1 The last thing I remember
"Dad, why is my sister called Rose?" - I asked my dad, driving the truck a seat beside me.
I knew for a fact that my dad was a weird man. He loved those novels where everything went perfectly for the main character, and I knew that they were ridiculed for being boring self-inserts. As I turned 16, I started to ask myself certain questions, just like kids my age did. Why is my sister named Rose? What if my dad gave me a stupid name? My suspicions were quickly confirmed.
"Because your mother loves roses." - He answered.
"Thanks dad" - I said, shivering in anxiety.
Oh fuck, there is no way...
"No problem, Self-Insert."
My whole worldview shook. Why would he choose that as a name? Was that because dad wanted to see his better self in me? But then he could've just used his own name and add a 2 in the end!
"Dad, why am I named self-insert? Isn't that the criticism of the novels that you read?"
"Haha, you misunderstood!" - He laughed - "It's just that I like inserting my dick into my ass."
...
And that is the last thing that I remember. I have a faint image of a gigantic 30 meter tall monster truck blitzing towards us with 'Isekai Monster 3000' written on it, but now that I think about it, that's highly unlikely. I seem to have thoughts, but no memory of what I base them off of. All I know is that I'm now here.
I look around. I see trees and a huge building behind them. There are high school students walking past me. I notice that I'm sitting on the sidewalk of the road leading to the school, so I get up and follow where they're going. I try to look normal.
"So when did you get your system?" - Asked the red haired dude walking in front of me.
"Same as others, sometime when I learned to talk" - Answered the girl beside him.
I look down on my body and hands. I am dressed the same way as them. I have a bag and a school insignia too. This can't be my body. I must have inherited someone's body, or else people would have noticed that I just appeared out of thin air. Speaking of thin air, it feels weird to breathe. I put my hand on my chest, and push a little. I feel a dull pain spreading from my heart. Maybe this guy suddenly got a heart attack! But why didn't he alert anyone? Maybe he didn't want to ruin the vibe and appear naive in his pain like some heartbroken emo kid. God, that would've been horrible.
As I start to get closer to the school building, I say 'system' in my head with intent, and it shows a game-like light blue pop-up window. I hope that the grand mages of marketing won't try to advertise anything on this window.
►Name: Self Insert
►Race: Reincarnated human
►Gender: Male
►System: The Genius God-Slaying (manly) System
►STR: 5 | AGI:5 | INT: 5 | STA: 5 | MAG: 5 | Skill points: 2
►Health: 30
►Status: Normal
Why the fuck is the word 'manly' in my system's name? I hope that the others' system names are just as cringy.
As we get closer to the school's entrance, I see a booth inbetween people with the words 'Status check' written on it, and an adult that's likely a teacher sitting in it.
I look around myself. This school is huge and made of something that were clearly never bricks. The white walls shoot up to ten floors high with pillars on them holding flags with the same colors as the insignia I have. I get this grand feeling of being important and a part of something big. Maybe I'll get a chance at blending into this new life without any knowledge of this world, and be a magician in the future? Nah, I bet magicians work at a mind numbing 9-5 job enchanting swords in a small office space. I'd rather live in a forest and eat mushrooms like a wise sage.
"Next!" - Says the teacher as I walk up to her, then continues in a god-forsaken tone - "A̶̮͛p̷̢̗̌̂p̵͖͔̑͘r̴̤̔̒ḁ̶̪͋i̶͍̇͐s̴͙̟̓ė̷͍͓͝ ̶̡̧̍̆B̴̭̝͒ŏ̶̻̉y̴̹̪̋"
"Reincarnated, huh?" - She asks in a suspicious tone as she looks up at me.
