" Sam burst out in one go.

"How is her demeanor?" Dr. Jerome was intrigued.

Sam unfolded and expressed every bit of detail about Jennifer to Dr. Jerome and showed his deep interest to bring her back to normality.

"Her condition seems to be grim as it conceals a lot of mysteries. I need to discuss it with you more in detail about it. Unfortunately, it's not possible here in my clinic because of the number of patients in the queue. However, if you could join me this Sunday at evening tea at my house, that would be great." Dr. Jerome invited Sam.

After a few mixed feelings of 'yes' or 'no', Sam asked the time of the conclave and agreed to meet up with him on Sunday.

The Sunday evening arrived soon and Sam found himself standing in front of Dr. Jerome's apartment, ringing his doorbell. He did not have to keep himself waiting as Dr. Jerome appeared soon wearing a warm grin on his face and ushered Sam inside his apartment.

"Please feel at home, I'll be back in a while…"  Dr. Jerome left to change his dress.

"Sure…" Sam's reply was swift.

By the time Dr. Jerome went inside his bedroom to change his outfit and made Sam seated, Sam had a detailed look at the interior. It seemed to be an apartment with three bedrooms, a living room, and a kitchen. Sam had never been to Dr. Jerome's apartment before. Although the outside of the apartment was simple, its inside decoration was wonderful. The living room was furnished with stylish wooden furniture, expensive colorful tiles, a startling chandelier, lavish sofas, and a glass-top wooden base table in the center.  The interior was painted a beige color. The front wall sported an eye-catching huge artwork, which caught Sam's attention. The painting bore two men and a lady sitting around a large rounded counter with coffee mugs in front of them. It seemed to be a coffee shop or a bar. Of the three, one man was inside behind the counter who looked to be filling a cup to serve a drink and might be conversing with the man and the woman sitting together at the end of the counter. The man sitting with the lady looked sad and lonely or maybe deep in thought. He appeared to be looking down, which gave him a sad appearance. It looked like that it was painted with oil paints because of looking down, which gave him a gloomy appearance. It seemed that it was painted with oil paints because of the smooth appearing texture, and the deepness and solidness of the colors.

When Dr. Jerome returned, he found Sam deeply immersed in the painting on the wall. He intervened, "It seems you like the painting?"

"I was just pondering what message this painting passes." Sam spoke unhesitatingly, "Whose work is it?"

"It was created by Edward Hopper. My wife dotted on this painting while we were visiting an art studio in San Paulo after a few months of our wedlock. It looks like an original piece, but it's not; it's not bonafide!"

"Oh…. but. It's absolutely a marvelous piece of work!  Can I meet your wife?" Sam looked around.

"She departed from this mundane world long back…" Dr. Jerome fell into the gloom.

"Oh so sorry! What happened? Sam gushed.

"It was a collision…anyway; I'll share it some other time. Would you care for a cup of tea or coffee? Doctor Jerome asked.

"I'm craving for tea…" Sam responded with a stretching grin.

Shortly, Dr. Jerome showed up carrying a tray bearing a kettle and two cups. "Let's come to the point about that lady… What is her name? Dr. Jerome nicely arranged two tea cups and a kettle on the table. He poured the tea into both the cups and offered one to Sam."

"Jennifer… Jennifer Desouza," Sam replied while lifting his cup.

"You know when you briefed me about Jennifer's demeanor, I fell into reminiscing my past; Just a couple of months before her sad demise, Sheeza's behavior was similar to what you disclosed about Jennifer." Dr. Jerome took a sip of the hot tea and then rested his cup on the table.

"It seems your past is full of mysteries as well, Dr. Jerome. Since I'm a journalist and am always on the hunt for enticing stories, I'd love if you could share a bit from your life." Sam surfaced his fascination.

"Ok, dear…" Dr. Jerome took the last sip of the warm tea followed by a deep breath and then began:

(Dr. Jerome began narrating his life story)

"When I was young even younger than you, had completed my Master in Psychology and working as an apprentice, I was in search of a better half because of my mother's intense wish. Once at a party, a girl caught my eye. I approached her a bit closer while she was conversing with one of my cousins. I was mesmerized; she was the epitome of beauty, which I encountered for the first time in my life. Dressed elegantly, she looked adorable. For all her chic thinness she has an almost breakfast cereal air of health. Her mouth was sported with full lips, her nose elegantly straight and delicate, her skin fair, clear, and glowing, her eyes beady but shuttered, her hair long, loose, dark, and luxuriant. She could be anywhere between 23 and 25 years old with an average build and height. She looked tolerant and easygoing. I took courage and greeted her. She greeted back briskly. Her eyes peered through a wild tangle of hair like those of a cornered animal. Her natural scent seemed to prevail over her worn GUCCI BLOOM. Every speck of her breathing out air overrode the ubiquitous exorbitant fragrances in the hall. Love filled my soul."

"Who wouldn't like to have her as his wife?" I mumbled to myself.

"Sniffing her exhaling aroma lifted my spirit and I began feeling playful... My name is Jerome and I'm a psychiatrist by profession."

"Oh, I see! You are a professional, not an amateur shrink", Wearing a broad smile on her face, she demonstrated humor in her reply. Her smile was more infectious than an epidemic. She was fragile and intelligent in expression. She sported makeup with intense concentration and appreciation, applying lipstick and eye makeup. Her this attitude unmasked her strength of being extrovert and jovial, which I adored.

"You're right... an apprentice, not a layman." I giggled.

"Sheeza… Sheeza… come here for a moment…" Someone called out her name…"Excuse me… catch up with you then…" She turned to walk away.

"Sure… "I replied in a dead voice.  "Hmmm… her name is Sheeza…" I mumbled to myself.

The moment I turned around, I bumped into Albert. "I know where you are up to man! But that brown-eyed brunette is not your domain." He nudged me and tittered.

"A jealous heart finds no room for true affection!" I scorned.

"What do I have to be jealous about? Your eyes deceived you! " His reply was rapid.

She is gorgeous! Who is she by the way and why not my domain?" I asked inquisitively.

"She is the only daughter of my paternal uncle's brother-in-law… and much pampered."  He expressed.

"Oh… very close relative!" I guffawed.

"Sheeza lives with her parents in Brazil... Her father has a garment business there…..and her fiancé Dylan lives in Canada. Dylan is a software engineer and wishes Sheeza to live with him in Canada after marriage.  But there is a glimmer of hope for you…" Albert blurted out in one go.

"What?" My eyes lit up with exhilaration.

Albert looked at me with a grin on his face and continued, "Being conservative, Sheeza's parents are reluctant to send their only daughter far away from them, whereas Dylan has settled very well in Ottawa and does not want to move. If this quandary is not sorted out shortly, there will be an imminent breakup."

"And what about Sheeza? What is her preference?" I showed my interest.

"Sheeza loves her parents more than Dylan so she does not want to hurt them," Albert replied and then we moved to the dining area to treat ourselves to the sumptuous feast.

That night I slept fitfully, contemplating how it could be possible to wed Sheeza. "She would be mine if she is destined to be mine, nothing can stop it." I consoled myself.

In the morning, gazing at my puffy eyes, my mom enquired, "You look to be in the Soup? What's the matter with you, my boy?"

"Oh, Mom! Nothing important…" I tried to cover up.

"Dear..! I'm your mom…. come on, share it with me…" My mom insisted.

"Yesterday, I happened to interact with Sheeza in the party…. and inadvertently…. I was smitten with her; I fell for her…she is cool and charismatic… I can't explain how her eyes, her voice, her hair, and her body give me butterflies. Although I was with her just for a few moments, her smiles made my heart skip a beat and I felt so complete!" I vocalized.

"You seem to be so much involved, but you know she is already..." My mom tried to express herself, but I intervened, "Yeah mom…  I had a chat with Albert on this topic; she is engaged with Dylan… but there is a hope… if both parties persist in their stance, Dylan and Sheeza will part ways."

"I'm not sure about that… but dear… there are several girls in our relatives or our neighbors; Caroline, Melinda… and what about Nancy? She is damn pretty …" Mom put up some proposals before me.

"Mom… I've seen very many beautiful girls and been awestruck but never fell for them… mom… you know love is not infatuation! Love is a deep affection for someone that lasts the test of time. It changes your world… consumes it with a burning flame that does not abate. Love is a powerful feeling that controls all your psychological and physical matters...  you never pre-plan or intend to love someone… It sparks within you… unnoticed… and you are obsessed and possessed. Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it. I fell for her at our maiden rendezvous. I never believed in love at first sight until yesterday when that special person came along and stole my heart. No matter how much time goes by I'll never forget her look, her smile, and her natural fragrance.

"It proves that you're not only a psychologist but also a philosopher, a Romeo, who is in the sea of love…"My mom giggled.

"Voila! I feel Sheeza is my soul mate…" I pronounced.

It's one-sided. How could you say she also feels the same?" Argued my mom.

"I admit that one of the greatest pain and agony is one-sided love with someone. But I don't know why I'm still hoping, maybe because in my dream she is mine." I opened my heart to my mom.

"Why don't you call her and let her know how you feel about her?" Suggested my mom.

"No way… no call… no messages… nothing... because she's already engaged…but there is a power of my brain and I feel like I'm waiting for something that might happen sooner or later and I'll be honored to call her mine any time…. I'll keep waiting for her! " I refuted my mom.

"It would cause you nothing but grief," she uttered grievously… halted for a moment and then continued… "Ok, dear… you know your ways better… I've got to go to the market for grocery shopping… I'll be back in two hours," my mom set out, leaving me thinking about what I should do then.

"It took me more than a week to brush aside pondering about Sheeza and focus on my career and studies. Meanwhile, when I heard the news from my mother that Sheeza's parents and Dylan had come to an agreement and they were tying the knot the next month, I was shattered into pieces. I felt the earth slip under my feet. At one moment I wished I were a little boy again because skinned knees are easier to fix than a broken heart. At another moment the intellectual man inside me consoled, "Pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver and heartbreak makes you wiser."  And I mumbled, "Thank you Sheeza."  However, I knew it would be a hard nut to crack to convince my heart and soul of something my mind knows is true. It would have to take spells of aching and would give me several sleepless nights, but as my mind saw it between times it would let me enjoy life as if there were no matter with it.

Anyway, time flew like an arrow and I completed my doctorate and took up a faculty position at a local university. One day while I was sitting in a library, I received a call from Albert. "Hey there! What's up?

"Just reading an article," I replied plainly.

"You know … your crush's wedlock has been crushed out!" He burst out

"What do you mean?" I pretended not to grasp an iota of what he uttered.

"I mean that your Sweetheart Sheeza and Dylan have parted ways." He explained.

"When, how, why? " I bombarded with an array of questions.

"Simply they were not made for each other so could not get along and divorced last week. Sheeza has returned to her parents in Sau Paulo. You can try man if you still have feelings for her." He flashed out a bit of good news to me.

"So sad to learn that… I'm ambivalent! Euphoria tinged with gloom…!"  I replied with a bittersweet grin on my face.

A sort of dissimulation prevailed upon me when I passed this news to my mom. I looked sad but was excited within, whereas my mom was elated.

In a few months, plans were made to send my proposal to Sheeza. Her parents agreed because they were desirous that Sheeza should start over. When she was informed about my wish, she fancied my proposal and recalled our brief interaction at the party, where the words exchanged between us had engrossed in her memory. As per her parents' wish, my mom and I planned to make a trip to Brazil for our marriage.

At the Guarulhos International Airport, Sao Paulo, I was shocked when I met her first time after her divorce; her weakness was written all around her face; dull complexion, sagging cheeks, and dark-circled-sunken eyes. I thought her condition was because of her breakup stress, but I was wrong. I was elated that our wedding took place because I believe that there is many a slip between the cup and the lip. On her parents' wish, my mother and I had to settle in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

San Paulo is Brazil's largest city and a significant destination for business and pleasure. The city is a huge, tall, congested, urban business jungle with a few museums, good restaurants, and shopping malls. I rented a flat on Alameda Sarutaia Street, which is a very quiet place in the leafy neighborhood of Jardim, just off Paulista, the main avenue that runs through the center of Sao Paulo.

In the beginning, things were hard; however, every passing day brought success to me.  I always believed that if you want a better world you have to create one because if you just sit around waiting for a better world, it will never come. So I embarked on the practice of psychology in my clinic there. In the beginning, it was so-so, but, I was optimistic that there was a silver lining in the clouds for me to flourish.

Sheeza and I continued leading happy married life until one day I sensed something, which I had never anticipated. We had hardly two years of marriage, and there I felt a visible change in Sheeza's demeanor. Because there was already a decline in Sheeza's facial femininity since I had met her at the party, it decreased further. Shortly, after our wedding, her behavior had been replaced by a strange attitude, which I was not used to seeing; she became less tolerant and short-tempered. I was, particularly, thunderstruck when she sparked arguments over small issues and bickered over trifles to keep her distance from me, particularly, showing no interest in intimacy. On top of that several times, I noticed her soliloquy in the middle of the night. Is she talking to herself or spending nights with someone? Surveillance cameras showed none; I was perplexed. To our neighbors, our apartment was haunted, but I never believed in paranormal myths."

"Oh! It's horrible… and then you decided to divorce her?" Sam intervened.

"Do you know Sam, love for a beloved in your heart of heart? I never divorced her because her love is what I have inside me…. life is short…. and mine will end too like hers.  But her love is in my soul; it will travel with it to a place where our both souls will reunite."

"I'm so sorry to hear that! I count your loss as my loss… your grief as my own… How did it happen? Sam condoled.

"It was a car crash. Although I was committed to diagnosing her plight, getting her medicated, and bringing her back to normality, things unrolled the other way around. Sometimes, you think that you can plan and shape things as per your need with the power of your patience and motivation, but things unfold the way you never thought of." Dr. Jerome took a deep breath and continued. "I know life has passed; Love is what I have inside. You may think you have everything planned, but life flows like water and goes where it must. After her sad demise, I couldn't live in Sao Paulo.

People rumored that it was a murder:  a murder committed by a ghoul with whom she had a relationship and then she wanted to get rid of the entity, who got his revenge. I never believed that.

"Oh! I'm taken aback." Sam looked flabbergasted.

"That's why I'm interested to diagnose and treat Jennifer's behavioral disorder because her condition is identical to Sheeza's. I will take it up as a challenge. I would like to visit her house this Saturday. Is it okay?" Summing up his autobiography, Dr. Jerome asked.

"Yes… but lemme… let her know…" Why not visit your clinic? Sam suggested.

"I wanna see her house because there's a possibility that...…."  Dr. Jerome hesitated to continue.

"Possibility of what?"  Sam was curious.

"I'll disclose when the time arrives." Dr. Jerome smiled mysteriously.

"You mean some spirits?"

"Yeah, there's a possibility….I never believed in paranormal sort of phenomena before, but since I met some faith healers and attended their sessions, I think about it now.  Such possessions may cause epilepsy."

"But that's perilous! We can't play with fire!" Sam protested.

"We won't dear… they're faith healers, who know how to deal with them." Dr. Jerome replied.

"Hmm….are they not harmed or attacked by the demons they scuffle with?"\

"They know how to protect themselves… that's why they are doing their jobs successfully." He tried to convince Sam.

"That's good… Ok doctor I gotta split…" Sam stood on his feet.

" O.k… see you then…" Dr. Jerome walked him to the door… They bade farewell to each other.''