I'm loving it so far!
What I get from Eika so far--- as an mc, she has the qualities. She has the golden finger (a.k.a. her innate skill in composition and dancing) however she lacks the spirit? Which is good because she needs a flaw to overcome.
Honestly I love the story, you have good grammar, even if there are some mistakes it's still much better than most here. Jane EIka has a pretty consistent character, though so far its a bit hard for me to get a feel for her in story, because--
It feels like the story's a bit too fast paced, I love the plot so far but I feel like it would be better if you could expand the scenes further. Or maybe that's just me innately feeling for the chinese novel feel (long chapters revolving around a specific arc or fight, sometimes too much tbh but still present in most if not all I've read, I guess the long chapter feel comes from the description? Words can get kinda flowery, I'd love to read more about how she's feeling or just what's happening currently before switching to the next scene. For example, her battle with Mei Qian)
It would be better to draw out the arcs with a few more chapters, get more description. A build-up, I guess you could say? Also, a downtime for the MC to rest from the plot would be good too, so it's not pure action.
The romance (friendship so far, but agh my heart!) is written really well, though like I said before, I can't help but want more details on the other characters' thoughts. They're so cute together though and I really, really hope that he'll be the male lead. If anyone else comes to swoop her away my second male lead syndrome is gonna act up again XDD
I guess what makes it feel strange to me other than the pacing is, well, how un-like-ish it is a chinese novel to me. By that, I mean, this...
THE GOLDEN HALO OF THE MC
Oh, she's got the trouble down pat. A few chapters in and she's already got someone gunning for her head. But at the same time, not enough mob characters I guess?
I mean, normally in an arc you have the current villain, and there's always a moment where everyone is underestimating the mc before they stun the world either intentionally or unintentionally and it blinds everyone. The build up and lack of length in the scenes was missing this which was the feeling I was missing. There's not a lot of mob characters that represent the general public, either on her side (but most importantly) supporting the villain. Her cheat or golden finger isn't much defined here either (though I feel it's her innate talent as said before). Of course something has to hold her back because if not, then how would she slowly rise to the top? But it'd be nice to see a defining part of her aura as an mc too.
MOST IMPORTANTLY THOUGH IF HIKARU (the boy she's currently friends with, the only one tbh) IS THE MALE LEAD BOY AM I GONNA LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE--
what is this??? do my eyes deceive me??? a male lead who is not black-bellied, or cold and mysterious???? and is instead almost the antithesis to the common concept of one??? a mischievous but kind chatterbox??
THIS KIND OF PERSON IS USUALLY THE SECOND MALE LEAD AND OH GOD PLEASE
please let him be the male lead I am begging you
anyways that's all for now the story development is 3 because of above but honestly it's already very good so far. world background and character design at 4 because not much to go on about yet.
I HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR THIS NOVEL
