The rebirth of Mbalenhle

So as I began to love myself more and discovered my true purpose in life I found that pain and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my truth. Not knowing your worth will make you settle for less I have settled for a life that was not created for me for so many years. And from today day forth I no longer settle for less because I am worth more than what meets the eye.

I am gold with a smile that could turn your life around many tried to dim my light for a second I almost allowed them to but the moment I found my true purpose they hated every bit of me. Because they knew what I was about to become and that killed them they knew that they had no strength to stop me. I was no longer facing this battle on my own you see and that destroyed them.

Many would agree I am a soul they could never replace the love I gave melted the hate away. This makes the one who hates me feel hopeless because their thought about me and the opinions they have about me seem meaningless to those who know me.

As of today going forth, I am no longer available for things that mess with my peace, and have come to understand how certain behavior effects people around me and how my actions can change their view of me if I place them in the situations whereby they may feel unsafe, and I needed to understand and to respect the boundaries they set because I know the pain of going through something you weren't ready for not ready for.

Today I will call this day a day of acknowledgment and self-respect as I begin to love myself more and people around me I stopped craving for a different life and I started appreciating my life more I have come to realize that everything that surrounded me is the most expensive item no money could buy, my inner child was inviting me to grow and I love was loving every bit of it because I have been waiting for this moment all my life.

I will call this day a day of maturity and self-acknowledgement as I allow myself to grow within and not rush the process I have allowed my soul to be free and to release anything that was not meant for me. I know my worth and for the first time in many years I know that I too deserve to be happy and to be loved beyond my expectations.

I have come to understand that at this point in life, I am in the right place at the right time. And that everything that happens to me happens for a reason not to break me rather to groom me and build me in one form or the either it may be painful but definitely worth it I no longer fear the obstacles placed in front of me today, because what is meant for me come my way will come in its own time.

I stop stealing my time on things that added no value in my life, and reflected on what mattered most I stopped chasing things that were not meant for me, and I rather spend my time with the people who mean the world to me. 

I stopped designing huge projects for the future which almost drained me because I have come to realize time can never be bought rather regret will be my closest friend. I only do what brings me joy, peace, and happiness, things I love to do and things that make my heart cheer and rejoice with no fear the only tears that will come out of my eyes now are the tears of joy and I will dance the night away to my rhythm.

I will call this day a day of simplicity and reliving as I cut myself off anything and everything toxic in my life, I cut myself off anything that is not good for my health whether it be friends, family, people, things, and situations, that drew me down and away from myself in the past I'm done with that. I honestly cannot explain the relief one feels it is as if I finally get to live again without anything weighing me down. 

From today going forth my inner peace and sanity matter more than anything. I stopped putting everybody first and did what mattered the most, which is living, living with zero regrets happiness love and laughter I used to call a person who did this a person who was selfish or a person who had a lot pride but today I have come to realize that to get the love you deserve one has to love themself first.

I stopped trying to always be right all the time and started listening to other people options on my situation which made me realize I was wrong less of the time so I had to stop blaming myself. I realized that I was so hard on myself forgetting that I was still young and only finding my feet. I almost hated the only person who made me survive who loved me and never left my side which was me. The very same person who was bruised and broken but never left my side when everybody else did. Today I discovered that there is nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

Rather that will help you to see life differently and you will be able to set your priorities straight. It feels like I finally get to live my life without having to look over my shoulder without having so much pressure weighing over me. 

I refuse to go on living in the past and worrying about the future today I only do what makes my Creator and my family happy, where everything that surrounds brings peace and joy in my heart today going forth I will only attract positive energy. 

Today I live each day with more appreciation, day by day, I feel like this cloud that has been hanging over me has been removed and I feel replenished. This is the fulfillment I have never felt before a fulfillment that I have always longed for throughout I life. Today I have removed those chains on my feet and I channel in with light. My light is worth more than any gold so I will no longer dim my light for anyone.

As I take each day as it comes I have realized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. So as I connected it to my heart, I started watering it with positive thoughts so that I could view life differently my mind became a valuable ally and it feels great there is a spark of light. I no longer live in fear for I now know better days are near so I will no longer shed any tear.

Today is the day of a rebirth a day of a connection of wisdom and endless knowledge I have finally unlocked a door that will only make my soul cheer my heart is at ease which has been the greatest decision I have ever made for myself.

I no longer live in fear rather I stand my ground and deal with anything that is meant to mess with my peace heads on for I now know what doesn't kill you makes me stronger. I know this because even stars collide, and out of their crashing, new worlds are born.

It's been 6 months now and I have finally woken up from my coma. The physiotherapy has been hard but I can finally walk now and it feels great. I'm not perfect but I'm just glad I can finally move around on my own.

I used my time in the hospital to reflect on everything with everything that has occurred. I realized that life is too short so I started my own company "The pain behind her smile organization"," The pain behind smile organization," helps young writers acknowledge their worth and grooms them to be an in-frangible generation. For many years their tears went unheard and their faces were never seen. 

We had to break the mentality women are meant to always understand how messed up society is. We do try to groom our men into normalizing expressing their emotions because bottling things up inside destroys them more than anything hence many of us fall into depression. 

We are all only human at the end of the day. We wanted to assist a lot of young individuals to know their true worth and to build a great foundation for them. I had sent a proposal to my psychologist when I was admitted telling him about my idea and he loved it. We recently opened our workshop, unfortunately, I was not able to attend the grand opening of our workshop because I am still in the hospital.

With everything that has happened, I have come to realize that life is unpredictable and no one could ever live it for you. I have no regrets but rather lessons learned and I will no longer live my life in fear because I know that it was not worth any of my tears and I should rather cheer because good days are almost near.