18 Missing him

Alanis

It's been a week since I've seen Beau and I miss him so much. He hasn't come to school and my mind has been roaming. What if he is being punished again for this? The last time we had anything to do with each other; his father locked him up in a cave.

Maddie hasn't been to school too; I haven't been able to face her. So, I'm glad I haven't had the opportunity. I've seen his friends around. They always come to school when he is absent. The last time I asked about him, Isabella almost had my head. I don't want to make the mistake again. I don't even know if he has told them anything.

I spend the day totally not focused on anything and as the day ends, I regret even coming in the first place. High-school is not my priority. Beau is. I haven't told my family. I don't know how to, but I need to.

I have been reluctant and for the past week, I somehow convinced myself that I am getting myself mentally prepared to open up. I need courage; I have none.

After school, I go home and my mind is made up. I need to tell them today. I walk into the house and Elu is the first person I see. She smiles at my presence "Hey," she greets me nicely.

"I need everyone in the living room. I have something important to discuss. Please tell father and mother. I will be downstairs in a minute" I go straight to the point.

She raises a brow "Is everything okay?" her eyes gleam as the ray of light from the window hits her.

"Yes."

I walk up the stairs and into my room. My reflection in the mirror is not the best sight. Looking at my hands, I am shaking. "Come on, you can do this. Just tell them the truth. Have no fear" I give myself words of encouragement.

It's not working.

There is a knock on my door and Eligio walks in without waiting for my answer. Eligio is Elu's link. He is in his early forties. The suit he is wearing is so snug on him, that it looks tailored. "You found her?"

I frown because he is being impatient and assuming things before, I tell him "You will find out soon." I take off my clothes and put on a fresh pair. He is still watching me.

"Something's wrong. You are supposed to be happy but you look far from it," he sits down on my work chair and I shake my head "Nothing's wrong. I am perfectly content with my link." I want to act brave and happy. I don't regret Beau but I hate that we have all these obstacles to deal with. I fucking hate that.

"There we go. I am so happy for you." he stands up and taps my shoulder encouragingly.

"Let's go down." I lead him out of my room and to the living room. Everyone has gathered already. They all look at me with a curious expression.

Father speaks first "Have you found her?" he already knows the only reason I could've called them all like this.

I nod.

He smiles brightly "Where is she? You should've brought her to us" he is excited for me and I know I will tarnish his excitement once I tell him the truth.

"It's more complicated than that" I am doing this. I want things to go faster between us and the only way that can happen is when I become one with him. I need to tell everyone about him.

Darrien scoffs. I kinda expect him to say something snarky but he is being too quiet and that's even scarier.

"He's a wolf." I hit the nail on the head. I see all their expressions and it is what I expected. They are all shocked with wide eyes. The only person that looks happy is Darrien. Belis is the first to say something.

"Are you trying to make a joke right now?" he questions in disbelief. I shake my head because the one most likely to support me is Eligio. I am closest to him even though he is years older than me. Belis was the first one father turned in the 1600's. his light blonde hair, it is so striking which makes him look not human. He is linked to Sateen. They have been together the longest and I look up to them so much. I have always wanted to find someone that would also be my forever and that's why I won't let go of Beau. I feel it when I am with him, I feel the happiness to the loss of loneliness.

I won't throw that away.

Elanis is the second one. He is in his late twenties; his hair is dark brown with the darkest eyes I have ever seen. Elanis is the softest one in our family. He rarely speaks only when he needs to. I don't expect him to say anything today. Unless we end up in a fistfight. He is the settler in our family. He hates violence. Elanis is linked to Pennaly. He found her in the early '90s and they have been thriving happily.

Darrien is yet to find a link. We were turned at the same time and maybe that's why he hates me so much. I have never felt a brotherly love with him the way I do with the rest of my brothers.

"No," I answer him blankly.

He frowns "Is this possible. Father, mother. Can that happen?" we all turn to them and for the first time today, I look at mother. Her black hair falls over her shoulder. I am scared most of her opinion because I don't want to disappoint her. She has been the one person in this family that blindly supports me. All the mistakes I made; she has always been there to guide me. I can't lose her right now to this.

"This is out of my purview," father answers. He doesn't seem angry. I can't even tell how he feels. I go into their heads because I need to know what I am against. Reading their minds will show me.

As vampires, we all have different abilities. I read minds, so why not use it to my advantage.

I need to consult Eli again. I shouldn't say anything until I am sure.

"He also feels the same."

This is so great. He is fucking done with.

Darrien's mind is dirty as usual. Of course, he would be happy that this would happen to me. I didn't expect him to suddenly give a shit about me. "Only a fucking wimp like you will have to think negative thoughts. Why not say it out to me" I glare at him suddenly getting pissed.

He frowns upon realization "Why should I say it out when you can easily hear my thoughts. Asshole" he smirks.

Fuck, I hate him so much.

"Enough you two. Alanis, do not read anyone's mind. You've been warned so many times." Belis warns me. the fact that I can hear what they are thinking is frustrating to them and as a rule, I am not supposed to.

I laugh "Then you all say what you're thinking. Don't just stare at me like I'm the plague"

"We are still trying to process all you've said" Mother speaks for the first time. I look at her with a faint smile "What do you think mother. I know this is a lot. It's a lot for me too but what I feel is too much to ignore" I pour out my heart to her.

"You can't ignore it. When I met your father, I was human. I gave up everything for him. So, don't ever think about letting go of your soulmate"

This is a lot easier than I expected. Everyone is taking it better than I thought they would. "Does he accept that you are a Vampire?" Eligio asks.

I shrug "He is not completely okay with it. He is fighting a lot of demons and he still needs to get his family on board" I explain.

Darrien laughs "You're fucking screwed" he is dancing at my misfortune. The excitement in his eyes is making my skin crawl. I ignore him and face father and mother "Are you guys okay with this? I know it is a lot to take in and I have been thinking of ways to soften the blow but this is not something I can control. I just need the most important people in my life to support me" I am rubbing it in. I need them to know that they are all that matters.

"Can we just do some more research on this? I will speak to the fore-ones and we will reflect on it," father tells me. I nod because this is a lot better than I expected them to take it. The fact that everyone is calm right now is a miracle.

I have to take it with grace.

"Alright"

We all go back to our respective rooms and there is a knock on my door. I look to the door with a deep breath. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. I need a couple of minutes to breathe. The door opens and Eligio walks in without waiting for an answer.

"I've said everything I need to say," I tell him blatantly.

He rolls his eyes and sits down on the bed next to me "I have seen a same-sex link before. You are not the first, you're just the first to ever link with a mutt"

I remain quiet.

"Does it scare you?" he is genuinely concerned for me.

I haven't been thinking about all the problems that will arise from this situation because I don't want to give myself more stress. I know that acceptance from my kind and Beau's kind won't come easy. People will not understand, they will think this is an act of rebelling.

This thing is not as black and white as it should be. I am a man who was chosen by the deities to be with someone else. This is out of my control but people won't see it like that.

"No" I lie.

He reaches for me and I don't pull away "You know you can always talk to me��� he is being as caring as he always is with me. Eligio and I have a bond. It has always been that way. That's why I know i can count on him. Elu only cares about me because of her Man.

"I know" I sigh.

He hugs me and I let him. His hug is comforting, makes me feel like everything will be okay. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. I don't know if I will get an opportunity to see Beau again. I don't even know what is going on with him. I miss him so much and I can't even go see him.

"It'll all work out" he whispers into my ear.

I take a deep breath and my heart beats in my chest. I feel him, I know he is breathing and alive. I can feel sadness emitting from him. I can feel the pain in his heart.

He misses me too.