68 I Can Do It

Yavanna sat in the tub with her dark hair fanning out around her in the warm water.

"It's expected…" Amory's words echoed in her mind, spinning and spinning until she closed her eyes from fear of being sick.

It was expected for him to touch her in such a away? It was expected to feel such a way? She ran through all she knew of husbands and wives. They would become naked and his member would go into her woman's place and that was how offspring would be created.

But it was supposed to feel so fluttery and hot? Why? What was the purpose of it all?

"I want to touch you…"

She shivered that strange shiver imagining him touching her. She allowed her mind to wander, he had already touched her in a few places, where else would he touch her? And why? His touch on her made her feel as if her skin was not her own.

She began scrubbing herself, and with her mind worked up as it was, she imagined him dragging the wet cloth across her body. Gooseflesh arose on her skin and her breath hitched.

She threw the cloth from herself and it landed on the ground with a wet thud. She stared at it as though it was evil incarnate. Rinsing her hair quickly, she fled from the tub.

He was doing things to her and he wasn't even in the room.

She sat down on the bed eventually, curled up comfortably in her robe. Her heart raced when she smelled him all around her. That cool, cozy scent of pine and the misty forests combined with the racy scent of something purely him. Purely male. She tried to analyze all of the scents that she discovered in his sheets.

And again, her mind drifted. The more she laid there in his bed, the more restless she became. Was he going to come back soon? He was likely busy. Should she be busy, she was queen afterall. Maybe everyone expected her to be resting.

Rolling onto her back she frowned. She no longer wore her veil, so therefore it was disgraceful and a lie for her to walk around free of it. They needed to consummate their marriage. It appeared simple enough. She would just have to endure more of his touches and caresses.

Looking in the mirror across from the bed she stared at her eyes. They were shining with excitement. Why was it such an exciting prospect to have his hands all over her? Shouldn't she see it as an invasion? But she didn't. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself that she should be terrified, she wasn't.

After much deliberation and pacing, she called for Christa to come. When her lady in waiting arrived they both embraced after the many weeks of being apart.

"It's so good to see you safe, your majesty." She said after they'd separated. "We feared the worst."

Yavanna nodded, her mind distracted with how she was to word her question.

Christa's broad smile dissolved when she saw Yavanna's hesitant expression. "Is everything alright, your majesty?"

Biting her lower lip, she met the older woman's gaze, "You're married, yes?"

Christa straightened and nodded, a faint blush on her face, "I am."

"How…" She licked her lips, "How do you ask your husband to..to—" She inhaled deeply, "To be intimate with you?"

"Oh!" Christa exclaimed softly and her blush deepened. After a few spaces of silence, she answered, "In my few years of experience, I-I would say that my husband usually gets…annoyed if I don't tell him straightforwardly—" She swallowed thickly.

Yavanna nodded, "So what do you do then?"

Shifting into her place, Yavanna could see that Christa was uncomfortable. Embarrassment was prevalent in both of them. "I-I tell him that…I feel lonely or that I miss him." She murmured and Yavanna felt guilt stab her for having invaded this couple's privacy. "And then we go from there.."

Yavanna nodded again, her fingers twisting anxiously in her lap, "This likely sounds silly to you, but…how—no. Could you help me seduce my husband?"

If Christa wasn't blushing before, she certainly was now. "It would be my pleasure, your majesty."

After another bath, in which Christa used more extravagant oils and herbs, Christa gave her an ointment to massage into her sensitive places. Yavanna felt her soul leave her body, but she did as Christa suggested and soon she felt it affecting the flesh between her thighs in a strange way.

Christa gave her a silk robe that was apparently from Yavanna's wardrobe. It was much thinner than what she was used to. The lady in waiting dabbed perfume behind her ears and along her collarbone before dabbing it on her ankles.

She brushed her hair and tied it back with a crimson bow. After cleaning up her face ever so slightly, Christa told her that she was finished.

Staring in the mirror, Yavanna's skin tingled from apprehension. It wasn't even that big of a deal. As Christa had explained, married couples did it all the time. It was expected and necessary.

Yavanna wasn't sure why she wanted to do it. For security, maybe. Her honour. And a part of her wanted to try. She wanted to see what it was like. Would he plant more kisses along her neck as he'd done before?

But, she shivered when she accounted for the fact that though Amory may not hate her anymore, he still might have no interest in procuring heirs. He may have meant something else when he says he wanted her. He may just want to own her. As a collector houses his antiques.

She sat on the bed, her red robe matching the hue of the blanket. In fact, most of Amory's room was red. Her hair trickled over her shoulders rebelliously while she twisted her fingers this way and that. It was now late and night continued to stretch on.

Yavanna let her anxiety get the better of her and she began to take the bow out of her hair. He wasn't going to come. He was probably taking a maid's blood somewhere in the dark corners of the castle. Maybe he was with Mirella.

The thought caused her stomach to twist and she glared at the ribbon in her hand.

"Why give the ribbon such a deadly look?"