WHY CAN'T I GET HIM OUT OF MY HEAD(PART TWO)

It's really nothing." I stood up from the bed and said. I don't care if my head is still hurting because I can bear the pain. I went to the kitchen to see if Jack had made anything to eat because I had smelled something good while sleeping.

"You can't just tell me it's nothing, Johan?" He said this as he stood by the kitchen door.

"Why can't I tell you that?" It's entirely up to me whether I tell you or not. I just don't want to say anything, Jack.' I stated solemnly. 

At the very least, that should indicate to him that I'm not in the mood to talk.

He stood there for a few minutes while I was taking my plate to dish up some food that Jack had cooked. Oh, sorry my bad. His mother prepares the meals.

I noticed him walk away as I was serving myself some food. I'm guessing he understood the language, but I know he'll bring it up again, and I think he just feels it's not the right time.

Jack and I eat at each other's houses all the time; his house is my house, and mine is his. We're extremely close, so it's not a big deal.

I entered the room, shut the door where I had previously slept, and sat on the bed to eat my food. I noticed a long sleeved shirt next to me.

This isn't Jack's long sleeved shirt. I sniffed it and took it. Oh my gosh. It belonged to Haru. I can smell him from anywhere, and I was aroused all of a sudden.

I took the shirt and placed it on the bed away from me. No way am I sniffing that shirt again. I took a spoon and began eating the food because I couldn't get that shirt out of my head. It was Haru's, but how did it get here in the first place?

I dropped my food on the bed and continued sniffing it, and before I knew it, it was gone. I was unbuckling my trouser belt. This is insane, what am I doing right now. Is it because of teenage hormones that I'm doing these things?

I unzipped my trouser after unbuckling it and took out my crotch.

I can't believe I'm doing this to myself.

I sniffed it some more, then rubbed my crotch and moaned. I've finally let myself go after such a long time.

I was still sniffing it when I began stroking my crotch and fantasizing about Haru kissing me and sucking my nipples. What makes me want him so badly? This is similar to the last time. I kept stroking myself, moving my crotch up and down to raise my butt.

I want him.

I kept stroking him and moaning his name.

"Haru" I remembered the day he kissed me; it was so incredible. I began to stroke faster and faster and faster. I moaned Haru's name as I shot my sweet release.

On my belly, I'm staring at the sperm. I felt like a fucking fool, so ashamed of myself.

How many times do I need to tell myself to stop thinking about Haru?

*This isn't your first time kissing a guy, is it?* Those words were still haunting me. Then I remember that I need to clean up right away before Jack comes in, or I'll be screwed.

I took a tissue from beside the bed and wiped the sperm away from my body. This is insane.

I don't want to remember what I did this morning, and I don't want to remember it ever again.

After I finished cleaning myself, I went to the toilet, inserted the tissue, and flushed it.

Coming out of the toilet, I heard someone laughing and went out of the room to see who it was.

When I came out, I saw the others, and Charlotte was the first person to notice me and approach me, hugging me.

"How are you, baby?" she asked, stroking my cheek with the tip of her finger.

I replied. "I'm fine, babe."

"You sure?" 

"Yes." 

"Have you eaten?" 

"Yes," I replied. I didn't even finish the food I took from the pot.

She rested one hand on my brow and the other on her own.

"Jack, was right. You're better now?'

"I've always been better," I joked.

"This isn't any better. Something is bothering you, and you didn't want to tell me.' She scowled.

"'I have nothing to hide from you,' I assured her. "'If anything bothers me, I'll tell you okay,' I said, and she nodded and hugged me.

Isn't it true that I'm a horrible person? I just did something stupid and fucking disgusting in the room a while ago, and I'm lying to my girlfriend about it. I feel bad, and I wish I wasn't dating her; perhaps she'll find someone better than me. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about this.

"Please excuse me, lovebirds. Can you guys do this somewhere else and stop reminding us that we're still single?' It was Haru when I looked up. What exactly is he doing here?

"Haru,'

"Hi Johan,' he continued, still smiling.

"'Hello.' I moved my gaze away from him and away from Charlotte.

"'Hey, how are you feeling?' Ava inquired, touching my brow.

"'I'm fine, I'm fine.' I sighed and yanked her hands away from my brow.

"'I'm glad you're okay now.' She cracked a grin. "Thank Haru for carrying you yesterday; you were hugging him so tightly that you didn't want to let him go?' She burst out laughing.

"What!!! I was taken aback.

"That's right, man. 'Come on, we have classes tomorrow, and the teacher is going to scold us until the earth falls down,' Jack grumbled. Ava and Charlotte burst out laughing. When I looked at Haru, he was staring at me as well, but I turned my head and left them to talk about boys and girls and such.

"Where are you going?" Charlotte inquired as she sat down at the table.

"I'm going to lie down for a while because my head is still hurting," I said.

"OK, please take care," she said as she blew me a kiss, but I just laughed and started walking away.

"You didn't blow me a kiss, and you didn't tell me you loved me," she grumbled.

I felt embarrassed, but it's not the first time I've done this, or is it because Haru is staring at me while sitting at the table.

"Hey, do the same thing to her or our eardrums will burst." He rolled his eyes as he ate his food at the table, and Ava joined him. I was curious as to when Jack brought his food to the table.

"Can I do that later?' What is wrong with me, I wondered as I quickly walked away. She only asked for a kiss and the words "I Love You," which I couldn't do. I went to the room and opened it just as I was about to close it.

"Would you mind letting me in?' Haru said as he entered the room and closed the door.