Chapter-2

On the parental front, my family included a considerable number of men and women. For example, my mother, father, siblings, grandmother, uncles, and aunts, and they were a few of them in numbers. Despite having a long list, it was my awful luck; I could not claim that I was closest to the heart of anyone among them. It was not enough; none of them were interested in the name's sake, or in keeping any type of term along with me. That was why they were just my so-called relatives; I did not consider them anything more than that.

My unspeakable tragedy was that I could not really come to know any concrete reason behind their deep hatred for me so far. It was not that I was desperate to meet with any of them. I just intended to keep a formal term with them, but that too they were reluctant to keep. I felt horrendous when someone from my in-laws' side inquired about my parental side or expected their visit to me off and on. It got very abstruse for me to avert their queries. Anyway, my silence used to give them fodder for gossip and lower my position before them. I thanked my stars. I hardly met any of them.

It was challenging and painful for me to utter, but I could not alter the very fact of my life no matter how hard I tried. I was the first child of my parents after a long wait of years. They could not accept me at heart even after that. And, consequently, I became their unwanted child. And down the line, I became branded as a second-degree sibling.

I was labelled an unwanted child because I was a girl. My parents and other relatives were looking for a baby boy desperately to continue their bloody bloodline. To be honest, it was a piece of shocking news for each of them in the family when my mother delivered me. As if someone had died at home. Sorry, I took my words back; the news was terrible for a couple of people; the rest of the people were rejoicing inward but pretending to be sad from outside.

Anyway, for that reason, no food was cooked at home, and everyone went to bed without having a morsel of food that day. And my grandmother went into a deep depression. She could not come out of the trauma before my brother's birth. Everything was complicated in their lives.

My birth caused the lower position of my mother before her sister-in-law and other relatives at home. From that moment, she had to go through a difficult time. She was left with no other option except to bear all the pains and humiliations imposed on her by her husband and mother-in-law, coupled with other blood-sucking relatives.

On top of that, my extra close intimacy, along with my father's second wife, did the job of adding fuel to the fire in addition. Those things always restrained her from coming closer to me. Therefore, our relationship remained bad forever. Her sister-in-law was younger than her. Besides, she had a baby within a year. And that was a boy who strengthened her position higher and more robust. A colossal expenditure happened to my mother so that she could conceive.

There was no bound to grandmother's delight when she discovered my mother had gotten pregnant. My grandmother had distributed the sweets to the entire village, assuming my mother would deliver them and show her the face of her grandson. Even my mother had assumed the same.

They admitted my mother to the best hospital in the city. Until everything shattered when the doctor declared that my mother had given birth to a baby girl. It was painful and not acceptable for everyone that my mother delivered me after a very long time of marriage, which had made her position at home shallow and disrespectful.

My birth overwhelmed my father with grief. To diminish his sufferings and grieves, he began to take back the drink. Before that, he was a teetotaller. Relatives and others used to make him feel a little better, saying that at other times he would undoubtedly father a baby boy. But those words cheesed him off more and more than consoled him.

But his blood relatives were cunning enough. They did not spare him alone. How they, after all, miss the opportunity to rub salt on their wounds.

He showed reluctance to talk about that issue with anyone further. Therefore, he began to distance himself from everyone. Apart from that, he always blamed my mother and complained to my mother that those people made fun of him because she could not give him a baby boy. Not only that, he avoided going to any gatherings but also stopped others from doing so. Before long, he distanced himself from my mother too.

My mother had sensed that everything would get messed up if she did not give birth to a baby boy sooner. They would take her away from home. So, to strengthen her position and stay at home, my mother did not leave a single opportunity to convince my father. She showed her horoscope to him that mentioned she would be mother to a baby boy before long, and somehow she managed to soothe him as she was in a dilemma.

Besides, she used to follow everything, whatever

Priests and all asked her to please God, so that they blessed her with a baby boy. She spent more and more time worshiping God, offering fruits, clothes, and so on, just because God blessed her with one baby boy one time and saved her house from sabotage.

But my grandmother was a hard nut to crack. My mother used to take good care of her, but nothing used to please her; she was desperate for a grandson to continue her son's bloodline. And she had instilled in her mind that my mother was not capable of fulfilling her simple wish. She had resolved that she would not make any more delays and get her son married for the second time as soon as possible. She had begun her search in full swing.

But she did not let anyone know about it. Because she knew very well that her younger sons would indeed create hindrances in her quest, and they would not let the marriage happen. Besides, she did not spare a single chance to taunt my mother and make her feel awful and inferior, so that she could not oppose the second marriage.

All those unpleasant developments in her life after my birth made my mother more frightened and restless. My mother's mind ceased to function correctly. She did not know how to fix things before it was too late. The anger that had formed inside her since my birth was growing deeper and deeper inside her.

And from time to time, it used to explode into bits and pieces. Although I was young enough, I knew all the happenings around me, and I could sense that they were not favourable for my mother and me. In addition to that, I could feel her increasing antipathy inside her, which distanced us from each other.

Certainly, her non-acceptance attitude toward me was unfair and bizarre, but she was not ready to go for it. She should be proud that I caused her to get the promotion, and she became a mother after my birth. I upgraded her position in society, but it could not please her. It was not that she could not get the things and gauge that she was committing a gigantic mistake and sin against me by declining to embrace me, which was my birth right. Actually, there was none on whom she could release her frustration and anger, which had accumulated in her heart against all the unfairness. But what about me?

It was beyond question that time and the situation were not in her favour. Otherwise, she was a smart lady and realized what was going on inside and outside the home. She could perceive how the other relatives were taking advantage of the odd situation in their respective ways. They were always looking for ways to make the prevailing situation worse for her in the guise of well-wishers.

She could see the tough competition that existed among his so-called well-wishers with one another to withdraw money from her husband as much as possible. She understood very well that their concern was fake, and none of them wanted her to become the mother of a baby boy.

They intended to cheat on all the properties while her husband was not in that condition to sense their tricks. Despite being aware of the whole facts, she preferred to stay entirely quiet and ignore their cheats and tricks. She was so well acquainted with it that she brought their tricks into the light of her husband. They would not spare her and would poison her life thoroughly. And so, right then, she found herself helpless to expose them to her husband. And the most important thing was that she knew her husband would not listen to anything from her against them.

She was in horrendous condition because it was none other than her own husband who was the actual culprit of her complete pain. She was escaping from the fact and consoling herself that her husband was innocent. She comprehended it the entire time. It means she would have to pay a heavy price if she tried to object to the injustice which was being inflicted on her.

That was the reason she puked all her venom on me, for she knew at heart that I could do no harm to her. I was afraid to say that she had no realization that she was committing the same mistake with her own daughter that others were making with her. So, she was as guilty as others.

Her antipathy towards me reached an extreme when she

gave birth to my younger sister. She kept crying and sobbing bitterly for a long time and eventually wiped all the tears on her own because she knew that none would come to wipe her tears and console her. She was wailing uncontrollably and cursing her fate. She had complained to God, who did not answer her prayers in her favour. She felt terrible that everything had gone in vain, observing fast frequently, visiting the temple to temple barefoot, but nothing worked.

My grandmother got red with anger as soon as the nurse announced the unceremonious piece of news about my younger sister's birth. She got so furious that she stomped out of the hospital at the same time. Therefore, she did not understand it was all-important to see the baby or meet my mother.

My father also went into depression when he learned about the news. He confined himself to the room. Other relatives were making a sad face from outside; otherwise, they were all rejoicing from inside. Anyway, they cooked nothing at home that day.

My grandmother had taken the call that she would not let my mother in at any point, no matter what. And my father gave consent to his mother's decision to stay quiet. Eventually, my mother had to call her aged father to foot all the hospital bills, but he was reluctant to take her back home. Then she was discharged from the hospital. My grandmother did not open the door for my mother when she got into the house along with her father. They kept sitting there all day long, but they could not budge my grandmother at all.

Eventually, my aunts came forward, who had a significant influence on my grandmother just because she had delivered three sturdy sons in the span of five years. She had to do all the domestic work since my mother had been admitted to the hospital. And she wanted to get an exemption for that entire tedious job. So, she played a trick and somehow convinced my grandmother to keep her back. My grandmother relented to her demand and let my mother stay.

My mother had lost all respect. Everyone treated my mother brutally and she was nothing more than a doormat. They took work from her throughout the day but did not give her even two meals to eat appropriately. She got some food to eat and some clothes to wear. My mother had gotten skinny, and her hair remained unkempt. My father began to drink heavily to forget his grief.

He gave an excellent thrash to my mother when the drink failed to subside his pain. And none came to rescue my mother, as if she deserved that treatment. And they literally enjoyed the sight of my mother being thrashed.

My grandmother did not count on her younger sons at all. She had searched for a beautiful girl for my father's second marriage secretly. Actually, she was well aware of the fact that her other sons would create a hindrance if they came to know about her objective. So one day, with some excuse, my grandmother took my father to see the girl. My father liked the girl in one go. He began to show impatience to getting married to her as soon as possible.

Although my grandmother did not like my father's showing so much restlessness, she stayed quiet there. It worried my grandmother that my father's excitement would turn the thing upside down. She wanted to do that marriage in a hush-hush manner, but her son's restlessness and excitement increased her tension many folds. She knew that my mother and other people in the house would not take a long time to divulge the secret, and after that, they would create hurdles in the way of marriage.

So she dropped the idea of getting back home and asked my father to take her to visit a sister who was going unwell those days. Her plan worked, as everyone was aware of her sister's virulent disease. Then they came back after four days. However, they did not come alone; my new mother was along with them. The ripple of shock prevailed all across the house. Nobody could consume that my grandmother was well aware of their intention, and she got the marriage off without letting any of them know anything.

My grandmother had left them no other option, but to welcome my new mother. They plastered a false smile on her face. My mother was standing in a corner witnessing everything with her tears rolling down her cheeks silently. My father seemed glad, as if he were desperate for a second marriage, and the baby boy's desire was the fake reason behind his second marriage.

They shifted my mother to the outhouse in no time, along with my younger sister and me. The room was gloomy and filled with pesters and doors. We were supposed to sleep on the floor there. My poor mother could not protest all those things that happened to us. She was totally broken. My grandmother had kept a magnificent feast at home on that day, and she had invited the entire village. However, my mother and I retired to the hard floor without having a morsel.

My new mother was also dejected about that marriage. She had made such a big sacrifice so that her family could come out of a miserable life of poverty and lead a decent life. She was the elder child of her parents. Her father died of a virulent disease, cancer, when she was 13 years old. Because of that, she had to renounce her school in middle.

Even after that, she did not leave her studies. She worked in the daytime and ran the house, and at night, she studied. She completed her matriculation privately like that only. On top of that, she took excellent care of her siblings' studies.

She was having a massive financial crisis while running the house and keeping her siblings' studies going on. Therefore, she could not decline my grandmother's lucrative proposal to marry her son despite being half of his age. In return, my grandmother gave her a hefty amount to keep her siblings' studies continuing. Thus, she made a huge sacrifice for her family. She was told the lie that my mother was no longer alive. Before long, she learned that her grandmother's sole purpose for bringing her was to have a baby boy for her son. And she would be taken out of the house if she could not produce a son within a year.

My new mother could not accept my father at heart, ever. She always showed a strong reluctance to have a word with my father. She avoided her best to sit next to my father. My father had undoubtedly loaded her with jewels and other gifts. Yet, she preferred to stay as plain as possible, which cheesed off my grandmother more. She tried to bully her, but she could not succeed, as she had no success in keeping control over my mother.

My father took her to the theatre one time on purpose to seduce my new mother. Although my grandmother had restrained my father from doing so, my father ignored her. There my new mother was mistaken for his elder daughter. My father felt humiliated, and on top of that, my new mother could not stop herself from making fun of him, and she taunted him severely. Thereupon, he was overwhelmed with fear that his new wife would run away and leave him alone. Since then, he followed all her instructions, so she stayed with him.

My new mother was an amazing lady. She was gripped with a feeling of guilt that she was equally accountable for the miseries of my mother. Although she herself was a victim of poor circumstances, she was sorry that she should have enquired properly before giving consent to that marriage. Without any doubt, she used to take excellent care of my mother and ensure that she got good clothes to wear and nutritious food to eat. Then she called the domestic helpers back to work without my grandmother's consent. Therefore, my mother got relief from the entire tedious job. Then her room was well furnished, and the electricity was fitted too.

It was true that she hesitated to have direct words with my mother; however, she looked after her very well. She used to pass all those gifts to my mother, which my father had given her. Besides, she pampered me a lot and, shortly afterward, enrolled me in one of the best schools, against my grandmother's wish. And she dropped me at school on her own.

She did not stay behind to expose if she caught anyone conspiring. Therefore, she became the de facto ruler of the house very soon on her own merits. Her increasing household involvement matters, first and second in business, prevailed on men and women. Before long, my grandmother realized that she had committed a blunder by bringing an educated wife to her son. More than that, she found herself fearless.

She felt terrible that her elder son did not sit next to him and talk about daily affairs with her any longer, as he used to do earlier. She felt that her hold on the house was getting weaker and weaker. On that account, she decided that she would not let my new mother stay there any longer, no matter what. Other than that, she would get her son's third marriage before long. And at that time, all the younger sons came forward to conspire with one another against her. My mother also did not remain away; she joined hands with them.

My mother fostered a strong antipathy towards my new mother. She considered her new mother accountable for her miseries, and she could go to any length to cause her harm. Her behaviour was not only irrational, but also freaky. She was desperate to burn those bridges that fed her. Anyway, she was also included in the scheme along with the others that came to foil, and they all got a good threat and humiliation from my father's hand in return.

My father did not take much time to snatch the treasury key from my grandmother and hand it to my new mother before everyone. Besides, my father threatened her that he would send her to some aged house if she schemed further. Moreover, she was advised to do some prayer every day instead of wasting her time hatching bloody schemes and polluting the house's environment. On my new mother's suggestion, she was moved to the prayer room, which was adjacent to the house. And my mother moved into her room instead.

Then came the turn to punish my aunties; they were assigned the task of doing all the domestic work from other days. Likewise, my lousy uncles were sent to work in the fields in the scorching sun. Though my mother was spared, she took it as her humiliation.

She could not bear the way my father stood by the side of my new mother all the time. And he punished each of the family members who were caught scheming against her. She knew that she had also noticed her. She did not like the mercy shown to her. She took it as a severe insult and tried to finish her life. By God's grace, the string snapped, and she fell unconscious on the floor. After that, the doctor called and confirmed the news of my mother's pregnancy. It was very unceremonious news for everyone, especially for my mother.

Everyone wanted to have the baby aborted, even after knowing the fact that it could put the life of my mother at stake. But it did not bother anyone. They all wanted to get rid of the baby as soon as possible. And my father wanted the same. Then my new mother came forward to rescue the unborn baby and my mother. Eventually, my father had to budge before her demand. And by God's grace at that time, my mother delivered a baby boy.

My younger sister became auspicious from that day. My mother got back to her previous place at home. A gala party was thrown at home, and the entire village was invited for a feast. My mother secured her place at home after delivering the baby boy, but it could not stem my father's love for my new mother. She was getting mad and mad at seeing the closeness between my father and my new mother. Whenever she tried to poison my father's ears, she got an excellent rebuff in return. And the whole thing was sulking her from inside.

No matter how hard they tried to poison my father's mind against my new mother, nothing could create tension in their relationship. My father was not ready to listen to anything against her. He used to give an appropriate rebuke to my mother in response.

"How rude and ungrateful are you? Please do not forget ever that it was she who took care of you all the time. How can you forget she took you to the hospital, donated her blood to you, and herself footed all the bills for the hospital when none was around you? "

Eventually, my mother knew one thing after that; there would be no benefit to speaking ill about her. She would tarnish her image before my father did so. So, she stopped complaining about her further. My father was obsessed with my new mother and her generosity. He felt that he had the opportunity to see the face of his son just because of her.

Soon after, so many things changed in the home. I spent most of the time with my new mother when my father was not around at home. She also helped me learn my lessons, and no doubt, I was doing well in my class. And she was the only one who used to go to attend PTM at my school. And my teachers all took her as my real mother.

My father had also begun to take an interest in me. And many times, we all used to play together. She used to take excellent care of me and called me her princess. My mother tried to stop me from going to see her, but I would always go see her with some excuse. Even though I was too small, I sensed that my mother's heart was welling up with venom for my new mother, which was futile. And she used to keep sulking from inside.

One day, I overheard my mother and grandmother conspiring to do something to get rid of my new mummy before long. It did not take much time to understand that they were both hatching some grisly plans against my new mother. They are conspiring with each other to hurt her. And it was not acceptable to me. My mother appeared to be insensitive. I felt she was among those ladies who were biting the same hand which had fed her for some time.

I could not bear the idea that someone was trying to harm my new mother. My love for her was not only as deep as the sea, but also as pure as the driven snow. My sadness increased when I heard her talking with someone about fleeing together, taking all the jewellers from home. I could not come to know who was at the other end. But yes, I was shaking from the inside to hear all about it.

Despite being conscious of everything, I preferred to remain quiet and let the matter pass as my new mother wished. Yes, I had noticed her leaving at midnight, and I wept a lot. None could come to realize what took place that night; everybody was so obscure that she flew away herself, and they all were glad that they got rid of her for doing nothing.

My father took a little more time to forget her, but he could not accept my mother wholeheartedly after that. And I could never forget her. It was a tremendous loss for me and drove me to grow up and mature some time. Since I was close to her, my mother could never excuse me. Therefore, my silly mistakes became my enormous mistakes, and they chastised me for that. I learned they would never be pleased with me, so I ceased to look for them with any expectation. According to their belief, I was a troublemaker and a dishonour to the family.

I was not that sharp at learning, and anyway, I used to pass the exams. And at the same time, they did not bother about my studies as my new mother used to. They had made up their mind about me long back, that they would get me married as soon as I completed my graduation. But yes, they had a lot of expectations of my younger sister, Ragin.

Ragini was damn good at studying, but she despised me totally. I could not come to know the exact reason behind her despise for me so far. She did not talk to me straight and averted going anywhere with me just because, somehow, I passed the exam, and that thing made my mother feel good from the inside.

It is true that my class teacher frequently complained to her about my poor academic performance. However, she amuses herself by relating the entire situation at home, including all of the spices. She used to get immense pleasure from making me feel embarrassed before everyone. She openly declared at home one day that if I stayed in the same school, she would no longer attend.

The very news pleased my mother. My mother requested this in order to keep my siblings away from me. As a result, my school was relocated the following day. Nonetheless, I enjoyed my new school from the start. I quickly made a lot of friends there. And by God's grace, I got a very nice class teacher. She always encouraged me to do well in studies. She did not take much time to realize that I was an unwanted child.

My sister was smart enough. She was well aware that if she ever said anything negative about our younger brother Atul, everyone would begin to despise her utterly and would not take time to go after her. He was a completely spoiled boy and not actually good at studying.

She was well aware of the importance he actually played in the family as a son. As a result, she didn't dare to annoy him. She felt compelled to tolerate Atul and try to assist him with his studies. But, yes, I exceeded expectations in extracurricular activities. And my teacher also always actively encouraged me to continue to practice those skills. And on that basis, I got admission into one of the best colleges in the city quickly, which was without fail, unbelievable to my family.

Despite living together under the same roof, we were strangers to one another. They were so in a hurry to get rid of me that they did not even understand it was necessary to ask my opinion about marriage in a formality either.

"Do you like this guy or not?"

Once yes, I had raised my voice against marriage, but they at once quieted my mouth, saying,

"Don't you know a beggar has no choice?"

And I got married to Ravi within a week. No doubt, my marriage was celebrated as a gala event. The money was splurged on it like water. Everything was perfect there, which dazzled the eyes of every guest. All the guests were loaded with gifts. But, not a single tear dropped on my farewell, nor did I.

They were immensely delighted that they finally gained exemption from the heavy load over their shoulders, and I was annoyed at each of them for the unfairness that they inflicted upon me. Over six months had passed; they did not come to check on my wellbeing even a single time. Likewise, I had never paid a visit to them, same about the phone. We did not call and trouble one another.