Chapter 5 - part 4: "Quarrel"
"What did you do? " the voice of the woman with amber eyes and a slightly darker complexion than mine, became colder than ice.
Her screams certainly didn't help the situation. Alex had joined me in my chambers, acting as if nothing had happened, and when I confessed that I had been looking for information about her past, she went completely insane.
"Do you find it fun to dig into my past behind my back? I'm not your stupid puppet and if you think you can get away with it, you're wrong! You've surpassed all the limits... I hate you! "
She tried to leave the room, but I closed the door before she was able to open it completely, then I grabbed her wrists, pushing her against the wall: "Alex you are hiding something important from me?"
"Let me go or! "
"Or?"
"... I'll kill you " she growled through clenched teeth, seized by a mad anger towards me. Her words hurt me deeply, but her red eyes and the subsequent tears that streaked her face, made me realize that with my actions I had hurt her much more.
What could I do with her? Normally my solutions were always the most reasonable ones, the ones that brought the best result, but with her, everything was in vain.
My every attempt proved to be unsuccessful, my rash words... I became a different person with her and I lost control, I lost the confidence I had always had, the decision that made me strong.
" What do you think I should have done then? Keep trusting blindly when you know how hard it is for me? I'm sorry Alex, but I have to protect myself and my Empire, and your behavior can only make me think of the worst. Do my methods horrify you? I'm really sorry, it must be horrible for you to have to indulge me all the time, put up with me and sleep in my bed against your will! "
"Stop playing the victim ... I find it repulsive ." Her eyes were fixed on me, they showed a rancor too deep to be directed only towards me.
"Stop lying to me then! "
" I'm not lying to you! "
"Who is Fiamma? Why are you constantly leaving the palace? What are you planning?! "
After the conversation I had overheard between Fiamma and Alex, new doubts and new worries were born. I had already thought about what I would have to do to keep control of the situation, but I wanted to give Alex one last chance.
"Zeyana you are impossible. Is this what it is...? Are you jealous? Are you freaking jealous because I don't spend every moment of the day with you? Did you fall in love with me? Are you telling me this?! "
"That's not it! Answer my questions Alex, now! "
"Let me go!"
I walked away to restrain my anger and not risk being manipulated by her words and her whims. She always did that, she always wanted to win, but this time things weren't going to go the way she wanted!
Alex looked at me standing still against the wall: she was breathing heavily and she kept an eye on my every movement. I hated that look: it was so distant, cold, now unknown, it felt like she saw as her enemy number one at that moment, her executioner.
"Why do you always have to make things so difficult? Can't you see I'm trying to protect our relationship? Don't you understand that I'm not going to chain you to me in any way but I just want your wellbeing?"
"Yet your actions show the opposite."
Our fight seemed to get worse, our emotions were too explosive and we seriously risked hurting each other, so I decided to end it and avoid further stressing Alex: "Do what you want, I'm tired... if you want to betray me or if you want to continue to work with me... I don't care. This is my life and I have to tolerate it."
I reached the luxurious sofa in the room and grabbed the bottle of wine that I had placed on the table in front, taking a long sip and enjoying the bitter taste of the alcoholic drink. A familiar sting made its way from my chest to my throat and I felt my nerves slowly relax.
The silence made me realize that Alex hadn't left the room yet, but I didn't want to look into her eyes. The words I had spoken had been really forced and I was not fully aware of why I had said them.
I heard a sigh and footsteps, then the witch's arms tightened around my shoulders and she placed her head against mine: "I hate arguing with you Zey, but believe me, I would never betray you."
"I find it hard to trust you when you hide almost everything about you... I thought you would understand."
I took another sip of the wine, but the bottle was snatched from my hands and found Alex sitting next to me enjoying my favorite drink, with a smile on her face, her familiar grin she often used to escape problems.
"Okay, I'll answer all your questions, but before that..." she placed the bottle on the table and took my face in her hands, leaving delicate kisses on my cheek, following a path that led her to touch my lips. I did not refuse those affectionate gestures, she was stronger than my will and my body always surrendered to her.