A curse and a blessing! Why bother talking?

Kerren soon opened his eyes. How is that possible? Well... There are many ways to reincarnate, but this place? This is a purgatory of sorts... I honestly dont have a single idea how he ended up here...

Theoretically, it is possible to enter this place by using a high-level array, several millions tons of purest mana-crystals... or a Dragon Heart... But still... for Kerren to be here is simply outrageous!

Many great people tried to enter it - none succeeded, and now a f*kking porter entered it by destroying a Dragon Heart! OUTRAGEOUS! SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS!

...

Okay... I dont even know what to say... But, you must be interested in this place, right? Why did so many people wanted to go here? Well, the answer is simple!

As Kerren tried to understand where the hell he is, he looked around. The only thing he could see was a giant tree surrounded by... Nothing. Literally. The whole place was just... white. There was nothing but a tree.

Such a bizzare sight was not what Kerren understood as afterlife, he thought that after he died he'll at least get to see his life flash by his eyes or something like that, maybe even proper afterlife, with a nice garden and some nice people!

But, sadly, such a place did not exist, believe me when i say that... Anyway, as Kerren looked around he found nothing better to do than to go to a tree in the distance.

For some reason, even after walking for a considerable amount of time he didn't get closer. It greatly worried him.

-* So, even after walking for so much time i didn't get closer, huh?... -- was he getting insane, or is it that he was right?

-* Wait... -- he thought after looking down -- what the hell am i? -- his body was... uh... not a body? I would describe it as a white blob with black... something? Surely that's not smoke... oozing out of him.

Of course, he had hands, legs and everything else a humanoid had, but it was... blurred and had no colors but white, he resembled a ghost of sorts. It didn't scare Kerren, he was interested in this body of his, so he began experimenting.

He tried to pinch himself, no pain followed. He tried ripping the "hair" that he had, it didn't work. Whatever method he tried to damage his body simply refused to work. Not even a single change could be made to it, not only that, he found out that he was not feeling tired, hungry or thirsty.

-* So... Following that same logic, if i wont be able to get out i will be stuck here forever? -- he was right, not only getting here was impossible - leaving this place was as hard.

Lots of "time" passed. Kerren didn't anything better to do but to focus on absorbing and refining all that knowledge he got from the facility. It was truly a huge amount, it was if a caveman was given access to space-time travel with all that was used to get up to this point - thousands years of accumulation.

Sadly, Kerren couldn't experiment, it was a pity, all he could do was to theorise and practice everything he knew in his mind. Fighting was one thing, technically - he could practice it, but fighting air with bare hands wasn't that useful of a thing.

As he was refining his theories he noticed a little detail - the tree became seemingly closer to him. This made Kerren feel like this place was made to test him by some godlike being, for reasons unknown. Why would anybody test a porter who got lucky? Not even i understand it, i would if he got here by himself, but this was pure coincidence! Or maybe there's something i'm not aware of?..

...

As boring "days" went by, Kerren was at his limit. Theory and practice were two completely different things. While in theory he could experiment all he wanted, on practice it was impossible due to... reasons.

Even if he theorised about making new alloys, for example, what of it? Can he try making them? Of course not! Not only he didn't have the metals needed, there wasn't even any temperature here! So, following that logic, how could he know if he was right or not?

Of course, he could experiment in his mind infinitely, and if he ever got out he could solidify his knowledge by experimenting, but was that really something good to do? What if he never got out? More than that, Kerren could simply forget what theories he made, so what use they had?

...

Out of infinite boredom Kerren started playing with his body. N-no... not in that way! He started making "funny" things with the ooze that flew out of him.... Uhhh...

Black ooze! Whatever is coming out of him! All parts of his body, okay!? I mean that! He is using it for his experiments now!

At first it was nothing, it simply moved down, but with time Kerren found out a way to make it do whatever he wanted! He thought of this ooze as of mana, because to him, they were the same, they both followed his will, they both could make funny things...

-* Wait... If this black ooze is like mana... Can i cast spells with it!? -- he quickly realised.

Boom! Something opened in Kerren's mind. It was a discovery! A way to get out of this place! A way to finally do something not with his imagination!

Kerren was so passionate about this ooze that he forgot about time! Not only that, when he first realised what this ooze truly is the world around him changed!

The tree became closer once more, so close that if he saw it he would think that only a few steps will allow him to touch it! More than that, the "sky" was now filled with stars! It was truly beautiful, it was like being far from civilization and observing the sky! Truly a beautiful sight Kerren completely ignored!

...

Kerren long since found out about the changes in the world. Sadly, no matter what he did he couldn't get closer to the tree. The only thing that ever changed were the stars! Kerren found out that as time passed they faded!

That could only mean one thing! First - it's a timer, if all of them faded this world would dissapear along with Kerren. Second - stars were counting his achievements! The more he knew - the more stars would fade, this, for some reason, also made Kerren think that if they all faded - he would be free from this place.

-* But... What about the tree, then? -- this thought never left his mind since he first arrived here. This tree never changed, it only got closer to him, seemingly on its own. Kerren knew that by touching it, or at least arriving closer, will give him a great fortune!

Sadly, he had no way to approach it. Even though he could cast simple spells now - it was impossible. Kerren didn't know many in the first place, they were scarce, he didn't know that to make a spell you simply need to wish for something to happen, his knowledge on this matter was horrible at this point of time.

Even if he knew that and came up with new spells he could use, it was pointless, the tree couldn't be approached unless the tree itself wanted so. It was a test for Kerren, wether or not he passed it - he will get back to his world.

What was the test exactly? That i dont know. But i were to think about it, maybe the tree wanted Kerren to realise something? As he understood more and more things he soon realised that he lacked in something that he needed the most - magic knowledge!

Not just spells, magic in general! Of course, he didn't have any mana, only it's... brother? Whatever that ooze is it behaved exactly like mana and he had an ample amount of it!

Following that thought Kerren started to think of ways to use mana. He started with the most basic things he knew. Well... those things were completely wrong, he, and most of the being in general, thought that mana was something natural, that it either appeared on it's own in some point of time, or simply existed since the very beggining.

That was not completely wrong, but not correct either. Just by knowing what mana is in detail one could achieve great things. How? Well, if you knew that mana is not a hostile thing, but a thing that always followed it's owners wish no matter what, would you not achieve something? Sooner or later it would click for you that if mana simply followed your wishes - you just need to wish!

Of course, many mages used mana in a similiar matter, ordering it to do something, but if they didn't truly want it - it wont work, same with spells, the more you wanted it to happen - stronger it would be.

...

Kerren got a gist of it. He understood he concept behind spellmaking. Of course, it was purely his own semi-insane thought as he already spent as absurd amount of time alove, but it was not that far from the truth. He could not manipulate mana subconsciously, if before he needed to concentrate to do something with it - now it was as simple as breathing.

From time to time he made an illusion to make himself feel better. It was not something simple, like women or riches, he... he made his house that he lived in, it was not something great, just a little house far away in the mountain. Few knew it was even there, Kerren frequently ran away to it to rest from all the dangers and stress of his porter life.

With time his ability grew, and he could make the whole mountain range. Then he could add colors to it... With time, this illusion of his became so realistic not a single person, including me, would believe that it was made from mana! Of course, this skill of his wasn't all that omnipotent, no matter how hard he tried to make something he could touch - he couldn't. Not only that, it was semi-transparent. so one would immediately see that it's an illusion.

But, if one didn't have great eyesight, would he mistake it for something real? Absolutely not, the whole illusion of his just felt... strange? It was like seeing a mirage, of course, there were oasises in the desert, but... it just didn't feel right for one to be here?.. So... Why is it here?..

For Kerren thought... it didn't matter, he was the one who made it in the first place, he knew it was all fake, but he still appreciated his own skill. To be frank - it was miraculous, such skill in mana-manipulation... Kerren might already be #1 person in it.

I'm not even talking about those illusions, he was simply one with mana at this point, he could even make himself look fancier, adding some effects to his movement or make his eyes glow, it was useless but it could make him look badass!

...

Kerren tried to do crazier and crazier things. He could already do some insane things. For example - flying. It was not a thing in this world! One could use an artefact to fly, yes, but flying with your own ability!? More than that, he didn't even need anything to do that! If one used an artefact to fly, it would be the same as driving a car! It couldn't make some fast maneuvers from a standstill, but he could! This ability alone could make him a first-class fighter!

Why, you ask? Because Kerren managed to break laws of physics! Kinetic energy simply did not exist! He could instantly accelerate himself to insane speed or stop completely in literally no time! Would there be any consiquences? At first, there were, Kerren felt that even tho he was fine now, if he did that with a real body he would die, but he fixed that problem using brute force and countless tries. Soon, his flying skill was perfected and could be used instead of walking!

Well... that is if he had enourmous amounts of mana, since this method used... uh... I will say a lot, but it's... uhm... impossible to use, okay? Kerren doesn't know that yet, but... dont tell him, okay? it will be a great surprise for him, since he forgot that in the real world people didn't have an infinite amount of mana like he does... How much exactly he needed? Well... For a proper acceleration spell mages usually needed an equivalent of 2 gramms of 75% pure A crystal in one minute... Kerrens method used... Uh... 3 Kilograms of 100% pure A crystals... per second...

Of course, in that second he could potentially slay a great enemy by simply ramming himself into one, but it was TOO expensive to use, at least for now...

What else he did? Nothing really, he simply became insane, and i honestly think that the fact that he lasted that long could be an achievement! He was not screaming bullcrap type of insane, he was... a psycho, more or less. It's not like he was sane before he was stuck here, but now his insanity grew even further...

Was it a bad thing? Honestly - no, if he was sane his mind would've collapsed after a few years of being alone, Kerren however lasted a lot longer than that, and it's not like his mind was in bad shape, on the contrary, he felt great! Like he was finally free from the shackles he wasn't even aware of!

Something else? Uhm... not really, he didn't do much apart from that, while his mana-manipulation and flying were indeed great, he didn't do anything else, he simply could not make anything to this world. If he tried making fire it would not work, same with everything else. Was in possible normally? Of course! Making water, fire and even metals out of mana was not unusual. It was hard, yes, but possible! Here, however...

...

Time went by. Stars faded. Kerren lost hist mind completely. He didn't feel anything at all, he was like a lifeless doll doing the same thing over and over again. If one looked at him now, they would think that this was an automaton, tasked with something strange!

He didn't even notice that the tree he previously wanted to get to was right in front of him!

What was that he was doing? Nothing important, he was polishing his mana control. If previously i could say that he was PROBABLY number one... Now it was certain, not a single being alive or dead could rival him in that, after all he had countless years of practice.

Not only he could manipulate each and every particle of mana, he speed in doing that was as insane as he was! Doing such things with mana was not something people didn't do, there is a profession called "Mana-artist", one makes illusions or simply moving objects with mana, movies, even. Professors used that method in high-ranking school in many worlds...

But Kerren... One could say that at this point he was one with mana! The only reason to that is... he forgot how his house in the mountain looked like, he forgot how he himself looked, the only thing he could remember was his name and what he was in general. Countless theories filled his mind, countless new ways that could or could not work was all that worried him.

He long since abandoned his thought of not experimenting with different things in his mind, why bother? It's not like he's getting out sane, why not make some absurd theories, for example why not mix pure mana crystals with Adrevite? Adrevite itself had great mana-conductivity and durability, what if we added even more!?.. Why stop there? Add some Gohrium to make it almost impossible to break! Even adding mana crystals to Adrevite was almost impossible since those two were completely different things, it was akin mixing fire and dirt! Adding Gohrium to the mix? Insane!

He didn't on making one such theory, he made countless! It was obvious to him that he would be lucky if only a single one worked, but why not? He had nothing better to do anyway...

...

Soon, the last star faded as he completed another theory of his. It was as insane as any other theory he made in recent time. This one was about creating life. Why not think about that too? In theory, he was one of the best craftsmen there is! Weapons? Easily. Jewelry? Jokerly! Automatons? Soul Crystals? Armor? Alloys? Anything you want!

All that in theory, of course, he doesn't have any practice whatsoever...

As he stopped thinking about creating life, he looked above. He didn't see any stars, only a pitch-black sky above him. As he looked down he saw white as could be ground. Now, the only difference in the landscape was the tree that he was leaning on.

He long since noticed it's presence, but didn't think anything about it. Why bother? If it could get him out of here we would've left this place already! It simply existed, not doing anything.

Kerren stood up. He looked at the tree behind him.

- Dont you think i've spent enough time here? Let me out you dry piece of sh*t. -- he said something for the first time since he came here. He didn't think anything of it, why bother talking? He's alone here.

- I am not dry. -- the tree answered.

Before Kerren could even begin to feel shocked, his vision faded.