9 Badassery

(A/N: Additional chapters are on patreon.com/TheGreatestHunter. Check it out.)

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"What are you two doing?" Elena asked, her eyes narrowing a little in suspicion at what she was seeing.

While Caroline nearly jumped out of her shoes and probably would have jostled their food all around in their containers if he wasn't holding the bag, Super Jeremy, to his credit did not react much.

He simply looked back over his shoulders, and said, "greeting our friend. What does it look like?"

Elena's furrowed brow showed that she wasn't quite believing it, but despite that she had never known the two to be close, so she quickly moved on to the point of her arrival.

"Well, are you bringing in the food. Thanks for bringing it, Care" She told from him to her still blushing friend, as Jeremy just gave a nod and made his way inside. The mood was ruined and he wasn't necessarily in a rush to progress matters with Caroline too fast. He knew he had plenty of time to get to know that one, before shit hit the fan, and truthfully she was the one that required the least amount of work out of the women in his life.

Jenna was a bit scatter-brained, irresponsible, and unorganized.

Bonnie was in denial of her ancestry, talent, and would take time to accept who she was and learn to wield her power.

Vicki was directionless, purposeless, lacking in self-worth and self-esteem, and would need to be given something to truly rely on outside of drugs.

Elena was bossy, opinionated, judgmental, condescending, and incredibly stubborn.

All of the women in his life would require some work to be their best selves.

Caroline however, she was always striving to be her best self. And while she failed considerably, she was truly the only one who would not be against improving herself in a significant way.

By the beginning of the new school year, he wanted to be surrounded by capable people and had no interest in being a lion amongst lambs.

Since as the saying goes, a competent is always better than an incompetent ally.

As they made their way inside. Him with the food in hand. Caroline immediately following behind. And Elena standing there, more than likely a little bewildered. Jeremy called out, "Aunt Jenna, come and eat something that's actually edible."

And with that Jenna was hoping off the couch, practically leaping over it and launching herself at Super Jeremy in a bid to put them paws on em.

He was not worried.

And that's how it was.

Him walking to the kitchen. Jenna pounding her fists into his arm and back. Caroline on their heels. And Elena bringing up the rear.

After an arduous journey, Jeremy finally made it to the counter and placed the bag down.

Then, he turned around, raised one hand, placed it on top of Jenna's head, gave her a patented Gilbert kind smile with squinted eyes, and then squeezed her head like he was trying to juice a fruit with his bare hand.

"Ah ah ah, okay okay," she protested as she tried to pry his hand away by pushing at his wrist.

He let her succeed.

And basked in the satisfaction of acquiring his swift revenge, because while her punches definitely carried absolutely no weight in his opinion, what she didn't know was that each and every little fist that struck his body felt a bit like being hit by a small voltage of electricity from each point of contact.

She earned the Palm Of Love.

He gave her a slightly smug smirk as he watched her rub her head and bitch about him being an ass. Only to shut that nonsense up when he started flexing his fingers in front of her face.

He now knew what to do to discipline his slightly erratic aunty when she got a little too busy.

Now, he just needed to figure out what to do with his sister when she got a little too bossy, condescending, and treated him like a child.

The Palm Of Love definitely would not work on someone like her.

"You joining us for dinner Caroline? We can split my burger. I'm not that hungry." That was a lie. But there was plenty to eat in the house and he was used to going a very long time with very little sustenance.

It's not like a burger would give his body any real strength.

Only time would see him all healed up...maybe. After all, this was the first time something like his situation had happened to him, but based on what he knew about the human body, he definitely was suffering from some nerve damage, at the very least.

If he didn't know better, he would think he had been struck by lightening instead of overdosing...but that was impossible, right.

Though, there was the fact that he did look a little older than he did when he was old Jeremy.

All signs pointed to something, unique, happening to his body.

The question was, what?

"No, I just ate, but thanks." She said, as she put some loose hair behind her clear.

Which was something that he nor his sister missed, if her slight glare in the blonds direction was any indication.

He knew they would definitely be having a talk sooner or later.

"Okay, cool," he responded quickly and casually, like everyone in the room wasn't wondering what she wanted. "Well then, get some plates Elena. Jenna, the drinks." He told the room, cutting off whatever his sister was about to say to blondie. No doubt something along the lines of "so why are you here".

He knew while she normally wouldn't say something so, bitchy to her blondie, she wasn't exactly her usual charismatic self, charming, and frankly seductive self at the moment.

Because while she wasn't seductive on purpose, their was something inherently seductive about the way she attracted people to her.

He had seen how that quality had made Caroline insecure on many an occasion, since it seemed to be something the girl did without even trying, which was the truth.

Though, he found it fascinating from his new perspective, he looked forward to seeing how natural it truly was on Katherine, and if she was as "seductive" as she seemed on the show.

He hoped so.....and also began to wonder just how much crazy he wanted in his life. At the very least, he knew he would never be bored in such a fun world.

He was glad to see the girls get moving, as Caroline took her seat at the kitchen counter, while he unpacked the food. Though, she quickly got up when he plated their burgers and fries and moved the feast to the table in front of the tv, as they all sat on the couch.

Caroline positioned herself on his side on the couch, as Jenna took the single seat and Elena took his other side, but not before giving a side-eye to her friend.

He knew she was definitely wondering what was going on between him and her friend, and he was wondering just how starved Caroline was for attention. Though, he knew it also had something to do with his appearance, because while he still lacked some muscle to his physique, his face definitely rivaled both Matt's and Tyler's, both in attractiveness and age.

At this point, only Elena would still be treating him like a kid. But he knew that wouldn't last for too much longer.

He would earn his respect.

He picked up the remote, only to have to quickly evade a swift movement he caught out of the corner of his eye, as Elena tried to gain dominance over the device, foolish girl.

The air stilled in the room, as the two looked at each other with chillingly fierce gazes. Daring the other to make a move.

"I believe, I had it first, no?" He told her, keeping his voice level and tone even. Letting her know that this was not a negotiation, despite the question.

"I believe Jeremy, that I was sitting out her first, no?" She leveled right back. Her unique brand of seductiveness activating as the very universe attempted to bend Super Jeremy to her will and force him to hand over the control.

'We would not have it, no!' He thought, his mental voice sounding remarkably like that of M'baku, but with a level look at the hand of Elena's that just twitched, he was back to being 100% focused on the confrontation that he had inadvertently found himself a part of. It would seem only one of them would walk away the victor.

However, he was nothing if not reasonable.

"I tell you what, Elena," His voice still calm, even after he accentuated her name. "How about we compromise, yes. I will give you one of my fries, and you use it to keep your mouth shut, while I decide what we watch." He stated, not sounding like a suggestion at all. And, when Elena narrowed her eyes even further and he saw her mouth open to voice out what he knew would be some nonsense, his hand moved faster than she could track by utilizing as little wasted motion as possible, wielding his weapon like a blade as he struck forward.

Before she even knew what happened, she found a fry resting on the top of her tongue and her mouth closing on it and moving up and down as she subconsciously chewed. Only for her eyes to widen a second later, as her brain caught up with what the fuck just happened.

She instantly, angrily, chewed two more times, swallowed the fry, opened her mouth to no doubt yell, only to find two fries waiting on the top of her tongue.

Yea, he's just that good.

For a brief second he felt a bit smug as he thought that this was what he worked so hard to gain an unprecedented level of precision in his movements, only to instantly deflate, as he knew just how imprecise his current movement truly was compared to the past.

The amount of work in front of him felt daunting to his mind for less than a second, and then, he felt that weight fade away and began looking forward to the challenge that he knew he would topple...eventually.

This time, Elena was able to notice the moment the fries appeared in her mouth, so she quickly chomped in an attempt to bite his fingers off, only to meet air, and the sight of him looking like he hadn't even moved.

With a face that looked to be getting more and more frustrated, she swallowed the barely chewed fries, leaned back far away from him to the edge of the couch, and opened her mouth to no doubt give him a stern reprimand....like he wasn't fucking surgical with a projectile.

In a move that could only be called, eat a dick Hawkeye, he flicked his wrist away from his plate, and far into the future, Elena would claim that she saw the fry coming at her in slow motion as it landed squarely in her mouth as it closed down around it.

This one move had multiple reactions around the room.

Jenna practically leaped from her seat as she cheered like it was the Olympics.

Caroline had her mouth with open, her eyes wider open, and seemed stuck somewhere between turned on and teary for her friend who seemed to be on the verge of giving up.

He could see the conflicting emotions and could tell that she was kind of getting off on watching Elena get embarrassed...or put in her place? He couldn't be sure, but he knew he like the gaped look on her face and almost told her so.

But first, he looked back at Elena who was just swallowing the last fry to fly her way while glaring at him, as he picked up a fry from his plate, along with the remote control, and took a bite as he changed the channel without even looking at the screen. He felt just like Brian Earl Spilner in his scene in 2 Fast 2 Furious. Totally badass.

And if the grunt, followed by angry movements as Elena straightened herself back up and picked up her plate from the table in front of the couch and placed it on her lap...all very angrily just to prove a point...that she was angry, was any indication, she definitely gave up in the face of his badassery (still a word).

It was only now that he started to feel not only a little shame, but also a little embarrassment as he realized that there was absolutely nothing, and he does mean nothing on the tv that he wanted to watch, since, when he wasn't out in the world, getting it in, he was pretty big into tv and had found the time to watch anything and everything that interested him...as far as he remembered.

So, he sat there, flicking through the channels, and ignoring the slight awkwardness that was developing the longer it took him to settle on a channel, as well as the smug look that he could see Elena wearing from the corner of his eye.

As soon as he saw her about to say what he knew to be some nonsense, he instantly swerved the remote over to his left and placed it in Caroline's hand. "You pick something to watch." He told her in a no nonsense manner, that left no room for argument.

He not only refused to settle just to prove a point, but he was also petty.

He knew this about himself and accepted it fully, as indicated by the self-satisfied smirk that fit his face way better than any other nameless nobodies faces and cast a glance in Elena's direction as he held up a fry that quickly shut her mouth.

He turned back to see Jenna looking on in amusement, with her eyes slightly watering.

He felt a little saddened at that look in her eyes, as he gave her a kind smile in return.

Then, he turned to see Elena getting a little emotional after seeing their exchange, so in order to head that off, he quickly leaned over and placed a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek, which earned him her ire once again, as well as a laugh from Jenna and Caroline. "Cheer up, buttercup. They're gone from the world, but not gone from our hearts. We'll carry them with us, and one day, far in the future, we'll look back on our time with them and laugh. Laugh as we think about all the dumb shit that we pulled, got yelled at, punished, forgiven, and loved. We'll look back and remember not the sadness, my dear, but the love they carried for us...and we will always carry for them." By the time he finished, his cheery voice had become solemn, resolute, confident, and at some point, his forehead had been placed on hers, as he looked into her wet eyes with his dry eyes that he believed projected his unwavering confidence and truth that he wanted her to see.

Then, he gave her a chaste kiss on her forehead and a one armed hug, since his other still held his plate. Then, he got up, placed another kiss to Jenna forehead after placing his forehead against hers. And then, he sat back down, where he saw Caroline, also bawling her eyes out. So, with a small laugh through closed lips, he leaned over to her, placed his hand on her cheek and gave her a small kiss on her lips. "Cheer up, buttercup. Your friend will be okay. Why? Because I'm here."

(Hahahahahaha, I just wanted to say it, so I did!)

With his voice barely above a whisper, though he knew the whole room could hear him, he sat with his back against the couch, got comfortable, and flicked a fry into his mouth.

While his body may still be weak, he knew it was strong enough for a few beauties to lean on, for as long as they needed.

Though, he could do without the yelling.

"Did you just kiss Caroline/Did you just kiss me?!"