179 One year

(Ryoto's pov)

Months went on, and I was learning a lot but also found myself enjoying my time there. I was helping Urahara with some of his inventions using my mathematical expertise, but I was also using this opportunity to learn about machines. This may not be my talent but knowing something is better than knowing nothing, in this case at least.

With Yoruichi, I was pranking others which was therapeutic. I didn't get close to Tessai, but he really was talented in Kido (who would have guessed), and our group, Rin, Yoruichi, Urahara, and I, were using Tessai's help with Kido whenever we had time.

Rin was also getting closer, or rather was getting drugged to become friends with Yoruichi. She also smiles more often, which makes me happy, but I suspect that it's because she finally accepted her fate which I don't know how to feel about it.

I have, however, a plan to make her realize that we are in another world without telling her.

In the future, we will have a mission in the living world, and when she sees that Japan here is different from the one we come from, some gears will hopefully start turning and give her hope for returning to our original world.

(E/D: Or... She can just have another mental breakdown. Great thinking genius. Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!)

(A/N It will happen either way ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Speaking of Rin, I couldn't show her Tsubame Gaeshi. I couldn't replicate what I did before. Was it because I wasn't in 'the zone' or something like that? I don't know, but I have a long way before I can kill a swallow but know this, I'm never going to give up trying, and now that I tasted success, I'm even more motivated!

My training with Yamamoto-sensei was going well as well. He is pretty strict with my training, and we did nothing more than Zanjutsu training. I repeat, only Zanjutsu training and lots of meditating. I mean, I improved a lot, but my young and impatient side wants to learn more and faster. Hopefully, soon we'll move on with different lessons.

By the way, remember when I was doing 1000 swings during my training with Rin? I'm starting to miss it. Yamamoto-sensei made me once swing until I literally couldn't anymore and then forced me to spar him. At this point, I want to land at least one hit. I still have my trump card, but I'm going to use it when I'm stronger for an extra surprise.

Today I am free to do whatever I want. I sneaked out of school just for today as it's the 12th of April, a day when Rin and I were transported to this world. I decided to be alone for most of the day. I went outside Seireitei and found a small and cozy forest on a hill. It wasn't that far off from the gates.

Exactly one year has passed, and many more will come. I will probably change a lot. You could say I already changed. I don't like killing, I'm not a psychopath, but I wouldn't hesitate to kill if needed. I certainly didn't hesitate while killing Oshima. I also know that it won't be the last time I will kill someone.

What I'm getting at is that I won't be getting back home the same. Will I be able to look Lala or Mikan in the eyes without any problem? Will returning to everyday life be easy? I don't know, and I won't know until it happens, but I didn't take this day off to lament over myself even. No, it's to remind me why I needed to change.

That day I promised myself to keep Rin safe because I was responsible for her ending up in this world. I didn't want to allow anyone to get hurt because of me again. I was ready to do whatever was necessary, and I did precisely that. I still regret not making a better choice back then, but I must live with the choices I made.

However, I'm also aware that I won't be able to protect Rin from everything, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try!

Rin will grow stronger, but she will also be forced to kill or, at the very least, experience war and the dark side of humanity. We will live through Quincy's extermination and, later on, Quincy's invasion.

All I can do is recommend her to the safest squad. 11th and 12th are out of options. At the moment 12th squad is safe, but later she would be safer with Aizen than with Mayuri. But if I'm going by this logic, then I can cross out 5th, 7th, 3rd, Kido's Corps, and 13th. The first four are because they were in the incident that created Visored. 5th and 3rd are extra bad because later on, Aizen and Gin became the Captians there. 13th, on the other hand, became a playground for Aizen's experiments but let's be honest, the whole Seireitei is his playground.

The 4th, 6th, 8th, 9th, and 10th Divisions are relatively safe. As safe as military institutions can be, at least.

*Sigh*

I went off topic again. I should stop overthinking, but it's hard to do that when one mistake can cause Rin to die.

What was I talking about? Right! I made a promise to myself that I would keep her safe whatever the cost, but it doesn't make my sins go away. That's why on this hill where seldom anyone comes, I made a grave. It wasn't for anyone specific, but if I was to say it would be for old me.

Cringe, I know. Karen would laugh at me for making it, but I don't want to become an emotionless killer. I'll become a monster for the sake of Rin, but I want to remember that every single person I killed was... a person. That's why I made two small strokes on the grave with Zangetsu.

Is this what Gid felt when he was conquering the Galaxy? Maybe something different. He doesn't have a similar personality to mine, so who knows, but I know that his hands aren't clean either. I would like to hear what he has to say, but it's not possible for now.

Afterward, I sat under the tree and just sat there. Not doing anything particular, just enjoying the weather and going through my memory lane.

I sat there until the sun started setting.

It looks like it's time to return. I feel a little better. I'll make it a yearly tradition.

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END

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