1 Three Goblin Cats

One winter not too far away and not too soon there were three goblins who were making their way in the world, when suddenly they found themselves hunted because of a bounty issues by the Emperor. Now this bounty was not for these goblins in particular, but all the goblins in the lands, because the wild tribes had started causing trouble across the Empire. So these three goblins, who had gotten by without doing much harm to others, felt particularly hard done by when they learned of the bounty. Hoping to travel far from the northern lands where most of the ruckus was going on, the three goblins sped as fast as they could toward the nearest magic travel portal. They chanced the road instead of taking the slower path through the countryside, and had traveled a ways when they saw another small group approach.

Normally they wouldn't have been bothered at all by the strange pair, a mouse-man, and a tiny faerie beast would normally be easy enough to fight or pass by, but with the bounty they were low on supplies so the smallest of the three immediately cried out, "We aren't part of the goblin event!"

The strange pair paused then the faerie beast spoke, "Then what are you doing around here? Goblins have been cutting down trees everywhere."

The middle goblin admitted, "We were also doing missions to collect logs recently, but we don't know anything about the fortress in the event notice, and everyone we've seen since the notice attacks us!"

The strange pair spoke among themselves again, and the beast addressed the three goblins, "I was turned into a cat by eating an apple that a wizard gave me, but it was apparently a very low chance. It lasted for 13 game days though."

The largest goblin spoke warily, "And you want us to buy it from you?"

To their great surprise the mouse-man squeaked sharply, "Did you hear her mention money? Seriously, if she gives it to you and it works, you'd better give her something in return!"

"Fine!" The smallest goblin shouted. "We'll try this apple and if it works we'll pay you all our coin!"

The middle goblin spoke again "It will be worth it if we can be cats for the duration of the event."

The mouse-man took an apple from the faerie beast and broke it into three equal portions gifting one to each goblin. Each glancing at the others the goblins bit the fruit. With a mystic chime the three goblins found themselves looking up at the mouse-man from a very different perspective.

The smallest one was black, the middle was a tabby, and the largest goblin became a surprisingly orange striped cat.

With many surprised exclamations the goblin cats admired their new glossy fur and soft paws. The mouse-man rudely interrupted their inspections, "Your payment?"

The three goblin cats started going through their possessions arguing about who would have to carry the burden of things they couldn't use as cats. True to their promise they piled all of the gold among them before the mouse-man to be given to the faerie beast, and with tails held jauntily in the air the three goblin cats set off down the road.

After traveling for a while longer the three goblin cats came to the next village on the road and they decided to pause for a bit and admire their fur again in the dell, in the shade of one of the large trees. Having properly inspected their fur the three goblin cats settled down to consider their future, because their previous plans had been made to deal with everyone they encountered attacking them for being goblins, not their current status as cats.

The dell was mostly populated by faerie and shortly one of the larger dwellers approached the three goblin cats and exclaimed, "Why hello kitties! You are new to the area, what are you doing today?"

The the largest one meowed, "Deciding what to do next."

Sadly the large faerie said, "I can't understand you. But I wish that you would come and stay at my house, it's been so lonely since my husband died and I could really use the company. I could promise you a warm place to sleep and as much milk and fish as you want."

The medium goblin cat twitched cream and brown whiskers, gave their tabby fur a quick grooming, and said, "You know? This beats the heck out of trying to run for my life. Despite the fact that I'm going to be a cat for the next 13 days, there may be people who will be able to tell that I'm really a goblin. I"m going to take this faerie up on their offer!"

The smallest goblin cat and the largest goblin cat tried to dissuade their companion, coaxing them with the promise that surely there must be something better to do further on instead of being a regular cat. But the middle of the goblin cats had made up their mind, and leaving the party followed the large faerie off to their cottage where they learned much about lazing in sunbeams and the proper way to drink milk.

The smallest goblin cat and the largest goblin cat decided to continue going south, the middle goblin cat had a point about the possibility of being found out as a goblin and not a cat, but with tails again set at a jaunty angle they traveled through the dell. They were about half way through when a faerie blustered up and rudely demanded a share of the goblin cat's food.

Now the two goblin cats hadn't had many resources before they became cats and the majority of what was left had been carried by the medium cat who had parted ways with them, so they didn't have much food at all, and felt they would need everything they had in the future. "I'm sorry," said the smallest goblin cat, "but we don't have very much and we will need all of it on our travels."

A cunning gleam came into the faerie's eye. "You really won't share your food with me?"

The largest goblin cat blithely answered, "No. We told you we don't have anything to give you."

Suddenly from the edge of the dell there was an ominous rustle of feathers.

The faerie's face twisted in a grin. "Just to be clear, for the second time you are refusing to share any food?"

The smallest goblin cat started to explain again, "No we won't share food because…" and trailed off as the rustle of wings sped up and started getting closer much faster.

Soon the goblin cats could see that there were ducks converging on them from every direction, hopping and gliding through the paths of the dell. The goblin cats watched, astonished, unil the first two ducks reached them and stretching out their necks bit the tails of the goblin cats.

Yowling involuntarily in pain the two goblin cats darted as one for the direction with the least number of ducks, and weaving and dodging as best they could were harried and harassed out of the dell, leaving several clumps of fur behind. Soon they had to slow and catch their breath and the largest goblin cat said dryly, "Nearly nibbled to death by ducks."

Continuing to the south, the two goblin cats soon reached a magic portal, and used to to travel to the southernmost point either of them had been to. This being a port city, they decided to investigate the docks and see what options were available to them, since they had no gold and very little in the way of supplies.

Perched on top of a stack of boxes covered in netting on a wharf, the goblin cats were watching the bustling port. They were trying to listen, which was much more convenient as a cat, for information and interesting things to do. Suddenly a large rat, half the size of a goblin cat, streaked past on the wood of the wharf. It was followed by a plump human waving a cleaver.

Panting, the human gave up and leaned on the boxes while casting aspersions on the rats' character, ancestry, and probable future as a stew ingredient. When he looked up he saw the two goblin cats sitting on top of the cargo. "Why you lazy beasts, aren't the likes of you supposed to be doing something about vermin like that? The wharf rats could give you quite a fight but I've seen cats half your size take them on and win every time. I guarantee if you came and kept my place clear of these wharf rats and other vermin that there would be a very nice reward in it for you, and just think of the fighting experience you would get!"

The largest goblin cat yawned and casually inspected the sharpness of claws hidden by orange fur on their paw. "You know that sounds pretty interesting, I think that I'll take this human up on their offer and see what excitement can be found here. You should stay with me, I'm sure we could rack up quite a kill count!"

The smallest goblin cat blinked, slowly considering, and said, "I'm sure there is much more to be seen and done while I have these skills, and this area is so busy that it's more likely I would be discovered as a goblin. I'm going to go onward."

So the two goblin cats parted ways and the largest goblin cat followed the plump human with the cleaver back to the shop, where they learned much about the value of being quiet until the time is right, and that it was always best pause and adapt when the situation changes instead of pursuing blindly.

The smallest goblin cat now on their own, sat on the stack of cargo polishing black whiskers consideringly, while listening for anything that would indicate a good opportunity to get further south. Suddenly netting came up from the surface of the wharf surrounding the cargo boxes, and scooped cat and all up in a pouch, as the boxes were lifted into the air.

Digging their claws into the wood and rope below them, the smallest goblin cat clung as hard as they could as the cargo was swung out over the water, and in through a large hatch on a ship, and down into a dark hold. Blinded by the change in the lighting, the smallest goblin cat continued to cling to the box they were on, as it thudded down with the rest of the pile. Until the cat realized that it was being swarmed by elves who were shifting the boxes up against the walls of the hold to clear the hatch for the next load.

The smallest goblin cat tried to dart toward an opening they saw, with stairs leading up and dim but brighter light, but they were snatched from the air and tucked neatly against the chest of one of the elves. Trying to squirm away did no good at all as the elf called out to the others, and then calmly carried the smallest goblin cat up the stairs to present them to the Captain.

"So," the Captain of the elven ship said consideringly. "A stowaway eh? Well it's lucky to have a cat on board, so I suppose that it can stay until it's ready to leave. I have a feeling this isn't a cat that is made for seafaring life."

Watching the water around the ship the goblin cat had to agree, the ocean is not a long term place for a creature that can't swim. The elf that had carried the goblin cat out of the ship's hold, set them down on the deck against the railing looking over the lower section of the ship's upper deck, and indicated the goblin cat should stay out of the way. After straightening the fur that had been shifted by the handling, the goblin cat watched with interest as the elves quickly finished getting supplies from the wharf onto the ship, and darted here and there doing strange things to ropes which caused the sails to move and change on the ship.

Several times the goblin cat was nearly stepped on, and quickly realized they needed to keep their tail curled tight, and had been put in one of the very small places where none of the elves would need to go to complete their preparations. Faster than the smallest goblin cat expected all of the elves stopped moving and turned to face the Captain obviously waiting for orders.

Sitting in front of the Captain where they had been placed, the goblin cat couldn't help feeling that the respectful attentiveness was directed at them, and straightened proudly and gave a regal nod. Behind them the Captain called out an order and the crew responded instantly, moving around each other gracefully as the ship's sails moved and shifted, causing the ship to drift out from the dock.

Suddenly a hand descended to ruffle the fur between the goblin cat's ears and the elven Captain spoke behind them, "Well my fine furry friend I'm glad you approved us leaving the dock, but remember there is only one Captain of a ship, and all who sail her are under my orders. We'll give you a few hours and we'll see how you take to the sea before finding you a task." The Captain called over one of the elves, and the smallest goblin cat was again picked up and this time carried to a galley and set in a crate that had an old bit of sailcloth lining it near the tiny stove. The smallest goblin cat remained with the ship for the remainder of their time as a cat learning much about napping when you can and maintaining poise while moving at speed under rough conditions.

It was, after all, The Way of The Cat.