31 Chapter 30: A forceful Act

"Haaa...Hah." I gasped as I managed to caught up to my breath as soon as my mouth had finished talking.

"Water?" Rina-san offered a bottle of water.

"Thanks." I gladly accepted it and reached out for the bottle

*Gulp.Gulp.

"What's the.. ha.. meaning of this?" I asked while panting and sweating.

"Just a little trick." She exclaimed.

"Trick? That means, you did something to me huh, that's why I can't even stop my mouth talking on its own."

"That's right."

I don't know what have she done to me nor I want to know, all I can think about is how humiliating it was to tell your story to someone without your own volition.

What I find weird was she didn't even laugh or tried any mockery; she only listened to me with a serious face.

"So that's the reason you've been trying to kill yourself?" She rested her head onto her hands.

I clenched my fist on my lap, trying to hold myself from any more shameful acts.

"Are you still going to kill yourself just because of that?" She asked and squinted her eyes towards my direction.

"You know, trying to kill yourself because what happened to you is a common thing nowadays, I'm not even surprised that a fourteen year old boy is such a suicidal because of bullying, I already encountered so many clients like that before." She picked up her milk tea and sipped on the straw. "Still, are you going to continue that? Are you fine that you'll be found dead eventually for trying to kill yourself while the one who bullied you is still living, indulging their selves on luxury things."

Of course, I'm not fine with that, but what can I do?

"What can you do? You can do sort of things to settle that feelings of yours."

Huh? Bullshit! Not like I have the courage to continue this life.

"I'm not bullshitting," She looked me in the eyes.

"I can help you to find your courage."

Is it just me or my thoughts are slipping in my mouth?

I'm pretty sure I'm thinking not talking so.. Don't tell me she can read my mind?

"Not really, I can't read it, I can just hear it."

"Huh?.."

"Hmm..'Why the hell this even happened to me? Did I do something wrong? If I'm going to continue living like this I'm sure I'll just hurt myself eventually, why should I live." She stared right into my eyes and bring out my thoughts.

"I'm going to die eventually so why wait for it if I can do it myself to end this nightmare' is what you're probably thinking right now, right?"

She hit the bullseye.

"So what if you're right?" I indifferently said.

"You know, life is not fair, It's no wonder we were born with different cards..."

"Some were born with silver spoon while other were born with nothing, You can complain all you want and get angry with God about your life, but nothing will happen with whining."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"What I mean is even if things doesn't go on to your liking, you're life still depends on you, Choices are ultimately yours to take up the risk to live up to it and your telling me your best decision is to die. Tsk.. Don't belittle life like that!" She slammed the table that produce a loud bang in the room.

She seems angry or rather piss.

"I Know there are rough times that are gonna come but they have not come to say, they have come to pass like the typhoon we always had in the Philippines, problem comes and ruin us but eventually it will leave us and how you handle it is highly depends on you." She sighed as if to express that 'you're such a pain in the ass'."

"Let me tell you something you already know, the world ain't sunshine and rainbows, it's a very mean and nasty place and you already experience such pain, right? But pain is temporary, it may last a minute or an hour, or a day or even a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place, if you quit however, it will last forever.

"Huh? Are you trying to scold me?"

"That's right, because your an idiot!"

Idiot you said? It's not like I want this to happen to me...

"...Again, your letting your head to tell that you're a victim, you shouldn't let your emotions take the better of you that you'll even try to commit suicide..."

"I promise Yuri to save you so I'm going to do this even if you don't want it."

"E-even if you tell me tha--"

"Shut up!" She shouted. "Let me ask you this question." She stood up and came to me, "Are you going to continue running away by killing yourself? If you're planning to run away I have a more suitable way for you and dying will be not an option."

*Sigh*, "I don't want to do this but I guess I have no choice...."

"...What if I told you that I can try to erase the memories you hate that is making you want to die?"

"Erase it?" I let out in with a confused tone.

"Right, I can erase your memory if I you give me your consent."

"You said you can erase memories? Then can you retrieve memories?"

I asked, hoping to have my 10 years of memories came back.

"Who knows? I'm not here to bring you another reason to die, I'm here to make you want to keep living..."

"...Well I can alternate someone else memories if I want to, that's the least I can do."

"Alternate?"

"That means, you can change someone's memories?"

"Yeah, I can do that, I can even make your memories a beautiful one if you like."

"Bullshit! Do you really think I'll believe that?"

I stood up from my chair, "We're not in a fantasy Novel!" And made a fuzz with what she said. I mean who would believe it if someone told you they can erase and change memories.

"You have no choice," She leaned closer to me, pointed her index finger on my forehead, "Either way, I will alternate them as what I promise to my friend I'll save you from your suffering."

Suddenly, Her index finger shone brightly, "Don't worry, I'll make your memories a better one with one purpose that will more likely to make you have a will to live," She said while gripping with full force on my hands that tried to stop her. "Don't worry, I will make your memories as light as possible but I can't guarantee that your memories will not come back. If that happens, I hope you're already old enough to face it."

...

***

*Thud* A loud bang echoed in to the building as I pushed the door with force.

"Rina-san." I nervously stood up in front of the room with the open door and entered it while sweating a lot after running here suddenly as soon as I remembered everything.

"Hmm.." A woman in her thirties, wearing a white coat beside the table fix her pair of glasses and squinted her eyes toward my direction.

"The reason you're here, that means you're memories finally came back,huh."