36 This can't go well.

Stepping onto the street that led to the East Gate, she couldn't help but snort. "So you're the Chunin Squad I'm going on this mission with?"

"Yeah, that's us. You're uh... Naruko right?" The teenage boy with mousy brown hair awkwardly scratched the back of his head.

"I'm Ichi, nice to meet you!"

A taller teen with black hair stepped up seemingly more stoic than the other one, "I'm Ni. It's wonderful to be on a mission with you."

A teen probably nearing 18 stepped up, "I'm San, I'm glad we'll be your first mission out of the village." A moment passed as the fourth member remained leaning against the wall reading his book. A tic park appeared above Ichi's head.

"CAPTAIN!!!!" 

"Huh?" Looking up, the captain who was a Special Jonin focused on Lightning Style Ninjutsu rubbed his spikey green hair sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry. My name is Yon. Nice to meet you Naruko Uzumaki. You know the mission?"

She stared, slightly flabbergasted. 'This is a joke? Right. Has to be a joke. Those are the worst fucking fake names - you know what. Whatever.' With a twitching eye, she'd nod. "Yes, I know the mission. Deliver the package to Genashi town. I suppose for this mission you can call me Go so I fit the name's theme." A couple of snorts left Ni, San, and Yon, whereas Ichi sullenly kicked the ground. 'Oh god, it's so bad in hindsight the town name. It's literally just their two names combined. ' 

"Good, good. Alright team, let's head on out!" Yon tucked the book into a pocket and started strolling out of the gate.

"Captain Yon, where's the scroll?" Catching up to him she'd ask the important question.

"Huh? Oh, that. Uhh...." patting a few of his pockets as if he wasn't used to the vest - which he probably was but it was clearly just horrific acting, he'd finally pull it out. "Here we go!"

She grabbed it, she knew he let her, but still. "Right. Well as the Youngest that means logically I get to keep it. Also, I'm the only one who can freely die considering I'm a Shadow Clone."

He shrugged in response. "WOAAAAH! You're a shadow clone? So cool!" Ichi hopped on next to her. "Hey. You must have a lot of chakra. Do you ever use it fo-"

Ni slapped the back of his head. "She's ten nearing eleven, you idiot."

A few hours passed before she stopped, her entire face twitching. Yon stopped a few seconds later, and let out a loud groan. "For fucks sake. Did anyone listen to me when I said this would be a horrible idea? No, of course not. 'It's just PTSD! Your out-of-mask missions aren't as bad as you say they are!'" 

Naruko ignored the ranting totally-not-Kakashi as the Ichi, Ni, and San looked at each other before looking at her. "He's just smelt the Rokubi jinchuriki, and possibly thr Six Chunin and One Jonin."

"Aah fuck." Ichi's henge melted off of him showing himself to be Genma Shiranui - otherwise known as Captain of the Yondaime Guarding Platoon. Ni's henge disappeared as well showing himself to be Raido Namiashi, and San's disappeared showing he was Iwashi Tatami. The last two, of course, being the final two members of the Hokage Guard Platoon.

A second later Yon's form shifted showing himself to be Kakashi Hatake, who was still violently ranting. "Is he okay?"

Genma sighed. "In the last two months, he's run 6 B-Ranks that all have turned into S-Rank. He stated before the mission that somehow this would be worse as 'The luck of an Uzumaki and a Hatake merged into an unholy matrimony.'" Genma in fact did use finger quotes as he said the last part.

"Right. Well, you three should duck." They listened as instantly ten Adamantine Sealing Chains pierced through the air, popping hundreds of bubbles that proceeded to violently explode.

"So, should I deal with Utakata orrrrr?" Kakashi stopped ranting to stare at her. Genma, Raido, and Iwashi stopped their planning to stare at it. Apparently all sharing a hive mind they instantly said,

"NO!"

Kakashi continued on with a twitching eye. "No, you go deal with the Jonin and Six Chunin flanking around. We'll deal with the Rokubi Jinchuriki - he won't risk using Bijuu Chakra when Lord Jiraiya or Lady Tsunade might sense it, we aren't far from either of their last known locations." 'Are you fucking kidding me. YOU'RE THIS PARANOID ABOUT MY FIRST MISSION OLD MAN?!?' 

"Besides, I know you aren't a Shadow Clone, so you can deal with them easily." She sighed.

"Fine. I'll go play with the little lambs." With that said she'd rush off towards them.

-Kakashi / Heavy Spoilers Naruko won't know about for a while. Skip if you want.-

(Extra Line for Skippers)

(Extra Line for Skippers)

He let out a sigh. "Right, now that that's taken care of. Sorry about this." Genjutsu: Sharingan! His three comrades fell to the ground.

Pulling out an ANBU mask, and unsealing a crimson cloak, he settled them onto himself.

A few moments later Utakata dropped in front of him. "Commander Dragon. I didn't expect you here. It appears neither did the Wind Blade and his squad." The usually casual man dressed in blue cloth was tightly gripping his pipe as his eyes narrowed. Kakashi behind the mask chuckled slightly.

"Yes. Well, when our sensor detected you were coming, it was quite awkward." His voice was deep, bassy, and heavily modulated as it rang out with a heavy authoritative tone via the usage of seals.

"I see. I suppose my men will soon be dead then? After all, I sensed the Kyuubi which is why I rushed here..." 

"She's dealing with them." 

Utakata sighed. "What a shame. Any chance you'll let me leave without a fight?" 

Purple lightning crackled around 'Commander Dragon' in response. "I thought not." The battle engaged as a fist coated with purple lightning slammed into Utakata's pipe, instantly shattering it.

Jumping back Utakata pulled out another one blowing on it, causing dozens of Bubble Clones and hundreds more explosion bubbles to appear. With an almost negligent wave, an arc of purple lightning streaked through the air destroying the explosive bubbles, and most of the Bubble Clones. "Aah. It appears I can't deal with you without help." 

Beneath the mask, Kakashi's eyes narrowed. He rushed forward, engaging in Taijutsu with the Jinchuriki. Within sixty seconds he had managed to land five solid hits, one strong enough to send Utakata exploding back into a tree, blood dribbling down his mouth. Yet, Utakata seemed unphased slowly getting up.

"It appears, I can only use my Bijuu's chakra, but I don't think you want that in a location so close to people." He waved vaguely towards the direction of the downed trio.

Kakashi stared for a moment. Before nodding. "You may leave this once Utakata."

Utakata would grin slightly, a mix of thankful and mocking. "How kind of you." Pulling out a third pipe he would blow a bubble which he would step on, before flying off. 'He was holding back on his base level of power -which should be impossible. We know what his true strength because of his fight against his Raikage. Yet, he was holding back a not insignificant amount, and the only way for him to gain that much, even without using his Bijuu's chakra...' A grimace formed on Kakashi's face underneath the mask. 'If the Nibi Jinchuriki obtains it as well Fu, Gai, and I won't be able to hold on. Jiraiya or Tsunade need to be called into active duty, and we need to begin full mobilization. If we have to ever face Four Bijuu transformations on top of Two Perfect Jinchuriki at the same time we can't sustain it with our current force arrangement.' Letting out a sigh, he went about changing out of his mask and cloak.

'Definitely, SS-Rank, which means I was right.'

(Extra Line for Skippers)

(Extra Line for Skippers)

-Naruko CAN NOW READ AGAIN IF YOU SKIPPED-

Stalking through the forest with a pout on her face she'd angrily snort. 'I wouldn't go too insane playing with Utakata! I'd just y'know. Use some chains. Maybe a Rasengan or two. I wouldn't even use an S-Rank Wind Style Jutsu. Okay. maybe once. Twice? No - only three times! I wouldn't even use any of K-chans chakra... Unless he did!' Grumbling some more, she landed on a tree silently about a mile in front of the oncoming Kiri shinobi, having overtaken them. 

'Alright. Let's go with the cute little psycho act.' She ignored the rumbling inside of her that sounded strangely like, 'It isn't an act'. 

A few seconds later she'd drop down onto the ground with a cute smile on her face and her bright blue eyes sparkling with innocence. Her Chunin vest looked perfectly new, and not like it was nearly a year old now. 

A moment later a squad of Six Chunin and One Jonin landed in front of her. "Hey there Kiri Shinobi! You're missing Kiri by abouttttt a hundred miles that way, and then a buncha ocean!" To accent that she'd tilt her head.

Naruko could see the dawning horror inside of the Jonin as he began to recognize her, but she ignored that as one of the Chunin stepped forward saying, "Aah sorry about that! Actually, we're not Kiri Shinobi you see. Look at our headbands!" 'Right....' "Oh, sorry about that! Kumo Nin, totally an easy mistake, y'know?" 

The man chuckled. "I understand, as I was saying you see we're actually here too-"

A Naruko Clone who looked pretty small, and totally cute in her expert opinion, wrapped herself around the man, with a kunai pointed directly at the man's neck.

"Now, now. Don't you mean you're here to destroy the Chakra Metal mine about 80 miles of here to the west, that if my guess is correct would be having a Squad Shift just as you were set to arrive?"

The man gulped as the rest of the chunin readied themselves. The Jonin, however? Had sweat beading down his face as he stared at her. "Aah! That's no fun, your Jonin recognizes me. Why don't you tell them Jonin-san?"

The rest of the chunin bar the one that couldn't move looked on over and instantly showed a mixture of fear and worry at seeing their captain. "Naruko Uzumaki... Jinchuriki of the Kyuubi no Yoko, and practically all but enthroned Godaime Hokage." 'Fuck you, old man! Danzo! ARE YOU SPREADING THAT BULLSHIT?!? I'M NOT DOING MORE PAPERWORK!' 

Not reacting on the outside, she put on a very pleased smile as she animatedly nodded her head. "En! Look, you got it right. Cause you're so smart I'll be nice. Leave the Paper Bombs and pick one Chunin to stay, and you all can go and run back to the Kiri Border." The Jonin thought for a moment before shakily nodding his head. "D'aww, you're no fun! Any of the other Major Villages would have fought it out! Especially because of how young I am. I've never even left the village or fought on official records you know?"

The fear only grew in his eyes the more she talked as he finally ordered. "Drop all the Paper Bombs Nakshi."

The Chunin holding them looked hesitant for a moment before, "Yes Captain." He pulled out a pouch and carefully placed it on the ground.

"We can go now, yes? We'll give up the Chunin you already have hostage."

A grin spread across her lips. "Yeah, you can flee into the forest." They all instantly fled. The clone holding the slowly whitening chunin whispered something into his ear, before knocking him unconscious.

Her smile turned into a horrible grin. "I never said who gets to live and who gets to die, and you Jonin, were going to threaten my country..." 

A minute later horrifying screeches of fear and agony began to ring out before after a terrifying three minutes the forest went silent.

-Naruko back @ Kakashi & Co- 

Landing in the newly made clearing she'd raise an eyebrow towards Kakashi lounging on a rock reading an orange-covered book, and the pile of three unconscious Shinobi. "What happened to them?" 

Kakashi would hum his eye flicking up to her before saying, "A strange crow came down and looked at them, and they fell unconscious." 'He's obfuscating whether he Genjutsu'd them asleep, or if Itachi came. But I sense none of Itachi's chakra... although I sense no remnant chakra at all in the area. His chakra levels seem perfectly untouched, however.' 

"Utakata?" Kakashi would flip another page before blinking at her.

"We had a lovely conversation over tea. You should have been there. Sadly Lady Tsunade came in drunk and Utakata ran away, afraid. You see - he himself is a known debt collector."

Naruko groaned before sitting down on the rock next to him. 'The worst part is, I can't even call him out on the blatant lies because he mixed truths in, so I can't tell what is truth and what is lie - fuck, he might not even know himself. If he wanted me not to know, he might have scrambled his own brains temporarily. That's just how insane he is.' 

Her eyes narrowed as she kicked him in the shin. "Ow." He flipped a page. 'If Tsunade did come - it makes sense his Chakra Reserves are relatively untouched and why Utakata would leave. A Sannin would be enough to deal with a Jinchuriki. Especially when it's noted that Utakata isn't a perfect one. He's never even been noted to go full Bijuu Mode.' Sighing she finally closed her eyes.

"Whatever, wake me up when we can continue this totally not fake mission."

"Maah, the first mission will be the worst for you, as long as you don't take a D-Rank outside of the village, you probably won't come across another C-Rank this bad for at least 3 more years."

"Why does that sound so specific?"

"This is the first C-Rank I've taken out of the village in three years of course."

'I really shouldn't ask.' "What was the last one?"

"Me and Gai wanted a vacation, so we were delivering some Tea, and ended up fighting a Kraken empowered with Senjutsu." 'I really shouldn't have asked.'

Luckily a few minutes later they woke up, and they managed to complete the mission. Sitting around a campfire on the way back to Konoha she'd sigh. "No offense, but I can almost guarantee that if another 'fake' team gets sent on a mission with me, I'll probably end up facing something even worse."

Genma would awkwardly laugh. "Yeah... we thought Kakashi was overplaying it a bit because we never saw Yondaime-sama and Kakashi take missions together. Apparently, he wasn't."

The next day they were back in Konoha, having not even left it for 24 hours.