1 A Note to my HomoSapiens
*BOOOOM* *TAAAK *DA-DUM*
*Firelights in the sky*
*Hands the special spectacle to see the firelights in case it's morning*
WELCOME! WELCOME! WELCOME!
I see that you've picked this book to read.
Hmmm, I must say, you guys got good taste. Here, let me appreciate you all, for having good taste.
*HANDING THREE POTATOES*
Whatever you guys are imagining, it's a big NO-NO. You can't just eat potatoes. These delicious, mouth-craving creatures should never be eaten since they represent love in this imaginary land. It's a sin if you do otherwise.
Instead…
Do you see that cute-potato in your hand, so cute that you want to eat it? Oh no, don't eat it. You give the love by giving that cute-potato in the play to the protagonists or dedicate it to a cute act or anything it could be. Hand a cute-potato whenever you feel like it.
Do you see that drooly-potato, like how guys are drooling over it since I handed it to you? Yeah, eat them whenever there's a dog-food moment. Yeah, singles, you don't have to eat dog-food anymore, just eat a drooly-potato and continue being here. I mean it's as appetizing as dog-food is, and it's healthy too.
*an intelligent person with good memory raises a hand*
Yes?
Intelligent person: "Didn't you just say that it's a sin to eat potatoes"
Have I? I don't remember saying it. If I had I would have definitely not forgotten it, since I have a good memory. *gives out a-very-donkey-like-nervous-fake laugh*
Do you see that buff-potato? Yes? You need to- *gets rudely interrupted by the assistant*
Assistant: "You need to smack her face with that whenever there's a misjudgment, dishonest, cruel act in the play."
What? Why would I get smacked? And that too with that buff-potato?
Assistant: "Why would the characters or protagonists act or were put in that situation?"
Because that's the play.
Assistant: "What does the play have?"
A script.
Assistant: "and who writes a script?"
The writer.
Assistant: "Who's the writer?"
The author.
*everyone rolls their eyes*
Me.
Assistant: "Yes, since you're the one who's making everyone in the act do that. You deserve the hate, not them."
*Author loses her consciousness due to shock*
*Assistant performs a carotid endarterectomy surgery on the author and brings back her lost consciousness and leaves the stage to the author's dumb-arse self*
Yeah people, throw the potato, not at me but in the act and characters when you don't like any act or a character. But, it really does make sense to throw the buff-potato at me since they do it because I made them do it.
*whispers the latest statement to herself*
Moving on…
I don't have an editor. Yet. But until then please bear with my grammar. Neither my mother-tongue nor my first language is English, so please expect some issues with the grammar here, though I'll try to re-edit the chapters as many times as possible to make the story readable. If you ever find a grammatical error, you're most welcome to point it out. I really appreciate whoever does the kind act.
*pinches cheeks while vigorously shaking the head of the kind person for a brief moment*
Kind person: '…'
My dear Homo Sapiens, I openly invite you to make constructive criticism or feedback on the book as you read. You have no idea how happy I would be to take your help. This is my first time writing a story, I would openly and whole-heartedly take the help from whoever or wherever I get and make improvements in the book and myself.
But...
Do not, I say do not throw insults or comments that might affect someone's self-esteem in a negative way. If you do not like the story, you can very much welcome to leave the ground just as how you came. The door's to your left or maybe right. Even better, you can release yourself early if you're in urgent by saying "Avada Kedavra" or "I want to lay an egg" or whatever kind of magic phrase you know. No one is stopping you,
Except…
Me… *laughs*
No, my dear Homo Sapiens, If you enter this land, you're not allowed to leave unless you completely read it. If you have any complaints about the story, all you have to do is complain about it to me. Easy-Peasy. You all are my customers. You know, there's a great saying, it says "Customer is the Queen." Please throw all of your tantrums, ladies.
*gasps in shock*
I'm not being sexist here. "Customer is the King" You, gentlemen, can throw your arrogance. Throw a potato or tomato or a spider or a damn dead body at me, I don't care. Your presence here is more important to me than what you throw at me. Hella Bella, I cook everything deliciously.
*audience gasps in fear, knowing that their author is cannibal*
Moving forward again…
I understand that you Homo Sapiens want to read something so realistic, something that's humanely possible kind of stuff. I will possibly be in the best humanely behavior to make that happen. However, when you encounter something that's not "humanely" or "realistically", don't fuss over it.
Like I haven't seen any real life?
People come here to escape reality. I'll try to make it happen, where you all escape the reality making you feel the real emotions.
*winks (which goes terribly wrong)*
Moving on from this hundred and sixty-sixth boyfriend of mine… Sorry, I meant, the instruction of mine...
All the characters in this play are not fictitious. Yes, you heard it right. They are not fictitious. They all took birth in a little, stupid, dumb, confused, unimaginably indecisive brain of an active procrastinator a.k.a the author a.k.a Me. So, all people in the play are unique since I gave birth to them. They don't take after anyone or do not represent anyone or haven't been born with or after anyone I know. Mind you, don't ever hurt my babies uttering nonsense like their personality or character is similar to someone or something. There's a mother in me when unleashed, scorns. You know what they say "Hell hath no fury like "I" scorned."
There might be some similarities in personalities or the story that may have happened in real, coincidentally. All I really want to say is, I'm really sorry if you found any similarity in any character and you felt offended. You are all sweet creatures that I don't know, I would never want to make you feel offended. I want all of you guys to be happy, be healthy, and be mean to the mean people out there (#no-genorosity-shown).
Last but not least…
All copyrights of this book belong to me and only me, PotatoDreams. Do not copy this book and post it anywhere. I had put my heart, soul, my little brain, patience, hard work, handwork, internet, everything I have and had from the past two decades, in this book for a year. All credits, merits, and demerits of this book solely go to me and only me. If you really insist, we can share the demerit points since I'm generous by birth. So do not just do the CTRL+ C, CTRL+V and make a generous author feel sad. If you ever make me feel sad, do you know what happens? I get sad. I know it's shocking to most of the people here to hear this. But yes, there are people out there who get sad when they feel sad. Don't ever make anyone feel that. The consequence of it is a real deal to handle. Also, remember the fact that I'm a cannibal before making me feel sad.
I really appreciate you guys for picking this imaginary land among all the others out there. I, with all my potential and of course with love, would try my best to not disappoint you guys coming here.
I know, most of you have skipped to the very end of the chapter not reading my warnings and instructions, I hope you don't skip. Anyways, Have a good read.
