"Dreams" chapter 20

Why not just kill me instead, for all my strength, power, resilience, and ability to do the impossible, I always fail the ones close to me, no matter how many times I tell myself this, It never ends, the darkness inside me enjoys this fact, my pain only makes him stronger, he's been there since the beginning though it's never showed its face to me before, after Saya died in front of me, then left me a child, I got scared, scared that my activities would soon become this child's only reality, it happened to Saya, it destroyed her, it changed her into someone who believed that if she destroyed the world then her pain would stop, then Cidny who tried to lay down her own path, but then to have that path destroyed by me, taking her family away as well as taking her heart, after stealing her heart I than abandoned her when she needed me most, Monika who knew the cards the world dealt her was unfair, but she found happiness within me, though her happiness then drove itself into someone who wasn't her, she couldn't accept that fact so she believed that her happiness is better off without her, lastly Kelly who had more setbacks than anyone else, but percaverered just to find some slim of hope in someone's arms as she fell in love it made her mundane school life end shortly after as well as letting her die suddenly in the arms of the one she held so dear. I see something, I'm sitting on a beach, watching Cleo play in the water, she looks to be about twelve years old, Cidny walks along the beach with Candyce as they watch Cleo, they wave to me, someone is touching my shoulder turning to see who it is they then blind me "guess who?" that's karma's voice ? (Karma? "Oh darn I thought I got you that time") she then sits down next to me, she has some more scars than before her is so white that the water glistens right of "I can feel your eyes on me (do you know how you look) nope (you look…) I know you don't have to tell me (your words are so lifeless, emotionless, but you never stop ceasing to amaze me) wow that little harsh well what amazing is the fact that your still here… oh here comes Cleo" Cleo skips her way to me bringing me a shell the shape of a heart saying "dad look, can you give this to Mom for me please" taking that shell, I then use my right hand to drill holes through while taking the string from karmas bra to seem in through the hole (no this is for you, it's a necklace) she smiles at me, then karma looks at me with the intent to kill, her words are just as lifeless as her eyes, this almost feels real "dad your crying again 'is he really cleo' qutie K don't slap him 'well if he's crying the best way to cheer him up is by hitting him' dad are you okay (I this a dream) well you just got slapped so I don't think so… cutie k don't 'shit she caught me' I don't know why you always mistreat him,also sometimes I just think your not really blind 'oh really can a blind women do this' no shemph cajdh doi thach… ow my cheeks" watching these two girls, gives me… Candyce and Cidny sit down with them, Candyce looks exactly the same as she always has, also her bikini is as skimpy as her regular, Cidny's hair short, her body is still the same as it was when it was given to her, though she has more scars on her body then the last time I've seen it "foods ready" the person walking towards with a platter of food is chris, he's as blonde as ever, and older, he has tattoos all over his arms, my body moves on its own as the distance between me and Chris become a foot away from me "uhhhhh guys  H is hugging… no stop… no this is weird someone help me…" Chris pushes me aways as I begin to laugh at the fact that this is a dream. Everyone looks at me while my body moves towards the water, collapsing in the sand, realizing that the pain inside is gone, the feeling of being at ease flows through me, while looking at the sea Cidny walk up to me she sits down next to me though her face turns into immediate disgust after seeing me smile at her, she laughs at me, I laugh with her. Cleo then jumps on both of us she laughs with us (is this real "of course it is after all your a demon" what did you just say "she said your a demon dad") the girls look at me as they turn into black effigy that smile at me as they stabba in the place of my scars. Everything turns into a darkness that swallows me whole, in front of me is a darker image of myself it starts to fight me as we struggle on the ground I realize there is no winning in this fight, though saying all the people that I've failed makes the darkness waver somehow while it's on the ground my hands start choking it, but the image takes the form of Cindy "baby… please… don't… do this…. I… lo…" my grip tightens to make it as quick as possible, her tongue starts to swell as tears are falling down her face she touched my cheek then her pulse stopped.

(Aahhhhh no!!!) waking up from that dream was strange, trying to be aware of my surroundings, it looks as if I'm in a bed the sun is shining through a large glass window making my way to the bathroom the ground is covered in a collective of clothes. Looking in the mirror all I can see is my body has changed, my hair is long, there are scars where there wasn't any before, my ears are pierced, my right arm has more of an organic feel to it, a tattoo on my chest it's states the names of everyone that has died looking at it closer it seems to be that it was carved into my body with a knife, after finding a phone I call Cory {yellow (Cory its) James baby where have you been Mikki's been worried sick (how long have I been gone) are you doing that tell me what you know or die things (I said how long!) Geez Louise and I just wanted to chate (Cory!) Don't know seven months (...) H darling are you there…} the phone then ran out of minutes due to it being a burner phone, I searched the room finding some clothes as well as a gun, exiting my room I ran into a girl with red hair and red eyes (Megan!) she looks at me "yeah babe" she responded to me while placing her hand on my chest grabbing her hand I then pull her into the room then check the hallway after placing her in the room. My mind faltered as everything goes in an out of reality, I can't show this weakness, megan seems to have gotten naked as the clothes she was wearing are now on the ground leading to the bedroom, it's always a girl… always (Megan what are you doing?) She looks surprised, she then get up, then getting as close as she possibly can to then stare into my eyes, as she steps back she pondered something in her mind while placing the room, taking a knife that was on the dresser near the bathroom, I use it to cut my hair as well as my facial hair, Megan walks to the doorway of the bathroom, her footsteps are quite loud "H do you know where we are ?" She's quite perceptive "well? (No) do you know..(no) are you… are you James Huntley Adams (who else would I be) well about six months ago you told me to only call you Damian from now on, also you told me to stay by your side for whenever you needed something (did I now) you don't remember that (piece of advice before you get mad at me and start crying because the man you knew isn't here anymore, crying is not a good look for you) so was are time together just a lie (I don't remember what do you not… don't hit me) you… you said you needed me (Megan what did you see when you looked into my eyes) your stupid this is stupid, I'm stupid for ever believing that someone actually needed me for once (but I still need you to fill me in on the past six months) figure it out yourself (Megan… ugh six months ? Well Cidny is going to kick my ass) I'm leaving I hope we never see each other ever again you fucking asshole" that was very uneventful, she didn't even tell me where I am, while shaving it seems to me that my scars have been removed from my face, my hair still changes collor due to that fact that Saya experimented on me while I was incarcerated. My knife cuts my neck as a flash of images start attacking my mind aggressively, it a field a field of dead soldiers, there's me though it looks different from a third person perspective, my hands are carrying what seems to be two pistol running next to me is Megan now we're in a nightclub there are bodies of men and women everywhere on the bar table is me and Megan having sex while covered in blood. After the images stop my body seems to be on the ground, the images must've made me collapse. My gauntlet starts ringing to wake me up, {message from Mikianea Lambert: H Megan just came to me today, I don't know what you did to her, but you need to stop and come back, whatever you're doing isn't helping anyone, Megan did mention that you slaughtered a white hat hacker group because they wouldn't tell you where the nearest gang is, also your escapades are all over the news, are you not satisfied yet, you killed the families of the soldiers that killed Candyce for Christ sake, also I miss you a lot so please just come back. End of message} while the message played I got dressed in some new attire, grabbed a pistol then headed out of the hotel, while leaving the hotel it appears that wasn't really occupied  the architecture doesn't tell me anything, because it's mostly rubble in the lobby, there are some dead bodies on the ground. Upon leaving I finally figure out where I am, Boston Africa after the civil war broke out between the citizens of Africa and united Nations, though the civil war ended 10 years ago after a war lord who was helping the citizens of africa suddenly disappeared, without him the militia they built stood no chance against the Un. Megan must have taken the vehicle that we must've can here with, there are bodies everywhere by looking at the uniform on the bodies, they seem to be the citizens of Africa front, this must be the last of them, using a phone that I found on one of the bodies, attaching it to my gauntlet allows me to make calls to anyone without anyone listening in {hello Gideon residents (hello is karma there) hold on… Karma some boy wants to talk to you… Hello (karma).... H (yes)....... You fucking asshole, it's been 6 months (I know ) you know...guh you could've called told what you were doing, where you were going or how long you'd be gone (I'm sorry).... Sorry doesn't cut it, if you come back right now… I might forgive you (fine).... Ugh you…. You give me a headache, I swear sometimes…. you just, you know what where are you (Africa).... No your not (whatever you say)... I'm hanging up now} that went over very well, she gave me a chance to redeem myself, trying to call Nikki got me nowhere, Megan's ringtone was a bunch of vulgarity aimed at me, my head shakes while putting in Cidny's phone number, my hope is that she got a different one, though knowing her she'd forget to change it. It's starts to ring {hello this is Cidny Adams (...) "hey honey who is it" Landon quiet I'm trying to figure that out (c… )} she hangs up immediately after, her hate and disdain for me must be very strong. my next call is to Dimitri, when I worked with Cory, me and him would do a lot of jobs together we'd never talk, but we would bond through the way we work, he says he could pick me up in thirty minutes since he is the one that dropped me as well as Megan off in Boston. After meeting up with Dimitri he tell me about how Goliath has turned into the world's most notorious CC, a Cc is an acronym used to describe cities that have become the size of small countries. 

On arrival Dimitry gave me what he calls  a piece of advice in Russian telling me that my eyes have change they're not the eyes of a man but the eyes of an animal. He sees me always as the wolf who if caught in a trap he would chew his own leg of to survive. Whenever Dimitri  says something very methodical to me he always says it in Russian, then afterwards he hugs me until he almost breaks my ribs. Dimitri dropped me off on Goliath the left, also he gave me my old bike, he held onto it because he believes  it carries sentimental value to me. My first location is Karma's house, driving there it finally hit me that other voice from one I call Cidny was… it's best not to think about it, while being in front of karma house I try calling Mikki again, again straight to voicemail, karma walks outside the front door with Iris, stopping in front of the door,Iris slaps her in the back of the end probably  due to the fact that she doesn't need to look around because she's blind. Walking towards me neither of them notch I'm there (hi) Iris jump in the air before fainting karma stops then pushes her hair back with her hand before approaching me, are faces are almost touching, she is smiling at the moment, but then it turns into something that carried a lot of disdain towards me followed up with aggressive  hitting "you ducking… sick piece of work… you dirty mother dicker asshole…. (karma) you think you can just have sex with and tell me you like me and leave to chase your fucking ex (karma?) you know how hard it is for a blind women to find a man whose young built and has more fucking sex drive (karma calm down) no… no it's my turn to talk you emotional undeveloped piece of…. Piece of (are you done) no…  I'm just out of breath…. (I'm happy to see you) fuck….you I'm so happy to see you I hate it (should I leave) no just.. Give… Me… a minute whew…. (I'm sorry, I um lost control) that's… so vague let me touch your face (what) just let me touch your face…. Is… It … really you (well who else would I be)... I don't know (are you karma, the beautiful yet blind woman who has a strong right hook, who has also saved my life in more ways than one) if you keep saying stuff like that mom what are you doing 'you to having a moment thought I should leave' no he's going to buy us lunch 'oh what a gentleman' isn't that right… I mean after all we do need to catch up" next thing I knew we were having lunch, it's interesting  to watch how people interact with karma, while watching her, she always turns her head to the direction of sound as if hers ought was never missing, whenever she is talking to someone and there is sound behind her she doesn't turn to look but glances slightly to her left while still facing the person she is having a conversation with, even if the sound is someone moving slightly behind her. None of the workers have realized that she's blind all I'm doing is watching her have a conversation with her mother, also my gauntlet is decrypting emails that have been sent to me by Jasmine, her first email is about Candyce leaving me her apartment in Goliath, the second one was her telling me not to worry about the Americans anymore due to my involvement in Sweden,  United Kingdom , the Netherlands and Romania. Also it showed me the work that myself and Megan were doing which were assassination, tearing down the local government through blackmail or assaulting there government by force. Reviewing the files it seems that Candyce company was designated at terrorist through a set up method created by the cia so United States wouldn't need to rely on a mercenary group for their own defense. 

For some reason I found reading that explicitly boring to the point to where my reply to it was {where is Michael} even though it doesn't really matter to me Michael was given to Cidny the last time I checked, he was also designated with the task to look over Cleo for me. Jasmine replied but her emails are encrypted, while decrypting them it seems I've lost track of time me, Karma, Iris are already back at their house having dinner, there is a weird awkwardness in the air due to the fact that I only eat the food that is cooked by my own hands, feeling that rudeness I decide to leave before Karma's father tells me "take my daughter with you please" she object though by saying she wants to get into different outfit on first, she then leaves to her room while leaving me with her very perceptive, also very strange father while Iris washes the dishes "do you drink beer (no) do you drink whiskey (no)  did you fuck my daughter (yes) well ain't you calm and collective.. So where are you from (I was raised in an orphanage in the Swiss Alps) is that right… well I'm guessing you don't know your parents, but do you know what ethnicity you are (father American, mother Japanese) interesting…. Hmmm (can i ask you a question sir) sure go ahead as long as it's not about why my daughter is blind if you ask me one about that, I'll make sure the only thing left of you is that crap you call a right arm (why don't you arrest me)... Quite frankly I don't know what you mean (you seem to know a lot about me, your questions are faint, and your attitude around me is one that carries great malice towards me hidden behind your sarcasm).... Well shit, you got me alright you listen hear you mother fucker I've known who you are for a long time you murder people in cold blood, I had to hang up my badge because I could never catch you but the reason I haven't ripped your fucking head off is because you make my daughter happy,  you might not know this, she might not even tell you this but after she lost her sight she went into a large depression she almost killed herself, even after her failed attempt she wouldn't talk, then she brought you home, she was so happy (I'm sorry) don't apologize to me you know that front she puts on the sarcasm the hilarity at that she's blind is just a front she only doing it so you (it's okay you don't have to explain) If you ever (I won't)" while leaving that conversation the feeling that he presents a great threat is all but none, heading into Karma room I'm surprised by seeing her sleeping, she is half dressed, she didn't even make it to the bed properly, for being blind she has very high sense of awareness, though seems that it dumbs down when she is exhausted. By letting her sleep I'm able to go visit Mikki, Megan and also Cory at one of his clubs, Megan will probably tried to avoid me. During my time away Cory has grasped Goliath with an iron fist, taking control of commerce, security, and communication in the city, he has hired more mercenaries to work for him, they are all females he calls them his Harley Quinn's, they've been trained by Mikki to be more threatening, Jasmines emails told me this, it's Tuesday so he must be at the blooming rose where he generates the most income through selling bodies. On my way there it looks like there are more and more Americans on Goliath. When I entered  Cory's club he was the first to approach me telling me to join me as people dance to music too loud for them, trying to tell him that drinking is not for me he insist even more by telling me we didn't get to celebrate my birthday also he touches on the fact that if Megan sees me drunk she won't talk to me neither will Mikki even though my goal was to get more information about the Americans on Goliath, he is very persistent about making me drink with him he almost started to cry, as he gives me a drink he seems to have poured something into (what is this "vodka tonic"if I don't remember anything I will fucking kill you "what just loosen up a bit, it's not sexy") drinking cloud the judgment as well as leader to bad decisions, it doesn't help me at all with my own thoughts,after drinking it my mind goes blank as I see visuals of a world where my existence is only present to protect those close to me instead of trying to protect the world from itself, the images placed upfront of me are all the trials that were placed on me, the torture, death, happiness, and the lives that were spared because of my actions, there is a mass span of water in around me, standing beside me is a women without a face, she's holding my hand infront of me is Candyce telling me "I'm here waiting for you" trying to reach for her she slowly faded away into cherry blossoms. While on my knees all I can see below me is my own reflection, but this time he's not smiling at me, instead he's crying, he's holding a body, his image disappeared from below me, now I'm on a battlefield of mud, blood, and bodies. Someone passes through  my body, it's Karma, her eyes are a dead give away another person attacks her it's… Cidny they fight with swords Karma is holding the broken Blade that killed Chris, Cidny is fighting with sword carried by that machine that was used as an exoskeleton when Saya captured me. Nothing that I do stops them, my hand just phases through them, they fight with so much hate it just vents off of them Cidny stabs Karma straight through stomach Karl then pull herself closer as she then stabs Cidny in the neck while her blade goes ever deeper in Karma's stomach, Karma then begins to say something "I… might be blind… but any...dumb person could… could see that...you still loved him.. Even after you...killed him... " then like that there bodies explode as I wake up in an apartment with a headache, trying to compose myself my mind falters in ways that are worse than any pain that I've ever been through. A strange amount of body heat is coming from my left, from looking around the room it looks to be Candyce's old apartment that she left me, someone is watching me (Michael I know it's you) there is a dead silence then a slight groan from the body next to me, my headache isn't allowing me to think straight, flipping the blanket of the body next to reveals to be Karma, she then opens her eyes, she can see me somehow,because her eyes are looking into my, my mind must be playing tricks on me, so my hand touches her lips, while slowly bracing my thumb over her lips she shivers, knowing that she isn't a figment of my imagination I cover her back up, my headache starts hitting me even harder to the point where my cough is spurting out blood, running to the bathroom, my body starts commuting blood my hands quickly turn on the shower karma hears me and starts running towards  me "are you okay (sure)" this is the time where her being blind helps to the fact where she doesn't have to worry that my body is almost at its limit she can barely hear me vomiting due to the shower, though I start to laugh at the fact I'm dying but the thing that worries me is a blind women who can see right through my pain as well as see the flaws in my head strong decision making and impurities of my god complex for being the evil to destroy evil finding out that I dying because of all those. "what's so funny, if your laughing at the fact that you're an idiot…" she says before opening the door, she's smiling while laughing and crying "you could've been my happy ever after, living like we're in a fairy tale, but you and me were like more of a disaster, I should have known intoxicated your reputation, I could see the mischief in your eyes (how long) since we first met (I'm sorry) I new my father hated you for everything that you've ever done (except you) what I think doesn't matter (it matters to me) I think your needed in this world your the bridge that covers the gap between people with was created by corruption (no I'm a disease) just stop, don't put yourself down like that ever you… you put your life on the line for those who can't fight for themselves (I'm a monster a wolf who hunts his prey until there is nothing left) you say your a monster but look at yourself look at what you've done! you've…. (how can someone who can't even see, be able to see right through me, I hoped, which is something that I never do, hoping that you never knew who I was but you could still strip away the pain that grows inside me) then maybe your just the one that's blind,you can't see the outcome your actions yet you also blame yourself for the actions committed by other people (hahahahaha) h this isn't funny (just hate me please) how can I hate someone  who fights so I can have a tomorrow (leave me) no I'm not going to leave you (please just leave so I don't have to watch you…) it's okay I'm not leaving you" my mind begins to crumble as I finally break down while she holds me in the shower.

Comes night time 

The night arrives faster than I thought, Karma has fallen back to sleep after our talk in the shower, my hope was that she didn't know who I was even though there was a slim chance because after the Pandora incident as well as that night at the school everyone knows what I do when the night comes. My marker use to be the bodies left behind, but now it's the helmet, even though there is no real need for it anymore since people can see that it's me by the marking on it. The target on my head grows ever larger, putting on my equipment from the storage locker found in my apartment, my helmet is the one that Cindy shot, an overwhelming feeling of loss rolls over me like a wave, a note was placed next to it {dear James Huntley Adams this is Mikanea Lambert I found this in the wall of the black swan orphanage, I'm returning this to you because  this is helmet marks the mistakes you've made in life my only hope is that you learn from them, it might sound hypocritical coming from someone who can never stop loving an idiot who truly has no idea what he is, when you can back after Jasmine stopped you from chasing after a dream you could never truly grasp do to the fact you always hold yourself back in the regard that your angry, not at the world but at yourself. When you were brought back you were a different animal the presence you gave of was that of pure hate, you wouldn't talk to me or Cory, Megan tried talking to you but you ended up taking her clothes off as if she was just an object of pleasure. When you started to pack your thing Jasmine called me telling me that you accepted a position that would allow you to be of better help to people who needed it, but she could see that you were different, when I tried to talk to you, you through me on to the bed, you wouldn't say anything, I shouldn't have let you do that to me but it was the only way I could be close to you for one last time, you hurt me time and time again but somehow we always end up next to each other in someway is it my bad luck that everytime I tell myself I won't fall for you again, but I end up doing so everything's time,  I received your messages and your calls, they told me that you'd come back it made me happy though I was sad because it wasn't for me, even though Megan told me what you were doing the whole time you were gone… actually never mind it's best if I don't tell you that, just take this helmet and wear it as a reminder of not why you fight but who you fight for.} that message told me that the darkness inside me took complete control, also that Mikki, Mikki is someone who has tried to help me understand that my mistakes define me just like the scars on my body, she was the only friend that I really had, her and Chris are alike in that factor. Putting on my helmet my hud attaches to a firearm also found in the locker inscribed on it is the word fang, it seems to be from Cory it's a 45acp, 15 round magazine, it's fully customized, taking it I finally head out to a disturbance that popped up on my hud. After finishing my walk it seems to be easier for me to execute my movements, after killing a couple dozen gang members who are affiliated with the tried I head to the rooftop that Chris found me on after Cindy death from the explosion caused by Athena, someone has been watching me very closely, being here gives them the perfect opportunity to show themselves, they do so by attacking me first, coming at me with a sword, another attacks me from behind hastening my pistol I move to a more open rooftop to gain better ground, though there are more of them, they surround me very quickly,none of them are carrying any firearms by the looks of it one of them stand out by yelling "show yourself dog". Pulling out my karambit as well as taking off my helmet, by the looks of it there is about twenty eight of them, after a couple moments of silence one of them walks out from the rest of them he unsheathed his simagaugh… seeing that man bring back a memory of my time back with Monika when I was just a child,  there was a brunette kid who had his eye scooped out with a spoon in front of the class because he would continuously lose to me, so the instructor took the spoon that he was using to eat soup in the mess hall then continued to shove it into his eye. "do you remember me hound" the man says as he continues to approach me "I wouldn't expect you too, you look weaker than when we were kids, I came here to receive you for him (for who) I am talking! Like I said I was told to bring you back but I wasn't told to bring you back in one piece only alive so prepare yourself hound" he puts his simagaugh back on before rejoining the ranks of the other in black, they attack me one by one, they sent easy to take down maneuvering through them is my only way of killing them they slash at me constantly, even if I use the bodies of their ranks tas shield after cutting through five of them one of them parry's me to where they send my karambit flying, using my blade kept inside my gauntlet I cut down a couple more but they keep coming after two minutes of constant fighting my body is exhausted "you can't win wolf, your hunt has come to an end" that statement comes from the crowd of them, behind me is a wall, seems they've backed me up into a corner, by body pukes up blood, there are slashes all over my body (come on!) they attack me all at once, my body is starting to fail me every other person I cut down one of them stick there sword in my shoulder, ripping it out to their off his head, my right arm has gone numb, my breathing is heavier, I throw up again but onto one of them before using my teeth to rip his throat out, they all back away for the man with one eye to enter, puking again he say to me "give it up in don't want to fight you at your worst" lunging at him with the blade in my left hand it is just constant Parry ,repost, and maneuvering around each other he looks out of breath, I the distance I hear the sound of a suppressor from my right, about a dozen rounds of it the crown of men in black, they start falling back, while I fall to my knees, someone taps me on the shoulder saying "you did your best" looking up to them I get a better look at who it is, it's Isla my birth mother, my breathing increases as my puking persisted for one more time,  she carries me to my helmet without muttering a word, then taking me to her car to take me back to my apartment, there is nothing but silence as she carries me to the tub, we woke up karma in the process, even without her eyes she could tell that I was wounded, she doesn't panic but instead helps me to the tub, Isla starts throwing in ice in the tub as karma cleans my wound with an alcohol soaked towel, from looking at them they seems to have worked together like this before, they hook up an iv with my blood type. while Isla stitches me up, karma is cleaning my body of all the small cuts filling them with a skin filament called exo ski. Isla and Karma then say "well that was easy 'yeah well for losing lots of blood he can still move as if he wasn't even injured' he is my son after all 'why are you here Isla' I could ask you the same thing 'well' well nothing, he looks as if he trying to talk 'does it look like he's struggling to smile but he won't because it's too embarrassing' what ? No man your still crazy as ever 'I was your favorite apprentice' more like the daughter I never had 'whoa don't say that around him' he already Knows im his mother, besides I've been watching him with kotegawa for a long time now he might not understand but we both loved him even though we could never truly be next to him he's my biggest regret karma 'I'm sorry to hear' oh shut up you don't care 'true but oh I think he's trying to….' karma! Stop scaring me like that anyhow I'm going to investigate that group that attacked him, you just stay by his side you blind bitch, until further notice, remember to use that light to message me when he goes out" now it all make sense the gray foxes, their officer was a women who look like Isla but at the time I wasn't trying to think of my birth mother. When karma leaves the bathroom, the mirror comes into perfect view, my body looks destroyed, though looking at myself only causes me greater confusion on who that one eyed man was, the possibility that he was the one eyed kid from my time with Monika is very slim, also I have killed all my target as well as the people who stood in my way, getting out of the tub then taking out the iv my hand reaches for the alcohol to douse myself in it a burning sensation cover my body, I then use the shower to clean myself up, when my left hand hits the wall a compartment pops out with a bunch of different types of skin care, hair products and an item called hangover juice, karma starts walking my way, she either started the shower or the compartment opening, opening the shower door she starts to then stare at me (yes) after saying that her face changes from her regular mundane lack of emotional expression face to identify caries great anger as she pinches me, she begins to pout while pinching harder, she looks adorable, pulling her in she begins to struggle as her clothes get drenched, she constantly says stop over an over then later accepting the fact that she's stuck in here with me she then begins to wrap her hands around me, why did I do that, my mind must still be trying to figure out who that guy was, after getting out of the shower karma tries explaining to me her involvement with my birth mother, but for some odd reason I don't care so smiling at her stop her from saying anything doing so is not necessary due to the fact that she is blind, though she can understand what I'm feeling so she stops talking about it as she tries to get different pair of clothes, it's convenient that she has amazing spacial awareness, remembering the last time I was in candyce's apartment she had a secret room where she kept all the syringes that carried a chemical that attached itself to my g nome to cut off feeling in my nervous system for short a period of time, finding proved to be very easy because in her office there is a book on the shelf that says "pull me" doing so opens a room full of varied equipment, jewelry, weaponry, and medical supplies, the syringe is called instinct, she has many with my name on most of them, one of them is called the "last measure" taking that as well as instinct I put them both in the storage locker with my equipment, burning my bloody clothes then cleaning the blood off the floor karma realizes that I'm still awake she screams at me to go to sleep or she'll kill me, laughing at that thought helps me work a little quicker, after letting different clothes on instead of going to bed, I went out to the balcony to smoke a cigarette, the new cigarettes that are made now carry a type of caffeine that is soaked up by the lungs cause them to work quicker and instead of blowing toxic fumes out you blow out a type of condensed co2 that breaks down other chemicals in the air,  knowing this fact caused me to pick up the habit of smoking them. There seem to be an old radio on the balcony when turning it on it tunes itself to a station called the candyce classic, which gave me a curtain calm, the sun rises in front me, watching doesn't give me any joy or calm, but it reminds me that there are more that need to be done, this angers me in the way that I don't really understand yet, maybe being a wolf that hunts until there is nothing left is the curse that was given to me, because there is no one else who can handle that type of curse placed on them, asking anyone that I know about it will only make them tell me it's a gift that was given to me because truly inside I am kind, there is no point in contemplating this, when my body needs to fight it feeds off of the hate that my enemies has for me as well as the hate that lies deep within them. Arms wrap around my torso, it's karma "why won't you come to bed you need your rest (I don't need it) Stop being stubborn and rude isn't very charming (I'm sorry, I just want to recover the only way that I know how) which is lashing out using your primal desire to fuck, kill and eat (what do you not know about me) I don't know what you look like (...) yeah think on that (did you like me… No nevermind) you know no matter how much blood you lose to mentor always feel so warm (I'm like a candle and your fire is what lights it) that has to be the most sweetest thing I've ever heard and the most depressing one, I don't know how much time you have left, but I know this world still needs you (it's need… nevermind) what up with you, you can tell me anything (want to have sex) ...no… what… why did you shut up I'm going to bed." somehow always bringing something up that's profound throws anyone off guard, gives me a great opportunity to take control of the conversation as well. Joining her a little while after she starts distancing herself from me on the bed before getting closer after she fell asleep, though her legs are choking me my sight begins to fade also my consciousness. 

When they cry 

"get up" a tired voice followed up with settle slaps to the face, wake me up from being unconscious, Karma is somehow laying on top of me, pushing her off,  I then get up to see that the sun is still out while putting on some new clothes, there is a sore feel overwhelming my right shoulder after leaving the apartment Cory sent me a message with an address attached, it states he needs my help it most likely means he needs me to either kill someone, catch up, or he wants me to save him from almost being killed by another man's wife. When reaching the location the building is an old gospel church that was used as a front for training young children to play the role of an assassin, thief, and seducer. It was shut down due to my involvement 3 years ago, eenteingthe through the large doors the fire thing I see is Cory talking to someone, Mikki is there with Megan but they are sitting down at a distance watching Cory and the man talk, sitting behind them I ask what is going on but to no surprise to me they're completely silent, taking off the backpack that I put on in the apartments to arm myself just in case whatever is happening right now goes south, while putting on my helmet and arming myself with knives, pistol, and my instinct syringe. Megan turns my way to look at me while I start to inject myself with it, she mummers something, it does really stop me, after injecting myself, a strenuous amount of pain overwhelms me, my heart beat starts to sporadically pace itself, this only happens for a few seconds. After the pain rolls over the conversation  between Cory and that man ends as he leaves, then myself, Megan, and Mikki get up when Cory starts walking towards us , he only walks to me "oh how I've missed you watching me boo hoo whoa is me…. Alright girls do with him as you will, remember give him the parameters of the new rules of engagement now that he's in the city again, alright H darling you and me are going Richard so much fun" after he finished, he leaves faster than he would if he was in a firefight, looking back to the two in front of me they start attacking me very quickly deflecting their blows, this has become easy enough, it's as if I'm able to see their moves before they make them, but it's only for their stronger strikes, we move more to an open area, Mikki sees the slack in my right arm the shoots me with a tazer right into my shoulder activating my blood starts to vibrate pulling the cord takes the tazer away from her, though Megan is repeating trying to strike me with her bat, my blood vibrates more rapidly as my movements become quicker grabbing Mikki by her arm I use her as a bat to hit Megan, while they're down,my hand reaches for my gun, pulling it out I aim straight at them before the trigger is pulled, the eyes of someone other than Mikki and Megan's is watching me, when holstering my gun Megan lunges at me tackling me to the ground, taking advantage of the scenario by grabbing her arm to posture it to where I came out on top, though before hitting her my hand stop inches from her face my blood vibrates even more, but this time it causes large amounts of pain. Seconds after Megan starts to cry at the fact that tears are coming down  my face through my helmet, then she kicks me off, somehow while kicking me off she handcuffed me, Mikki then jumps on me putting me in a choke hold, throwing her off using my body weight she stabs my hands together grabbing her by her neck my hands tighten around her throat, she starts struggling while Megan tried pulling me off, Mikki punches my helmet again and again, then she starts rubbing her thumb on my helmet as she smiles, it reminds me of when Kelly was dying in my arms, and the last thing she did was pull her face to mine to where our foreheads connected, after remembering that my hands release themselves from her neck, then they grab the bat from Megan throwing it away from her then when my hands move to strike her she flinches, so I stop, after that I get a call from my apartment {hello… (Karma?) yes this is she (how did you) oh yeah this guy named Cory helped me call you (is he in the apartment right now) well of course (kick him out) why (just do it) no I have to have someone keep me company while your doing your stuff when you actually should be resting (he's trouble) so are you (good point) so what are you doing (I'm with a girl name… ) your with a girl! What the hell Huntley! (do I have to explain myself) no I already understood (I don't think you do) no I don't think you understand I'm here with a gay man who is to well dressed for a visit and your out there with other another girl (you're being a lit…. I'm sorry I'll come back immediately) uh-huh… alright I'll… see…I don't forgive you (I'm sorry) whatever just get back we have to talk (about?) you know (okay?) good bye} alright now that your sober with I can ask Mikki why did her and Megan attack me, before pressing a button that allows me to speak through my helmet, Mikki starts to talk "alright just don't talk 'Mikki don't' Megan he need to hear this from me, H you, your, ahh fuck it,  you're not allowed to conduct any evidence around Goliath anymore (okay) I said don't talk, that person that Cory was talking to earlier was here to tell Cory that if you conduct any of your activities in Goliath while Americans are present on Goliath we will have to turn you over to them (why) because the Americans want you dead their country still mournes the death of their soldiers 'I mean I don't care I just want you dead because you had sex with me and abused my emotions also you are a scum 'Megan stop' no he doesn't really give two shut about the Americans you and I both know that he can kill hundreds of them without batting an eye, but he can also toy with your emotions like the scumbag he is, he made me believe I actually had use when we fought together then suddenly he changes, and it shows me that he didn't need me to watch his back, he only needed me to have as tow he could have sex with. 'Megan stop please' no I am sick of this after you told me that time and time he would always choose… ' MEGAN! I said stop now leave us 'fine' finally we are alone (Mikki I) don't call me that anymore please, listen H I've watched you for so long, more than anyone, even… even longer than Monika, I…. I want you to know I've watched you time and time again hurt yourself, I thought it was for the people, I thought it was for Candyce, for Cindy, then Cleo came around I thought you did it so kids like her can have a better future, but after we attacked you today, I figured out you were doing it for yourself, when you were choking me, you gave off this I don't know energy as if you were enjoying yourself… it made me sick (Mikianea it is not what you… ) no James I don't want to hear it I've watched, listened and even fawned over you for a long time, we even fought together, but in an instant that I inflicted physical violence upon you, you didn't even flinch at the thought of what we've been through together… you just enjoyed the fact of getting your next kill (yes)  you not even denying it? (why would I lie to you) you…. Your… Your… why did you stop (I was reminded of kelly) it wasn't even me, you didn't care that you were about to kill me ? (no) oh my god…. I'm going to throw up, you make me… I want to see your face when I tell you this (okay--) answer me this… Did you ever once think about me as someone other than a friend or a tool to satisfy you intimate needs (I… I…. No) mmmm (mikianea calm do… ) calm down! Calm down! I gave you everything my heart, my body and what did you give me a dead Fucking brother, a broken heart and a baby that I'll never have now (what?) yes I was with child before you left for your six month retreat with Miss army slut, you came inside of me one time (why didn't you….) oh I was going to but when I went to the location that Jasmine sent me to tell you that I'm carrying your child I saw you fucking that ex army whore, after that blind bitch I was, I was on the edge but when you...when you…. I thought you wanted me to have your child and I was so happy I thought this fantasy mean't you chose me but I guess I was wrong (I'm sorry) your sorry? You don't… even know what you… put me through (please Don't cry)... Please leave…(but) I said leave! " listening to her I leave to go back to the apartment, all it truly takes to severe the red line that you've built with people is selfishness.  

Exiting the gospel I am then approached by the man with one eye, without even thinking my hand reaches for his throat, lifting him instantly off the ground as he squirms he starts to smile, but then I remember what Mikki told me about me conducting activities in Goliath, so my hand loosens the grip as he falls to the ground "you master, better tighten that leash now if you don't mind me I have to (you touch her you die slow)  I don't doubt that I'm actually looking forward to it." he then enters the gospel after making that state my hand punched the concrete wall of gospel building taking a small chunk out, before heading back to the apartment. On my return I stop at the front of the door my hand shakes as it reaches for the door knob, my darkness consumed me and caused so much pain in so little time, it's so pathetic how I let my own darkness consume me while on the wall opposite of facing the door, it slowly opens as Karma peeks her head out, she looks as if she is trying to say something but instead she just sits next to me and say "I'm here" while rubbing my shoulder, my head leans on her "Cory told me everything (am I doing the right thing?) you shouldn't question yourself like that, you mean well but sometimes don't end up doing well (haha that's very helpful)  trying my best here (do you actually like me or are you following the orders of…. Actually nevermind I don't really care, just tell me you love me) what ahh is the widdle wan confessing his feelings for little old me (never change) well I don't know about that, maybe I want to get fat, what would you do if I did that (...leave) wow really that hurts (you know you don't have to hit me, hey can I ask you a question) sure (you're blind how can sense me?) first off you always smell like blood either your own or someone else's, second you give off this aura, I know that seems weird but whenever you're near me I can feel that aura, your the only one that gives off, you understand what I'm saying (...no) shut up your just trying to ruin the moment you always seem to do that when you feel uncomfortable, it quite cute (that's rich, your perception is… Something) well if your blind and you like someone you have to be highly aware of how he speaks,  how loud his movements are even though for you that like asking for a unicorn, because your footsteps are so quiet, and you also have to try your best to make sure your not a handicap towards them (hmm) hmm!? That's really you have to say, your nothing to question how many people I've done this for (no) made you trying to do reverse psychology (no I don't care how you act as long as you're being true to yourself do what you want) you know…. That could be taken as an insult (let's go to bed) no! Sit down! Just sit with me for a couple more minutes (fine) I want to tell you something I really don't need you to be someone who goes out at night to… nevermind it's nothing just can you hold my hand (I know what your trying to say… I don't know if I can stop) by you keep going you might die then I'll be alone again… Do you think that's fair to me (no but you understand no one else can really do what I do) yes I do understand that, but still when I think about it, it hurts so much so that I'd rather die with you by your side (how much do you know about me) probably more than you (shh you hear that) yeah but Cory is the only one in the apartment (stay here) " large sounds of struggle come the apartment, bashing through the door, all I am able to see is men in black tying Cory up, charging them with a knife inside my shoe kills two of them, more come through the balcony they start trying to overwhelm me the, there seems to about thirty of them, they've taken down Cory, my face is being beaten as I try to fight back, so there is a loud voice saying "cease him" All of the men then rush me at once, holding me down while forcing my skull to look towards the direction of the voice it's the man with one eye, he has Karma, my body struggles more intensively, but then someone bashes me on the back of the skull knocking me out. 

After waking up, I find myself tied to a steel chair, upfront of me is Karma, my mouth is covered by some type of cloth,  all the men surround me, next to Karma, is Cory he looks as if he is near death, my shirt seems to be missing, looking at one of the men in black they seem to be heating up some type of tool, the man with approaches Cory, he uses plyers to rip off his fingernails "ahhhh what the fuck do you want I've done what you ask 'we asked you to detain him and you failed' ahhhh fuck you, I did exactly that if he doesn't leave Goliath he can't cause you anymore problems 'well yes,  but his strength is still to high' please just let them go ahhhh please I beg you" as soon as Cory says that my body start to shake as I try to get out of this chair, but the men in black hold me down, they force me to look at Cory as the one eyed man slices his throat, Cory struggles to breath as he chokes on his own blood, he looks at me and smile as the men in black stab him to death before throwing him off the balcony "alright now time for the girl" says the one eyed man as he slaps her awake (mmmmmm) after struggling to say something they then water board me while putting a cigarette out on my arm,  they put me back to a position where I can face Karma she can't see me but she knows I'm there "tell me your name young later 'fuck off'ooo that's a curse I'm going to have to punish you for that" the man then rips out one of her fingernails as she screams and cried my right arm rips itself from the chair trying reach for her before being stopped by the men in black they then hold me down as they brand me with the word wrath on my chest, after being branded they reset me to face Karma she tries saying "it's going to be okay just look at me its going to be fine" the one eyed man then state that she is blind to the crowd and says "you don't need those eyes" he has an ice pick Karma smile at me just like Cory did, he then stabs her in the eye, his men force me to watch as I struggle "how… Does it feel to have something you care about be destroyed right in front of you dog" he looks at me while gauged her eye out she tries not to scream, but she can't as he finishes she ask him "please stop we've done nothing to you" he answers only with stabbing her other eye saying "you have done nothing, but he took from me everything" me left arm rips the steel from my chair apart using the broken piece as a blade stabbing the men holding me down, then my arm is later dislocated then tied back up "before I take my leave I must first beat you till I get tired" he then start punching me until he gets tired. They all then leave me to watch Karma in that chair,  I start to cry more than I've ever had before, my right arm dislodged itself from my straps, my body crawls to her, her body is still warm using my gauntlet I call Isla before passing out.