When It Rains, It Pours

"All right. You take care of yourself, honey. I call you every hour. I love you." Finally, Andrea kissed Ludwina and went to the office.

Ludwina felt sad and happy. She was pleased because she thought she was pregnant but sad at the same time. After all, it turned out that, just as she had feared, the pregnancy was so bad.

Her body was aching, weak, and she was constantly nauseous. She could not imagine living like this for nearly nine months.

After feeling somewhat better, she immediately headed to Raffles Hospital and asked to meet the best gynecologist in Singapore.

Doctor Lim examined her and asked many questions that Ludwina thought were irrelevant. She was then asked to have blood tests and a series of medical tests that took her hours.

Ludwina did not think that just checking if she was pregnant could be so complicated.

"It's not that, Madame. You are not pregnant. I can immediately see from the results of the ultrasound earlier," Doctor Lim explained. "However, considering there are various other symptoms that are difficult to explain without a complete test, I do not recommend that you try to get pregnant now."

"..."

"We should wait for the test results, and later we can discuss the best way for you to conceive."

BADUMP

Ludwina's heart sank when she heard the doctor's verdict that she was not pregnant.

Ahh... somehow she was disappointed. She already thought there was a fetus in her womb. She was wrong.

She never thought the fact that she wasn't pregnant could make her so sad. She was already hopeful. Luckily she didn't say anything to Andrea. Her husband must be disappointed to hear this news if he, too, had already had high hopes like her.

"Oh, all right, Doctor. So I should postpone conceiving until my results come out?"

"That's for the best. You can come here in two days, and we'll discuss it."

"Very well, Doctor. Thank you ...."

Ludwina came home sadly. When she got home she sat contemplating on their balcony, trying to read a book to distract herself, but after hours she didn't move from page 3.

When Andrea came home and found her sad-faced, the man knew what had happened. He could guess that Ludwina had seen a gynecologist and was declared not pregnant.

He knew that Ludwina felt very sad, so he did not ask questions and only rubbed his wife's hair affectionately.

'Making Ludwina happy again is more important than having children,' he thought.

Later, they could try again.

"Honey, it's a public holiday tomorrow. I don't need to work. Tonight, do you want to drink wine while watching Netflix with me? We can stay up late ..." he coaxed her. "We look like we both need a drink."

He took out one of the most expensive bottles of wine in their cabinet and held it up to Ludwina, whose face turned brighter.

Yes, since Ludwina was not pregnant, they could go back to drinking wine together. Over the past few weeks, Ludwina had always been looking for an excuse not to drink wine because she thought that she was pregnant.

Wine and the interesting movies they watched on the couch while cuddling improved Ludwina's mood, and Andrea was delighted to see his wife laughing again as they watched the funny scenes in the comedy films.

As usual, Andrea drank only two glasses, while Ludwina finished the rest. Before midnight, Ludwina had fallen asleep in front of the TV, and Andrea had to carry her into their room.

***

Ludwina would never forget June 1, 2017, her 29th birthday.

Doctor Lim told her to come to the hospital with Andrea because there were important things he wanted to discuss with the couple, not just the fact that Ludwina was not pregnant.

Ludwina suddenly had a bad feeling, and she made up an excuse for why Andrea couldn't come.

They had made an appointment for a special dinner at Moccasin Restaurant tonight after coming home from work to celebrate Ludwina's birthday. She didn't want this day to be tarnished by bad news, so she decided to go to the hospital alone.

***

Andrea was smiling a lot lately, and his colleagues could see the change in his mood. He was happy because finally, after four years of marriage, Ludwina changed her mind and was willing to give him a child.

Indeed, she was not pregnant yet, but he would wait patiently until that happy moment arrived.

The important thing was that– Ludwina was already willing.

He had prepared a special gift for his wife, a brand new expensive standing desk, which was very ergonomic and allowed Ludwina to type tirelessly if she wanted. And tonight, they would have dinner at the best restaurant in Singapore, The Moccasin.

After four years now, the relationship between Andrea and Kevin had improved. Kevin had also found the love of his life and got married two years ago. He now had a son to continue his business.

Andrea opened his laptop and got to work. All e-mails, both in work e-mail and personal e-mail, were sorted and deleted when not necessary.

When he arrived at the spam folder, he found an email from a familiar address. It had been years since he received an email from that address.

His chest immediately pounded hard.

This was Adeline's email address, his first love.

'Why is Adeline sending an email now?' he wondered.

He opened the contents of the email and saw a zip attachment. Andrea quickly downloaded the attachment and read the contents of the email.

"Dear Andrea,

How are you? I hope you are all right. I don't know where you are now, but I hope your email address is still the same. After almost eight years, I am finally able to write this email and be honest with you.

Andrea, Honey... in 2009, when I went to London, actually it wasn't because my mother had cancer and we had to move there for her treatment. Actually, I was pregnant, and my parents, who were ashamed of me, wanted to get rid of me out of Jakarta.

I was pregnant with our child, but my parents were very stubborn and did not allow me to marry you. Father threatened to take you to the police on charges of r a p e and ruin your life... So, I was forced to leave, to save you and our child. I really didn't have any other choice.

My heart was broken to leave you. Moreover, it kept you away from our son for years. I don't know if you have a girlfriend, wife, or are still single now, but I wish you are willing to meet Ronan, our son, and see how adorable he has become.

Now that I am older and independent, I am no longer afraid of my parents. I really want Ronan to know his father ...

Attached are several photos and videos of Ronan from childhood until now. He looks just like you. Whenever my life becomes so hard that I almost give up, Ronan becomes my strength.

I don't expect anything from our relationship. I just want you to know what really happened, and I want to live well, free from the burdens of the past.

Sincerely,

Adeline Luanne Surya

For a while, Andrea's mind immediately went blank. He never knew... that was the real reason Adeline went to England. It was because she was pregnant with their child.

Unknowingly, tears flowed profusely from his eyes as he opened the zipped folder from Adeline's email and saw various photos and videos of a handsome boy who looked like his spitting image.

His son.

Andrea had a son who was now seven years old, named Ronan.

Instantly he remembered the contents of Adeline's last email a few years ago when she asked him not to look for her because she had started a new happy life in London with a man named Ronan.

As it turned out, Ronan was their son.

***

Ludwina was somewhat surprised to see Dr. Lim accompanied by another doctor when she entered the examination room. She became uncomfortable.

"Your husband can't come?" Doctor Lim and the other doctor looked at each other, "This is Doctor Chou, an oncologist. He will deliver your test results. "

Ludwina knew the oncologist was a cancer specialist. She did not see why a cancer specialist needed to see her today, but she made up her mind and tried to concentrate on listening to the explanations from the two doctors in front of her.

Her eyes were glazed, and her mind became foggy when Doctor Chou discussed the results of her medical examination.

She didn't really understand what Doctor Chou was saying because her brain had refused to process the information, and the voices around her sounded like a broken record.

Gripping the test results to her chest, Ludwina could only sob uncontrollably.

Uterine cancer, already in stadium-4.

Not only she could not give Andrea a child... she only had one year to live.