Chapter {30} Antonio

Luke 10:27

The expert answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself."

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My sole focus was on the only woman I could call the most beautiful in the world in my heart but could never dare utter it in front of anyone's face, most especially hers.

She was sitting right at the back and knowing her tardiness, I just knew that she had been late and had to grab the back sets but as usual, she looked stunning from head to toe, her curly hair was let loose from the loose braids it was formerly in and was let out, sitting like a crown adorning her head. Her chocolate brown skin shone brightly like a diamond polished to perfection, her modest dress reached her knees, failing to reveal her hour-glass shape and her honey-brown orbs glistened as she listened to the choir sing, I watched in awe as she closed her eyes, and a tear slid down her cheek, as she opened up her mouth and started speaking in words I knew well enough as tongues, something my mom had and never tried to hide. Her eyes lifted up into the sky as she fell to her knees and continued praying, the tears not ceasing but only increasing. Had I not known better, I would've thought she needed help or was in trouble but the joy that was evident on her face spoke volumes on how she felt.

I decided to listen to the singing after all Avelina had dragged me here, because she had grown affectionate towards the church, so like every other week I came, I hired a translator for Destiny because I knew she could not understand our language and that was why the Marino; the pastor was always speaking and thanking me but it was nothing to make a fuss about.

The singing came to an end, and the church grew silent as some muttered their own 'grazie Gesù' and my focus went back to Destiny who had risen from the floor and was now seated next to her best friend, her eyes zoned onto the podium where Marino stood with the translator, whispering into the ear of the lead singer. This is why I did not trust these churches, they were far too secretive and often had hidden agendas.

I looked towards Avelina who was sitted on my far right-hand side with Giovanni, who was forced to come here after persistent begging and of course, some puppy eyes which she knew would not work on me but after she said she vividly remembered seeing our mother reading her parables from a very big book, I knew she needed to come, just for a mere reminder of our mother.

"Let's bow our heads for the closing prayer," the nerdy translator said, he looked all fidgety, and avoided everyone's gaze as though he wanted nothing to do with this as did I.

One ancient brown piano sat at the forefront of the church, with a classical pianist in a black suit playing a tune so foreign to my ears.

I turned back my attention to Destiny who got on her knees once more, raising her hands high, intricate words falling out of her mouth and to my dismay it seemed everyone was following the same lead, their voices running through the church monotonously, the only person with their eyes still open was Giovanni who sat a distance away from me, looking everywhere with his eyes wide in confusion. Truth being spoken, we did not know the art and importance of prayer, we had grown up without those so why would we start praying today?

As I was about to move to his line of view, something seemed to pull me down with such heavy force, I had to sit still and close my eyes, for a more peaceful atmosphere. What was happening?

I did not utter a word in fear of not knowing what to say but just as I was about to open my eyes, my mother's voice rang through my head.

'Before you ask God for anything, he already knows. So ask away so he can hear it directly from your mouth.' The irony of that statement was that He knew what my mom wanted but instead of answering her relentless prayers, he granted her pain and disheartache, the opposite of what she wanted.

"Uhm, I don't know what is happening, can you give me control of my body again?" It felt as though I was speaking to the wind, and it all sounded absurd to me to ask someone who could possibly not even exist for control over my very own body.

But suspiciously, from the moment the words left my mouth, I had full control of my body. What was happening to me today?

"Dude, were you just praying?" None other than Giovanni asked sliding into the seat an elder lady next to me was seated before abruptly standing up and walking around the church, praying.

"N-no, of course not," why was I stuttering? What was I doing either way? It wasn't like I believed in prayer.

"Then why were your eyes closed and your mouth slipping open every time you uttered a word?" Busted! Why did my best friend have to ask a million questions that even I couldn't answer so how could he expect me to answer him luckily Avelina came running, in her brand new Brielle long-sleeved dress that she had asked to be bought just for this day. It was as if all her displeasures, anger and sadness that had hidden behind her bright smiles were all gone, and a more radiant glow shone brightly from her brown orbs. If it meant coming here every single week just to see her truly happy, then without a shadow of a doubt, I would.

"Today was so much fun! And now I love Jesus because he also loved me too on the cross!" My excited sister exclaimed, almost bouncing around from the euphoric state she was in.

"Wow, that's beautiful Cara," lies pure and utter lies, what was beautiful about her loving someone who could possibly not exist? I just did not want to be the one to burst her happy bubble and I'm sure our mother would chide me before I even said the words.

"Yes..." Avelina's words were interrupted by the voice of the pastor through the speakers, seems like they were through with praying.

"As we close up, I would like to end with the verse, Do everything in love from 1 Corinthians 16:14 as Christ died on the cross because of his love for you." This man is just wasting his breath, how did one do everything in love? This world is filled with hate and lies, how could he expect us to do the opposite?

"Please do help yourselves with some snacks on our far-right. May the love of the Lord be bestowed upon you and may you dwell in the house of the Lord, God be with you and have a blessed evening!" The pastor grinned at everyone before waking off the podium as people spoke their amens and scurried off, leaving behind vacant chairs. Including Destiny, who must've left as I was listening to the pastor speak.

"Food!" Of course, both my little sister and best friend exclaimed at once before making a beeline for the snack table which had much to my dislike too many sugary foods, from Avelina's coated doughnuts to Giovanni's cream-filled maritozzo. All of which I did not eat, and could not comprehend how people could even love such health hazards which did not even taste good but nonetheless I followed behind them.

As I made my way into the circle that had formed around the long table cloaked in a white cloth, I bumped into someone and would've simply passed by had it not been for the bouncy curls adorning the stranger's head, and chocolate brown skin that could only belong to one person but like a stab to my chest, she stood with a man beside her, he held a Bible, in a long dress shirt slacks. A typical church boy was trying to take my love from me.

"Amore? You are here?" I asked without a second thought, looking into the honey-doe orbs I had come to love so much that looked back at me with less brightness but a beautiful smile on her face.

"Hi, Antonio! I come here every Sunday," her words struck my heart, she had never called me my full name and now that she was clearly distancing herself from me, I could not handle it.

"Nio." I simply stated looking as her eyes swarmed with confusion before realisation settled in.

"Oh, I cannot call you Nio. It would seem too inappropriate," she said looking at the church boy who excused himself after being under my threatening gaze. Good.

"Listen, amore, can we talk?" What was I doing? My mind admonished me but my heart was saying something else but, I knew that I could not bare to see Destiny with any other man, she was way too precious to me and I could not let her fall into another man's arms even if they were more deserving of her than I was.

She searched the room for nothing in particular, contemplating my request but her final sigh of resignation was enough to know that she would agree.

"Okay, I'm guessing you want us to talk privately, so let me go inform Thato that I will be stepping out for a few minutes," she did not wait for my response before making her way over to her friend, who paused her talk with a red-haired girl before turning her attention to Destiny, her hair was still dyed blonde and short, suiting her rounded face, they spoke for a few seconds which felt more like a lifetime before Thato's fiery eyes moved to mine in a silent warning that let me know that she would not hesitate to come for me if I hurt her friend so I just nodded as she turned back to Destiny giving her a smile, whispering into her ear.

"Okay, let's go outside," She said walking up to me, her grey polo-neck knit dress, fitting perfectly into her form, modest as well, knee length and beautiful.

****

The view of the mountains, enveloped in a beautiful garden of trees surrounded us as we sat on a bench right at the back of the church. The sun was soon settling for the day and I turned my gaze to the love of my life who had made sure to sit a good distance away from me but could I blame her? I could not bare any other separated from her so she needed to know the truth. Or at least the half-truth because though I would be lying, she could not have to find out about my lifestyle, she would only see the good part of me.

"Amore..." I sighed, never had I been so nervous about confessing my feelings. "I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you when I rejected you."

I toke a short pause as her brows furrowed in confusion of where this conversation was leading to.

"Truth is, I lo-" and my ringtone blared from my side pocket, interrupting my confession and igniting anger within me, so I decided to ignore it but it was not one to be ignored as it stopped ringing only to ring again a second later. Who could be calling me? And unless it was an emergency this person would hear my piece of mind.

I quickly removed it from the side pocket, reading the called ID which was not written so I knew it was one of my men.

"Speak!" I barked to the person at the other end of the phone.

"The south home is under attack and we have been outnumbered, we need you to come over, we are losing manpower," a loud voice replied unwaveringly.

"I'm coming!" The vein in my head throbbing so badly, it had to be visible. I disconnected the call.

My anger melted when I turned my gaze back to Destiny who looked confused but patient as usual.

"What's wrong?" She asked searching my face as though she would find all the answers to my questions but now was a matter of love and death. It was either I lost the love of my life by not confessing my love for her or lost my men who also had families to live for in this time wasted.

What do I do?