CH.26

A week after the latest near Apocalypse, Riley started acting strange. He even accused Buffy of being the reason everything went bad at the initiative. When he went to take a swing at her she put him in an arm bar and realized he was tweaking like an addict.

She called Giles and Willow to do some test. When they saw what was in his system, they realized the true horror of what doctor Walsh was up to. She had been drugging all her men. Keeping them around for experiments for the final plan. They were supposed to be pieces in more of Adams brethren.

Figuring this out Ryan had Lyndsey call the general and set a meeting with Dr.Walsh in the psychiatric ward. Three days later, Willow, Tara and Ryan were forced to do a purification spell on Riley or risk him dying before Walsh could be brought to fix him. After his system was magically flushed, he calmed down a lot and acted pretty normal.

Around this time it when Ryan's new headache showed up. A second slayer with a bad attitude and a penchant for knives. She introduced herself to him thinking he was Buffy's new squeeze. " I'm Faith, the second slayer I'm sure B filled you in on me?"

Ryan shook his head." No ones said anything about a second slayer or any Faith for that matter but if your here for Buffy you just missed her."

Faith smirked." I'm sure. Do you mind if I come in? It will probably be a while before she gets back."

Standing to the side he didn't invite her but left it to her. She walked past him asking." You wouldn't happen to have any beer would you? A girl could get thirsty after a while."

Ryan told her. "Beers in the fridge don't wake up the girls or Xander. Other than that you can have the run of the house till Buffy gets back."

With that he turned around to leave. He was met with her hand on his ass. Stopping he told her. "While I'm sure your enjoying yourself, my ass isn't up for grabs, so lose the hand or lose your hands."

When she heard this she let go of his ass and reached around grabbing his dick. "What about this? Is it up for grabs?"

He grabbed her wrist and forced her hand open and asked. " Are you sure your a slayer and not part succubus? Either way your Buffy's friend so I'll tell you one more time I'm not up for grabs right now."

Faith pouted and asked. "So, what's your girlfriend got that I don't?"

He snorted in response. "For one, both of my girlfriend's are upstairs asleep right now and for the other my heart."

When she heard this she asked. "Wait, so Buffy's not your girlfriend then who is?"

Laughing he told her. "No! Buffy's not my girlfriend, Willow and Tara are! Buffy's with Riley. As a matter of fact, that's where she went just now."

Faith nodded in understanding. "So, she's sleeping with you and Willow on the side. Huh, I didn't think she had it in her."

Shaking his head he explained. " Buffy lives in one of the dorm rooms here! This is a coed frat house. Xander and his girl have the room downstairs. Buffy has hers upstairs next to Willow's, mine and Tara's. Riley has a frat house pretty much to himself till he ships back out with the army or his fraternity brothers heal. Hence her going there for sex."

Faith looked put out by something as she sat down with her newly acquired beer. She mulled something over after a while and asked him. "So how did you score Willow and another girl in a gig? I didn't know she had a thing for anyone but Oz."

Sighing Ryan sat down and told her most of the story. Only stopping when he heard someone waking up. "No way! So you were stuck in a hell dimension too! I always knew B overplayed that card. So how long were you there?"

Ryan looked up at the stairs when he answered." Two-"

"Faith! You can't be here! Why are you here? Are you going to hurt Buffy? This is bad!" Seeing Willow come down and freak out he turned back to see Faith jumping at him with her beer bottle. When she swung it across his head, tapped her forehead knocking her out. The beer bottle broke on his head spilling the beer all over him.

At the sound of Faith hitting the floor, Xander came running out in his boxers with a sledgehammer. "Wu, whose there?"

Tara came down the stairs behind Willow and hugged her at the sight of Faith. When he saw this all he thought was.-Huh, Willow must have told her about faith.-

Leaving the downed slayer to go change he said."Xander get some pants on or go to bed! Willow, join me?"

While the girls and he took a shower they told him about her. " So if I got this right, she's a messed up kid who accidentally killed someone and blamed it on Buffy like a kid would."

Willow pouted when she heard him. " Yeah but she's evil! She killed someone!"

Ryan took a deep breath and jumped in the deep end. " So have I and so has Buffy. Hell if you want to get technical so has angel and Spike and Giles. The only difference as far as I can see was that we own up to our shame and in Angel's case brood over it, well except for Buffy, I doubt she realized what she did."

Willow frowned now and asked."When did Buffy kill someone?"

Sighing he explained." The first order of Taraka member was human he only looked weird because he had a glass eye. As for the other, we all left the female Taraken member to burn to death in the fire Spike started in the church. And Giles got his friend killed while doing an exorcism years ago. The fact that you've seen the darkest did of this world for so long and kept your hands clean still amazes me to this day. It's one of the many things I admire about you. Now I'm not backing Faith for what she did but she still was just a kid and probably very scared. Using her excuses to mask that fear."

When she heard this she mulled it over for a while and came to an understanding. Tara hugged her from behind and said."He's right Will. Maybe it's time to put the past behind you, if for no other reason than to move forward."

Ryan stepped forward and raised his arms waiting on her decision. After a moment Willows mood lighted up and she smiled a little stepping forward into his arms. They finished washing each other off and got dressed to meet their new captive.

When they got back downstairs they saw Xander fully clothed, standing guard a few feet from Faith with his hammer. Seeing this Ryan told him. "Xander! What are you? Thor? Put the hammer away!"

He turned to Faith continuing."And you can stop faking it I know you're awake. There's no way to get the drop on us when I put you in a shielded bubble."

Hearing him everyone reacted a little differently. Xander laughed and headed to his room. The girls walked up beside him and held each other while watching Faith jump up onto her feet.

Seeing this Ryan told her. "Neat trick."

She hit the barrier for a minute then sat back down saying." I could say the same to you. So am I your little prisoner now? Or am I to be a sex slave?"

Willow snorted."As if!"

Tara giggled at Willows response. Ryan however sat down across from her and started speaking." After Buffy gets back I figured I'd leave you with them to talk before I fixed you. After that it depends on you."

She smirked."So they told you about the big bad dark slayer then. You want to fix me? Well I don't need fixing!"

Willow snorted again."Actually we told him all about our passed and he told us something that makes more and more sense now. He explained how from what he could tell you acted like a kid would and we held it against you. For my part I am sorry that I treated you that way. You didn't deserve to be made an outcast but Buffy also didn't need to be blamed for murdering that guy. She may have killed before and not realized it but she didn't blame it on others either."

Tara stopped smiling and held her close. They both sat beside him to wait it out.

Faith looked confused."When did the righteous Buffy kill anyone and why wasn't she hunted like a dog like I am?"

Sighing for the umpteenth time Ryan explained." Years ago before she ever met you and before I ended up in a hell dimension a group of demonic bounty hunters were hired by Spike to kill her. Well two of the assassins they sent were human and the third was a sentient bug swarm. She killed the first one thinking he was a demon or something because he had a glass eye. I went back and tracked the body down to confirm later he was human. And the last assassin was a female human who posed as a cop and tried shooting her. After I threw her into a old pillar we left her to burn with what we thought was Spike and Drusilla. Though that one was mostly on me, no one thought to check till later. I went back for her ring. The fire department told me she burned to death."

Faith cracked up at this."Ha Ha Ha, I knew she wasn't all miss goody to shoes. So, what are you then because as far as I know, no one could toss human through a pillar and not have something supernatural going for them. Unless your a steroid user and you don't look the part."

Ryan looked away, he knew he wasn't getting through to her. " You two stay here I'll go call Buffy to let her know she's needed."

He went outside and called." Sup, this is Buffy I can't come to the phone right now. You know what to do after the beep."

Hearing this he sat down and listened to Willow telling Faith what he was.

" He's a Titan or the Titan I'm still not sure which but he was around before the old ones, the demons that roamed around killing early humans and all that. He was there when the first layer was made. He tried to stop it but he didn't get there in time. He went mad for a bit and killed all the first shadowmen or watchers or something. After that he left and went back into mourning. His people were slaughtered by his twin brother and he killed his brother to save himself. He was called Cain for that. Anyway he protected early man for a while and I think that's where he got the name Prometheus from. But anyway the watchers are afraid of him. He's really nice and sweet most of the time. I fell in love with him before Oz, he's the one that suggested I try new things. He was my first real love and one of the kindest, most caring people I know."

Tara nodded at this and gave her opinion as well."He helped me come out of my shell and accepted me for who I am."

Faith laughed." That's sweet and all but you do realize he'll probably dump you like Oz did once he try's something new of his own, right?"

Both Tara and Willow laughed at this while playing with her sapphire necklace ."We asked him the same thing one night when he was drunk and he told us, ' no matter drunk or sober I'd sooner leave my head up an old ones ass then leave you'. Just to be sure we asked again and he told us the same including, 'I left you my heart and though it's immortal you can still break it with the heel of your boots.'"

When she heard this Faith smiled."Boys would say anything to get laid."

Willow smirked now." Maybe to you, but he's not a boy he's a man and even when we invited Buffy to have fun he still paid more attention to us."

Faith raised her eyebrows at this. "B had some of that and she still went back to a human damn! And look at you Wills sharing your man with other girls."

When she heard this Tara grabbed Willow and kissed her before saying." We are in this together, we love each other the same at least I think?"

Willow grabbed her for another kiss before confirming." You betcha."

Faith leaned back in her seat and told them. "A little girl on girl action, I can dig that."

Shaking his head at their antics he said aloud." Buffy and Riley are almost here their panting from here."

After walking inside he noticed that both his girls were blushing a little while Faith was smirking." So B's almost here Huh?"

Nodding his head Ryan followed up saying. "And your not going be separating me from my heart either."

At the same time they heard Buffy and Riley stomping up the porch."I beat you here!"

They both came inside kissing until they broke apart seeing the company they had. Buffy took a step towards Faith when Ryan put a hand out to stop her. Leaning to the side he rapped a knuckle on the barrier.

"I sealed her in and us out it's time We settled some old wounds and fixed what we can. I heard everything from Willow and Tara. Is there anything you would like to add?"

Buffy sighed seeing she didn't need to fight. "Other than a few minor details no."

Faith snorted." A few minor detail? Your stabbed me in the stomach and dropped me off a two story building into a trash heap!"

Hearing this Ryan turned to Riley and told him." Kitchen top left shelf. It's going to be one of those days. Willow pull Xander and Anya out of bed. Buffy call Giles he'll want to be here as well. And tell him the first person that contacts the police will earn themselves a trip to my bad side."

Everyone shuddered at this and went to work. Ryan sat down next to Tara and waited. It took fifteen minutes for everyone to get here and ready. Giles showed up with Jenny in tow and some guy named Wesley on speaker on his cellphone. When everyone was situated Ryan took a swig of rum then passed it to Willow who was sitting in her special seat.

He began with a long explanation." I closed the door this morning without a headache after you left Buffy. Not two minutes later she showed up asking to come in saying she was your friend. Being the nice guy I strive to be I let her, after a few questions and some groping on her part, Willow came down and said she was bad. She tried to stab me and run and ended up stuck where she is knocked out for a while. While I went to get cleaned off Willow and Tara accompanied me and told me about her. Now I'm in a conundrum and somehow I have a migraine forming and until today I didn't think I could get a headache."

Buffy went to speak and he stopped her. " I'm not done, while I heard her story through impartial ears I was reminded of a few past events that happened. When Willow pointed out she was a murderer, I pointed out that most of us here are in some way killers. You may not remember or realize it but two of the Taraken assassins were human. The first one you killed with a sharp object I assumed was your ice skates and the second was the cop lady that I took a real shine to beating for shooting and almost hitting Willow. She burnt to death in the church FYI. Though like I reminded everyone that was mostly on me. We all just ignored her and left."

Faith saw Buffy's horror struck face." Yeah B, hows-"

Ryan made her mouth disappear saying. "The next one to interrupt me goes in a time out. Now as I was saying I was reminded of the past and how young all of you were. Even in Giles misspent youth, he managed to get a friend killed while trying to exorcise a demon. Now we come to my bloody past filled with death and carnage. I am the only one here I think who has killed a family member then committed a slaughter of the human shamans you know as the shadowmen. While I regret doing it, I would do both all over again if it would save those I lost in the process. Then there's Angel. And I know you don't consider him the same as his counterpart even he will admit that the demon inside him is a part of him. When a vampire is turned the taint in the sire's blood separates the human's soul good from bad and ejects the good. So when he tells you the demon is apart of him, he meant literally, it's his human half at his worst. That's where their personalities come from. Now as I was saying about faith and you all being so young, she acted like a child would when they're confronted with doing something bad, she pointed her finger at the only other person there and blamed them. Then she was manipulated by the only father figure she could find into killing again. And I'll say this even though she's a little bit of an idiot for that. She's about to be forced to grow up in a few minutes and after that as far as I'm concerned she's free to go and I'll even have Lyndsey represent her In court if she still wants it. Now you can speak!"

With a wave of his hand Faiths mouth returned. Looking at the being in front of her Faith looked terrified." What do you mean I'm going to be forced to grow up?"

Ryan ignored everyone and just drank and held Willow and Tara close. Everyone was yelling over each other including Angel and Wesley. Jenny whistled and got them to shut up. " Take it from someone whose been dead before and brought back, speak one at a time or I'll start staking people myself."

Giles smiled at this."Buffy as the person with the main with her I think you should say your peace first."

Buffy swallowed then began." I forgive you and I'm sorry for hurting you Faith. I didn't realize until now what my actions caused. I'm just as guilty as you for killing humans. So I'm truly sorry."

Faith smirked." I'm sure you are."

After hearing this Ryan spoke deep and loud. "VERITAS. There now no one can lie, even those on the phone. Continue."

Buffy looked at Faith and repeated." I'm sorry Faith I really and I forgive you."

Faith tried to say something but stopped each time. Finally, she got out." Yeah, whatever it doesn't change somethings."

Wesley said over the phone." I'm sorry I turned on you in your hour of need Faith and even more sorry that I wasn't there to help you get better. And Oh God am I sorry for leaving you to that monsters manipulations."

Angel was heard over the phone next. " I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you and help you get away from the mayor. I'm even more sorry that I didn't save you from continuing to listen to him when I was there. I should've stabbed him in his lying mouth when I entered his office and took you from him."

Cordelia went next." I'm sorry I didn't listen to you when it mattered and helped where I could. Hey Ryan! Do you know what happened to my comp-"

"That's enough from that bunch for now. Next!"Ryan went on closing the phone.

Giles spoke next." I'm terribly sorry for not listening or helping you out Faith and if you'll allow it after this, I'd be honored to take over as both yours and Buffy's watcher."

It was Xander's turn. "While I am sorry for not listening to you or trying to save you I'm still mad that you kicked me out of your room after you took my virgin-"

Xander went bug-eyed at what he was saying and shoved his hand in his mouth, biting his knuckle.

Faith laughed. " No big Xan, you were hogging the covers and I don't like sharing a bed with most people. I ain't a cuddler."Hearing that everyone either apologized or forgave her she started to lighten up.

Ryan watched this from afar and when it was Willows turn all she said was." I meant everything I told you so far today."

Which earned her a nod from Faith who turned to Ryan while getting anxious at what he might do.

He slid Willow off his lap and onto Tara's and stood up, walking over to her. When he passed where the barrier was ripples spread as he crossed it. He sat down next to her and looked her in the eyes. After several moments she passed out and he sat back waving for them to calm down. He closed his eyes and entered his mind scape. He found her standing there looking at a vast endless expanse. Walking beside her he asked. " Are you ready? The trip inside is longer than you could imagine."

She looked at him and asked her own question. "Whose is all that darkness? Yours or mine?"

Chuckling he told her."That is mine! Yours isn't even an small percentage of that size. Child you have a lot to learn before your grown and it will be painful."They turned to a door. " Through there is were yours lay."

Walking through they started at the beginning. Her child hood. Slowly she relived it all and when her watcher was killed again in front of her she turned away and saw herself. Her shadow talked to her with arrogance and self loathing." We survived nightmare upon nightmare and this is what broke us! You are what broke us!" Her shadow started beating her down.

After a while, he stepped in and stopped them. " Enough for now. Continue with the memories!"

Faith crawled and barely stood." I can't"

Shaking his head he looked at her and said. "Life rarely gives people options all it cares about is moving forward."

With that, she continued to live her past. When she got to the Scooby gang she stood a little straighter. She studied him as he watched with his own emotions and shook his head. When it got her first accidental murder her shadow came back. She fought a little harder and lasted much longer than before she was overcome and beaten again.

All he said was." Continue."

All the way through the mayor saga until she killed again. This time there were two shadows fighting her when she was overcome he interfered again. " Stand up."

Her legs were broken and she was in a mess of her own blood now." I can't!"

When he looked at her he asked." Why do you think there are two this time?"

She lashed out." Double the fun?"

When she realized he wasn't going to give her the answer she said." One isn't mine?"

"Correct, but which one?"

She looked at them and tried to stand. Seeing one of them smirking and the other looking down in shame. She replied." The happy one. Even at my lowest, I wasn't really proud of these moments."

When she said this, the smirking one disappeared. She stood up now somehow healed. The shadow launched itself at her. The fight was dead even. For a while anyway. Eventually, her shadow outlasted her. And when it was about the best her he stepped in and knocked it to the floor. Then he took his time beating it worse than she was moments before. After it was barely visible and holding on for dear life did he stop. He pulled a golden string from it and dragged it to Faith when he gave her it she felt all the shame and pain from her past multiplied by a magnitude of billions until he released it into her hold all the way.

After she came back to herself she asked." What was that? That wasn't from me! Was that yours?"

Sighing he told her." Sometimes as bad as it sounds all you need is to look at someone far worse than yourself to truly put things into perspective. My twin and I were identical in nearly every way. We shared everything down to the pain and feeling of guilt to the feelings of love and pleasure. When he went off the deep and I was forced into a coma-like state by the guilt he felt. I experienced every murder and ruinous thing he did to our people and worse yet our family. I was forced to not only experience it but his twisted emotions while he did it. When it was all over I came to just in time to kill him right before he could move to kill me. The only thing that saved my sanity was the eons I spent going over every little action until I found the true core of myself and realized I was as much a victim as I was guilty. When I slaughtered the shadowmen, I could only comfort myself with the fact that I knew I wasn't completely gone. It took several thousand years after that to heal again. It's why I've tried to avoid directly killing any innocent's. I know the weight would send me over the edge and I'd likely never recover. I regret a lot about my past but it isn't the only thing that shapes who I am. I decided to be the way I am and damn anyone who would change me. Angel lives with almost the same if not a more deserved and lesser guilt. But mine is by far more vast and easier to understand. Like I showed you today, I spent eons doing what you just did and each time I refused to quit because it's my shame and I own it. So are you ready for round two?"

Faith stood straighter." Hell yeah if you can do this forever I can at least kick my own ass once."

Over and over again she fought never stopping and never giving up. When she finally won on her own he turned to her. "Your ready to grow up now."

With that she lived his life for several eons she experienced his pain and emotions until she stood beside him and told him." I get it now growing up is more than just fessing up to your own mistakes and looking in the mirror it's about being mentally and emotionally strong enough to help carry someone else's burden."

Nodding he congratulated her." Well done I only showed you the peaceful years but you've grasped the meaning of the whole. And I called you an idiot. All you needed was to be taught. As a graduation reward I'll help you clear your mind and build your own mind space."

With that the two of them went back to her memories. He helped her build a working structure that ended up looking like his old high school library. Each memory was tucked away in books and the bad and dangerous ones were locked in the book cage.

When she looked at the empty shelves where the good memories were stored and looked sad he smiled and told her. "Cheer up the bad parts are locked away if you'd like I can offer a way to make good one?"

She smirked at him." I'm sure."

Wrapping her head with his knuckles." Don't be dirty, you know what I mean."

Smiling a real smile for the first time since her watcher died she replied." Sure but no more treating me like a kid."

Laughing he said." That's the secret! Go be a kid at least for a while! Find love,break some hearts play games, sing a few songs and actually experience happiness. Then when all's said and done come back and join a cause make friends battle enemies and be true to yourself! But don't worry the battle will be here when your ready. Until then go and live. I'll get you enrolled in college if you want!"

She looked at him like he was stupid." You know for a fact I haven't been to school since I was knee high! Where would I learn enough to fit in?"

Smiling he gave her one last gift. He kissed her forehead and a lot of the shelves in the fact section of her inner library filled up. Before she could say anymore he vanished and she was being shaken awake.