Ideas

When leaving Cloe's house, the whole situation felt very uneventful, due to me reviewing no knowledge on the wolf, only thing I learned is that for Cidny its an extremely touchy subject, also she knows that my persona is a lie, in the end she learned more than I did. When exiting Cloe immediately approached me afterwards, getting centimeters away from my face, she looks like she is trying to find something, she then says "your not sweating" then grabs my arms and drags me to the direction of Theo's house when asking her and trying to pull away she would just grab my arm again it's quite ridiculous how we got there by her just dragging me, when arrive she finally speaks by telling me that she is following a lead on an old motorcycle and is heading the Goliath to find someone whose name starts with the letter K, then knocks on the door to then run the opposite way, Ms.Lambert is the one to open it, (uhh hi Ms lambert is uh Theo in today "no he's training, but I'm would you like to come in" umm sure) while entering into the apartment my mind only focuses on Nina, even when Ms.Lambert is trying to talk to me, my words are short and simple, while I can't stop thinking about her, my thoughts of her go back to a sweet memory that we have, we were in the Amsterdam building and we were just sitting on the floor my back against the wall and Nina in-between my legs, we were in are school uniforms, and she is talking to me about our future, but the only thing that I was focused on were her eyes, she then faced me to take off my glasses to then frown at me while blushing at the same time she was mad that my focus was elsewhere, but was happy that it was still on her, after taking of my glasses she told me she loved me, and only me, and there is no one else in the world that she'd rather be with than me, we would then kiss as we would put our heads together. It feels easier, the weight that the wolf carried on his shoulders all alone, felt a little less heavier when I'm with Nina, maybe this is why he was with Karma, someone to love? No a partner, a friend, and someone who can make you feel at home no matter where you are. Home ? His home, the wolf had a house assigned to him in Goliath, maybe Isla can allow me and Nina to go to the Goliath, to check it out, calling Cloe would help tk, but that would only lead her into being very suspicious, anyhow Nina needs a break from the life that we live, for me there is always bad guys to kill, and now there are mysterious that need to be solved, my life keeps getting heavier every single day, sometime the idea of suicide pops into my brain, but then I just laugh and say that suicide is for cowards, as well as for those who lost everything and don't see the option to them, because they're blind by either depression or hate. That really does remind me of the time thats I told Nina, after she heard those words leave my mouth she pushed me around while almost tearing up, as she yelled at me, her love for me is sometimes overwhelming for me as well as her, because she idolizes my ability to be able to laugh off some of the pain that comes with the job, also being able to execute my mission with a hundred percent proficiency. My reason for laughing it off is my way of dealing with the chaos that is war. Most but if not all people who came out of it use this as a way of coping with ptsd, having someone like Nina means that there is no need to laugh, but instead a need to confide, when she sits in front of me in class she does this small miniscule thing such as when I'm sleeping she takes my glasses, puts them on then takes a dozen photos, then everyday changes the background of her data pad.with a different image, she was so happy about us that she took a photo with me then sent is to everyone in the squad, all that I received was flak from the guys as well as a scoff from Isla its cute. Sometimes I  think about the wolf and did he ever have any experiences like this when he was in school, sure he didn't go until he was seventeen, but he had people who love him uncoditionaly, for example Cidny was older than him, from what I collected she must've been older than him, seeing her she she must've been the type that hates the idea of being with someone younger than her, but for some reason she found something in him that she like and took a huge risk being with him, even after he killed her family, when she got mad and kicked me out of her house, those feeling she carried still lingured within her taring at her, now thinking about it she must've been very torn when she poisnand him, so having his death on her hands must be eating at her… that could lead to cloudy judgement (um Ms lambert "oh yes what is it" thank you for having me over but I need to leave "oh okay") after leaving the apartment I run to Mrs Adams as fast as my legs allow me, on arrival her door is locked, after kicking it multiple it finally breaks, she has a gun pointed to her head, my body immediatly lunges at her, I'm to late, she collapses I'm my arms while I catch the gun (oh no, oh no, no no no no, fuck, why, why did you do that no oh my God you fool Carver "nooki!!!") A voice other than my screams at me it's Landon, he looks at me and the gun then sees her body, before lunging at me, trying to counter him is difficult because of his strength it's all rage as he growls at me (listen it wasn't "shut up shut up shut up !!!!") He then gets the upper hand by throwing me against a wall he then chokes me, my breathing slows as the world becomes fade (Nina….) Then suddenly a gun goes off, as landon release his grip, looking at where the gun went off it seems to be Nina firing above Landon, he then throws a knife at her that he took from his leg nailing her in the chest, immediately I'm enthralled with rage, my fist don't stop as they collide with his face continuously for the next thirty seconds before my strength rips his head off from his shoulders then running to Nina, I hold her realizing that she was only hit in the shoulder (Nina baby are you okay) she grudges as my hands take the knife out quickly she then says "I'm fine, what about you ?" While hold her in my arms I began to rock like a cradle (I'm so happy I thought I lost you "all that you lost is your dignity" I'm… "shhhh your to loud")

The ones who define us

Carrying Nina to safety became my first priority, she calls Isla to tell her what happened as I retrieve the camera footage from their Household tol show to Isla later, but I come to a realization that my hands just killed one of my own, there is no regret, only happiness, happiness in the fact that Nina is still alive, while getting around their household Nina calls Isla to tell her everything, suddenly there is a feeling overwhelming me, it's as if someone is watching me, when looking around the lights suddenly flash, then they flicker as an image of a body faces me, one second it's the next second my body is going through a wall, instantly my body rushes to my attacker, when hitting it, it seems to be having no effect, as its body is metal, when the light flicker on and off, I'm able to see that I'm fighting a robot who body shape is the same as my own [you can't win] that's Michaels voice, he impaled me to the wall with his arm [listen… Dante] trying to move he then twist his arm only causing me more pain, he then shows me images through a holographic projection, it's images of the wolf in a yacht he seems to be fighting people, then there are images of Saya, I know what she looks like due to all the information on her that we have archived, she's giving birth, soon a child comes out it's a male, she seems to be still giving birth, she only had one child to my knowledge, they give the baby to… that my mother, she asks Saya " what should we name the boy" Saya answers quickly as she is in immense pain "Dante Gabriela Carver…. Ahhh give him your last name….. ahhh he can't know who his father is" my mother nods at that fact then runs away, moments after my mother leaves the wolf come in firing at the doctor then the feed disappears [now you know (fuck you I know who I am ? You walking pile of bolts) listen to me you just killed someone who was very dear to me you luck she's not actually dead, or so would you] what he says is making no sense, but he is right Cidny isn't dead because that body was not hers, she has a crack in her skin showing some of her cybernetic, it's very small but noticeable, but that was something that I might need to keep to myself, it would've saved Landon's life, but Cidny is planning something, and my curiosity is killing me literally and figuratively. Another image pops behind Michael it's looks to be Cidny "stay out of this, or you will find yourself alone amidst your fight against the darkness" she says her hand calms my face as she says "you look exactly like him, I wish things were different, then we could be been a family, now don't speak, but listen to what I have to say, your father was an amazing person, he was someone you could always feel safe around, yes his death is on my hands, but when I first poisoned him, I was in a dark place, because after he killed my family, my anger grew, and I didn't want to, but in the end ended up doing so, he never knew, but it ended up eating at me everyday, thought of him being him which is some what hard to explain at times [you got that right] I fell in love with him, and everyday he saw he would smile slightly, it would only make it harder for me to smile back because of what I did, everyone he came back it… it made me so happy, but when he puked out blood when Cloe was little (wait did you just say Cloe) [yes she is Huntley's daughter and your twin sister] (what…) I know it's very shocking, but keep listening, when I saw him pile blood I knew that he was a walking corpse, my heart couldn't bare to look at him anymore, also to live in a place where he would eventually die, was not ideal (okay why tell me this) maybe it's because you look so much like him, everytime I look at your face, I see the man that stole my heart so many years ago (I don't believe this) [believe what you want, we will come back for you] (what….what does that me) you'll find out in time" moment later Michael releases his grip, as soon as he does that, the lights stop flickering and they're gone, my body throws up his as the information is to overwhelming, also that I might have to keep this from Isla, who hates people who withheld information from her, none of that can be proven true unless I ask my mom, getting to her will be hard due to the fact that she married the vice president of the United States. What about Nina, no! This'll be something that is needed to be done alone, no I need her for this unlike the wolf who was alone no matter who he was with, or where he was at. Can't help but feel sorry for him, as he was lied to and betrayed until he died. It's hilariously ironic that the same thing is happening to me, must come in the family. After exiting the house I'm constantly attacked by multiple people all wearing military gear, they are trying to take Nina, when she gets slapped my mind goes blank. Somehow I end up in an area from my childhood, it the park where Isla would take me to just watch me play, but it was hard for me because knowing that after we left the park my training would continue, my mother would watch me from a distance, my knowledge of that time is cloudy, but this was the time that my sand Castle was destroyed and my first instinct was to attack the kid who destroyed it, looking at the sandbox, I'm able to see myself but it is just and effigy of myself, or my humanity to be exact, because the effigy is wearing my clothes but the body is made of black shadows as the eyes are white like diamond. For some reason a wolf walks up to me, it transforms into a man, it's the wolf, he gives me a necklace, when getting closer I'm able to see that it's a pendant inside is coordinates, it seems to be an area within the Goliath, the wolf then looks at me, his face looks less scared then his was, when getting a closer look at him, it's not him but me.