2003

HER new home was quite jagged but anything that would keep her from Spencer would do. She kept off loading. Joshua was gone and it's right what the doctor said, there's nothing she could do about it.

She's started living with her pain, Spencer should as well live with his.

She thought about Spencer when she turned to her pillow at night for comfort. She was sure he was also feeling the pains as she were.

But the swing - if only he had not bought that swing. She wept. Then, she remembered their quarrel earlier and wept the more. She felt deeply alone. How was Spencer faring?

Spencer was fast asleep. Not bad.

At least, that took him away from his alcohols, cursing himself and thinking about Joshua. He wouldn't blame himself in this issue and he wouldn't blame Liz for thinking he was responsible for Joshua's death. But, the two of them knew inwardly that someone needed to be blamed.

Liz was still fast asleep when she heard a loud knock on her door. She lazily stood up to get the door not minding how she looked.

"Hey Liz"

"Greg..." She really didn't have time for any visitors now. "I really don't think I'm in the mood for any visitor now"

"Just give me a minute"

"I don't have a second to spare"

"I'll be quick"

"Greg I..."

"Liz, please"

She yawned, giving up; "What's the time? Ten?"

Greg helped himself to a sit and observed his surroundings. It wasn't that bad, he observed; It was a wide parlour divided into dining and parlour section by three small stairs. It was small, with a television, two sits and the dining section. There wasn't any frame or wall paint. It was simple. "So when did you find this apartment?" Greg asked her.

"What do you want Greg?" She snapped.

"Nothing... Just came to give my condolences" he took a deep breath and continued; "I went over to Spencer's as soon as I heard the news to share my sympathy and I found out that you were gone" he said.

Liz only sat as a reply.

"Spencer told me everything"

"Alright. I'm having a feeling Spencer sent you here"

"No. He didn't. I came on my own" he said and she gave him a dead stare. "Look he's down Liz, he's also part of this. I'm not supporting anyone but I think what you did was wrong" he said.

"Time's up. Leave" she was fed up.

"Liz I understand you're the mother but you've gotta look out for your family. I found Spencer at suicidal point!" Greg said.

"What! How is he? Is he fine? I hope he's alright? What...what happened?" Liz was worried.

"He would have killed himself right there if not that I showed up" Greg said.

Liz wept, cursing herself. "How's he Greg?"

"He's fine" he said in doubt; "he's feeling betrayed, he's starting to think he's the one to be blamed for Josh's death, he's fed up Liz! You left him" Greg was pissed off. Liz continued weeping. Loosing Spencer after Josh would be more than a nightmare.

"Liz you need to go back..." Greg continued; "you need to go back and apologize. He's mourning his child for God's sake"

Liz kept shut and slumped on the chair.

Greg continued "only God knows if he wouldn't attempt suicide again. You've crushed him. I can't even believe you'd do that"

"But the swing" Liz cried.

"Liz no one's perfect. You could have also bought that same swing"

"But..."

"Don't judge anyone Liz" Greg was right and Liz knew. She didn't want anything to hurt Spencer but she was the one hurting him.

"I don't know what to do" she said, throat sore from crying and truly, she didn't know what to do.

"Just go back. He needs you, he needs his family" Greg said.

"I can't" she couldn't, she had moved on and that was that.

"You can" he assured her; "don't torture my best friend" he said.

"Just keep an eye on him and... Take care of him for me" she said sobbing.

"You do love him Liz right?" Greg asked.

"I don't know anymore" she truthfully said looking at him with wet eyes.

Greg knew Liz needed more time. She just lost her son and she wasn't in her right sense of mind. "I think you should stay here for a while and clear your head. I'll be back soon and I'll take you back to Spencer" he promised with a smile which Liz gave back reluctantly. Nothing and no one would make her go back to that house. She saw Joshua lay dead on the swing Spencer bought for him on his birthday and that was the truth.

Greg left.