5.hungry

I don't know if almost dying made me dumber but I don't think I can comprehend what's happening.

He is cooking lunch.The guy who threw me in a lake after I told him I can't swim and watched as I struggled to breathe then waited till I was okay with giving up on myself to pull me out is cooking us lunch.

Wow,universe,I knew you had some jokes but this shit is golden.And the worst part is I can't pull the I'm not hungry card because I actually am.

"You shouldn't have said what you said to me "

Its sounds more like a command than a statement.

"I know,I actually had a lot of time to think about it while I was fighting for my life"

He puts a plate in front of me and it smells amazing.I don't even know what it is and I don't care.Im starving.He passes me a fork and knife and looks me in the eyes.

"If you try anything,I'll kill you "

"You're quite the assassin aren't you?"

"You're funny"says the guy who didn't even smile.

"Thank you"

"I hate it"

You know what,I'm not even going to get into this.Shit,the food is so good I can't help but close my eyes to appreciate it.

"Where'd you learn how to cook"

"I kidnapped an Italian chef and told  him to teach me otherwise I'd cut of his toes and feed them to him"

I'm not entirely sure if that was a joke,sarcasm or just plain psycho.

"Aaammh,well did you at least offer to let him cook his toes cause maybe they wouldn't have been that bad?"

"Shut up and eat you're food.i know you're hungry"