Chapter 5: Belong

It has been a week now since Pops got discharged from the hospital. One week already passed since the time my brother hit my head because of what I did back then.

I planned to tricked him but failed. He knows when I would lie to him. I've got no choice but tell him what really happened, I just didn't include the part that I'm with Kale that time. If ever I mentioned that I'm with a guy that time, I'm pretty sure he won't just hit my head. He would literally freak out if he found out. He will probably kill me that time.

"Hi Pops," I greeted Pops. He's sitting at our house's veranda. There's a cup of tea on the table, and he is holding a newspaper.

Pops smiled at me, his eyes were kind of disappearing.

Ever since he got discharged, Mama made him stay with us here in our house. That news made me jump because of so much joy.

Nonetheless, I think he gets bored here. Especially that my parents are not around and so as my siblings. And me, I've got classes to attend, I go home every 5:30 in the afternoon. That's why as much as possible, I'll go straight home.

I always looked forward on going home. It makes me happy that whenever I go home now, I would see him, waiting for me to come home.

We had a little chit-chat about school stuffs and things at home, then we had snacks that Nana cooked for us. After that, I decided to go to my room.

"Hay," I let out a sighed as I lay on my bed.

I look at the light gray ceiling.

It's empty, just plain gray... And I like it better that way.

I like things simple. It does not attract too much attention because it is simple. I want to live that way, not getting too much attention. 'Cause when you got people's attention, there's always a possibility that they would judge and criticize you. Worse, they will expect something from you.

I don't like it. The idea of people expecting too much from me. Because I know, deep within me, that I'll only end up disappointing them.

So, I'll try my best to not get notice. I'll do my best to live a simple life so it won't get complicated.

I fell asleep in the middle of too much thinking about stuffs and still staring at the empty ceiling.

"Hey, sis. How are you?" is that my sister? Yes, it is her!

"Me, I'm f-fine here. To be honest, I'm happy now," her voice is shaking, is she crying again?

"But, ate will be more happy if you'll come back to us."

"Please, baby. Ate will wait, okay?"

My eyes automatically open, my heart beats loudly.

Hey! My vision came back! I can see clearly again!

I was about to touch my eyes when suddenly touched something.

Right! I'm wearing my glasses. I forgot to take it off earlier. I frowned.

What an idiot, Nali. So much for getting your normal vision back, huh.

Wait, is that another dream?

I'm getting those dreams more frequently than before. Sometimes, Mama is the one talking, there's one time I heard Papa's voice too. Now, my sister? Whose next?

Maybe I'm just tired. Yeah, I'm just weary. Things been hectic at school, particularly that it is my last year in high school.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Nali? You awake?" It's my sister! Maybe she sneak inside my room when she got home to wake me up. Maybe that's the reason I heard her voice.

"Yeah, come in."

The door knob twisted, she opened the door widely, so she can enter.

She's wearing a fitted maroon dress and red slippers, she said it's her home attire. Too elegant to wear at home. I frowned at that.

She's not wearing any make-up today. Her curly long hair isn't tied today.

"Dinner's ready, Mama and Papa is here," she informed.

" 'kay. I will just change clothes."

Ate Raine go downstairs. Like I said, I change my clothes.

I took a half bath first, then I wear my navy blue t-shirt and a white dolphin shorts. I went to my study table to get my glasses — I put it there earlier before I go to the bathroom. Lastly, I look at my reflection in the mirror, I didn't bother to fix my hair.

When I reach the dining area, our parents is really there, even my brother is there. We are complete today.

I kissed my mother and father's cheek. I hugged the twins from the back and Pops too.

I sit beside Pops, where I usually sit.

"So, how's school Nali?" Mama asked while we're eating.

The spoon with the dish I was about to eat was hung midway. I place it back at my plate before looking at my mother.

"Fine, Ma. This week starts to be hectic since the exam for the first sem is near."

Papa looked at me, "What course will you take on college?" he asked softly.

"I'm not sure yet. But, I won't take business po." I nervously said.

This is the first time we will talk about what course will I be taking.

My brother's attention diverted into me, "Why?" I raised my head and looked at him.

"Don't feel like taking it. I'm not interested too, kuya."

He just slowly nodded, like he is not convinced with what I said.

"Let her choose what course she like. She is old enough, she can decide on her own," my sister butt in the conversation.

Pops and Papa agreed with her. Mama and Kuya doesn't like the idea because it will be hard for me since I'm not yet sure with what I want.

"Take your time, Nali. No pressure." Papa said and gave me a hearty smile.

That made my heart at ease. I'm glad that he won't persuade me to take business.

I just don't want to take part in our business, everything 'bout it seems complicated. I hate complicated things.

There's this feeling within me that tells me I don't belong in that world. My guts say I belong somewhere, probably not there, but somewhere I don't know yet.

That night, I didn't have those dreams. I slept peacefully. I woke up early, so I got to school early as well.

"Thanks, Mang Jude." I closed the back seat's door.

I fix my slightly ruffled navy blue skirt and the sleeves of our long sleeved uniform. This uniform is comfortable to wear, the skirt is not too short, the long sleeve got a soft fabric too.

I, then, face the front gate of the academy. —CCA.

Now, how do I know where do I truly belong? What kind of place is it? Is it peaceful there?

My thoughts got cut-off because of someone.

"Inara!"

I saw Kale across the street, running and grinning like an idiot. I stared at him until he's in front of me, smiling while looking directly at my eyes.

Is it a place? What if it's a person?

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