Chapter Nine

Caught in the unwanted

MURDER 

• the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another without justification or valid excuse, especially when killing another human with malice

A black abyss is suddenly around me, I cough trying to regain my breath, my hands wander over my neck, traces of his fingers lied there, turning into a deep shade of purple.

A sudden scream surrounds the silence and I cover my ears trying to block it, it was the same voice I had heard before, a woman full of despair and nothing more, no trace of human happiness, no sense of blissful feeling. It stops and my eyes are forced to flutter open. I was back in the room, it looked different than before, the walls were painted a deep shade of maroon instead of the dark blue ones from before and even the bed frame looked different.

It was empty, the sheets were neatly done but that soon changed as the door swung open. A woman screams, flailing her arms around in a desperate attempt in making him let go, he doesn't. The same malicious smile is on his lips and he throws her roughly unto the bed.

"Please! Stop! Someone help me!" she attempts to stand up but he pushes her down with his weight. She was crying, fat tears strolled down her cheeks, her face was already bruised, her lip cut open, and her arms were filled with bruises.

"Plead all you want. No one's going to come to help you. No one's even going to remember you. Just a dumb fucked up slut" he sneers, taking off his pants with one hand while pressing her deeper into the bed with the other.

She looked frail, her figure was smaller than of Katy's but she didn't seem intoxicated, just badly beaten up but even so, she tries and tries to get out of his grip, never minding the fact that even if she did manage to, she could never escape. He was right, no one was going to help her.

"Please don't do this! I won't tell anyone please!" he rips down her dress, exposing her naked body and his eyes turn darker with lust. I was there and yet I wasn't. This was a figment of my imagination yet it was real, the same man loomed over her, younger, she looked fragile compared to his frame but he doesn't care. He lets out a laugh, sending shivers down my spine.

Katy

I needed to get back, stop dreaming this nightmare but I couldn't. I was glued to my spot, the pain around my neck still remained.

"No!" she screams, punching the back of his head with all her strength and he visibly stiffens at the motion, her eyes widen in realization and she shakes her head furiously.

"No! No! I'm sorry! Please!" but the impending doom was unstoppable. He sits himself up, his legs wrapped around her waist tightly and even with only that she still couldn't move. He rolls his shoulders back, clearly infuriated.

"Stupid fuck" he mumbles. I watch as his hands fly across her cheek, the loud sound occupies the room and I gasp, a painful red mark stinging at the side of her cheek.

But he doesn't stop. He punches her gut, making her scream in pain, she tries to cover her stomach but he easily grabs both her wrist to keep them in place.

"Fuck you!" he lets out a laugh, he punches her face, blood drips from her nose and her eyes are widened in shock, unable to comprehend the pain. Her arm limps over her head and her eyes are barely able to keep open, she breaths through her shaky lips that dripped with blood, her legs limp under his weight.

"Awww! Don't die so fucking soon!" he whines, grasping her cheeks and shaking her head roughly, sending blood splattering on the floor.

He pauses, letting out a frustrated sigh. All I felt was rage, something so inhumane was happening right before my eyes, he was merciless, not even the cries of an innocent child would falter his cold heart and his stoic stare would pierce deep into the fears of his companions. He lets her arms go but they were already worn out, unable to even lift them. She lets out a moan of pain, forcing her eyes to open, she didn't want to accept it, to accept death that stared her in the eyes.

He presses slowly deep into her neck, her eyes widen but all she could do was shake her body in pain, moving slightly from side to side in a pathetic attempt to stop him, she was relentless, she refused to give up and my heart ached at her desperation. He killed her, the woman in my nightmares and the man still living so happily, I doubt he even remembers her name.

"No..." her last breath, struggling to even get a proper word but then I see it. Her eyes land on me, they're shaking in fear and it was clear that she was tired, defeated but even with that she looked hopeful, that somehow in some way she would survive this. I stiffen when her open mouth twitches into a small smile. She can see me.

"Aiko" I gasp, her eyes roll to the back of her head and her body limps, life taken away but he doesn't stop, he chokes her lifeless body, shaking it with rage. I feel tears rolling down my cheeks and I am filled with longing. She knew me, she knew my name.

I gasp, my throat was burning and as I jolt awake the pain in my shoulders sends me back. I was sweating, desperate to catch my breath. I felt sick in my stomach and I couldn't deny it as I run to the bathroom, throwing up the contents of my stomach.

I'm shaking in fear and my eyes watered with tears. I didn't know what to feel anymore. Sadness, rage, and regret ran through my mind and guilt made my stomach twist in knots.

Katy. Katy. Katy.

Her name rang in my head and I was fearing morning for the first time in my life, I dreaded waking up. I had the sudden urge to go back in time and do something different. Something good.

"Oh god" I sobbed quietly, my body limp in the bathroom floor. Please be alive. I couldn't even bare the thought of seeing Anne, seeing her friends, and telling the truth to Jake. I couldn't bare myself to do it. I cried silently in the bathroom until I heard a door opening, holding back my sobs, I flush away the contents of my stomach and pull myself off the floor, wobbling slightly in the process.

I could barely even understand what had happened, the other woman in my dream who I didn't know knew me...saw me. She was in the past, Jacobs was younger then and I couldn't help but feel overwhelming sadness every time I remembered her face, her voice.

I found it pitiful, she must have been a beautiful woman before all of this but if she was murdered before, that man's face would've come about in the news but he hasn't. He was rich, her death buried along with lies and cover ups and justice was left unserved. But if I bring myself to think that Katy is...dead, I wouldn't let the same thing happen. Not anymore.

I drown myself in the warm waters, looking at my red puffy eyes from crying to much, there was bruises on my neck and every time I looked at it, it served as a reminder that everything was real. I wear a turtle neck over it and soon found myself in the back of the classroom, looking out the window as the grassy fields by the school gates get crowded with every passing minute.

"There you are" My eyes dart to the sound of her voice, my eyes widen as if on instinct, my heart beating with guilt but Anne walked towards me with a smile, unknowing of anything.

"Elaine made us lunch but you left early" she gently places the neatly packed lunch on my desk and I visibly relax, guilt, it was running through my veins and I dreaded the thought of an outburst. They didn't know I was there, it was impossible but even so I felt like the murderer was myself.

"Oh...uhm..thanks" I try to look away, hopefully my red eyes had gone away by now but she doesn't leave.

She settles herself on the desk beside me and sighs.

"I'm sorry Aiko. I know I've been a little bit out of it and I've just realized how much of a child I'm being" she chuckles, rolling her eyes. I stare at her in silence, she was well aware of our growing distance, maybe she even made it herself, but she was owning up to it now, I wanted to smile, to hug her in comfort and gladness but I couldn't, it made me want to cry. Why now? I didn't deserve her anymore, her smile and her love was something I couldn't bear to have.

"I.." her eyes casts down to her fidgeting fingers, a slight blush forming on her cheeks

"I can't tell you why yet but...I will..someday" she offers me a smile and I nod meekly, looking away. I hear the chair scrape against the floor, her figure towering over me

"Well..I'll get going then" I nod again. I just wanted to cry loudly, I wanted to scream. She didn't deserve this, she deserves greater, more than this. I'm sorry Anne. It seems that I've been saying that a lot yet I can never seem to mean it. Apologizing would mean never doing it again yet I find myself back to where I started every single time. Back to the dark tunnel, bitterness of never having seen the light and every time I get a glimpse at it, I could only let it slip through my hands.

The bell rings and the classroom is soon filled with students but even as the teacher talks I found myself zoning out, her voice muffled by my own thoughts and I could only watch as the time ticked slowly, wondering what fate has laid out for me and I couldn't brush off the knots in my stomach, my journey felt as if it was coming to an end and I wasn't ready to know the truth yet, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to find out anymore, if it were to be as painful as this, I would rather look with a blind eye.

Classes went by with a blur, I didn't see Katy and even managed to sneakily ask Anne where she was, she hasn't heard from her either. I could hear their loud voices in the cafeteria wondering where she was but they rationalized and laughed, thinking she's probably hung over or some other dumb reason, I left soon after, trying to block my negative thoughts but failing miserably.

I've seen Jake in the hallway once or twice, his face slightly healed and less obvious, he would look around once or twice and I managed to duck in the crowd so he wouldn't see me, I just hope he won't start genuinely trying to find me, I'm not the best at playing hide and seek.

The bell rang signaling glorious dismissal and I wanted nothing more than to leave my body and find that place, hoping the knot in my stomach was just misunderstood. I grab my bag as the classroom was soon empty, but I could hear loud voices in the hallways and a string of curses, I slowly push open the door, but it wouldn't work.

"Hey! Stop pushing!" I could hear people's complains louder and louder and I force the door open, my eyes widening at the sight. The hallways were filled with students enthusiastic to go home but it seems the doors haven't been opened.

"There you are" I freeze at the familiar voice and turn around to see Jake pushing through the crowd, they mumble curses as he passes but he doesn't even spare them a glance.

"I've been looking for you the whole day" He grins and I frown at his lack of knowledge. It was then and there that I just wanted to tell him the truth, to cry and get scolded at and to be soon comforted afterwards, at least, that's how I imagined it but I was too afraid to even look him in the eye.

"Oh...I've been busy" I mumble and I could see his face drop in dismay. This isn't right. I'm pushing people away when they try to lift my spirits up with their normal bubbly selves but knowing that they didn't know the horrible truth irked me. I'm carrying this burden alone knowing that it is how it should be, but it hurts. It makes me want to burst out in tears, scream in frustration or maybe even just drown myself for everything to be over.

"Everybody just calm down! You all are instructed to go to the school gym now!" A teacher's voice booms in the hallway and more of them show up, ushering students to go to the gym. They groan in complains but the teacher's looks were stern with growing frustration.

"What's going on?" I head Jake mumble as we get carried away by the wave of students, we follow their pace and I feel Jake's hand touch my back, ushering me to stay close to him and I do, I look around, trying to find Anne but it was impossible with the amount of students around.

"I don't know" The doors swing open and students file inside, they form a straight line and my heart beats nervously. My eyes wander over the stage, my face falling in fear as I see a familiar woman stood at the midst of it, she was crying, her eyes red with tears, holding a piece of paper tightly in her hands.

"Isn't that Katy's mom?" I freeze at the familiar set of voices and Anne stares at me with gladness, rushing over to my side and I lean unto her for comfort, my legs were weak at the sight of Katy's mother, crying and everyone at school being gathered, it only meant one thing and no one but me knew the truth but even if I told them I couldn't explain anything, they wouldn't believe me, only Jake was able to see me.

"Alright students!" Our principal stood on stage, a solemn look on his face and the students' voices die down in whispers.

"I apologize for the sudden inconvenience but there is a very important news that all of you need to know also in hopes of you being able to help" he looks over to Katy's mother, who wipes her tears with the back of her hand, breathing in deeply as she's handed the microphone.

"Uhm..My name is Jenny. I am Katy's mom. I know that some of you may not know her but maybe you've seen her around..uhm.." she stumbles, showing everyone the paper in her hand, a picture of Katy and "Missing" was written under it. The teachers hands out the paper, students passing them until one lands on me. I grip it tightly, staring at her smiling features, so different from the last.

"She went out yesterday night..she..uhm..usually does but she always comes back by 3 in the morning, that was always our deal and I know my Katy would never break it" I glance at Anne, who's face falls with worry, her eyes watering as Jenny holds back her sobs, the principal tries to comfort her but its no use, he wouldn't know what it felt like.

"I..I don't really know where she goes to but she always told me it was important. If anyone has seen her yesterday night please call the number on the poster, any information would be really helpful" The students soon break out in chatter, Jake remains silent while Anne went over to her friends who's faces were filled with worry, they talked amongst themselves and I could tell they were torn whether to tell Katy's mother the truth or not. But they knew Katy better than I did, if her mom claims she never breaks her promise, then it must be the truth.

The students were soon dismissed, they held the posters in their hands and even the careless ones kept it, the lower grades had no idea who she was yet they kept the posters, I overheard some of them trying to post it on lampposts to help and some were making up theories.

All the while my heart was slowly eating itself up with guilt and every step felt more heavy than before, at the corner of my eye I could see Anne's group of friends stay behind, going over to Katy's mom who had busted out into tears. I clench my fists in frustration.

I needed to tell the police. No one else would ever believe me but the police might be desperate to find any sort of leads and pointing out a single name which I knew to be true would be a glimmer of hope that they would follow. I needed to tell them, I can't let Katy end up being the woman in my dreams. The woman who knew me.

"I've got to go" I mumble, rushing past Jake who stops in his steps as he calls out for me to wait but I don't. I walk faster until the clutter of students disappeared, going closer and closer towards the police station.

It was going to sound crazy but I needed to try and if they aren't willing to do anything then I would do it myself. Injustice had always reigned throughout history and thousands of legacies but I wasn't going to let that happen with the people I held dear, although I barely even knew Katy, I felt at fault, thousands of what if's running in my head until I'm only left with guilt and tears falling over my cheeks. Pure agony, sadness.

I could hear a loud argument inside the police station, a man was being dragged by a few police officers as he argues about what he had done wrong, my eyes wander over to their board hung on the wall, Katy's poster was already there and I swallow back my nervous thoughts, gathering all the courage I had to persuade them to take action.

"Are you a friend of hers?" I jolt at the sudden voice behind me and he chuckles, he was an officer, a mug in one hand and a folder in the other. My eyes wander back to the poster and debate whether I should lie or not, maybe they'd believe me more if I told them that I was.

"Yes..I...I have some information I wanted to tell the police directly" I try to be stern, hoping he wouldn't treat me as a pathetic teenager who's opinion barely matters. He frowns then lets out a laugh.

"Why the long face? I'm sure she's just fine" he waves a hand and I feel anger bubbling inside me, what does he know?

A mother is desperate out there and all he could think was that Katy had just been another irresponsible teenager who had run away, his eyes held no sympathy, it was worse than of Jacobs', at least he acknowledged he was a criminal, but to be a police officer yet so selfishly careless with his words, it was an annoying sight to behold.

"Anyway, my name is Matthew, and luckily for you, I'm the one handling the case. There hasn't been any other leads yet so I have all the time in my hands to listen to whatever you have to say" he grins, taking a sip of his drink. I hold back the urge to curse at him, how could he not take this seriously?

"Follow me" he starts walking away from me and I mindlessly follow his lead, he waves over officers who greets at him and smile but I couldn't help but feel annoyed at him, staring daggers at the back of his head, it was unlucky for him to be handling this case, Jenny and Katy deserved better than this, hell, anyone deserves better than this.

We go further into the police station until only a few more officers wandered in the halls, he stops and pushes a door open revealing a small office that looked far more luxurious than the others, I doubt he has a high rank to even have this, it must have been some dumb luck or he's just as cunning as he looks.

"Make yourself comfortable" he motions at the chair as he settles on his own beside his desk, leaning back as if we were only having a chat. I clench my fists, my jaw tightens with annoyance.

"I don't have time for this officer Matthew. Katy could be in danger, for all we know she could already be dead!" This takes him aback, frowning at my sudden burst of anger, he clearly didn't like it but he purses his lips into a thin line.

"Alright then. I'll be recording your testimony, tell me anything you want, although I doubt it would be of any help" he smiles at me yet his eyes glare in my direction. My throat feels stuck at his sudden change of aura but I wasn't backing down just yet. He takes out his phone, pressing record and pushing it closer towards my direction.

"Go ahead" I swallow the nervousness in my throat and force myself to talk with conviction instead of fear, I wanted them to know and feel that I wasn't just playing around.

"I..I saw Katy in a bar the night before she disappeared..it's owned by a man named Jacobs. She..she met up with a friend of hers named William and they drove off somewhere together but she had told me before that she had been invited to Jacobs house along with her friend William...that's the last time I saw her" the lie falls smoothly out of my mouth and the officer holds a grim expression on his face, he presses stop on the record button and I hoped that he would take action.

But what he does next makes my heart beat loudly against my chest.

"Ah. I see" he doesn't move the phone from the desk, his finger moves along the screen, showing me, mocking me as he presses delete on the record.

"I'm not stupid Ms. Aiko" I gasp, my eyes widening, he smirks confidently, flipping open the folder he was holding before, a familiar face of a guy in my grade at the top of it.

"This was handed just this morning when we alerted the school about the missing person filed by her mother. They graciously gave us the names of people in her grade since it was most likely some of her friends might have known where she would have gone"

He got the file just this morning but it seems that he had already known me, it's as if he has already known every single person on that list and just as he claimed, he wasn't stupid. He stands up from his desk and I instinctively take a step back, I was breaking out in nervous sweats with the look that he was giving me, so cunningly confident with the power he knew he held.

"I believe you know far more than you lead on. What I don't know however is how. I know for a fact that no one can just dilly dally in Mr. Jacobs property, he's a rich and powerful man. Did you really think a man like that would be stupid enough not to have the police force in his hands?"

My thoughts are incoherent, I could only look at him in fear as he slowly steps closer towards me and I am forced to step back until I am back against his door, my hand wanders over to the handle and my heart breaks as if knowing it's defeat as I turn the knob and the door doesn't open. He chuckles, making my stomach feel uneasy.

"Mr. Jacobs handed me this office just because of a little favor I did a few years back. The walls are sound proof and the windows are bullet proof, the door can only be opened by me" He waves around a small remote which I hadn't even noticed, his comrades might not know anything about this since he has hidden this ability, opening the door so skillfully that no one could even see him press the button.

"Feel free to scream, fear always amazes me" he leans back on his desk, twirling the remote around his fingers as if taunting me to take it but it was evident how much of an upper hand he had, he was stronger than me, more skilled and the simple fact that he had a gun. And if Mr. Jacobs is as powerful as this man says he is, he'd had covered up my death as if nothing ever happened.

"I've invited someone over as well, I hope you don't mind" I let out a gasp as he points the gun at me, hitting my head back against the door as he takes slow steps towards me until the cold metal surface of his gun was pressing against my forehead.

I could feel my legs go weak, my hands holding my skirt tightly, as if preparing for a bullet to go through my head. I could feel the tears prickling in my eyes, threatening to go out, my body shakes in fear and I truly feared for my life, if I died like this, no one would ever know the truth, Katy's death would have no justice and mine would be soon forgotten, I was irrelevant.

A nobody, just another teenage kid who ran away and I couldn't bring myself at the thought of Elaine, Anne or Melany wondering forever where I had gone.

"Don't worry, what I'm about to do is way less painful than what they have in store for you" I couldn't even think about what he had just said as a sudden weight presses on my head, I gasp at the throbbing pain and my body falls on the ground, my vision is blurry, the only thing I can see is his retreating figure, I could feel the blood dripping across my face, slowly realizing what he just did. I felt weak, tired and dizzy all at the same time and even as I desperately tried to keep my eyes open, I couldn't.