Two

My parents were the perfect parents before the year that sent my dad insane and then neither of them could cope at all, my dad was in and out of rehab for alcohol abuse and my mum was there to pick up the bottles that he left behind, she really stood in when he did go to rehab, she was the dad and the mum for a long time until he came out and even when he came out the dad I knew had vanished.

June 2018, it was roughly say 9pm at night and my brother had decided to go to a friend's house-party and just you know enjoy the last feeling of university before he would have to go out to the big world and get a proper job and put those 3 years of Business to use, we were ready for him to be the next lawyer, after my dad of course, seen as my dad always saw himself as a big shot when it came to comparisons for my brother. My brother and his friends were always known all around town for drinking and driving around, not at the same time but they were known as the party lads and they stayed true to that name, every party you bet your ass they were there.

This night was different, my brother was helping me out with homework when he got a call from Zeek, his flatmate in Uni saying that they were all going back to Uni early so they were having a party to say goodbye to summer break and to finish off their last part of Uni, so when he heard that he knew he couldn't miss out or pass the opportunity because he could hang out with me another time and he had so much more time with me seen as he was coming back for Christmas.

On the way to the party he must have hit something in the road or I don't know something was in the road side blocking him from carrying on his journey and he had gotten out to check not knowing that there was a police chase in the area which so happened to be going down the same road as he was, one thing turned to another as he went back to his car to get in, the car that was being chased smashed into him killing him instantly, in a flash my brother was gone.

July 2018, I got the diagnosed with lymphoma, that's when we started noticing the crumble in my dad, he was slowly losing himself, he had lost his son a month prior and now he was getting the news that his daughter had cancer, I knew how he felt and mum felt exactly the same, how do you properly digest that you could possible lose your second child right after you just gotten used to the fact your son is now longer alive? you don't, that's how.

After my diagnosis, it really just turned into me and my mum and then dad would be in an out rehab and drinking his days away like I said before, then obviously my dad turned to moaning at me and trying to make me better by shoving information down my throat and working up mum about what could possible happen, and I'm not gonna lie I got worse, I was almost wanting to shut down, just everything got so much and dad was just getting worse and worse by the day.

Next thing we know he gets fired and then sent to rehab again this time for a longer period of time, they help him get clean while me and mum find out ways to make me better, and now thinking back to it, how the hell did my mum do it? how is she staying strong for all of us? she lost her son, her husband has gone off the wire and now her daughter is trying to battle cancer as well, all while she is being a mother and wife and holding a job still. A superhero that's who she is.

Nov 2018 was the most pain numbing experience ever, I'll never forget it because I learned that month that nothing really matters at the end of the day, the worst gets worst and you can't help that, I used to cry over and over again about it but now what is there to cry over?

I remember I walked in from school and the house was dead silent which wasn't unusual but also was a little out of place so I decided just to dump my stuff in my room, then head out to the backyard as that was probably where dad was seen as we had a decent backyard and he had his little work station shed thing out there so it was like a mini man cave, I walked in and he was sitting on his chair looking at his awards shelf that was placed behind his desk, I walked over and twirled the chair around to be met by dad knocked out cold, it was as if Jack Frost walked across his body and the devil came and took his soul from his chest the way his shirt was unbuttoned and his head was hung down.

I remember screaming my lungs out and running out and calling an ambulance, nothing else was running through my head but the sheer fact that I had found my dad dead, the man that was supposed to walk me down the aisle, the man that was supposed to look after my children when I was at work, the one that was supposed to be there when I was cancer free!

When my mum arrived at the hospital we both just sat there and broke down. Fun fact but still actually really sad fact Dr Wheeler was the one to give us the bad news about my dad, obviously even though he was literally dead when I found him they still had to do their professional stuff and then announce it to us and since then Dr Wheeler has always been able to deliver bad news to us with ease and I think he knows I prefer the bad better than the good, because the good always came with a 50% chance to it.

And to this day I still don't know how my mum is still perfectly sane in her mind and not in a physic ward, because I would have lost some hair in the process of all that bad news.