7. Might as well eat some worms
The other day, the spaghetti was overcooked. So overcooked that it had turned into a pile of yellow mush with flecks of black, which when mixed with bolonaise sauce, turned it into a pile of red mush with black speckles. It was because that day, someone threw themselves a pity party. The theme song of the party went like this:
Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
I may as well go and eat some worms
Big ones
Small ones
Fat ones
Wriggly ones
I may as well go and eat some worms
Due to the off tune refrains of the drunkard's singing getting stuck in their heads, WW couldn't stand it anymore. SOMETHING had to be done.
Since no one could be bothered digging up worms in the park where they might be seen by a policeman and given more than a warning for vandalising public property after what had happened last time, they went for the next best option. Something that looked like worms.
Unexpectedly, several parents came by on on an impromptu inspection to see whether their children had really turned over a new leaf as they had promised. In the whirlwind of confusion, shoving messes under beds and hiding other things in the washing machine, all whilst the lookout at the front window reported how many steps the parents had left until the front door, the spaghetti on the stove was forgotten.
The sharp eyes of the parents glinted as they walked through the front door and sniffed.
To Lemming 1:
"You haven't showered since last Friday, have you? Didn't you say you were starting work? Don't tell me you went to work smelling like this."
"I didn't. I just smell because... because I was at the gym."
"Yeah. Right. I can't imagine it. My son. Going to a gym. What a laugh. You haven't even got a girlfriend. Why would you be motivated to go to the gym? You think I don't know you?"
To Lemming 2:
"You still haven't cut your hair? I told you to get a haircut. You look like girl. Don't tell me you're planning to get a sex change because I am not giving you the money for that. Do you know how much those operations cost? I've told you before and I'll tell you again. Money does not grow on trees."
"I just haven't had time to go get my hair cut, Mum. Honest. I'm not planning to get a sex change. I'm proud to be a man."
"Proud? What's there to be proud of? You've got nothing down there to be proud of. Besides, without a job and stable income, do you think a girl would even look at you?"
"Mum, please. No need to be so harsh."
"You all ran to stuff everything in the cupboards and under the beds the moment you saw our cars didn't you? You should come home instead of learning to be a pig in a pig sty. I'm sure I've taught you better than this."
To the Tigress:
"I heard everyone's started calling you Tigress now? You think you're so fierce and clever living with a bunch of idiot boys who can't even sum up the courage to ask you out? You may have all grow up together like siblings, but not a single one of them has a speck of common sense. Do you know how your living with this bunch of cave men has affected my image? Your reputation has almost been destroyed. Nobody's son wants to go out with you. They think you're prostituting yourself, playing with all these boys all the time."
"Maaaa, don't start. They can all hear you."
"It's not like they haven't heard it before. If any one of them is even harbouring the thought of becoming my son-in-law or touching you, I will come and directly castrate them into eunuchs. Your father and I have no where to put our faces anymore regarding you. Do you know what your brother has been telling his friends? He says you're the matriarch sow in a pen of pigs."
The pig head's parents were thankfully working and unable to visit.
After the parents had finished flaying the hearts of their children and had left, WW hurried to save the spaghetti on the stove.
Exchanging understanding glances, they dug in.
They might as well just eat some worms.