Chapter one: In the beginning

I felt Shawn's eyes staring at me, he was my first kiss, and my first crush. Shawn, well he is the mysterious type of attractive, his dark hair, and light eyes seemed like they where from afar. Shawn was tall, probably around 6'2. And he was built a little too nicely for us girls to ever think they'd have a chance. With his dark and gloomy show nobody went near him whether it was to be friends or flirt, but he wasn't always this way, but now he was harsh, and cold to many people. Never shared a heartfelt moment with anyone, and didn't hang around many people. I watched him transform from the guy that kissed me under an umbrella, to a man who never showed any sign of love or care. I didn't know much about his family life, or of him in general anymore. What I knew is he was the mysterious beauty next door. The Shawn I knew was the one that went out of his way to make sure you didn't get rained on, he would defend you in front of any bully, he kept your secrets untold unless you where ready to share them with the people around you, and he cared for you in such a way that it was unlike anyone you have ever been with. He showed you kindness, and he didn't allow you to get hurt. He was my hero back then. The time has changed though. I don't know what this Shawn is like much anymore, but what I do know is sometimes I catch a glimpse of the Shawn I once cherished so deeply in my heart.

Even though me and Shawn don't hang out as much as we once have, we still randomly talk, and tease each other. It's always been that way between us. I was 5 when I met him, and he was best friends with my brother. When I hit 8 me and him got closer. And we slowly became really close. After the kiss things got really awkward, and he started changing so much. I couldn't keep up with him. So we don't see each other 24/7 anymore, and we definitely don't know each other as well anymore, but we have always been light hearted with each other. At certain points in my life, he was the only thing good anymore. He kept me going, and didn't let me fall. No matter how cold he was to me at times, I will always owe him my life.

Anyways...

As Shawn's eyes gazed at me I felt myself becoming uneasier. I wasn't wearing the kind of outfit I would averagely wear, actually my best friend forced me into this outfit. She wanted me to look good for Ashton's birthday celebration. There was word going around that he liked me. I never believed it because he's part of the popular crowed and I'm a nerd, but Anika did believe it. Anika decided that I needed to wear a tight mini skirt, with a tube top, belly shirt thing. And a plaid denim shirt that was unbuttoned, oh and combat boots. I thought this style seemed weird, and extremely anyone but me, this shy Davina would much prefer wearing skinnie jeans a t-shirt and a jacket. I do like the boots though.

Shawn was a flirt with me always, but he didn't mean much by it. It was his act. There was always a heavy attraction between me and him, but I never knew if it was fake or real. So who knows.

Ashton is a different kind of attractive then Shawn, he shows everyone a kind version of himself. He also is the total opposite of Shawn. He was actually kind of short, and a bit more on the skinny side. He has bright blonde hair, and dark brown . He seemed a bit more on the sensitive side then most men. He and I got close the older I got, me and him understood each other's talk more. We liked being partners in group activities because we would get the best grade, we began being friends, and everyone use to tease us about getting together, but I was never as sure as everyone else. He was cute, friendly, and showed heavy interest, but even through that I didn't think it was much more then a current situation type of thing.

I decided it would be best to go and walk off somewhere. I couldn't stay in the sight of Shawn anymore. It was a very uneasy feeling having guys stare at me, plenty where tonight, but Shawn being one of them just brings me back to our childhood. Shawn was actually several years older then me. I just turned 18 a month ago, and Shawn well he's 21. This is where Ashton just makes more sense to me. He's 19. This is his 19th birthday. I do kind of like Ashton so it just makes since right?

As I walked further into the large group of people I decided why not just have fun. Grabbing a glass of whatever the beverage was I then started dancing and trying to enjoy myself. I think an hour went by somehow, I could feel myself becoming light on my feet, and that everything was smoother then it was before. I laughed and giggled to everything. That is until I felt large hand pull my waist into them.

At first it felt like dancing, and slowly it became more aggressive. I tried moving away but my frail body couldn't pull itself away. Large hands ran over my body, and no matter how drunk I got I couldn't let the uneasy feeling go, this wasn't the type of fun I was willing to go through. I scanned the room for help, I had two options, Ashton who I didn't think could get me, or Shawn who it would be embarrassing. I mustered up a yell for help and to my surprise Shawn got there in seconds and had me in his arms telling me it was going to be ok, and Ashton was getting the man out of the house. Even though it was technically just dancing, I decided I wouldn't stop them from removing his existence in the house.

While in Shawn's arms I realized how truly comfortable it was. For a couple seconds I just let myself stay in his arm, but soon I realized that this couldn't happen.I realized that I couldn't have him, and that I couldn't let myself feel these things for him.

Time drug on forever it felt like, that is until Ashton started shouting "this is where the fun begins. All the girls will draw a name of one of the guy's out of the hat, and that guy's will be their 'lover' in this game. Meaning that they will learn about you, and once everyone finishes the 'truth or dare' course they should be able to answer any of the questions after wards." He then starts handing out the names. Once everyone got there I opened the name I got and my heart sunk. Shawn. How did I end up with Shawn.... The guy I needed to distance myself from...