1 Prologue
"Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle--it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key."
- Ally Condie
It was a rainy day.
Equivalent to a sorrowing soul and a narrow mind.
Everything was blurry because of tears.
No one can help her except herself.
"Why do we need to give all, in the name of love?"
We keep on giving everything we have
Even though nothing left on us.
And sometimes, we just let everything just go with the flow,
No matter how painful the way is.
A blinded eyes, a shattered heart.
Everything was a mess.
"How can we go back to the time where everything was fine?"
Rushed outside the house, drunk, devastated.
Shouting into the top of her lungs.
"Why?! Is this what you want us to feel? To be miserable? Wrecked? Fucked up?"
She thinks she doesn't deserve to live, doesn't deserve to breathe.
"Louise! Come back here!"
She hears nothing but rain and thunderstorm.
"Give me that Louise. How dare you do this? Your dad was here!"
She refused to give a bottle of beer.
"So what are you trying to say? That I must be perfect in front of him? After what he has done to our family? Do I have to stay quiet? You know, I can't tell you my own problems because of him, that I rather keep all this shit thinking about how will you handle it, us. But no, I'm pretty tired. So just let me do my own thing and continue being pathetic over that man!"
And a slap landed on her cheeks.
"I wish I didn't have a daughter like you, Louise. I wish I just abort you when I knew I'm pregnant. You're such dishonor to this family!"
A fast driving car came to their way...
*booooogsh!*
"Mom!!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
A light was killing her dark vision
she feels numb, finally, no pain at all.
"It was the anesthesia. Need to observe her more. Let me know if she feels sudden changes on her body, or in the way she talks."
she opens her eyes and sees people around her.
but she didn't know them.
"W-who are you? W-where am I?"
"Louise, I'm your father. Remember?"
"What? I don't know you. What am I doing here?"
---------------------------------------------------------------
"But how did you supposed to overcome that? I mean, you cannot remember everything in your past but, having such kind of photographic memory means you're one of the most genius people in the world!"
"Shut up Dr. Steve, I'm not perfect as you're thinking. I'm pretty sure there's something behind that accident. Well, the neurologists told me that once I recovered my memories, my ability to remember everything will be gone. Like, how was that possible?"
"Oh yeah. My friend told me about that thing, it'll be possible because of the shock. That may be bad. But for me, if I were you, I'll just forget my past and enjoy the present."
"How about the future? How can I move forward knowing there's something bad in my past?"
"But if you tried as you said, you're ability will be affected. Remember, you go through that state because of it. Are you willing to let go of everything you have for the sake of remembering your past?"
----------------------------------------------------------------
"It scares me how hard it is to remember life before you. I can't even make the comparisons anymore, because my memories of that time have all the depth of a photograph. It seems foolish to play games for better and worse. It's simply a matter of is and is no longer."
― David Levithan
