1 Prologue: Reincarnated #Once Again

Tears streamed down my cheeks as my knees scraped against the cold, rugged ground.

I couldn't describe my happiness at this moment.

It took 18 years for me to reach this step. For the past 18 years, it was nothing but continuous struggle. But, finally, I reached my goal.

Finally, I…

"I am dead!"

It was a pain off my shoulders!

Hooray! Who knew death could be this comforting!

"Cease these foolish acts, this instant, mortal! We have allowed you to choose–because your karmic value is null–not because we wish to witness such tomfoolery." A distinct voice entered my ears.

❖ Heaven

❖ Hell

❖ ???

A blue screen buzzed in front of me, as if telling me to get done with it.

Lifting my head, I scanned my surroundings. This was the place I found myself in after my death.

Dressed in white clothes, and standing in front of the Judges of Afterlife, behind me was a long line of deceased souls, while in front of me was something I could only describe as a portal.

'Is that my neighbor, Mrs. Abaca? She looks hot even in death.'

Noticing a few familiar faces, the last moments of my previous life replayed in my mind.

'An asteroid–that was supposed to pass by earth–suddenly changed its course and crashed into the moon, tumbling the moon towards earth and ultimately wiping out humanity.'

Surprisingly enough, the notion of death wasn't scary. Maybe I wasn't afraid because this was the 2nd time I died?

'How did I die the 1st time, again?'

As I tried to rekindle those hazy memories, I realized I could barely recall anything from my 1st – my original – life. It seems spending 18 years in a new world and a new identity had affected me a lot.

"Choose your destination."

The voice of the head Judge echoed again, hurrying me to make a choice.

"Heav—"

"Rejected"

My lips twitched at the swift rejection.

"Why? Isn't it an option here?"

The judge at the helm of the Jury gave me a long look. When I thought I wouldn't be receiving an answer, he pushed his glasses over his round, hairy snot and grunted.

"Overpopulation. Heaven has become too crowded. You should have come early if you wanted to go there."

…Did he just say I should've died earlier?

'Huh, is it okay for a judge to suggest suicide?'

Looking at the options, I thought hard and decided. "Then… Hell?"

The last option was not explained, but I knew about it. It had a low chance of reincarnation—and having learnt my lesson from 2nd life—I wasn't going to choose that option ever again!

Reincarnation sucks!

Repeat with me — Reincarnation sucks!

I'd rather suffer in Hell!

'How bad can it be?'

The head jury played with his whiskers and hit the table with his hammer. "Before you can sign up for Hell, you'll need to do a compulsory tour."

Thwap—!

My vision flew out of my body and I saw people. A lot of people.

They were undergoing their punishment on River Agony and Suffering while being whipped by red-skin humans with horns.

But there was something wrong here.

"Ah~ More~"

"Harder~"

"Yes~ Just like that~"

"Harder!~ Harder!~"

The sinners were crying with blissful expressions. Rather, the horned beings were the ones suffering mental damage thanks to their eccentric personalities.

Thawp—!

"Do you want to go there?" My vision flew back into my body and the head Judge asked again, this time rubbing his soft furry cheeks. "Centuries of punishment messes with the heads of people going there. You will also become like that in a few decades."

My hair stood on ends.

Hell no!

"Can I die again?"

"Why don't you choose the third option? You might reincarnate and, if you are lucky, you will get one blessing." Amused, the Judge with the appearance similar to a goat spoke.

While the rat-like Judge, the head of the Jury, read something on air and nodded to himself, "An unfortunate accident, indeed. But fret not, the likelihood of the same possibility is near impossible."

'But not zero.' I muttered in my mind.

The other 41 Judges, sensing something amiss, conjured my life report.

"No wonder he is refusing…"

"He was reincarnated as a retard heh…"

"With his memories of an adult and the brain of a child, it must have been hard to live…"

"Oho? He even ate shit, thinking it was desert? I can see why he doesn't want to…"

Some looked at me with pity, some mocked while most were amused, but ultimately, they lost interest in a few seconds.

"It doesn't matter. Mortal, you need to make a choice…"

BOOOM—!

"There you are, you bastard! What were you saying about my novel!"

A bewitching voice that could make anyone swoon interrupted the judge, followed by one of the walls of the hall being blown to smithereens.

Realizing that the voice I heard before I died was the same, I sneaked away while I could. The voice belonged to the 'God' who brought the moon down as Divine Punishment.

"Where are you running?"

Sadly, my body was held in an airtight prison as the 'God', aka author of the novel I cussed on the daily basis, caught me.

"Cough cough, My Lady, w…what are you doing here?"

The head Judge was scrambling to find his glasses, but the 'God' dismissed him casually. "I'm taking him."

"But that person has to go through the cycle of nirvana. Even if it's you, we can't allow that, my lady."

'Tell her! Go! If you succeed, I'll give you an extra large cheese slice!'

"That goes agains—" He turned to me with narrowed eyes. "As you wish, my lady. I'll handle the matters on our side."

T-this rat betrayed me!

'Forget cheese, I'll use a rat trap next time!'

—————

Tak– tak–

Staring down at me, the 'God' tapped the armrest occasionally.

She was the very embodiment of celestial grace and beauty. Her long, flowing hair was the color of soft rose, shimmering in the light of the heavens. It cascaded down her back and over her shoulders in loose, ethereal waves, framing her delicate features with an otherworldly glow.

Her gown was as white as the clouds that floated above, billowing around her in a gentle breeze that seemed to be of her own making. It flowed like a river of silk, trailing behind her in a long, majestic train. Her wings were the color of freshly fallen snow, with feathers that seemed to shimmer in the light, catching every hue of the spectrum in their iridescence.

'See what I did there?'

That's the useless description talent I learned from thousands of novels! Fear my greatness, mortals!

"Me-meloine, what are you going to do with him?" Behind the Goddess was a white-haired boy roughly around my age, my age in my 2nd life that is.

With an air of arrogance around her, Meloine spoke with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"Dear Reader 'SmarterThanEinstein', you commented daily on my web-novel, didn't you? I must say all of your comments were very 'encouraging'."

"The comments weren't that bad."

Weren't the readers free to express their opinions?

They were!

A passion of indignation was set ablaze in my heart… but then I recalled how I died and doused those flames.

Mind you, I wasn't afraid! This was only a temporary retreat!

Yes, it was a tactical retreat!

Melione read a few of my comments.

"Ew, this protagonist… there should be a limit to emo."

"Author, are you dumb? He can level up and has regressed once, but he can't beat a low-level boss? Ptui! Useless Protagonist and useless author."

"No way, no… way… does he think he can kill a 'Dev' with the power of friendship? Dude, use your System!"

"Author is an idiot. His imagination is smaller than a newborn's little brother."

"Author is maidenless and fatherless. That must be wh–"

"S-stop it, sis." The boy behind her turned beet red.

See, the comments weren't that bad!

"Isn't it enough?" I gathered my courage. "You killed everyone. That should be more than enough."

Unlike what the news declared, the collision of the asteroid and moon wasn't an accident.

How did I know this?

Before the asteroid changed its course, I received a message that said:

[For your crimes of infuriating this Goddess, your entire race shall receive Divine Punishment and perish!

-The Author of Re:Apocalypse]

The text messages weren't supposed to have voice content but, at that moment, I took it as a harmless prank and laughed it off.

"Of course not"

The goddess flung a piece of paper at me with a smirk.

"Choose your method of reincarnation."

❖ Gacha

❖ Wish

Gacha meant reincarnating with a random high-tier 'blessing'.

By taking the second option, one can receive anything they wish for. Yes, A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G.

Infinite mana, a system, necromancer blessing, waifus, supreme talent, you can ask for anything!

The catch was, whatever you ask for will be degraded by at least a hundred folds to make it 'fair'.

Of course, I was given the same choices in the past.

'Goddarnit! I'm not doing this again!'

"You'll be reincarnated inside my novel." She was smiling mockingly, but excited nonetheless. "Dear reader, if it is you, you should be able to do better than my 'stupid' and 'edgy' protagonist."

Color drained rapidly from my face at the thought of reincarnating into that novel.

"You d-don't mean I will be reincarnated into 'Re:SSS Rank Gamer in Apocalypse', do you?"

Divine punishment!

Dare I say, to live in that hellish novel was worse than a divine punishment!

For what? I cursed the Author?

How was I supposed to know the author was a God!?

Rather, she should treat me lavishly! I was the only one who read that dumb novel!

'I must convince her otherwise before she reincarnates me!'

"About the curses. They aren't my fault." I couldn't help but grit my teeth as I recalled my life. "This was my 2nd life, but I was born with the thinking capacity of a child, unable to tell right from wrong. It's the fault of the angel who reincarnated me!"

Because the angel messed up, I lived my life as a dimwit.

What proof did I have?

'I read that damned novel! Why would a sane person do that?'

"What blasphemy! Blaming angels of—"

"Continue" Meloine cut off the white haired boy and threatened me. "If what you are saying is true, we will compensate you reasonably. A fault with angels is a serious issue. But if you are lying…"

Cccrack–

The armrest turned into dust at her mere touch.

I spoke with a firm tone, "The third option from the cycle of nirvana has a small chance of reincarnation. But reincarnation is guaranteed if you have an angel's help."

Melione nodded at my words while barely suppressing her increasing excitement and beckoned me to continue.

She seemed greatly excited by the fact she was going to reincarnate someone inside her novel.

"The angel told me that I was going to be reincarnated as a hero to defeat the Demon Lord and save the world. Of course, I refused. However, after seeing the blessing I received, I reluctantly agreed."

Actually, it would be lie to say that I wasn't excited back then. I had an overpowered blessing and I got a second attempt at life. Only a fool would let go of such a chance. 

"But I was reincarnated into a normal modern world! There was no Demon Lord, superpowers, or any fantasy-like element!"

In the beginning, I got even more excited after knowing that it was a normal world. I was going to be the only superhuman in that world. With my blessing, even world domination wasn't out of my reach. 

Though, forget my ambition of ruling the world, my blessing never activated! Every time I tried to use it, it said 'Lack of Mana' and didn't work!

I was tricked, fooled, and completely bamboozled!

Did the angel who reincarnated me enjoyed playing with my innocent fragile heart? I bet she did.

Just thinking about it was enough to make my blood boil. 

'I swear if I ever get to meet that beetch again, I'll make her pay dearly for it!'

Talk about being unfair! I had the strongest ability, but it was a world without mana!

A Normal World!

And as an icing on top, they turned me into a moron!

What part of reincarnation was lucky!?

"Hmm? Did I say something wrong?"

Raising my head, I noticed Meloine and the boy staring at me with strange expressions.

"Was that angel…" Meloine turned to the boy with furrowed brows. "..me?"

The boy looked away and nodded. "He was the one you reincarnated half-heartedly after father kicked you out of the house."

My mind blanked.

'Beetch'

And my mouth moved on its own.

"I will choose the 2nd method and my wish is…"

Raising my arm, I pointed at Melione.

"Reincarnate with me."

Somehow, I was now looking forward to reincarnating.