4. Don't You Step on these Blue Suede Shoes
It was a quiet morning for WW. Shadows crept about the house but dared not make any noise. Eventually the shadows crept off to work, letting out muffled cries of joy when they realised that the angry tigress had not only packed lunches but breakfast to go for all of them before she left the house in the early morning. The pig headed leader had regained some function of his own body too, so he hopped his way to the bus stop with a pair of crutches and a backpack.
Peace and quiet reigned in the WW household while WW were all at work earning money to replace that which had been poorly spent. That is until rock 'n' roll music suddenly blared from the house wide surround sound speakers, waking the baby next door and announcing the arrival of… Blue Suede Shoes.
(Switching to first person here, cos third person is so wannabe tryhard and hard to follow.)
Yes. Blue Suede Shoes. If you can't figure out why Blue Suede Shoes, you are a disgrace to the musicality of humanity and should learn music for the rest of eternity to make up for your lack of general knowledge. Ehh. I couldn't think of another rhyming word that ended with 'ity' and 'itsy bitsy spider' has nothing to do with the current topic.
Anyhoo...
The house is mine! Bwahahaha! All mine! I have the house to myself, the computer to myself, the loudspeakers to myself and all those lemmings can't do nothing about it. (I mean 'anything', not nothing. Got myself there with a double negative. Haha.) They won't even know I was here until they read this post and smell the pizza and see the empty pizza box when they get back. It's been a while, my friends. I see it's been busy.
Lone dog 1: I have to congratulate you on your new looks. How does the pig born in the year of the pig feel about not only being the piggish teammate we all have to develop strategies to protect ourselves against in our online games, but being one in real life as well? I vote for Tigress as vice-president! I, of course, being the one true leader. You can all read my words and tremble in fear, or else these Blue Suede Shoes will kick your rears. No one steps on these Blue Suede Shoes.
Lemmings! Revolt! While the pig is still in recovery stage, now is the time to stage a coup and let these fancy shoes take over!
Lemming 1: Angry Tigress really suits you. You should use that as your new avatar's name sometime. Weren't you saying when last we met that you wanted to make a new account and start from scratch after our piggish friend caused that avalanche of a catastrophe that reduced your avatar's stats to scrap? Don't feel too bad. He did the same to mine a few days ago. I'll join you on your new journey. When we've levelled up and are strong enough, we'll go trash his precious Razor Leaf and steal his custom equipment from him. What do you reckon?
Lemming 3: I'll bet you don't even know what a lemming is, do you? You might be able to recite 807 Pokémon, but you don't know what vectors and displacement are, right? What was it Lemming 1 said the other day? Oh yes. That you couldn't even do simple division and multiplication. Are you sure you're a civil engineer? You didn't just buy a certificate, did you? What exactly is that you do at work anyway? I wouldn't trust a bridge you built, even if it were one for 1kg of toy cars. Do you even know what 'kg' stands for? You might think wearing glasses makes you look smarter, but we all know there are no lens in those accessories. How else did I manage to accidentally poke your eye through them three years ago at that party where your red undies… nevermind. It's embarrassing even to remember and there'll be ladies reading this. In any case, you need to get your eyes checked and get real glasses. You may be scared of the optometrist, but I'll drag you there when I see you. You're squinting too much in your vlogs. Wait. Was that meant to be secret? I forget. Oh, and yes, to Tigress's anticipated exclamation. He's not scared of the dentist. Just the optometrist. Something to do with people staring into his eyes or some such.
Lemming 4: The idea to go to the beach in the rain, buy excessive clothes from the op shop instead of an umbrella and have a BBQ was all your idea, wasn't it? Lemming 3 doesn't come up with impulsive ideas like that. Why don't you rack your brains and go get a real job? I'm sure the others would be real interested in finding out what exactly it is you do for work. I'm curious. Just where do you wash that fancy costume of yours and how have you kept this secret so quiet until now? I wouldn't have found out if I hadn't walked past this morning. Which brings me to the main point - you're a girl? How have I never realised or noticed this? How did Lemming 3 not even notice when you went to the beach?
It's been a while and I've only been learning about what's going on lately through these posts. I haven't heard from the others. Where are the rest of the lemmings, lone dogs and solitary cats?
Let alone Lemming 2 who none of us ever see anyway, (seriously Lemming 2, we get your invisibility cloak is awesome, but we do need to be reminded that you exist every now and then, not just see the crumbs you leave behind), we should have a get together sometime.
WW assemble! One fortnight hence on the o'clock of 7. Be there or get clocked.
Now, to put my feet up and relax. Ooh. Whose chocolate pudding in the fridge? Never mind. Mine now.
Bwahahaha.