Prologue

Somewhere in the Dark Core Zone stood a castle where the previous Goddess of the Heavenly Paradise had turned to dust.

The place was in ruins and had clearly been deserted for a long time. It was a perfect spot to hold a private conversation.

"Well, then. Looks like everyone's here." An elegant voice echoed in the room.

It belonged to a Warblade clad in Aruka's military uniform, her pink hair tied up in pigtails—Nelia Cunningham. She looked at the other people sitting at the round table, a content smile on her face.

"We're here to do what I told you in the letters. We must be prepared for the upcoming eighteenth of February."

"Nelia, may I ask something?"

A bell chimed.

Across from Nelia sat a girl in Eastern Clothing—Karla Amatsu, the Goddess of the Heavenly Paradise and (self-proclaimed) strongest person in the universe.

"What is it? I'm not serving you green tea."

"I also love black tea, so don't worry. That's not the issue. But what's with this meeting? I had to interrupt my very important duties to come here because you said it was urgent."

"You've still got bedhead. You sure you were working?"

"Why wouldn't I? I am the busiest person in the Heavenly Paradise."

"She was taking a nap. Slacking off basically," Karla's ninja chimed in.

"Koharu?! Don't tell her the truth! As Goddess, I won't let you humiliate our nation in front of foreign powers!"

"At least you realize you're embarrassing."

Nelia heaved a sigh.

"You're hopeless, girl. I can tell you didn't even read the letter if you're asking those questions now. Villhaze, please explain to this creampuff head what day February eighteen is."

"I don't like you giving me orders, but okay." The blue-haired in maid attire stood up.

Special Lieutenant of the Mulnite Imperial Army's Seventh Unit, Villhaze. Her expression was as cool as ever, but a hint of passion shined in her eyes as she explained the significance of the date to Karla.

"February eighteenth is a day of fortune for humanity as a whole. Good omens shall bless the whole world over the moment it arrives. The birds will sing, the flowers will bloom, and the fish in the ocean will dance and jump, giving fishermen a haul like they've never seen before. The clouds in the sky will part, and warm sunlight will shine down upo—"

"Oh, for crying out loud! To make a long story short, February eighteenth is Komari's birthday!"

"Seriously?!" Karla yelled in shock.

"Seriously!" Nelia crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "We're here to talk about what to do for Komari's birthday. According to Villhaze, she hasn't had a birthday party in a while, so we should make it a big celebration."

"That's correct. Her birthday was ignored before I was assigned as her maid. Perhaps understandably so, considering her circumstances."

"I see. So you want us all to get together and put on a big event." Karla sipped her black tea, tenderly narrowing her eyes. "That's a great idea. It should also be worthwhile for strengthening our international bonds."

Karla had replied calmly, but inside, she was overcome with excitement. Komari was the only person who understood her, and she owed the girl her life. She immediately decided to make the best sweets she could for her friend.

"Everyone should think up a present to give her. But where should we throw the party…?" Nelia asked.

"We will be holding it at the Mulnite Empire," Villhaze asserted plainly. "It couldn't be anywhere else. Lady Komari is a Mulnite vampire."

"You don't get it, Villhaze. She barely goes out, so we should bring her to Aruka. I could throw a birthday bash there that would make her shed tears of joy."

"I hear that Aruka's Metropolis is a dangerous place. Lady Komari would be too scared to go somewhere like that."

"Are you hearing yourself, vampire? The number of murders in the Metropolis is basically null compared to the Imperial Capital. It's only a hundred a day."

"You realize 'null' means 'zero'?"

"Zero, a hundred, same difference! First of all, why would anyone think to attack Komari? She's the hero who saved the world! I'll station some guards at the venue, too, so it'll be fine."

"I can't trust you. Don't you agree, Lady Memoir?"

"Huh?" muttered the silver vampire sitting beside Villhaze—Sakuna Memoir, one of the Seven Crimson Lords. "Yeah, I agree with Ms. Villhaze. I think Mulnite would be the best."

"Let's hold a vote, then! Who thinks Komari's party should be in Mulnite?!"

A pair of hands rose. Villhaze's and Sakuna's.

"Who thinks it should be in Aruka?!"

Nelia shot her hand to the heavens. By herself. Her maid was dozing off beside her.

"Gertrude! Wake up, for pity's sake!"

"Fweh?! Whatever it was, I'm so sorry I did it, Lady Nelia!"

Gertrude raised her hand after getting slapped on the head. Now it was two against two. Nelia stared at the two observers.

"Karla, whose side are you on?"

"No one's. I would rather avoid conflict, so I propose we split the difference and hold the celebration in the Heavenly Paradise. We have more than enough space in the Osui Palace for everyone."

Karla wasn't as insistent as Nelia or Villhaze, of course. She only proposed the Heavenly Paradise after coming to the objective conclusion that it was better to propose a middle ground than having the other two fight each other.

But her suggestion only added fuel to the fire.

"You think I don't have enough space?!" Nelia shouted. "Mulnite has the most space, actually," Villhaze argued. "Isn't the Mulnite Palace still being rebuilt after what happened recently?!" Nelia countered. "Lady Karla agrees." "I think it's better when compared to Aruka's bad public safety." "Lady Karla agrees." "I can take down anyone who dares lay a finger on her!" "Lady Karla says Aruka and Mulnite both suck, so let's do it in the Heavenly Paradise." "Hey, I did not say that!"

The conversation went nowhere. It was proof of how much they all cared for Terakomari Gandesblood. But it was also a waste of time. Nelia grew impatient and stood up, sending her chair to the floor.

"Fine, then! Let's decide this like soldiers—with war!"

"Wait a second, Ms. Nelia! I will not participate in such things! I'm no longer an Imperial Saber! I'm Goddess!" "…said Karla calmly, but inside, she was overcome with excitement"

"Stop pretending to be the narration, Koharu!"

"Very well, then. Let's go home and prepare for the battle right away. Come to think of it, we've never properly ducked it out. I'm sure Lady Komari will be elated," said Villhaze.

She would never! Karla thought.

Unfortunately, no one with common sense was present. Thinking to ensure her own safety at the very least, Karla raised her hip to flee, but then…

"I-if I may! I have an idea!"

The girl who had stayed quiet until that point spoke up.

Everyone turned to look at her.

She rose to her feet, shivering with nerves. The amber-eyed vampire was clad in the uniform of the Mulnite Imperial Army, and her brown hair was tied up in a ponytail.

She did a salute with a trembling hand and spoke falteringly:

"War is the thing Commander Gandesblood hates the most! So… I, um… think we should take the literal middle…and hold the party in the Dark Core Zone, if I may be so bold to suggest!"

Nelia and Karla looked at each other.

Everyone had the same look on their face: Who was this again?

Villhaze, however, crossed her arms and nodded.

"I see. There would be no reason to fight in that case. I think we should take her up on the suggestion. What do you think, Lady Cunningham?"

"Huh? I guess it makes sense. It's the safest bet."

"That's it, then. Thank you for your help, Esther."

"Thank you!" Esther bowed, her face reddened.

From the impeccable shape of her uniform, it was clear that she was a new recruit.

Nelia grabbed a biscuit and observed the unfamiliar vampire.

"By the way, who is she? Your new subordinate, Villhaze?"

"Apologies in the delay of introducing myself! My name is…"

The vampire fumblingly introduced herself.

All the while the plan progressed in secret.

★

I stared at the paper in despair.

You know how fish can swim without having to learn? How birds soar the skies with ease once they grow up? In similar fashion, I was born with a rare scholarly intellect and thus held the natural capacity to write stories of the highest literary merit… Or so I thought.

"I can't write…"

The pen stayed in my hand. Frozen.

Try as I might to move it, only cat and panda doodles came out.

My tummy hurt at the mere thought of my writing going out into the world.

I was working on the revamped version of Twilight Triangle. The publisher had given me some advice, and I was revise some of the plot and text.

Their suggestion? "Make it more heart pounding."

"Heart pounding"? What the hell does that mean? Okay, let's think about the last time my heart pounded. During war the other day, Mellaconcey's magic explosions hit Bellius's squadrons by accident, and then things devolved into a free-for-all. Dog vs rapper vs chimpanzee. My heart was pounding so fast I thought it would give out. But I don't think the publisher meant it like that. I realized my heart had never pounded in the ordinary sense.

"Dammit... My lack of experience has reared its ugly head…"

"What sort of experience are you lacking?"

"Romantic experience, what else? I can't write things out of my butt, or the readers'll think there's something wrong."

"Don't you worry. Your romantic partner is right here—me."

"Huh? WHOAAA?!"

I got put in a headlock out of nowhere and screamed for dear life.

The sicko maid had hugged my neck from behind.

"So, with your permission, I'll suck your blood now. That will make your heart pounding."

"Stop it! What if I get all anemic?!"

"Too bad." She shrugged. "I thought we'd gotten closer after we sucked each other's blood during the crisis at the end of the year. But I see you're as cold as ever, Lady Komari."

"Th-there were extenuating circumstances back then."

"But that doesn't change the fact that we defeated our enemies with the power of love, does it?"

I thought back to the turmoil of December of last year. Vill and I had activated Core Implosion and fought the terrorists attempting to take over the Mulnite Empire.

Honestly, I couldn't believe it, but neither could I get away with claiming it was a meteorite this time. Why? Because I actually remembered shooting a beat at Tryphon.

In any case, yes, it happened only because Vill was there with me.

But it was not the power of love.

"…I'll concede the fact we fought together. But I'm not drinking your blood ever again."

"Is that so. Objectively speaking, though, I think this is grounds for us having a romantic relationship, so I've been telling everyone one who will listen that we're going out."

"Why would you do that?!"

"Our union has made it into the papers, too. Please take a look."

I snatched the newspaper out of Vill's hands at the speed of sound.

It read as follows:

GIRLS IN PASSIONATE LOVE?! LIEUTENANT VILLHAZE SPEAKS:

"LADY KOMARI AND I ARE GIRLFRIENDS NOW."

Mulnite Imperial Army Lieutenant Villhaze stated during a press conference held in the Imperial Capital on the thirtieth that she's starting going steady with Crimson Lord Terakomari Gandesblood. "We've sucked each other's blood, just so you know," Lieutenant Villhaze commented with joy. Commander Gandesblood's interpersonal relationships have been getting more and more complex as of late, and experts have heatedly debated about who the Commander might end up with. The Lieutenant's confession, which comes like a bolt out of the blue, has shocked them all. "Peak"; "Finally, proof that God exists"; "The first pairing's always the best," they state, as they shiver with joy. On the other hand, Crimson Lord Sakuna Memoir reacted quite differently to the announcement, remarking, "What? There's no way she's telling the truth," as she sharpened a knife with a smile on her face. We expect and hope things will get dirty.

"... What the hell?"

"It's the news. Facts on paper."

"It's all made up!"

I slammed the rug onto the floor.

There was so much wrong with this that my brain couldn't keep up. Why was Vill holding a press conference? Why was she saying that without telling me? Why was Sakuna sharpening a knife?

"Are things clear now, Lady Komari? The world recognizes our relationship."

"This is messed up in so many levels! I'm just gonna use this paper to clean the windows! I'm fed up with all the fake news, stupid…"

"Fake news, indeed. Fake fake news."

"Excuse me?" I gave Vill a blank stare.

"The truth is, I was just wondering how you would react if a story like that made its way to the press. You looked surprisingly happy about it, so how about I get them to actually publish it this time around?"

"You gotta get your eyes checked! And stop wasting your time with these games…"

Exhaustion hit me like a tsunami.

I would never understand the things that made through my maid's head. But getting pranked was better than Vill actually having Six Nations News publish lies, at least. Perhaps there was a shred of common sense in her.

"The bit about Lady Memoir sharpening her knife was true, though."

"Wha—? Don't scare me."

"I told her jokingly that you and I were going out, and for a moment, the terrorist inside took hold of her."

"…"

Sakuna had also been mystifying me lately. She was supposed to be an innocent pretty girl…

"Anyways, as I was saying," Vill said, moving away from the uneasy topic. "You have a partner right here. Me. Just take your flirting with me as inspiration for your novel. Problem solved."

"I have no recollection of ever flirting with you. But that's not the case. I mean, besides coming up with the plot and everything, I just can't write."

"You're working too hard. I think a little rest outside might help you."

That made sense. Maybe being cooped up in my room all the time was clouding my thoughts. Just as I was accepting her assessment of this, a creepy smile came to her face, and she said:

"By the way, Lady Komari. I have something to tell you."

"... Hold on. I'm getting a bad feeling about this. It's Sunday, I'll have you know."

"No, it's good news. The truth is…"

"No, don't tell me! It's the chimpanzee again, isn't it?!"

"It's not the chimpanzee. Take a look at this."

She gave me a piece of paper.

It was a sort of…invitation?

Two nights and three days at the Frezier Hot Springs.

"I won this at the lottery when I went for tonight's groceries."

I froze in the face of the unexpected information.

And here I'd thought that Vill would only ever bring me fake news and death threats.

"What do you think? How about we take some days off around the middle of February and go there together?"

"Days off?! What does that mean?!"

"Vacation. Holiday."

The world had gone crazy.

Something was fishy. Had this maid ever brought me genuine good news? Had she really won the lottery? Wasn't that too convenient?

"...Vill. They don't call them hot springs because they're, like, literal flame baths or something, right?"

"Do I look that mean to you?"

"The other day you told me we were going to the zoo, and you took me to battle with the giraffes."

"I'm being honest this time. It's just a simple, relaxing trip. Frezier Hot Springs is a popular tourist spot. The baths are highly regarded for their relaxing properties; they say all your weariness evaporates the moment you get in the water."

"…"

"And the place has lots of tasty food, too. They've got hot springs eggs, somen noodles, daifuku sweets, tempura, manju… I even heard they have hot-spring omelette rice."

Now I was overjoyed.

Not in my wildest dreams did I think I would be able to take some days off and go to the hot springs.

A warm bath is perfect for relaxing the body and mind. Yes, let's unwind and get those creative juices flowing. Yes, let's recharge batteries with a scrumptious feast.

"...I see. Perhaps the trip might be worth taking into consideration to improve my writing efficiency."

"So we'll go together."

"Yeah. You won it so, I'd feel bad if you didn't get to go. If you insist, then sure, why not?"

"Thank you. I'll get the reservations for mid-February, then."

"Okay."

Ooh, now I'm getting excited.

How long has it been since I last went on a trip? I mean, I go to the Dark Core Zone pretty frequently, but it's always a hellish journey where I pray to the gods to let me come back home alive. It's been a while since I last went on a peaceful outing. Actually, isn't it the first time?

Hey, I should put together a schedule. We gotta pick out the places we wanna visit. Oh, and I'll take all my favorite snacks… I don't think a bag of cookies will last for three days and two nights.

In the highest spirits, I looked down at the invitation Vill gave me.

On it was a picture of the hot springs town.

"Hmm…?"

I was hit by a feeling of dèjá vu.

My memories from before I became a shut-in were riddled with holes like insect bites, but in this case, a hazy vision of the past came to mind. I feel like…I've gone here with my family before.

"Lady Komari? Is something the matter?"

Vill's voice brought me back to reality. I decided it was best not to think about it, since I couldn't remember the details.

More importantly, I had to get our schedule down. First things first: I am eating that omelette rice.

"Nothing. I'm looking forward to it."

"Good to know. But before going to the hot springs, you'll have to do some work."

"I know......... Wait, what?"

"Yes. I also got this."

She handed me another piece of paper.

A letter. It said:

I'M COMING FOR YOU.

"It seems the chimpanzee is coming to visit."

"I knew you had a letter from that damn primate!!"

"He's woken up from hibernation. Surely it won't take more than a flick of your pinky finger to kill a drowsy monkey."

"Actually, I was just thinking about hibernating myself, so if you could please take care of the thi— Don't pull meee!!"

Vill dragged me out to the battlefield.

There was no time to think about the hot springs. I was too worried about surviving one more day.