The Pain of a Broken Heart

December 15, 2018

I thought that my life was going quite well.

I was going to college to take over my father's company - not really by my own choice but there's only so much you can do. I had a loving boyfriend of three years who has always had my back and supported me in whatever I wanted to do. Dad wasn't quite happy that I was with a guy, wanting biological grandbabies, but he never tried to break us up. I think he knew that I would retaliate and do what I wanted anyway. Mom just wanted me to be happy, but she didn't even dare try to stick up for me towards dad. I don't think she was afraid of him, but that she loved him too much to defy him. Her own children she couldn't stand up for, it was a kind of love that I didn't wish to have.

But here I was, my heart shattering into a million pieces as I gazed up at the man that I love…

"I'm breaking up with you, Lucas," He told me coldly, not meeting my eyes, "I'm sorry."

The man that I love, I couldn't even recognize him anymore. I gazed up into his chocolate brown eyes, ones that were once filled with warmth, but were now as cold as ice. His brown hair normally kept slicked back and neat was a haggard mess on the top of his head. His tan skin was covered in grime, and it looks to me like he has lost a little bit of weight. This wasn't my Jamison, something wasn't right.

"Why are you talking like this?" I demanded, feeling the fear and frustration coursing through my body as I grabbed his arm, feeling my heart slamming into my rib cage, "I love you, Jamison! We were just fine when I last saw you. How can you suddenly change your mind?"

We were planning on moving in together, to escape my father's watchful eyes. I thought Jamison wanted this! He always talked about starting a family with me. To make it so we would be together, get married, and grow old with one another.

He yanked his arm out of my grasp, looking quite pissed, "oh? And what would you know, Lucas? You've had practically everything you've ever wanted to be provided by daddy dearest while people like me have worked our asses off to get to where we are now."

I couldn't believe he was yelling at me, flinching away from him.

"You'll never understand what it's like, Lucas!" He repeated himself, shaking his head, "and I'm tired of the problems I have to deal with by being with you. Yes, I loved you, but it grew old, and I want to be with someone who can bring me happiness, and not that dull pain I deal with when I'm around you."

It was like a slap to my face, and I took a sudden step back, feeling my heart pounding in my chest, "a dull pain? We were just together, and you were happy! Was that all a lie then?"

He sighed, dragging a hand through his hair, "yes, it was. You'll be better off without me."

As he turned away to get away from me, it suddenly dawned on me why he was acting like this. It wasn't him, I knew this. I reached out, grabbing his wrist once more, not letting him run away from me. I wasn't going to let him go this easily.

"Is it my dad?" I asked him, seeing how he was not looking at me, "did he tell you to break up with me? You know you don't have to listen to him!"

This time when he looked back at me, I could see the sadness in his eyes, "please, Lucas, you need to let me go…"

"Why should I let you go?" I pleaded with him, going closer to wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest, "I love you, Jamison, and if it's my father the reason why you want to break up with me, then I can't accept it. When have we ever let people get between us just because they don't like us being together?"

I saw his arms move slightly, like he was going to hug me, but it all ended as he grabbed my arms, pushing me away, "I'm sorry, Lucas, I really am. I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me for everything I have done. Just know, I did it because I love you."

"But-" I tried to protest, but it was much too late.

He turned away from me, and all I could do was watch him walk away. I was hurting, feeling like my heart was breaking in two, but I felt a rage boiling inside of me. There was only one person I could think of that would do something like this, and they were going to get an earful from me.

No longer am I going to allow them to dictate my life and ruin my relationships.

No more!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My father, Devon Havens, has always been an intimidating man, and was one that you never dared to cross. Sitting behind his desk, he barely even glanced up as I barged into his office, letting the door slam into the wall. His bold eyebrows furrowed in irritation, glancing up, seeing the darkness in his grey eyes. His short black hair was slicked back, grey streaks showing his age.

"Lucas." He greeted, leaning back in his seat, "what did I tell you about slamming my office door?"

I stormed towards him, slamming my hands down on his desk in frustration, "don't pretend like you give a shit, dad, the only thing you care about is your stupid reputation! How could you destroy my relationship? I understand that you don't like the fact that I am gay, but that doesn't mean you can just fuck everything that I love up!"

Dad jumped to his feet, easily towering over me as he glared down at me, looking really, really pissed, "how dare you talk to me that way, Lucas? I am your father and I deserve the upmost respect!"

"Respect?" I yelled back at him, feeling my blood boiling, "why do you deserve any respect as you got the man that I love to break up with me?"

"If he loved you so much, why would he break up with you just because I told him to?" Dad responded, a slight smirk on his face.

It was like a punch to the gut, "he does love me! It was you-"

Dad rolled his eyes, sitting back down in his chair, "I understand you might be angry with me right now because you think that I am the bad guy, but trust me, I'm doing what's best for you."

I hated him in this instance, and I told him coldly, "what would've been best for me is never having you for a father."

As he looked up, to say what I'm not sure, I spun on my heel and ran out of his office, hearing him shout out my name. My heart throbbed with pain as I rushed up to my bedroom, wishing that this misery would just end. I grabbed a bag, stuffing whatever I thought I needed into it. I wasn't sure where I was going to go, but I knew it had to be as far away from here as possible.